Dis would have been a great movie if it had been half an hour shorter. And made a lick of sense. Monster can imagine script notes session went someting like dis: Producer: Dis skript full of plot holes and not make much sense. Writer: Dats okay. Me fix it. Producer: By applying logic so it…
June 24, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Avengers!
Dis movie have everyting you would expekt from a summer blockbuster. Humor! Fun! Action! Dazzling speshul effekts! Cracking dialogue! Overlong running time! And some developments dat not make sense - but be pretty cool anyway. Movie begin at top secret S.H.I.E.L.D. facility where scientists studying glowy box very similar to one we saw in Captain…
June 10, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Captain America: The First Avenger!
No offense to Captain America but, technically, wasn't Thor de "First Avenger"? Dis de first qwestion dat cross monster's mind, followed by "Dis entire movie a period piece?" and "Did me forget to buy cake mix for Grover's potluck supper next Toosday?". Monster sit down to watch Captain America wit an open mind and, while…
May 20, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews X-Men: First Class!
Watching X-Men: First Class like dating smart, beautiful she-monster who be fantastik company - until she drink too much, start rambling, talk about her ex, linger over espresso, and leave you wishing date could have ended sometime after dessert and before she vomit in your cabriolet. Disappointing because movie start off VERY strong but, sadly,…
May 13, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Thor!
Dis movie slower den Snuffleupagus backing up. It take longer to get going den Grover de morning after Furries Night at Ye Olde Sesame Street Pub. Movie begin in 965 AD when Odin, King of Asgard, defeat army of Frost Giants and save de nine realms (Earth, Middle Earth, Lower Earth, Ringworld, Narnia, Neverland, Westeros,…
April 29, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Green Hornet!
Do you have low expektations? Are you annoyed by tings like logic and quality? Are you a cretin? If you answered yes to any of dese questions, den you may enjoy The Green Hornet. Movie open on Russian gangster who visit club owned by rival. There, he make rival an offer he can't refuse. Rival…
April 1, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Kick-Ass! Goa’uld-related news!
Dis film be filled wit violence, torture, and a little girl charakter more potty-mouthed den Grover dat time he developed "chemikal burns" on his blueberries after jacuzzi party wit Madonna. It be a terruble, TERRUBLE movie for kids. But a super, FANTASTIK movie for monster. Me loved it! Kick Ass ask de qwestion: What if?…
March 25, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews X-Men Origins: Wolverine!
Noooooooooooooooo! BIRDSEYE VIEW of monster on knees, head trown back, staring up at de sky in anguish while me scream: Nooooooooooooooooo! DAT pretty much sum up monster's review of dis movie. Me know, me know. Why would monster use such a hackneyed and cliched camera shot to sum up X-Men Origins: Wolverine? Well, read on...…
March 18, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Watchmen!
Who watches de Watchmen? Well, Monster for one. All 3+ hours of direktor's cut. It longer den a superbowl halftime show and inklude raspy-voice narration dat, at first, gimme flashback to craptakular Spirit - BUT, ultimately, monster like dis movie. A lot. It be smart, engaging, and thought-provoking. For instance, scene where Nite Owl and…
March 11, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Spirit!
Watching The Spirit be like being trapped in elevator wit chatty, pompous - albeit well-dressed - douchebag suffering from explosive diarrhea. For 90+ excruciating minutes. Forget waterboarding; dis film be worser cruel and inhuman punishment. By de point where Samuel L. Jackson strut onto stage in gestapo Nazi regalia to deliver arch, long-winded speech, me…
March 4, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Dark Knight!
Tree tings monster hate most in dis world: injustice, poverty, and movies dat run more den two hours. Unless film be based on musty Russian novel, it have no business being so long. Seriously! Your movie be about a guy running around town in a cape punching people. It not exaktly Anna Carnita or Dr.…
February 25, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Hellboy II: The Golden Army!
Monster pleasantly surprised by first Hellboy so, of course, me expeckt less of de same from de sekwel becuz, after all, it be a sewkwel. Remember Hangover II? Blues Brothers 2000? Citizen Kane II: The Quickening? But Hellboy II: The Golden Army out-surprise de first Hellboy. It a movie wit even more heart, even more…
February 11, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Incredible Hulk (2008)!
This movie be improvement over first Hulk film de way a bad cold be improvement over Type A influenza. In retrospekt, you not want to subject yourself to either but, hey, in dis case beggars Supermovie of de Week Club reviewers can't be choosers. Still, whereas first movie be uniformly stoopid-ridikulous throughout, dis Hulk movie start…
February 4, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Iron Man!
Monster not want to sound sexist, but Iron Man be waaaaay more fun and exciting den sekwel Iron Lady. Movie open on rich industrialist playboy Tony Stark, a guy who be seeing more girly action den Kermit during his Muppet Show days! But during grand tour of Afghanistan, his military convoy attacked (see, dis why…
January 14, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer!
Benign and inoffensive. Dat pretty much sum up dis movie. On de one hand, it not sink to craptastic lows of first FF movie; on de other hand, it never quite reach de lofty heights of mediocrity either. Reed Richards and Sue Storm be in love and want to get married. Meanwhile, silver alien on…