IR2 posterMonster like to rate sekwels on what me call de Sliding Celebrity Sibling Scale.  It start at Clint Howard and go all de way up to Mark Wahlberg.  Given how much me enjoy first Iron Man, me expect Iron Man 2 to be a real Stephen Baldwin.  But it surpass monster’s expektations and, initially, me consider it a solid Casey Affleck.  But, in preparing dis review and after further reflektion, me have to downgrade it to a Randy Quaid.

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Iron Man catches Saturday Night Fever

Iron Man 2 pick up not long after first Iron Man end.  U.S. government mad at Tony Stark because dey want to militarize his tech.  Tony refuse and, instead, he do what regular folk do to blow off steam: drink, sleep around, and race in de Monaco Grand Prix.

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Maybe he should stick to Nascar.

Unfortunately, race interrupted by crazy Russian played by Mickey Rourke who, again, be typecast as evil genius.  Motivated by family revenge, he attack Tony wit…er…super electric whips.  But he get his ass beaten because Tony able to change into his Iron Man suit.  And, also, because he be armed wit…er…super electric whips.

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Who else would you get to play part of brilliant scientist?

Russian sent away to prison but later busted out by Tony’s business rival, Justin Hammer, who evidently have desperate need to fill sociopathic affirmative action position within his company.  While Justin leave Russian free hand on his technologies…

Tony continue love-annoy relationship with Pepper Potts who he appoint new Stark Industries CEO.  Sekwel offer some great scenes between dese two and also his chauffeur/bodyguard/director Happy Hogan.  All in all, dialogue in dis movie be as sharp as a super electric whip.  Dat’s pretty sharp!  

In another interesting subplot dat go absolutely nowhere, we learn Tony suffering from blood toxicity caused be his own suit.  Being Iron Man is killing him.  Literally!  It be a great dilemma dat, sadly, given short shrift and too easily addressed before movie’s end.

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Nat from accounts receivable.

Another subplot involve Natahsa Romanoff (aka Black Widow) who be working undercover at Stark Industries to assess Tony.  Her presence in dis movie, along wit a couple of scenes involving Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D., do nothing to advance de story and only serve to set up future Avengers movie.  And give fanboys boners.  

At one point, Tony get so drunk he end up facing off against his best buddy, Rhodey.  In full battle gear!  It be one of de most ridikulous sekwences in dis movie and feel like an attempt to address a producer’s skript note: “De second act be kind of dragging.  We need to insert some aktion.  Who cares if it not make any sense.”

Because he show poor judgement (if dat what you call almost killing a bunch of innocent bystanders) Tony put under house arrest. Meanwhile, Justin Hammer make big demonstration  showing off his new line of iron suits to be purchased by U.S. military – and modeled by Rhodey.

BUT Russian somehow (Hey, me already mention he be a genius) hack into iron suits and sic dem on Iron Man.  

Big aktion sekwence ensues!  Iron Man vs. Rhodey.  Iron Man vs. iron suits.  Iron Man and Rhodey vs. iron suits.  Iron Man and Rhodey vs. Crazy Russian.

Movie end wit a medal ceremony, rooftop kiss, and misplaced god paraphenalia.

Verdikt: Great performances, dialogue and aktion sekwences undone by weak plotting.  Dis sekwel be less Beau Bridges and more Brian Doyle Murray.   

Rating: 6.5 chocolate chippee cookies.

30 thoughts on “April 15, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Iron Man 2!

  1. I actually enjoyed this movie more than the first – perhaps not for the plot, but I found the characters were more relaxed and engaging. IMHO.

    Also, just wanted to say what a sad day it is with the bombings at the Boston Marathon. My heart goes out to all affected by this horrific act. 🙁

    das

  2. Oh I was terribly disappointed by this movie.
    Stargate and superheroes being my main obsessions, I always go into these movies expecting to be let down but with a remaining glimmer hope I fail to quash. In this case I really wish I had succeeding in eradicating all semblance of hope for being impressed, because I was not! So, so big budget glitzy and no respectable storyline.
    Not really interested in watching a “hero” behave like a jackass. Did no one learn anything from the abomination that was Spiderman 3?
    I pray to some deity or another that Man of Steel has been handled correctly. Otherwise I shall be crying all over my FB page for weeks.

  3. Yeah the Bombings in Boston were shocking, my initial reaction was WTF? Those poor people, why would someone do that, when I was seeing reports of bombs going off around the city I was like OMG. Think my badly written post on the other days post describes it best.

    I hope they catch whoever did it, or persons who did it. And that the people affected see justice done.

    Anyway speaking of Iron Man, can’t wait for Iron Man 3 🙂 The budget is insane, 200 million dollars.

  4. 6.5? I can’t say I agree. I really liked this movie. Cookie must be eating special import cookies from Washington State … the new “Herbal” variety.

  5. Actually, this felt to me more like a decent comic book read than did Iron Man 1. Yes, the villain was a bit corny, but it was FUN watching Tony pop out a portable IM suit. It’s almost as much fun as waiting to see what Batman’s utility belt will produce next. We also get to see at least a shadow of the alcoholic, self destructive Tony Stark from the older comics. Quasi-betrayal by his friend, finished with Tony and Rhodey reuniting to take care of the bad guy(s)/rampaging mechanical monsters. Black Widow demonstrating her lethality, as well as establishing her character for the Avengers movie. And sure, the whole “being Iron Man is killing me” plot was wrapped up a bit too easily, but again, the movie has a comic book feel, in a good way. It did not disappoint, even if it did not blow me away with unexpected greatness. So, 7.5 from me.
    My first thoughts were rage when I saw the bombings. And I still wish to do things to the bomber or bombers that would make Torquemada squirm with discomfort. But I am also filled with pride for my fellow countrymen and humans. No sooner than the bombs went off than we saw civilians, military reservists, fire, ems, and police rush forward to render aid to those injured. There was no panic. The system did what it had to, and the incident was mitigated as much as it could be. Now to wait to find out the real story. Sadly, there are already those spinning the incident. Right wing nuts, Arabs, false flag operation…I have to wonder what world some people live in when they make such leaps without recourse to facts.

  6. You know, I saw this movie at the theatre and I actually have no recollection of it. At all. Not sure what that says about the film. Not much positive, I suppose.

    I keep feeling this movie should be better than it is. But, I could never feel that it was nearly as good as the first one. (That I DO remember from the first time I saw it.) The dialogue is witty, the production polished, the action sequences great. But like you say Cookie, the overall story isn’t very good. It’s like they were more concerned with being clever than being good. It’s great if you can be both, but the second should never be subservient to the first.

    Questions, of course:

    How does the super suit affect his physiology that it increases his blood toxicity? It seems it’s his artificial heart thingy that is really the problem, and if so, why isn’t he spending more time (or any time for that matter) on reengineering it to fix that problem? I would think that would be job one. He makes a passing reference to it halfway through the movie, but the suits seem to be able to run with the power supply independently, so why could he not develop a more conventional artificial heart? The problem seems like a very arbitrary ticking clock. Which is then handily resolved well before the end of the movie with the creation of a new “element”. I don’t see how the new element would be less toxic than palladium, since such an artificially created element would clearly be radioactive. Perhaps it should be called Deusexmachinite. This whole aspect of the movie bugged me to no end.

    How did the Russian whip dude (Vanko) already know the plan to bust him out of prison? How did he know what to do with the explosives, etc.?

    IT complaints: When Vanko breaks the encryption within seconds (ridiculous in itself), Hammer says that he broke through their “firewall” quickly. That was merely a login, not a firewall. It always rankles me when IT terms are used so loosely.

    I agree, the fight between Tony and his friend Rhodey in the second act is completely out of place and pointless. It did seem to only be there to liven up the increasingly leaden proceedings. Even then, it seemed like a high tech version of Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots. Bleh.

    So yeah, it was a great movie in some ways. Just not very good.

  7. For me the move should get a 10 JUST because of him putting on the MK V. I watch that sequence over and over again. And the musical score for the movie is really good too. If anyone has the Bluray I highly recommend watching the behind the scenes stuff. How they filmed the action sequences is a real testament to where technology is today.

    Realistically I give the movie a 7.5. Can’t wait for your review of The Avengers Cookie!!!

  8. Was so angry when first hearing the news from Boston. My condolences and prayers go out to all the bereaved families, the injured, the care givers, etc.

    I liked the comic book thrill ride of Iron Man 2. It hit the must-haves: action, technology, buddy camaraderie, hint of romance, zinger dialogue, genius villain, twists, hint at the next installment. Didn’t have uber high expectations, and so really enjoyed it. I agree the suit toxicity plot development was almost a swing and a miss. They could have done a lot more with it, without adding more than a few minutes to run time. The party scenes (before the shoot-out) could have been cut or pared down.

    Kemi-chan does love Vegas… 🙂

  9. @ Jen – Pretty tattoo. Yes, Joseph Mallozzi will see it here, after Monster leaves, and Joe vacuums the cookie crumbes off his computer. Happy birthday!

    @ Cookie – Never did figure out who’s brother was in this movie. 😕

  10. @ Randomness – The bombings in Boston are just terrible. Today is called Patriots Day in Boston – a really big thing there. The marathon, a ballgame – the whole 9 yards. This was obviously planned because of that. An 8-year old boy died, and two others (not yet identified). Last I heard there were at least 10 amputations. Nearly 150 injured, about 17 in critical condition. Just a horrific thing. Worst of all I heard (but I have NOT heard it confirmed) that there was a special dedication to the victims and families of the Newtown school shooting, and those families were invited to the race and a place was set aside for them near the finish. Now, I do not know if that’s true, but if it is I just can’t imagine what those poor folks are going through right now.

    As far as I know only the two bombs went off. While there was another incident/fire, it was unrelated, I believe. I’ve heard other devices were found and neutralized, but – again – no confirmation on that. I usually wait about a week before I feel information is accurate; the first few hours all sorts of erroneous reports come out, so I don’t put too much faith in everything I hear, especially in the first 24 hours.

    In other news, I watched Defiance tonight. It was pretty good! Lots of pale dudes, so that helped, too. 🙂

    das

  11. @ pennlynn – Read your article at CNN.com. You are a very impressive, brave young lady. Your inner beauty shines brightly through. “The ability to love, share, bring happiness and help others is the real beauty of a person.” Well said. God made you a very special person. Thank you for sharing your life and speaking out.

    Thoughts and prayers going out for all involved in the Boston Marathon explosions today.

  12. This movie gets such flack and it makes me sad. Yes, I was disappointed by the Big Bad. And at first, the Rhodey scene didn’t make much sense. But the entire movie plays off the alcoholic!Tony arc from the comics and the Rhodey scene makes 20x more sense when you consider Tony is basically planning on suicide/knows he’s going to die. What seems a tacky action scene becomes a heart breaking fight between friends while Tony desperately gives everything he loves away to the few people that matter to him. (My biggest issue has always been with Rhodey taking the suit – both in the movie and the comics.) Ultimately, the movie tried to do too much which is my only real complaint – and one I’m considered for with IM3 given the various plots seen just in the trailers (Extremis, Rescue, Mandarin). Despite that, I still think I’ll faint with excitement when IM3 ends.lol

  13. Life imitates art…the Boston bombs recall a plot from Season 4 of “Castle”. *shiver*

  14. @Jen: Quite the tattoo! I have friends who got the Earth glyph tattooed on their feet. LOL. Oddly, I’ve asked people to get the Apophis tattoo on their foreheads to show their loyalty to the series, but no takers. Weird, huh?

  15. @dasndanger

    It makes you wonder how anyone can be so evil as to do something so horrible to people. It’s so senseless. Whoever did it is clearly the very definition of a monster.

    First I heard of it was through twitter, I was seeing a lot of posts, so I was like. Okay I haven’t commented here for that day, give my reaction, then I posted a link to a website that had a summary of events for people, the CNN blog thing.

    Just, how, in the world can someone/someones do something so freaking evil.

  16. @Patricia: Hmm… that sounds like a challenge! 😉

    A tad random, but I went in on my birthday to have this done but the artist was booked up so I had it done yesterday. She said over the weekend someone came in asking for a quote for the Earth glyph, and she thought it was strange how she’d never seen that symbol in her life and she has two people coming in asking for it at the same time.
    Now I want to know who this awesome person in my town is! LOL.

    My thoughts are with the people of Boston and the loved ones of those caught up in the senseless act. 🙁

    I also think Cookie needs to eat at least half a cookie for this review.

  17. Cookie, I don’t think the writers/producers of Iron Man 3 can make adjustments in time for May 3 premier. 😉

  18. I really enjoy this movie. Maybe not as good as the first but it’s close. It does suffer a bit from Superhero Sequel Disorder (SSD) by bringing in too many comic book characters at the same time. You end up with a mishmash of a plot where none really get enough screentime. (Although that wasn’t the case with The Avengers but we’ll discuss that in a month or two.)

    Anyway, I don’t care. I still think Tony Stark is the best superhero alter-ego from ANY of the movies we’ve seen. He’s what Bruce Wayne would be like if Bruce didn’t spend all his time brooding in his mansion.

    My only complaint about the whole Iron Man premise is, if he is such a genius why can’t he come up with some tech to just remove the pieces of shrapnel from his heart and be done with the whole glowy thing in his chest?

    This is it! We’re into the home stretch now! Surely there can’t be any bad movies to come. What’s next? Super and The Green Hornet? Damnit!

  19. @ Cookie: I didn’t love Iron Man 2 as much as Iron Man 1. The high point for me was Scarlett Johansson in tight, black neoprene.

    @Jen: Sweet ink!

    @Boston: My positive thoughts to one of my favorite cities.

  20. @ Randomness – I’m a bit worried about my backyard neighbors. They just moved down last summer from Boston. They’re about 10-15 years older than hubby and me, their kids grown and out of the house and all. Anyway, they have lots of friends up in the Boston area, and I haven’t seen them around for a couple days, so I wonder if they went up to the race since Patriots’ Day is such a big deal up there. I’ve tried to call them but their phone goes straight to voicemail, making me suspect that they ARE in Boston where cell towers were shut down and I’m not sure if they’re back up yet. I think texts may still get through so will have hubby send them a text if I don’t hear anything by this evening.

    Also, this whole thing with the shutting down of cell towers in cases like this? That’s why I still have a corded old timey landline tele-o-phone.

    das

  21. @Ponytail: THANKS 🙂 it’s been a crazy few days and doesn’t show any signs of slowing down right now!! Thanks so much for the kind words.

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