Hey, you know what movie NOT needed a remake? Spiderman. De original had fun, humor, a great origin story, and a colorful, nuanced villain in Norman Osbore/Green Goblin. Dis new, improved (?) version have half de fun, hardly any of de humor, a not as interesting origin story, and a one-note villain in Curt Connors/Lizard.…
June 24, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Avengers!
Dis movie have everyting you would expekt from a summer blockbuster. Humor! Fun! Action! Dazzling speshul effekts! Cracking dialogue! Overlong running time! And some developments dat not make sense - but be pretty cool anyway. Movie begin at top secret S.H.I.E.L.D. facility where scientists studying glowy box very similar to one we saw in Captain…
June 23, 2013: My Top 10 Worst Comic Book Supervillain Costumes! And one for good luck!
In no particular order... CAPTAIN BOOMERANG He dresses like an Australian flight attendant. FISHERMAN Okay, granted, he must do more than his fair share of wading, but those hip boots are NOT flattering. Is that a bathing cap? PASTE POT PETE (aka THE TRAPSTER) Nice chapeau. Presumably, the gang at Marvel got fed up of…
June 10, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Captain America: The First Avenger!
No offense to Captain America but, technically, wasn't Thor de "First Avenger"? Dis de first qwestion dat cross monster's mind, followed by "Dis entire movie a period piece?" and "Did me forget to buy cake mix for Grover's potluck supper next Toosday?". Monster sit down to watch Captain America wit an open mind and, while…
May 27, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Green Lantern!
What if Deadpool became Green Lantern? Dis seem to be de qwestion dis movie try to answer. Unlike it's more ambitious predecessors, Green Lantern aspire to be little more den a quasi-entertaining kids movie. And it aktually succeed, offering a uncomplikated story devoid of riveting drama or charakters but also free of de stoopid plot…
May 20, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews X-Men: First Class!
Watching X-Men: First Class like dating smart, beautiful she-monster who be fantastik company - until she drink too much, start rambling, talk about her ex, linger over espresso, and leave you wishing date could have ended sometime after dessert and before she vomit in your cabriolet. Disappointing because movie start off VERY strong but, sadly,…
May 13, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Thor!
Dis movie slower den Snuffleupagus backing up. It take longer to get going den Grover de morning after Furries Night at Ye Olde Sesame Street Pub. Movie begin in 965 AD when Odin, King of Asgard, defeat army of Frost Giants and save de nine realms (Earth, Middle Earth, Lower Earth, Ringworld, Narnia, Neverland, Westeros,…
May 3, 2013: Reading, Watching, Answering!
In early March of this year, I started a quest for my new favorite show by listing eight promising candidates (March 2, 2013: Help me choose my new favorite show!), shows I'd heard great things about but had yet to check out, and asking you all to weigh in with your thoughts. Well, two months later,…
April 16, 2013: Dark Matter developments! Mailbag! My dog eating kale chips!
First things first! My french bulldog, Lulu, eating kale chips. Please raise volume to maximum before viewing: One of the worst kept secrets on this blog has been the identity of that scifi series Paul and I have been trying to set up. As many of you know, back when we were working on Stargate,…
April 15, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Iron Man 2!
Monster like to rate sekwels on what me call de Sliding Celebrity Sibling Scale. It start at Clint Howard and go all de way up to Mark Wahlberg. Given how much me enjoy first Iron Man, me expect Iron Man 2 to be a real Stephen Baldwin. But it surpass monster's expektations and, initially, me…
April 1, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Kick-Ass! Goa’uld-related news!
Dis film be filled wit violence, torture, and a little girl charakter more potty-mouthed den Grover dat time he developed "chemikal burns" on his blueberries after jacuzzi party wit Madonna. It be a terruble, TERRUBLE movie for kids. But a super, FANTASTIK movie for monster. Me loved it! Kick Ass ask de qwestion: What if?…
March 25, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews X-Men Origins: Wolverine!
Noooooooooooooooo! BIRDSEYE VIEW of monster on knees, head trown back, staring up at de sky in anguish while me scream: Nooooooooooooooooo! DAT pretty much sum up monster's review of dis movie. Me know, me know. Why would monster use such a hackneyed and cliched camera shot to sum up X-Men Origins: Wolverine? Well, read on...…
March 18, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Watchmen!
Who watches de Watchmen? Well, Monster for one. All 3+ hours of direktor's cut. It longer den a superbowl halftime show and inklude raspy-voice narration dat, at first, gimme flashback to craptakular Spirit - BUT, ultimately, monster like dis movie. A lot. It be smart, engaging, and thought-provoking. For instance, scene where Nite Owl and…
March 11, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Spirit!
Watching The Spirit be like being trapped in elevator wit chatty, pompous - albeit well-dressed - douchebag suffering from explosive diarrhea. For 90+ excruciating minutes. Forget waterboarding; dis film be worser cruel and inhuman punishment. By de point where Samuel L. Jackson strut onto stage in gestapo Nazi regalia to deliver arch, long-winded speech, me…
March 9, 2013: Recommended Reads!
I am what my old college professor used to refer to as "a voracious reader". I read A LOT - anytime, anywhere - usually for a couple of hours every night before going to sleep but, occasionally, while I'm waiting for appointments or for my significant other to finish shopping or for the traffic light…