Watching X-Men: First Class like dating smart, beautiful she-monster who be fantastik company - until she drink too much, start rambling, talk about her ex, linger over espresso, and leave you wishing date could have ended sometime after dessert and before she vomit in your cabriolet. Disappointing because movie start off VERY strong but, sadly,…
May 13, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Thor!
Dis movie slower den Snuffleupagus backing up. It take longer to get going den Grover de morning after Furries Night at Ye Olde Sesame Street Pub. Movie begin in 965 AD when Odin, King of Asgard, defeat army of Frost Giants and save de nine realms (Earth, Middle Earth, Lower Earth, Ringworld, Narnia, Neverland, Westeros,…
May 3, 2013: Reading, Watching, Answering!
In early March of this year, I started a quest for my new favorite show by listing eight promising candidates (March 2, 2013: Help me choose my new favorite show!), shows I'd heard great things about but had yet to check out, and asking you all to weigh in with your thoughts. Well, two months later,…
April 16, 2013: Dark Matter developments! Mailbag! My dog eating kale chips!
First things first! My french bulldog, Lulu, eating kale chips. Please raise volume to maximum before viewing: One of the worst kept secrets on this blog has been the identity of that scifi series Paul and I have been trying to set up. As many of you know, back when we were working on Stargate,…
April 15, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Iron Man 2!
Monster like to rate sekwels on what me call de Sliding Celebrity Sibling Scale. It start at Clint Howard and go all de way up to Mark Wahlberg. Given how much me enjoy first Iron Man, me expect Iron Man 2 to be a real Stephen Baldwin. But it surpass monster's expektations and, initially, me…
April 1, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Kick-Ass! Goa’uld-related news!
Dis film be filled wit violence, torture, and a little girl charakter more potty-mouthed den Grover dat time he developed "chemikal burns" on his blueberries after jacuzzi party wit Madonna. It be a terruble, TERRUBLE movie for kids. But a super, FANTASTIK movie for monster. Me loved it! Kick Ass ask de qwestion: What if?…
March 25, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews X-Men Origins: Wolverine!
Noooooooooooooooo! BIRDSEYE VIEW of monster on knees, head trown back, staring up at de sky in anguish while me scream: Nooooooooooooooooo! DAT pretty much sum up monster's review of dis movie. Me know, me know. Why would monster use such a hackneyed and cliched camera shot to sum up X-Men Origins: Wolverine? Well, read on...…
March 18, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Watchmen!
Who watches de Watchmen? Well, Monster for one. All 3+ hours of direktor's cut. It longer den a superbowl halftime show and inklude raspy-voice narration dat, at first, gimme flashback to craptakular Spirit - BUT, ultimately, monster like dis movie. A lot. It be smart, engaging, and thought-provoking. For instance, scene where Nite Owl and…
March 11, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Spirit!
Watching The Spirit be like being trapped in elevator wit chatty, pompous - albeit well-dressed - douchebag suffering from explosive diarrhea. For 90+ excruciating minutes. Forget waterboarding; dis film be worser cruel and inhuman punishment. By de point where Samuel L. Jackson strut onto stage in gestapo Nazi regalia to deliver arch, long-winded speech, me…
March 9, 2013: Recommended Reads!
I am what my old college professor used to refer to as "a voracious reader". I read A LOT - anytime, anywhere - usually for a couple of hours every night before going to sleep but, occasionally, while I'm waiting for appointments or for my significant other to finish shopping or for the traffic light…
March 4, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Dark Knight!
Tree tings monster hate most in dis world: injustice, poverty, and movies dat run more den two hours. Unless film be based on musty Russian novel, it have no business being so long. Seriously! Your movie be about a guy running around town in a cape punching people. It not exaktly Anna Carnita or Dr.…
February 25, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Hellboy II: The Golden Army!
Monster pleasantly surprised by first Hellboy so, of course, me expeckt less of de same from de sekwel becuz, after all, it be a sewkwel. Remember Hangover II? Blues Brothers 2000? Citizen Kane II: The Quickening? But Hellboy II: The Golden Army out-surprise de first Hellboy. It a movie wit even more heart, even more…
February 11, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Incredible Hulk (2008)!
This movie be improvement over first Hulk film de way a bad cold be improvement over Type A influenza. In retrospekt, you not want to subject yourself to either but, hey, in dis case beggars Supermovie of de Week Club reviewers can't be choosers. Still, whereas first movie be uniformly stoopid-ridikulous throughout, dis Hulk movie start…
February 4, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Iron Man!
Monster not want to sound sexist, but Iron Man be waaaaay more fun and exciting den sekwel Iron Lady. Movie open on rich industrialist playboy Tony Stark, a guy who be seeing more girly action den Kermit during his Muppet Show days! But during grand tour of Afghanistan, his military convoy attacked (see, dis why…
January 23, 2012: Blog Hopping Dark Matter!
A few weeks ago, I was invited to take part in The Next Big Thing blog hop. And what, pray tell, is a "The Next Big Thing blog hop"? Well, it involves me answering a set of ten questions on a recent or upcoming release on this blog, and then forwarding the same questions to…