Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog

One of my culinary pet peeves - alongside overcooked pasta and raspberry coulis - is unwieldy sushi rolls. For the most part, sushi chefs here get it right, fashioning beautiful maki creations that are not only delicious to eat but easily manipulated given the most basic of chopstick prowess. And then, there are the pretenders,…

What are you doing reading this blog? Shouldn’t you be watching SciFi Friday? And if it’s too early to start watching, shouldn’t you be out and about telling people to watch? And if you’ve already watched, what did you think?Well, I’m finally down to my fighting weight - essentially what I weighed when I first…

Tomorrow night is the big night: the return of SciFi Friday, and Stargates Atlantis and SG-1! So if you haven’t already seen them in the U.K., or watched them in Canada, or caught them anywhere else in the world, or screened dubs sent to you by friends or family living outside the United States, or…

I completely forgot to mention one more incredibly efficient means of motivating myself to write: anger. I’m coming down with a cold that has felled both my wife and writing partner, my back is incredibly stiff and sore from that torture rack my mother calls a guest bed, it feels like I spend half my…

One of the nice things about returning home after a long trip is playing catch-up with all of the shows you’ve missed. Last night, Fondy and I (and the pugs, all sprawled on top of us and each other) watched Survivor, The Amazing Race, and a double dose of Nip/Tuck. Tonight, it’ll be Boston Legal…

Yesterday, we bore witness to a true Easter miracle when, prepared to head out for a crappy Chinese buffet dinner, we received word that our host had been felled by a suspect Church potluck potato salad and that our dinner plans had been cancelled. And so, instead of chicken balls and lukewarm egg rolls, we…

The night’s entertainment, a wiry fellow in an ill-fitting suit, was banging out a tune on the electric piano as the middle-aged women at the neighboring table sang along, a boisterous rendition of Roll Out the Barrel in German while their dour-looking husbands concentrated on their appetizers: liver dumpling soup and lentils with sausage. “You…

Fondy’s aunt passed away several days ago and her funeral and wake happened to coincide with our trip to Montreal. And so the extended Tam family gathered yesterday at one of Montreal’s plethora of unremarkable Chinese eateries for a pre-wake dim sum. On hand: everyone. A lively affair and, as always, my mother-in-law was the…

Common sense dictates that certain activities can and will exact a terrible toll on the human body: smoking, recreational drug use, 4 sets of 12 forward lunges holding two 20 pound dumbells. Experience will also suggest other not-so-obvious candidates: eating fried spicy peppers, sleeping in one of the guest rooms in my mother's house. I…

The girl stood crouched over the table, determinedly attempting to tap out a tune with her chopsticks yet, much to her apparent frustration, not having much luck. It was easy to see why. She lacked rhythm. Oh, and she was attempting to play a table ornament. Eventually, the waitress came over and informed her that…

My record is 36-16-2. Not bad. Not bad at all. When I first decided to join a scifi book of the month club, I thought it would motivate me to read at least one novel a month. And it certainly has. It has also motivated me to pick up every past book the club has…

If one were to list Vancouver’s top dining destinations, Vij’s would no doubt make the top 5. It’s inventive Indian cuisine at its finest, a must-go destination for any visitor to the city. My only advice: if you’re planning to check it out, get there early. Vij’s has a strict “no reservations” policy that it…

As a pet-owner, I’m growing increasingly pissed off with the news coming out of this whole Menu Foods’ contaminated pet food debacle. Preliminary reports pointed to rat poison as the likely source of the problem, suggesting nefarious intent, but the latest laboratory analyses have found traces of melamine, a chemical used to make plastics, in…

“I’ll do the takoyaki,”I told the guy behind the counter. “That’ll take thirty minutes to prepare,”he informed me. A thirty minute wait! For octopus balls?!! Forget it! I wandered over to the Cantonese Food counter and ordered the pork slices with garlic sauce and eight pork-chive dumplings…and a blueberry yogurt shake…oh, and an order of…

So I was working on the my blog the other night and the t.v. was on in the background. I believe the station was CITYTV and they were running that Pussycat Dolls reality show - you know, the one my friend refers to as Pussycat Dolls Presents: The Search for the Next Whore. Anyhoo, the…