Wowee! Watching dis movie like eating an Oreo after a steady diet of Grover's moms "half de sugar" shortbread cookies (taste like dry sadness). Finally, a superhero film made by people not embarrassed to be making a superhero film. X-Men is true to de comic book, respektful of source material, and touch on adult themes…
July 30, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club Reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Mystery Men!
Awesome! Fantastic! Amazing! All words monster use to describe The Mystery Men. Soundtrack. Some terrific tunes in dis movie. Terrific! On de other hand, words monster use to describe de aktual movie = Meh. Okay. And Didn't-make-monster's-eyeballs-bleed-so-dere's-dat. Movie offer promising premise of second tier superheroes who always being upstaged by top-tier hero, Captain Amazing. But…
July 9, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club Reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Spawn!
Ever have it when you need to write skript for movie, but tings are going slow so you invite Count and Big Bird to your place for drinks but you do too many jagermeister shots and one of girlz Count bring wit him slip roofie into your beer chaser and you wake up next morning…
July 2, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club Reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Batman and Robin!
Batmand and Robin be de filmic equivalent of explosive garden vegetable diarrhea. Exciting, sometime pretty to look at, but it still crap. Dis movie be Joel Schumacher's master piece (of shit). Terruble on almost every level. Movie begin wit Schumacher's patented codpiece and rubber ass shots. It den seque into one of de worst aktion…
June 18, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie!
Most superhero movies me have reviewed so far make monster so angry he want to go back to video store and punch and slap around employee, den kick him in the de grapes. But dis not de case wit Mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie. Instead, me just want to go back and punch and slap.…
June 11, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Batman Forever!
Batman Forever. Well, at almost two hours running time, it sure feel dat way. After box office suckcess of first two Batman movies, studio reward Tim Burton by replacing him as direktor and changing tone of franchise to make it less dark and more kid friendly. Result is movie about as stoopid as Batman Returns…
June 4, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Shadow!
Who knows what evil lurk in de hearts of men? De Shadow knows! How he know? Search monster. Me having hard enough time trying to make sense of dis movie. De Shadow remind monster of De Rocketeer. Both great-looking period movies with terrifik costumes and set dezign. But while Rocketeer skript flat and simple ,…
May 21, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Blankman!
Calling dis movie "a comedy" be like calling orange soda "juice". Blankman aktually offer less den 5% of de daily rekommended serving of laffs. It start promising enuf, den go downhill faster den a carob birtday cake delivery truck wit no brakes. Or a movie written by a ten year old - which me suspekt…
May 15, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club Reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Meteor Man!
Meteor Man written and directed by Robert Townsend. To be honest, me prefer his Chinatown. Still, monster surprized me not hate dis movie. Sure, it all sortz of stoopid and itz hero as interesting as a deli sandwitch named after David Caruso, but it not all bad. Only mostly bad. After opening theme muzik dat…
May 7, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Batman Returns!
Batman Returns remind monster of solid gold eggz Big Bird get by mail order. Nice to look at but empty and when send complaint, company stop taking your callz and it all end wit director filing restraning order against you. Dis movie also like Grover at prom nite. All style, no substance, some pleather, and…
May 1, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Rocketeer!
Zzzzzz. Snort. Hunh? Me awake! Sorry. Monster up all night trying to finish Rocketeer for todayz review. Movie is trowback to old cereals from de 30's and 40's your grandpa used to love. Of course dis be same guy who can watch construction AAAALL AFTERNOON so dat not saying much. At times, Rocketeer capture dat…
April 16, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club Reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Darkman!
In his most understated performance since role of Rob Roy in movie me can't remember name of, Liam Neeson play part of brilliant doctor who invent sintetic skin (lucky :)) but not having much success perfekting formula (unlucky :() but have beautiful girlfriend (lucky :)) who about to blow whistle on her crooked boss (unlucky…
April 9, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!
Hoo boy. Take one good idea wit promise, sell out and make it for kiddiez to cash in on merchandizing potenshul, den make movie about it but don't bother paying for decent script. Just trow together any old lazy ideas, some lame jokes and dubbing, and voila - you have Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a…
April 2, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Punisher (1989)!
Monster really looking forward to not seeing dis movie. So looking forward, in fakt, dat me make planz to visit Wildwood New Jerzey for jellyfish mating seazon instead. Joe accuze monster of not trying hard enuf to find movie, but iz not true. Me look everywhere for it! Even check out speshulty video store dat…
March 12, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club Reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Supergirl!
Blargh! Supergirl most nauzeating movie since Big Bird sex tape released online. It so bad it aktually make monster miss Condorman. It was so terruble dat aktor Christopher Reeve refuse to do cameo. And he do Superman II AND III! Movie start on Argos City where survivors of Kripton walk around in wishy washy dresses…