Monster spend last few months on vakation where me bone up on cursive writing, try all tree boardings - wake, paddle, and water for first time (Me MUCH prefer first two!), and generally healing from mental scars inflikted by 94 straight weeks of Supermovie reviews. Now me back after much-needed R&R (Rest and Remi Martin) and…
September 30, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Iron Man 3!
Dis would have been a great movie if it had been half an hour shorter. And made a lick of sense. Monster can imagine script notes session went someting like dis: Producer: Dis skript full of plot holes and not make much sense. Writer: Dats okay. Me fix it. Producer: By applying logic so it…
September 23, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Black Scorpion!
Boy, dere be nothing worse den doing someting really embarrassing like slipping on a banana peel and falling down a flight of stairs or making a really shitty movie. Fortunately, dere be convenient way to cover such faux-pas. Just adopt ye old "Me meant to do dat!" excuse. Ie - Rosita burn down Mr. Hooper's…
August 26, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Dr. Strange (1978)!
Dr. Strange? More like Dr. Creep! Apparently, dis guy not familiar wit de Hypocritical Oath, but he all sorts of familiar wit "doctor-patient confidentiality"...if you know what me mean. No? Well, let monster put it dis way. When he around de ladies at work, he like Cookie Monster at a bake sale. Or Grover at…
July 8, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Abar, the First Black Superman!
Monster am drunk reviewing dis movie. Why not? After all, me felt positively sloshed watching it. It full of weird cuts, funky music, bizarre performances, interminable montage sekwences of people driving around, and a plot more ridikulous den Sam de Eagle's cruising toupee. Movie begin wit nice family moving into new home. But neighbors not…
June 29, 2013: Oh, and another thing! Not so fast, Cookie!
Oooh, check 'em out. Macaron ice cream sandwiches. They come in four flavors - strawberry cheesecake, coconut-mango, raspberry-pistachio, and chocolate on chocolate with cocoa nibs - now available at Payard. Read all about them here: http://newyork.seriouseats.com/2013/06/payard-macaron-ice-cream-sandwiches.html. Thanks to sis for the heads up. Also pursuant to our macaron discussion my macaron rant in yesterday's blog entry,…
June 17, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Chronicle!
When is a found footage film not a found footage film? When de makers mysteriously bail on de concept two turds of de way thru de movie. Chronicle has distinktion of being de first (mostly) found footage superhero movie. And dat about all dat make it distinkt. It otherwise pretty standard fare. Our protagonist, Andrew,…
June 10, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Captain America: The First Avenger!
No offense to Captain America but, technically, wasn't Thor de "First Avenger"? Dis de first qwestion dat cross monster's mind, followed by "Dis entire movie a period piece?" and "Did me forget to buy cake mix for Grover's potluck supper next Toosday?". Monster sit down to watch Captain America wit an open mind and, while…
June 3, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Vs: All Superheroes Must Die!
Dis less a movie den it be a student film project gone terribly wrong. Poor akting, lame dialogue, weak direktion, and cheap produktion values be de least of it's problems. No, biggest issue monster have wit Superheroes Must Die be it's unforgivable stoopidity and fakt dat it make about as much sense as Lost in…
May 27, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Green Lantern!
What if Deadpool became Green Lantern? Dis seem to be de qwestion dis movie try to answer. Unlike it's more ambitious predecessors, Green Lantern aspire to be little more den a quasi-entertaining kids movie. And it aktually succeed, offering a uncomplikated story devoid of riveting drama or charakters but also free of de stoopid plot…
May 20, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews X-Men: First Class!
Watching X-Men: First Class like dating smart, beautiful she-monster who be fantastik company - until she drink too much, start rambling, talk about her ex, linger over espresso, and leave you wishing date could have ended sometime after dessert and before she vomit in your cabriolet. Disappointing because movie start off VERY strong but, sadly,…
May 13, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Thor!
Dis movie slower den Snuffleupagus backing up. It take longer to get going den Grover de morning after Furries Night at Ye Olde Sesame Street Pub. Movie begin in 965 AD when Odin, King of Asgard, defeat army of Frost Giants and save de nine realms (Earth, Middle Earth, Lower Earth, Ringworld, Narnia, Neverland, Westeros,…
April 29, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Green Hornet!
Do you have low expektations? Are you annoyed by tings like logic and quality? Are you a cretin? If you answered yes to any of dese questions, den you may enjoy The Green Hornet. Movie open on Russian gangster who visit club owned by rival. There, he make rival an offer he can't refuse. Rival…
April 22, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Super!
Dis movie remind monster of Christmas family dinner. It sound like a good idea and everybody expekt a good time but, instead, it end up being sad, depressing, and somebody always get hit in de head wit a big wrench. Movie begin wit lovable loser who happily married to woman way out of his league.…
April 15, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Iron Man 2!
Monster like to rate sekwels on what me call de Sliding Celebrity Sibling Scale. It start at Clint Howard and go all de way up to Mark Wahlberg. Given how much me enjoy first Iron Man, me expect Iron Man 2 to be a real Stephen Baldwin. But it surpass monster's expektations and, initially, me…