Gross insults. Name calling. Petty squabbling. Perceived slights blown out of proportion. Yes, it's that time of year again! Time for... FANTASY FOOTBALL!!! Even though we're 11 days away from draft day, the excitement is palpable. Adding intrigue to this season are a couple of controversial rule changes (we're going with 3 starting wide receivers…
August 8, 2013: Joffrey, Cersei, Ilyn Pane, The Hound, Polliver, The Mountain…plus a few additions of my own! Vote for our next movie! Let’s skip lunch and just have water instead! Akemi
You know what I hate? When someone doesn't get back to you. Especially when that someone is an individual who has, in the past, been very quick about returning messages...possibly owing to the fact that they actually needed something from you at the time. So, I'm going to try a little experiment. It's been approximately…
August 7, 2013: Marked for death! Select your sandwich! News of note!
This morning, I came across this interesting article that offers up a list of 11 t.v. characters originally slated for death who were granted a reprieve by the show's producers: http://www.avclub.com/articles/i-can-kill-you-whenever-i-please-but-not-today-11,101147/ Some surprising names on the list including The X-Files' Melvin Frohike (the bespectacled member of the Lone Gunmen), Battlestar Galactica's Karl "Helo" Agathon, Jack…
August 5, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Dark Knight Rises!
Dis movie remind monster of Snuffleupagus after last year's Oktoberfest: a big, bloated, confused mess dat hang around way too long after party end.Movie picks up 8 years after last one. Harvey Dent be dead and Gotham be organized crime free. Batman be gone and Bruce Wayne now a bitter whiner who walk around wit…
August 3, 2013: Yes. AGAIN! Far East T.V.!
My oven is broken. "Ho ho!"you say. "Joe is running out of ideas for his blog! He did the old "my oven is broken" blog entry five months ago!" February 28, 2013: The Not-So-Lonely Maytag Repairman! True, but my oven is broken again. "Ha ha!"you say. "Joe is REALLY desperate for writing material. He already did…
July 31, 2013: Upcoming Under the Radar Movies to Look Forward To! Or Not!
THE ARTIST AND THE MODEL Release Date: August 2, 2013 What it’s about: In 1943 occupied France, a beautiful young refugee changes the life of a famous sculptor. What it’s got working for it: Great reviews. What’s it’s got going against it: Potentially painfully pretentious. EUROPA REPORT Release Date: August 2, 2013 What it’s about:…
July 30, 2013: Upcoming Movie Releases to Look Forward to! Or Not!
2 GUNS Release Date: August 2, 2013 What it’s about: A DEA agent and a U.S. naval intelligence officer become unlikely allies in an off-book effort to take down the criminals who set them up. What it’s got working for it: Mark Wahlberg and Denzel Washington are the Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg of our…
July 29, 2013: Our Movie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Stargate!
Monster not familiar wit Stargate series starring MacGyver and RuPaul so left somewhat confused by dis film dat be reminiscent of de old Crosby and Hope road movies - but wit more killing and androgyny. Movie open in distant past where revival of de musical Hair get awaken while sleeping on a giant soundstage. Wind…
July 25, 2013: Six-Eyes, YoYo and The Spider!
Lately, Akemi, presumably too bothered to put in her contacts, has taken to wearing her glasses when she's out and about - and, on sunny days, her sunglasses as well. That's "as well" as in "in addition to" rather than "instead of". As a result, I've taken to calling her Six Eyes.Which brought me back…
July 23, 2013: Akemi on a culinary tear! And Cookie Monster’s next movie review will be…
This morning, I woke up to this: And, later, came home to these: These delectable chocolate ganache macarons are just the latest in the long line of culinary creations Akemi has put her little heart into. Check 'em out... I feel fortunate that her interests don't run to less delicious pursuits like macrame or the…
July 22, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club Reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Despicable Me!
It happen to monster all de time. Me have fond memories of a movie or t.v. show, someting from way back in de day when monster have more fur on top and much less on de bottom (if you know what me mean) but, invariably, when me sit down for a rewatch, monster always end…
July 19, 2013: My Japanese expressions! A cook book signing! And a movie poll!
"I have a headache,"I informed Akemi as I picked her up following her afternoon English class. "Do you know what that's called?"she asked me. The Japanese seemingly have a term for everything, so I was expecting something along the lines of atama na atsui (hot head) or tayo nemutai (sun sleepiness) or even kanso nomiso itai (dry brain pain). Instead,…
July 15, 2013: Cookie Monster reviews The Fifth Element!
If watching Abar: The First Black Superman like being on two week vodka bender, den watching The Fifth Element definitely involve some heavy drugs. You need dem in order to fully appreciate dis film - preferably acid which monster suspekt be obvious preference of filmmakers. Dis movie a wildly mixed bag of nuts. On de…
July 10, 2013: Tokyo plans! Watch this! And not that!
"Did I receive any mail?"asked Akemi. She seemed genuinely crestfallen when I informed her: "No.", then did that thing she always does when she's thinking, alternately inflating one cheek, then the other. "Waiting for something?"I asked. "An invitation to my sister's wedding." I considered. "Are you sure you're invited?" She threw me a look, then…
July 8, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Abar, the First Black Superman!
Monster am drunk reviewing dis movie. Why not? After all, me felt positively sloshed watching it. It full of weird cuts, funky music, bizarre performances, interminable montage sekwences of people driving around, and a plot more ridikulous den Sam de Eagle's cruising toupee. Movie begin wit nice family moving into new home. But neighbors not…