Yo, Six-Eyes!  What's up?
Yo, Six-Eyes! What’s up?

Lately, Akemi, presumably too bothered to put in her contacts, has taken to wearing her glasses when she’s out and about – and, on sunny days, her sunglasses as well.  That’s “as well” as in “in addition to” rather than “instead of”.  As a result, I’ve taken to calling her Six Eyes.

Which brought me back to yesterday’s post – those childhood pics (keep ’em coming!) – and growing up in general.  Today, I’m known as Joe, occasionally Joseph.  Back in the day, I was known as Joey, the more juvenile variation of my name still used by my mother, some of my relatives, and certain readers of this blog.  My cousins used to call me YoYo.  Not because I was possessed of a resilient personality that would see me spring back up from the lowliest of depths, or my ability to regale them with astounding tricks, but simply owing to the fact that YoYo was a lot easier for a 3-5 year old to pronounce than Joey. As far as nicknames went, that was about it.  I remained fairly nicknameless – until high school when my drama teacher dubbed me “The Spider”.  Unlike YoYo or Joey, I quite liked The Spider and kind of wished it had stuck into adulthood.  “How do you do.  I’m The Spider. No, just call me Spider.”     Can you imagine how many more people in the industry would have stood up and taken notice if they’d seen Executive Producer The Spider flash up onscreen?

An enormous opportunity missed.  Instead, I’ll have to make do with Joseph Mallozzi and rely on my writing, rather than a cool name. Although, just between us, if one of these projects in development doesn’t get greenlit before year’s end, I’m going to give The Spider a go.

Hey, speaking of those “projects in development” – no word on Dark Matter or the urban fantasy pilot, but we’re close to deciding on a production partner for that rare non-genre series I wrote a pilot for a couple of months back.  We have a hugely supportive broadcaster that loves the project and now, all we need to do is lock up a deal, write a bible (I really hate writing bibles) and episode #2 (which I’ve already more or less broken).  And, after that…nope, not going to say it.  Let’s simply hope for the best. 

32 thoughts on “July 25, 2013: Six-Eyes, YoYo and The Spider!

  1. An old boyfriend of mine was Joe, as well, and was Yoyo to some of us. “Yoyito” when we really wanted to bug him. 🙂

    This anniversary dinner is not turning out so well, too much other stuff going on! I think I’ll turn in early, watch some Trek/Stargate and call it a day.

  2. Deni: So sorry but you could celebrate this weekend instead.

    Fingers crossed on the projects Spider.

    P.S. Don’t call the gorgeous girl names!!! She might stop cooking for you. 😉

  3. I wear glasses and have a pair of sunglasses like Akemi’s that go over them. You’re lucky Akemi don’t wallop you on your head, spider boy. Leave her alone. She is beautiful and beautiful people can wear anything they want.

  4. @Joe:

    Do clip-ons count as “6 eyes” or just full frame glasses? If they do count, maybe I’ll start calling myself “hexavideo”. 😉

    As for nick names go, I never really had one that stuck. Jeff is not an easy name to rhyme with, so I was spared the usual childhood taunts. One kid tried “Jeff the Peth” which was so sad he gave up the instant he said it. The closest I came was one co-worker who dubbed me “the Answer Man” because I just happened to have the answers to odd bits of trivia he would talk about, but no one else picked it up, so I wasn’t really known by that moniker.

    Now that I think about it, maybe I should be the “Cheesecake Man”?

    Well, I just landed at O’hare (after taxiing around the airport for 45-minutes due to the gate being occupied). I then got picked up by my shuttle driver and then ran into two different backups on the way home…welcome to Chicago!


    What flavor cheesecake would you like?

  5. @Tam: We finally got dinner, I ate waaaay too much, but it’s fine, no worries!

    Trying to adopt the doggie I picked up in Savannah a couple of months ago, he’s still at the rescue place. He’s been going to the pet adoption weekends at Petsmart every weekend and nobody has wanted him. He saw me last Sunday and about peed himself with happiness, so I walked out of there in tears. He has some dog aggression issues which will need to be addressed, so keep your fingers crossed for us! Right now, we’re hoping for slow introductions with a volunteer from the rescue over a couple of weeks, we’ll see. 🙂

  6. Why don’t you spring for a pair of transistions lenses for Akemi, then she will only need one pair of glasses. I have a pair and they are awesome when I walk with my son because they quickly transition to the sun glasses look. I don’t have to change my glasses from one to the other and risk losing a pair.

    My grandfather was a surgeon, so he was very up on his latin. Since I was named after my Aunt Pat, my grandfather kept calling me Pat Secundus or Pat the Second. Which is why, to this day, I prefer being called Patricia. Your nicknames were better.

  7. The Spider would make an awesome supervillain name.

    My kid pic will probably have to wait until tomorrow – by tomorrow I’ll be off on some leave (again!) and then it will be smooooth sailing! (There, I said it!)

  8. @ if one of these projects in development doesn’t get greenlit before year’s end, I’m going to give The Spider a go.

    Sounds like you’re eager to get started on the TV show stuff. Seriously though, if you get the greenlight on any of your projects, you should reward yourself Joe, for the effort you’ve made, and for having to deal with the long running saga of getting your stuff off the ground 🙂

  9. You…you don’t like ‘Joey’? 🙁 But, but, but…it’s a term of endearment. 🙁 Joe is too hard and cold and ordinary. YoYo is just…ya know…goofy. And Spider? Yeah…okay…with gangling limbs like that you could pass for a creepy crawly, but Italians spiders have hairy legs and all those eyes and…have you ever read up on the mating practices of spiders?

    Spiders reproduce sexually, however the male’s sperm is not inserted into the female’s body from within the male’s genitals. Rather an intermediate stage takes place. Males ejaculate onto ready-made small sperm webs and then transfer their sperm to syringe-like structures on the tips of their front appendages, or palps. As courtship progresses for the male jumping spider, he will arch his body, vibrate his palps and slink on tiptoe toward the female. If courtship is successful, the male injects his sperm from his palps into the female’s genital opening, known as the epigyne, on the underside of her abdomen.


    Now, would you rather be a sexually deviant spider, or a cheek-pinchable Joey? 😉 (On second thought, you better not answer that one in public. 😉 )


  10. I didn’t really have nicknames. I was the child from hell. When not using my name, my siblings called me profanity words. Once I wrote on my bedroom door “DO NOT DISTURB! DLM” (my initials) to which my oldest sister added “damned little monster”. But my nephew’s name is Christopher Wayne and his little sister called him “critter wayne” which we used until he graduated college and began teaching and refused to acknowledge it any longer. I still quite like it. My mother’s sister she nicknamed Pop (due to her love of pop sickles). I wasn’t even a teen when Aunt Evelyn told us we could call her Evelyn or Aunt Evelyn but the Pop had to go. :)I guess 40 some odd years was all she could take.

  11. Happy Anniversay, Deni! Sorry the anniversary dinner didn’t go so well, Deni. I’m with Tam: celebrate this weekend instead.

    Hoping for the best on those projects, Joe!

    I haven’t figured out how to make my new printer/scanner thingie work so I can’t give you any embarrassing pictures. You’ll have to settle for “too cute”.: http://s294.photobucket.com/user/Sparrow_hawk_wdc/media/EileenandArlene1956_zps7b2c026f.jpg.html?filters%5Buser%5D=68774841&filters%5Brecent%5D=1&sort=1&o=0 That’s me at age 2 at somebody’s wedding. Probably at the American Legion Hall..

  12. I like Spider! It’s a good nickname. I had pretty goofy nicknames. Most of them require explanations, but, well – you sorta had to be there.

  13. The Spider has a nice ring to it. You should definitely give it a go. I would think people would be more likely to give a green light to projects from The Spider or even Spider Mallozzi.

    I’ve had quite a few nicknames over the years – various people in my family call me Ju ju , jewel, jules, ju, j and I had a group of ladies I worked that called me barbie.

  14. Thanks everyone for posting pictures. It’s been fun to see you all.

    I didn’t even notice Akemi had six eyes until you mentioned it. Not everybody can carry off that look. 🙂

    Sorry about the anniversary dinner. 🙁

  15. I’ve never managed to pick up a nickname. A co-worker use to call me Smiley because, she said, I was always smiling. Or maybe she was just flirting with me . . . I can never tell!

    My online name has been Line Noise since 1989.

    I’m trying to figure out what a “non-genre” series would be. The only thing I can come up with is “soap opera” . . . or is that a genre too? Can you give us some examples of non-genre shows?

  16. @Deni: Good luck!

    Joe, Spider could be a double edged sword. It also brings to mind Michael Imperioli’s unfortunate bartender from Goodfellas. Before you know it, you’ll be fetching drinks and getting shot by Joe Pesci.

  17. With ” tous ces marrons sur le feu” waiting for just a little bit of something to begin:


    Just kidding, I wish you a lot of good news soon !

  18. Okay, so I’ve uploaded some (slightly) embarrassing photos from my childhood. The really embarrassing ones are near the end. I didn’t get to this sooner because of my travel this week…

    This is me “riding” a Texaco Toy Truck, which I don’t think was ever intended to be ridden, but 1970’s toys stood up well (age 5):


    And this is me when I learned to swim at a neighborhood pool (age 5). I’m the toe-headed kid on the left (did the “Whale Speedos” give it away?)


    And at the Jessup House in ’72 (age 7). I was apparently a happy kid:


    Christmas 1972. My mother had a “thing” for striped trousers. To me, it looked like I was wearing recycled couch covers (maybe I was?) I still have the train; we run it under the tree every Christmas:


    Fashions in the ’70’s were weird. This was 1974 (where the weirdness was at it’s peak). Maybe I was going for the “Lumberjack Pimp” look?


    And do you remember the long-hair fads of the ’70’s (Leaf Garrett, the Bee Gees, et cetera)? I succumbed to that as well (1976 – age 11). At least I had hair (which I don’t now):


    Christmas 1977 (age 12). Who remembers Space 1999?


    The “long hair” look continued until a substitute teacher referred to me as “little girl”. I had it cut the next day!

  19. @JeffW: Plain cheesecake with strawberries and I’m a happy woman. 🙂 I little chocolate ganache on the side and it’s Nirvana. 🙂

    @Sparrow: Thank you! With my daughter and grandson living with us, it’s incredibly hectic around here, so right now, I consider myself lucky we got to eat last night somewhere in between lowering the crib (he tried to climb out already), the mountains of baby laundry and the dogs underfoot! Wouldn’t trade it for the world, though! That said, can’t wait for Chicago in a couple of weeks! 😉

    @Tam: Hubby has to work all weekend. 🙁

  20. As a kid growing up my family and close friends would called me Bug. My father and brother claim it was because I was a pest, but my mother states it was because I was so lovable. The name has stuck with me and now my adorable neice and nephew call me BugBug. I love it. The nick name has also been handed down to my best friend from high schools daughter. Sadly my parents are in postion of all my childhood photos, so perhaps this week-end i can grab one.

  21. If I remember correctly there used to be an Associate Producer on ‘NEWSRADIO’ who used the name “Spider” ..I think they talked about it on the dvd commentary and his name showed up as Spider on some of the credits.

  22. @JeffW: You got an Eagle lander for Christmas!? COOL! I always wanted one of those. (Um, still kind of do.)

    @das: Not to mention that after mating, the female spider tends to eat the male. AWK-WARD.

  23. @ JeffW – Ordered!! And thanks – that looks great! 😀

    Also, from now on I’m callin’ ya L-Jack Pimp. 😀

    (Love everyone’s pictures, btw! Must find time to dig up something!)


  24. @das: TMI on the spiders.
    @JeffW: Awww… cute pictures!
    @Deni: I’m glad you finally got your dinner!
    @Joe, re Akemi’s double glasses: I’ve been looking for a pair of large wraparound sunglasses like that, so i can wear them over my regular glasses!

  25. @Das:

    I’ve just ordered the two follow on books in the series, so I may need to skim the first one again since it’s been awhile since I read it. Let me know what you think.

    – The L’jack Pimp 😉


    I have no idea were that lander ended up. Considering my teenage years, I may have stuffed model rocket engines into it and launched it somewhere…I honestly can’t remember. It’s probably worth a fair penny now.


    Thanks! At least I was cute at some point in my life! 😉

  26. @JeffW: Great pictures and my admiration of your dating and remembrance of events. Ah, I remember the fashion of the 70’s. Did you notice your shirt and pants in one picture matched the color of appliances in the 70’s? :p 😀

  27. I used to call my brother Mikey (normally called Michael by everyone) after that Life cereal commercial, he HATED it, and I would also quote the commercial to him. I actually still do it… Yup I’m a total pain in the ass…


    My Mom has all the pictures and she won’t give them up for some reason.


  28. My name on this blog is an actual nickname, given to me by my friend Larry, who was a grad film student at USC when I was an undergrad. I worked as a PA on his student film, and we were coworkers at the video production facility on campus. Since we both worked at the video place and his film was about TV production (TV news, specifically), the name “Kathode” (as in the cathode ray tube in a television set) came to him as the perfect nickname for me. (My name is Kathy). Once he started calling me that, the entire crew (also grad film students) picked it up, and it became my nickname among that crowd ever afterwards. I’ve also been dubbed Kat and Kate, along with Luke (which is a shortened version of my last name).

  29. You’ll have to use Spyder because any name with Spider makes me experience PTSD-like symptoms. Remember my arm? I have good reason to hate spiders.

    My younger half-brother used to call me “id-da” (he could not pronounced Hilda). Nicknames growing up included Hurricane Hilda, Broom Hilda (as in the comic strip), HiC (it’s good fun–Hi the first two initials in my first name and C the first initial in my maiden name). My best friend calls me honey bunch. I call her “darlin’ My maiden name was Clark, so I was also called Clark Bar (as in the candy bar–at least it is a sweet thing). My foster brother was a fourth-generation Joseph and he was called Jody growing up. I tried to respect his wishes to call him Joe as an adult, but it was difficult. There have been a few people who have called Patrick “Pat” or “Patty” and I quickly correct them to Patrick. It was agreed with my husband we would never call him that because of the skit “It’s Pat” on Saturday Night Live.

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