Abar - posterMonster am drunk reviewing dis movie.  Why not?  After all, me felt positively sloshed watching it.  It full of weird cuts, funky music, bizarre performances, interminable montage sekwences of people driving around, and a plot more ridikulous den Sam de Eagle’s cruising toupee.

Movie begin wit nice family moving into new home.  But neighbors not happy.  Not happy AT ALL.  Why dey not happy?  Becuz dis family be different.  Different how? Well, for one, de husband and wife talk like dey be reading off cue cards.  Barely. Either dat or dey be sekret robots.

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Dr. and Mrs. Robot

Soon, word gets out.  Breaking news report on radio inform shocked listeners: “A black family has moved into Meadow Park…”!

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Neighbors are clearly prejudiced against non-union aktors.

Gang ride to de reskue and scare off angry neighbors wit deir LED light bedecked jackets.  Dey led by guy called Abar who suggest Doc move back to his old neighborhood.  But doc refuse.  Mayor’s office swing by and offer to buy him out.  Doc refuse.  Even Doc’s crazy uncle break into home in middle of de night wearing creepy mask (what a joker!) and suggest he pack it in.  Doc say no way.

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Abar plays to captive audience.  And old timey wheelbarrow.

Doc’s son have weird (even for dis movie) dream about Old West shoot-out.  De next day, dis inspire him to try to outgun a car.  Car prove faster – and heavier.

Everybody sad.  Doc finally get around to _Oh, by the way! – informing Abar dat he created superhuman serum while working on a cure for heart disease (!).  Dis be very surprising – especially since we’re over one hour into ninety minute movie.  He offer it to Abar.  Why he not take it himself?  Well, uh, good qwestion.  See, Doc claim he have weak heart and, uh, look, do you want super powers or not?

Abar take it and develop powers like…well, Monster not sure.  He turn booze into milk, car into horse and buggy, spaghetti into worms, and drug addikts into high school graduates.  Instantly!  BUT we learn dat if he use his powers for selfish gain, he temporarily lose dem.  How he know dis and how dis figure into story?  Beats monster.  Mebbe dey have sekwel planned.

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Worms All’Amattricana.  See Big Bird for recipe!

Abar turn tables on angry neighbors.  He blow up bomber’s car.  He infest woman’s house wit rats.  He put snake in bed wit other woman.  He make neighborhood REALLY windy, den trap everyone in shrinking t.v. screen of death (?).

And to top tings off, we treated to surprising twist:

Bet you not see DAT coming!

Verdikt: Movie try to deliver message about evils of racism so heart in right place but you know what dey say: Road to Hell be lined wit good intentions.  And sitting thru dis movie definitely feel like one WEIRD road trip down down under.

Rating: 2 chocolate chippee cookies for unintended hilarity.

Today’s entry is dedicated to belated birthday gal and blog regular Tam Dixon!

25 thoughts on “July 8, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Abar, the First Black Superman!

  1. @Tam Dixon:

    Happy Birthday!

    @Cookie:

    I missed this one but I’m not really sorry (more relieved). I’ll miss the next one too due to boy scout camp with my son (I’ll be there all next week). So, what’s planned for two weeks from now?

    @Joe:

    So how is L.A. going? Is Martin’s party still going on or did you make it back to Vancouver yet?

  2. I will say that indeed the movie’s heart was in the right place. The problem was that its brain was all over the fcking map! Everything about it was like some kind of disjointed, random dream sequence – other than the part that was actually supposed to be a dream sequence.

    Darn it, Cookie, you stole my “cue card school of acting” line and now I can’t use it. Oh wait, I just did. Anyway, what is weird is when Abar initially refuses to partake of the serum, Dr. Robot switches into the bizarre, over-emotive tirade that is completely different than the way he has acted the whole movie. Find somewhere in between, dude!

    I appreciate what the movie was trying to convey, but the message is delivered so heavy handedly that it blunts the impact. There’s a scene driving around where Abar actually gives a speech that may as well be directed straight at the audience. I don’t know – maybe at the time there was no other way to get a production going that would deliver this kind of message any other way. Still, it’s more like a bizarre random collection of thoughts than an actual movie. And worst of all, for all the speechifying, when Abar does get super powers he does nothing that we see as helping the plight of those in the ghetto. He does save the rich doctor’s house from the bomb though, so there is that.

    I admit the scene where their child is run over by the car, and the neighbours stare, and then turn their backs was fairly powerful. However, there’s no evidence of any follow up to the child’s murder. Did the police investigate? Were there any charges?

    Ha! I haven’t heard the phrase “This ___ is outta sight!” since, well, the ’70’s! I’m totally going to start using it again.

    That wild West dream was totally out of left field. WTFig Newton? And the hero’s name is “Deadwood Dick”? Too easy.

    Perhaps the sequel involves the adventures of the Super Bunny test subject? That I would watch.

    How did the serum somehow facilitate the powers being of divine origin? Which powers he then uses to actually, you know, KILL someone (a bigoted bomber someone, granted.) Toward the end, the plot/dialogue seemed go right (even more) off the deep end. It’s like they were making it up as they went along. I guess I can see the divine inspiration thing though, because he totally goes all Old Testament on their racist asses by the end.

    The ending nearly killed me. OMGWTFLOL!!!1 It was… outta sight!!

  3. Belated Happy Birthday,Tam!

    I’m glad didn’t waste any time on this movie. Even with the amazing twist at the end – seriously? Give me a break.

  4. Happy belated birthday, Tam! What did you and your guys do for your birthday? Was there cheesecake involved? 😀

    Das, left you a belated prezzie in yesterday’s comments. 🙂

    Cookie, how you sit through all these movies I’ll never know!

  5. Belated Happy Birthday Tam Dixon!!
    and thanks to Cookie for taking one for the team, this one was confusing as heck. still scratching my head and wanting another choc chippee cookie please.

  6. I remember seeing Abar – The First Black Superman in the cinema. Hahaha! No, not really. In the very unlikely event this ever had a theatrical release in Australia I would only have been 6 years old at the time. So, no, I didn’t see it back in 1977 . . . I wish I hadn’t seen it in 2013!

    I was initially confused. I thought this movie was going to be about Babar – The First Super-Elephant! Alas, it wasn’t.

    While watching this movie I had flashbacks to watching Manos: The Hands Of Fate. It felt like it was shot with the same hand-cranked camera that can only capture 32 seconds of footage with no sound, hence the weird editing and the really bad dubbing and sound effects.

    This movie had some amazing dialogue.

    For instance, Dr. Robot describing Abar’s motorcycle gang:

    Their awesome and imposing presence could kindle a riot.

    Robot Jr. arguing with his sister:

    Shut up you watusi wobbler.

    And the bike gang members talking to each other:

    Biker 1: What it is?
    Biker 2: We gotta find Abar, man.
    Biker 3: Get it on, brother.

    Did people really talk like that in the ’70s?

    I must admit some naïveté when it comes to racism in the US in the ’70s. Would a black family moving into a white neighbourhood really cause law abiding middle class white people to start picketing and rioting in front of the black family’s house? I suppose it could happen but I grew up in a totally white, middle class suburb and I couldn’t imagine my parents and neighbours doing that. I hope it wouldn’t happen in this day and age.

    It was quite shocking when the son was run down by the car. When it comes to violence to children most movies tend to shy away from the kid actually dying so I was a little surprised when he did. But, as gforce says, where were the police? Surely a cursory inspection of the grounds around the house by police after the murder would have shown the bomb that the murderer had planted before being discovered by the kid. The police presence seemed non-existent until near the end when they’re hunting down Abar. When they find him they decide to immediately open fire on the unarmed man . . . even the black cop joins in!

    Anyway, as a fan of the blaxploitation genre, this is certainly one of the worst examples I’ve seen. As a fan of film, this is certainly one of the worst examples I’ve seen. As a fan of superhero movies, this is, without a doubt, the worst example I’ve seen. This makes Shark-boy and Lava-girl look good! *waves to Ponytail* 🙂

    The Fifth Element next week. I can’t wait! I might have to watch it a few times between now and then!

  7. Alexis, Janet, Ponytail, Airelle, DP, for the love of Beckett, Sparrow_hawk, JeffW, gforce, arcticgoddess: A big Thanks to all of you guys. There was no cheesecake involved on said birthday but we did go to a Southern Style food restaurant for a big bowl of Mac & Cheese.

    Akemi forbade me on the grounds that it would ruin my appetite for tonight’s big blowout dinner 🙁 I’m waiting to hear about this big dinner.

    You both are living the dream…

  8. First. Thank you so much for the kind words and blog dedication to my son Gibbs.
    Second. Thank you for making me feel compelled to watch this stinker of a movie. I don’t like cheese on my food, but in my movies? Love it!
    Have a great day!!!

  9. @ ftloB – Thankies! That was ADORABLE!!! 😀

    @ Tam Dixon – ftloB gave me an adorable puppy vid…and Joey gave you a…funkadelic superhero movie. I’m thinking he owes you, BIG time! 😉

    Oh, and even though I’m something like 1/16 black (in other words, white), I look more black than the actress who is portraying a character who is supposedly all black. Not to be confused with the All Blacks. (And if you have no idea by now what I’m talking about, google it!)

    🙂

    das

  10. Oh dear, I wish I could turn booze into milk. But why “Superman”, he doesn’t ever seem to fly anywhere? And yet this film is better than 2012, in which John Cusack seems to be yelling “Wee!” whenever another chunk of tectonic plate cracks in two.

  11. Happy Late Birthday Tam Dixon.

    Sorry I don’t always notice Birthday comments. Better late than never though 🙂

  12. Thanks Randomness! To be honest, I didn’t think anyone would notice. It’s kind of overwhelming but appreciated.

    Das: 😆

  13. Das — Glad you liked the Celtic dancing doggie! So cute I’ve watched it three days in a row. 🙄 I’m a pushover for puppies. 🙂

    Mizz TAM — You were trying to sneak a stealth birthday in there, weren’tcha? Hah. Of course we noticed! We enjoy your posts. We might remember next year, in a vague way if you prefer. 🙂

    JeffW — How was your post July 4th cookout?

    Joe and Akemi — How did the rest of your L.A. visit go? Did the fur tribe miss you?

  14. @TamDixon I was first thinking. Hmmmm… You’re in LA. Joe’s in LA. We still don’t know what he got Martin Gero for his birthday. Maybe it was a visit from you? If so, he really outdid himself this year for being original.

    When I watched the ending of this movie, I said, “Wait a minute—sickle cell disease does not turn a black person into a white person.” But I decided to check to make sure I was right. There is an increase in rate of sickle cell anemia in white people because of hidden black ancestry but that’s it. We’re all mutts in one sense or another. Except Jeff, my husband. He’s 100% Irish. I’m Polish, Irish, English, French, German and Scottish. MUTT! I haven’t found the French or German lineage yet, so this might just be one of those things where fact and fiction got merged in telling stories to family members throughout the generations.

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