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2 GUNS

Release Date: August 2, 2013

What it’s about: A DEA agent and a U.S. naval intelligence officer become unlikely allies in an off-book effort to take down the criminals who set them up.

What it’s got working for it: Mark Wahlberg and Denzel Washington are the Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg of our generation.

What’s it’s got going against it: This movie look about as fresh as last week’s dinner.

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PERCY JACKSON: SEA OF MONSTERS

Release Date: August 7, 2013

What it’s about: Teenage demigods travel to The Bermuda Triangle in their quest for the Golden Fleece.

What it’s got working for it: Someone took the trouble of making this movie which is based on a book series, so it’s safe to assume there’s a pre-existing audience for this Harry Potter/X-Men mash-up.

What’s it’s got going against it: Teenage demigods?  Seriously?

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WE’RE THE MILLERS

Release Date: August 7, 2013

What it’s about: A small-town drug dealer enlists the help of a stripper, a wannabe customer, and a teen street punk to pose as a straight-arrow family and help him smuggle a shipment of marijuana over the Mexican border.

What it’s got working for it: Jason Sudeikis.  And the trailer actually looks funny!

What’s it’s got going against it: Trailer can be deceiving, front-loaded with the funniest (sometimes the ONLY funny) parts in the actual movie.

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DISNEY’S PLANES

Release Date: August 9, 2013

What it’s about: Talking planes.

What it’s got working for it: If you sat through Cars in its entirety then you could probably do the same for this movie.

What’s it’s got going against it: Seriously, what’s next?  Disney’s Washer Dryers?

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ELYSIUM

Release Date: August 9, 2013

What it’s about: In a distant future where the wealthy live on a space station called Elysium while the masses live below on Earth, a champion rises to save the planet’s impoverished inhabitants.

What it’s got working for it: Director Neill Blomkamp of District 9 fame helms what looks like a mighty good-looking movie.

What’s it’s got going against it: Uh, you do realize this is just an old Star Trek episode, right?  The Cloud Minders.  Look it up.

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KICK-ASS 2

Release Date: August 16, 2013

What it’s about: The sequel to Kick-Ass sees (more) grown-up versions of Hit Girl and Kick-Ass team up with a new bunch of caped crusaders to take on Red Mist.

What it’s got working for it: Loved the original.

What’s it’s got going against it: Older versions of these characters lack the charm that made the original so watchable.

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LEE DANIELS’ THE BUTLER

Release Date: August 16, 2013

What it’s about: Inspired by the true story of a White House butler who served eight American presidents.

What it’s got working for it: A terrific cast headlined by Forest Whitaker.

What’s it’s got going against it: The trailer walks a fine line between poignant/stirring and pat/cloying.  The movie could fall on either side.

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JOBS

Release Date: August 16, 2013

What it’s about: Apple founder Steve Jobs.

What it’s got working for it: Jobs was an interesting guy – in both good and bad ways.

What’s it’s got going against it: How much of the real Jobs will the film capture?  The brilliant inventor who revolutionized technology?  As well as the guy who made it a habit to park in handicapped spots?

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PARANOIA

Release Date: August 16, 2013

What it’s about: A brilliant young tech wiz gets caught up in a high-stakes world of industrial espionage.

What it’s got working for it: Well…there’s Harrison Ford.  And Gary Oldman.

What’s it’s got going against it: Liam Hemsworth as the brilliant young tech wiz.  You buying it?  Me neither.

The_Mortal_Instruments__City_of_Bones_14

THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS: CITY OF BONES

Release Date: August 21, 2013

What it’s about: A teenager finds out she’s a descendant of the Shadowhunters, protectors of this world from otherworldly creatures.

What it’s got working for it: Again, it’s based on a book series that was popular enough to inspire a movie.

What’s it’s got going against it: In the tradition of Twilight and The Hunger Games comes…perhaps more of the same?

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THE FROZEN GROUND

Release Date: August 23, 2013

What it’s about: An Alaskan State Trooper hunts down a serial killer.

What it’s got working for it: An intriguing premise…

What’s it’s got going against it: …that has been done to death.  What sets this movie apart?

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THE WORLD’S END

Release Date: August 23, 2013

What it’s about: A group of former buddies, now middle-aged men, reunite for a massive pub crawl – that takes a decidedly unearthly turn.

What it’s got working for it: From the people who brought us Shaun of the Dead.

What’s it’s got going against it: Also Hot Fuzz.

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YOU’RE NEXT

Release Date: August 23, 2013

What it’s about: A gang of masked murderers crash a family reunion, but unbeknownst to all, a far more dangerous killer resides in the house.

What it’s got working for it:  An interesting twist on the serial killer genre.

What’s it’s got going against it: The trailer doesn’t deliver on the promised inventiveness.  Just looks like more of the same old same old.

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CLOSED CIRCUIT

Release Date: August 28, 2013

What it’s about: A couple take on the defense of an accused terrorist.

What it’s got working for it: It looks like a smart, suspenseful international thriller.

What’s it’s got going against it: Possibly too cerebral for its own good?

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GETAWAY

Release Date: August 30, 2013

What it’s about: A former race car driver must race the clock in a Shelby Cobra Mustang to save his wife.

What it’s got working for it: Could be a cross between Speed and Bullitt.

What’s it’s got going against it: Or Speed II and Gone in 60 Seconds.

28 thoughts on “July 30, 2013: Upcoming Movie Releases to Look Forward to! Or Not!

  1. The Butler looked good until I saw Oprah Winfrey. Guuuhhh, why? I’ll probably still watch this one, though. 🙂 Out of the bunch, the only other one that got my attention was Closed Circuit, and possibly, if I’m in a silly mood, We’re the Millers. What passes as humor these days is incredible.

  2. Dude….DUDE!! Wotareya talkin’ ’bout??! Hot Fuzz was BRILLIANT!!! Early reports from across the pond indicate that The World’s End will be equally brilliant! You really need to re-watch Hot Fuzz – it gets better every time! Maybe we (as in, the blog) need to sit down and each discuss our individual sense…senses…WHATEVER!… of humor, and maybe how it relates to the movies we like (as well as other entertainment), and even how we react to things said on-line. For instance, I recently quit a FB group because something I said in jest about a fictional character was taken extremely serious by someone who just didn’t grasp the humor, and so instead of dealing with an on-line hissy fit, I just walked away. The interwebs just has this knack of killing one’s sense of fun.

    das

    das

  3. I am thinking that Cookie Monster could benefit from some movie theater magic. Perhaps once per month you could incorporate one of these “Upcoming Movie Releases to Look Forward to! Or Not!” movies into the Super Hero Movie of the month mix. I’d be interested to hear what he has to say about new releases.
    Also you should check out the Percy Jackson Series. The books are quick reads, very engaging, smart and funny. I picked the book up on a whim and it was the title of the 1st chapter that made me want to read the books “I accidently vaporize my pre-algera teacher” The movie, was ok. As the saying goes never judge a book by its movie.
    Shana

  4. Will I see these at the theatre?

    2 Guns: No.

    Sea of Monsters: No.

    We’re the Millers: Oh, Hell no.

    Planes: Priyanka Chopra voices one of the planes, so – Hell yeah! (Priyanka Chopra… *sighs*)

    Elysium: Maybe Netflix

    Kick-Ass 2: Maybe Netflix

    The Butler: NoZZZzzzzzz….

    Jobs: Ashton Kutcher as Jobs? Heresy.

    Paranoia: I have enough, thank you.

    Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: I suppose this will spawn a “City of Boners” porn version. No.

    Frozen Ground: Has Cage done a good movie since “Raising Arizona”? No. Plus, I’ll have that here soon enough.

    The World’s End: Hey, I LIKED “Hot Fuzz”! Still, probably not.

    You’re Next: No, you are.

    Closed Circuit: Maybe

    Getaway: Thanks, I will. From this movie.

  5. I like Simon Pegg so that’s probably the only one I’ll check out… Although Elysium looks pretty good… Where’s R.I.P.D. on the list *snicker*

    Steve Jobs parked in handicap parking? That’s a douche move. I always figure that Karma will say “You wanna park in handicap parking? I’ll give you a reason to actually need it.” Ohhhh wait… hmmmmm…

    K

  6. Oh Lord. Not another mindless movie by little Miss Don’t-Mess-Up-My-Hair queen of cardboard personalities, Jennifer Aniston. I don’t care Brad dumped you! That was 5 kids ago! Get over it!

  7. @What’s it’s got going against it: Seriously, what’s next? Disney’s Washer Dryers?

    In fairness Disney came out and said they had no more ideas for Cars and wanted to go for something different, thus Planes was born.

    These aren’t serious movies, movies like these are made to shift the toys. Watch when Disney bring out dozens of Planes related toys lol

    You sometimes see this with anime, when the TV ratings are bad, the DVDs sell next to nothing yet they announce more episodes, because it’s like an advertisement for the merchandise if the toys/manga/games are selling well.

  8. All of those are DVD rentals at best. But you didn’t like Hot Fuzz?!?!?! You need a re-watch Joe, it’s awesome. Actually maybe you and Cookie Monster could watch it together and he can do his thing with it.

  9. YOUR NEXT – “What it’s about: A gang of masked murderers crash a family reunion, but unbeknownst to all, a far more dangerous killer resides in the house.”

    …okay, why would anyone want to watch a movie about MOLD?????

  10. Well… hmmm.. won’t be seeing any of these in the theaters. For that matter the only ones I would probably watch are Kick Ass 2 if it happened to come on television one afternoon when I was bored and had nothing else to watch. I’d watch We’re the Millers for the same reason. As for World’s End that one looks funny and Simon Pegg is usually pretty entertaining as I love his sense of humor so worth the effort of getting it from Netflix.

    @Kymm I agree, parking in the handicap parking is a pretty douchey move

  11. I wonder if Steve Jobs invented the ‘Electric Car Recharge Parking Space’?

    …I only ask, because technically it’s not illegal to park there with a non-electric car. I have never done it, but there are always open recharge parking spaces in otherwise full parking lots and there is no law about parking a regular car in one of those spots. Sometimes the recharge parking spaces are closer to the door than the designated handicap spaces, and as being someone with ALS, I find it highly offensive that some parking lot designer felt it was more necessary to accommodate someone who drives an electric car over someone with a handicap/disability.

  12. The only one I’ll see is The Butler and only because I know someone connected with the movie. Other than that, I just don’t watch many movies anymore.

  13. Getaway and Planes here. We’re all gear (and propeller) heads in this family! Although I have a fear that Getaway will be like Fast and Furious 6 with impossible chase scenes (50 mile runways anyone?)

    I’m also not a fan of big screen biopics, so I’ll skip the Jobs biography.

    As for the rest, we’ll see.

  14. Slightly offtopic, but it’s kinda crazy how The Amazing Race Canada has been the most watched show on a Monday night for 3 weeks running on Canadian TVs.

    Who would of thought that there would be a high demand for quality reality TV? 😉

  15. Yes: We’re the Millers,

    Possibly: Elysium, Kick-Ass 2, You’re Next, Closed Circuit

    Highly unlikely: 2 Guns, Percy Jackson, Planes, The Butler, Job, Paranoia, The Mortal Instruments, The Frozen Ground, The World’s End, Getaway

  16. @Lewis – OMG, DYING. Mold. That’s brilliant.

    Another thing Mortal Instruments has going against it; the author of the novels is a known plagiarist.

    Elysium looks cool, but reviewing the Star Trek premise, now I’m really annoyed that it’s a white male lead. Hard to express a story about classism when the lead reflects the privilege of those making the movie.

  17. I saw The World’s End on the weekend. It was good but not as good as Hot Fuzz which I think is great. So I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one.

    Out of the list above I’ll probably go see Kick Ass 2, Elysium and Planes. I really liked Cars so will give Planes a try but I fear Pixar are releasing so many sequels these days it’s like they’ve run out of ideas.

  18. Well, since I haven’t made it to a theater for a movie I wanted to see in a year or more … these are all pretty much DVD/free movie channel fodder.

  19. @ Lewis – 😆 !!! (Actually, a movie about mold may be more interesting than most of the above offerings.)

    @ Joe – We’re the Millers? Really? I bet you think Will Ferrell’s funny, too. 😉 My husband thinks he’s hilarious, btw, so you’d be in good company. Personally, I just don’t get modern American ‘comedy’. Like SNL, I find it all a bit obnoxious. To me the difference between American comedy and British comedy is that American comedy just tries too hard, and I find that rather annoying. But hey, diff strokes, and all that.

    @ Line Noise – I don’t think anything can top Hot Fuzz, which is a near-perfect flick, imho…well, not so humble opinion. 😉 Still, The World’s End looks damn good, and though I doubt it’ll top its predecessor I’m sure it’s going to be a fun ride. 🙂

    das

  20. I’ll probably see the Percy Jones movie. The books are easy reading and fun. A little junk food fiction, you know? Elysium looks interesting but I might save both for rentals. Ender’s Game is the one I’m waiting for.

    One question for ya. How do you spell Cancelled? Is it one L or two? Hubby and I have been disagreeing about that.

  21. 2 Guns: Just another Denzel-being-pissed-off movie. Snooze.

    Percy Jackson: Couldn’t care less.

    We’re the Millers: Looks fun, but can Sudekis carry a movie? Not so sure. As much as I like Jennifer Aniston, I’m tired of all her “I’m not Rachel” roles. Give it a rest! We get it! (Although she did well really in Horrible Bosses.)

    Planes: Not Pixar, and it stars Dane Cook. Why? Toy sales must be down. I’ll wait for Washer Dryers. THAT sounds interesting!

    Elysium: More than likely that I’ll go see it. It looks really pretty and hey, Neill Blomkamp. But, you already knew that. 😉

    Kick Ass 2: Never saw the first. Pass, for now.

    The Butler: Could be a great movie or they could make it only about race and it’ll suck. Does Oprah pee in this movie, too?

    Jobs: If Ashton Kutcher can ruin Butterfly Effect(a potentially great movie), I doubt he’ll do a biopic justice. Similar looks ≠ great acting.

    Paranoia: Ford and Oldman, yes. Amber heard with dark hair, hell yes. Hemsworth, no. Premise, no. Trailer makes the movie look almost exactly like Limitless.

    Mortal Instruments: Is this Twilight 5 or 6?

    Frozen Ground: I like the idea of Cusack as a bad guy, but everything else looks like it wouldn’t even make a good episode of some TV crime drama(take your pick).

    World’s End: HELL YES!!! Love Edgar Wright. Love Simon Pegg. Love Nick Frost. Love Martin Freeman. Loved Shaun of the Dead. Loved Hot Fuzz. Granted, it looks like a subtle rehash of SotD, but hey, I finally have a movie I’m excited to go see this year!

    You’re Next: Again, what’s the draw of horror movies? I don’t get it. All the suspense of who dies in it and who dies next is removed in just that trailer alone. Why go see the movie?

    Closed Circuit: Has potential. I want to see more, but I also don’t want to ruin it. Maybe if I get a good friend’s recommendation, or if you go see it, Joe, and extol its virtues….

    Getaway: As much as I’m a huge Mustang guy, this looks boring. Tell me again, who is Selena Gomez? Why is she famous? Did Disney say so?

    I remember a time where the ratio of good movies to bad throughout the course of a summer was like 4 or 5 out of 10. Lately, it seems that number has plummeted to 1 out of 10, in a good year. Sigh.

    -Mike A.

  22. @ Tam Dixon – It’s either way, but I personally prefer ‘cancelled’. I think it all depends on how it appeals to one’s eye.

    Here’s a link: http://grammarist.com/spelling/cancel/

    We have a local free newspaper that always spells ’employee’ as ’employe’ (both are correct) because it saves X amount of dollars in ink (or so they claim). I would love to know if over the years American publishers changed the spelling of many words by dropping extra letters just to save on the cost of ink, especially back in the 18th and early 19th century when print was the main means of communication. It would be interesting to find out.

    @ JeffW – My book, Out of Time, arrived today! I may wait until fall to read it…or not. It looks really good! Will let you know how I like it when I finally crack it open (Mr. Das will probably read it, too 🙂 ).

    das

  23. You say “and Hot Fuzz” like that’s a bad thing. That was a funny movie. That’s the movie that made me want to see Shaun of the Dead.

    Although they also made that movie with the alien, and I did think that one was pretty bad.

  24. @ das

    Will Ferrell’s hilarious… sometimes. Sometimes he’s just painfully (and uncomfortably) unfunny. And occasionally very boring. He’s so much of a mixed bag that I don’t really get excited about his movies anymore, even though I love some of them.

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