Tree tings monster hate most in dis world: injustice, poverty, and movies dat run more den two hours. Unless film be based on musty Russian novel, it have no business being so long. Seriously! Your movie be about a guy running around town in a cape punching people. It not exaktly Anna Carnita or Dr.…
February 25, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Hellboy II: The Golden Army!
Monster pleasantly surprised by first Hellboy so, of course, me expeckt less of de same from de sekwel becuz, after all, it be a sewkwel. Remember Hangover II? Blues Brothers 2000? Citizen Kane II: The Quickening? But Hellboy II: The Golden Army out-surprise de first Hellboy. It a movie wit even more heart, even more…
February 11, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Incredible Hulk (2008)!
This movie be improvement over first Hulk film de way a bad cold be improvement over Type A influenza. In retrospekt, you not want to subject yourself to either but, hey, in dis case beggars Supermovie of de Week Club reviewers can't be choosers. Still, whereas first movie be uniformly stoopid-ridikulous throughout, dis Hulk movie start…
February 4, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Iron Man!
Monster not want to sound sexist, but Iron Man be waaaaay more fun and exciting den sekwel Iron Lady. Movie open on rich industrialist playboy Tony Stark, a guy who be seeing more girly action den Kermit during his Muppet Show days! But during grand tour of Afghanistan, his military convoy attacked (see, dis why…
January 23, 2012: Blog Hopping Dark Matter!
A few weeks ago, I was invited to take part in The Next Big Thing blog hop. And what, pray tell, is a "The Next Big Thing blog hop"? Well, it involves me answering a set of ten questions on a recent or upcoming release on this blog, and then forwarding the same questions to…
January 17, 2013: Stargate Q&A! Blog Hop! Introducing Fernando!
Hurrah! I'm pleased to announce a new Stargate-related Q&A! Mark Nicholson joined the franchise in SG-1's tenth season (Atlantis's third) and worked BEHIND the scenes, helping to build a lot of the amazing things you saw IN the scenes. He was with us until the very end, Universe's last episode, and, along the way, his…
January 14, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer!
Benign and inoffensive. Dat pretty much sum up dis movie. On de one hand, it not sink to craptastic lows of first FF movie; on de other hand, it never quite reach de lofty heights of mediocrity either. Reed Richards and Sue Storm be in love and want to get married. Meanwhile, silver alien on…
January 7, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Spiderman 3!
As rule of thumb, you know you in for crappy viewing experience when SUPERHERO movie you watching kick off wit MUSIKAL NUMBER. Let just say dat, after sitting thru rest of dis film, monster wasn't any Less Miserables. Whew! Dis movie be messier den Snuffalufagus eating Cantonese chow mein. It meander and hopscotch from one…
December 17, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Lightspeed!
Dis movie suck more den Grover's aunt Tildy at a Shriner's convention. Movie begin wit guy walking down a dark alley where he encounter shaky creep hiding under dirty blanket. To most sane people, dis be invitation to skedaddle. But not dis guy. He stand and watch as - in movie's most horrifying sequence -…
December 10, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews My Super Ex-Girlfriend!
Dis movie reminiscent of monster's ex-girlfriend, Mona Hildeberger. One time, she get so mad after me use dishwasher to dry socks dat she spike monster's L'Oreal shampoo wit Nair hair remover. For two months while wait for fur to grow back, me kept getting mistaken for member of Blue Man Group. Very unpleasant memories. Fortunately,…
November 26, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews X-Men: The Last Stand!
On de one hand, dis movie not as good as de original or sekwel. On de other hand, it not make monster want to vomit, kick in his t.v., or punch someone in de nards. Movie pick up where last one left off. Jean Grey be dead and X-Men be in mourning. Cue cornball cliche…
November 12, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Fantastic Four (2205)!
Okay, yes, dis be garbage movie but viewer have to keep in mind dat it made in 1994 by schlock producer Roger Corman for miniscule budget and film never meant to be released...Wait. What? Dis NOT de Roger Corman crapfest but de 2005 $100 million budget version? Are you sure? Hmmm. Monster just checked and…
October 22, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Batman Begins!
Batman Begins fantastik but END just better den average. Direktor Christopher Nolan use Richard Donner Superman as a guide and, strukturally, both movies very similar wit strong, backstory-rich, character-driven first halves dat eventually give way to typikal nonsensical-actiony back halves. Direktion and cinematography are brilliant while akting and writing are good - for de most part.…
October 9, 2012: In which the author recommends stuff!
You know what's even better than discovering a terrific new book? Discovering a terrific new author. All too often, I've come across books I've enjoyed only to be disappointed by subsequent works by the same author. Not so with Jeffrey Ford, one of the most imaginative and consistently entertaining writers out there. Several years ago,…
October 8, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Elektra!
Dis movie as confused as monster at Grover's bris after me down four shooters, tree oatmeal cookies (de drink, not de cookie), and six oatmeal cookies (de cookies, not de drink). But me not de only one confused dat night. Turn out whole party giant misunderstanding. Girlfriend tired of Grover being taken advantage of by…