1

Dis movie reminiscent of monster’s ex-girlfriend, Mona Hildeberger. One time, she get so mad after me use dishwasher to dry socks dat she spike monster’s L’Oreal shampoo wit Nair hair remover.  For two months while wait for fur to grow back, me kept getting mistaken for member of Blue Man Group.  Very unpleasant memories.

Fortunately, dis movie not so unpleasant at all.  It never fully realize its potenshul, but it still solid wit nice fun bits.  Just like Mona Hildeberger.

Jenny
Beware of hot nerds!

Matt just be a regular, shy office guy who looking for a woman to love. He tink he find her in Jenny Johnson, a seksy nerd he meet on de subway.  She seems very sweet – but awkward and distrakted.  And, it turn out, for good reason.  Becuz nerdy Jenny Johnson really a seksy superhero called G-Girl!

G-Girl
Beware of seksy superheroes!

She take him flying.  She break his bed trying to bang him.  Life be pretty good for Matt.

Mile High Club
Perks of dating a superhero = no traffik!

UNTIL tings start to get weird.  Problem #1: he kidnapped and roughed up by G-Girl’s arch-nemesis, Professor Bedlam, played by de always awesome Eddie Izzard.  Apparently, he old high school friend of Jenny’s and still sekretly in love wit her (and VERY jealous of Matt). But dis pale in comparison to problem #2: Jenny be a crazy woman!  She super alright.  Super jealous and super unstable!

Crazy ex
Nuts!  Insane!  Bonzo!  No longer in possession of one’s fakulties!  Tree fries short of a Happy Meal!  Waaaackooo!

Matt’s super ex-girlfriend make his life a living hell.  She tear up his apartment.  Tosses his car into orbit.  And, in one partikularly inspired scene, she trow a shark at him after he hook up wit girl from his office!

Oh
“Just kidding about de whole break-up tiing…”

Matt be super-screwed.  But salvation come from a most unlikely source = Professor Bedlam who, now in possession of super power-leeching meteor, need Matt’s help to set up G-Girl.  And poor, harassed Matt only to happy to oblige.

x
Super super-villain!

Matt profess his love for Jenny/G-Girl and convince her to join her at his place.  Everyting going according to plan until – girl from his office show up.  All sorts of awkward!  G-Girl about to beat crap out of Matt when – Dwight from De Office show up and open gift box containing meteor.  G-Girl lose her powers.  At which point Professor Bedlam show up!  Chaos!  Meteor blows and return superpowers to G-Girl!  But office girl get super powers too!  Super catfight ensue!

Who win?  G-Girl?  Office Girl?  Neither.  Love conquer all!  Professor Bedlam profess his love for G-Girl!  And Matt get himself a new super girlfriend in Office Girl!

Verdikt: It great to see a woman in dominant role.  Monster like dis. Grover like dis too but in completely different scenario me not comfortable talking about here.

Rating: 7 chocolate chippee cookies.

Cookie Monster’s previous movie reviews can be found here: Film reviews by resident film criti…

20 thoughts on “December 10, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews My Super Ex-Girlfriend!

  1. Oh, Cookie. I think you may have been partaking perhaps a bit too much of the seasonal nog, to give this movie such a tolerant review. I remember when I first saw this movie that I thought it was at best kind of annoying. Now, in the perspective of the other movies that we’ve watched, I found it awful. Perhaps it’s just bad movie fatigue.

    So, all in all this movie is about what would happen is you had a crazy, ex-girlfriend stalker who had superpowers so she could continually make your life hell even more than a normal crazy, ex-girlfriend stalker would. Because with emotionally and physically abusive relationships, the laughs take care of themselves! Good thing too, because the writers sure weren’t going to take care of them.

    Oh my, the dialogue. It’s says a lot when the first line of the movie, in response to a most desired superpower, is “The ability to blow myself”. Some kind of meta-commentary? I don’t know. On seeing G-Girl’s semi-nude bod, Matt says: “That’s what I call structural integrity!” Who is he, Geordi LaForge? And, “I’d rather have a chainsaw shoved up my ass than tell”? Funny, that’s they way I felt, if you replace “than tell” with “watch the rest of this movie”. The whole “wait right here” exchange at Bedlam’s house? Pointlessly stupid.

    When Matt and Vaughn are discussing what the “G” in G-Girl stood for, Matt suggests “Gforce”. Don’t even go there, bitchez!

    Oh, some other stuff:

    Why does Luke Wilson always look like he’s got too many teeth?

    How does the whole mid-air sex thing work? What’s holding him up? (so to speak.) This is the same problem I had with Superman/Lois Lane. I mean with the flying, not the mid-air sex, because I don’t think they did that. (Well, maybe they did – he is faster than a speeding bullet, after all.)

    So, the meteor is basically a type of rock that nullifies her powers. That sounds vaguely familiar.

    Did you notice during the Super Cat Fight, that Hanna was thrown directly through her ex-boyfriend Steve’s Joe Boxer billboard right at his crotch? I think that was supposed to be funny. I guess…

    Wait, where did the missle come from again? And why DIDN’T the Air Force take care of it? There wasn’t time? I did rather like the matter of fact way that the announcer first came on the air with the report, like she was reporting the weather. That actually made me laugh.

    And by the way, http://professorbedlam.com is not currently used (I checked!), so if any of you folks want to do a “My Super Ex-Girlfriend” fan site, go for it!

    Anyway. Maybe I’m just tired and cranky. Or something.

    I give it two Fig Newtons. Stale ones.

  2. I thought the movie had a lot of talent behind it. The story moved along at an entertaining pace. There were clever lines and superb acting and the directing told this story perfectly. That’s almost everything to make a great movie, but the concept was something I couldn’t get past. I’ve just had too many friends recently leave abusive relationships and the abusers all read the same handbook, apparently so does G-girl.

    I had a real problem with the things my friends have lived through, not a shark thrown through a window, but similar parallels of powerlessness and audacious threats where their abuser is protected by greater believability…those things played for laughs.

    So a scene where Matt’s jumpy. It would just remind me when P was jumpy because she was living through the same thing, the constant threat of a rage boiling over into murder. No amount of comedic timing is going to get me to laugh at it.

    From the getting dangerously angry during a drive over unwarranted infidelity accusations then tearfully apologizing to threats to the pet – someone did their research on real things that happen in abusive relationships for this movie, then made jokes out of it.

    The high-flying sex…

    Fine, I’ll take the lack of a “no” as consent at first only because he didn’t know yet how she reacts to objection, but still triggering for people who’ve been put into circumstances where they are not in control.

    Then, when he repeatedly screams “No!” later, was he objecting to the sex or her stunts? Does it matter which? What did his “no” REALLY mean?

    For my friends who have left abusive relationships, this kind of “where did it cross the line?” confusion comes up over and over. It’s not a coincidence. They don’t need to be put through a dubious consent scene that’s played for laughs.

    And I’m not so sure Hannah doesn’t have some boundary-respecting to learn either, but at least he has the history of abuse to keep him from minding so much.

  3. Oh my, I’m two days late replying to your lovely mention of me as the oldest-timer of your blog! Which I take only in the kind way it was intended. I remember it well — six years ago, December 2006, you mentioned you were going to Japan and would keep a blog of your travels and culinary adventures. Hoping you wouldn’t mind, I shared the URL on the Solutions blog (entry here!). From there it was quickly copied, thread title and all, right over to Gateworld. The word was out, and the rest is history! It’s interesting to consider what’s changed in our lives and the world since then. Hard to believe it’s 6 years — maybe seems longer to you since you’ve had the burden of your blogging commitment all this time!

  4. I decided to jump back into the superhero movie pool..

    But agree with gforce on this one: why is an abusive ex-girlfriend who stalks her ex-boyfriend funny? I just didn’t get it. And since much of the plot revolves around this, the movie really dragged for me.

    There were, however, a few positives:

    1. Jenny and Bedlam when they were in school and Jenny getting her superpowers.

    2. Professor Bedlam (Eddie Izzard) was amusing and sort of a sympathetic character for a super villain. But we never really got to see him be a villain, Some of that unrealized potential Cookie mentioned.

    3. The scene in the restaurant was funny. The premise of the missile sneaking up on New York City was kinda dumb, but the interaction between Jenny and what’s his name was entertaining.

    4. The power leaching rock was not original, but I did like that Hanna ended up with superpowers, too. Superpowered Hanna was kinda sweet. She genuinely wanted to help.

    Negatives: pretty much everything else

    Maybe I am the wrong gender to appreciate this movie. I just didn’t find it entertaining. Sorry Cookie, but I agree with the two stale Fig Newton rating. Your mind was fogged by Uma Thurman.

  5. Oh my, I should have known by now that it is not safe to be away for a few days … first congratulations on Akemi’s residential permit, it is such a weight to think you may not be aloud back if you leave isn’t it? It kept me from leaving for 4 years until my case was sorted but I missed so many family milestones. Second many congratulations on your 9/10 million readers. I remember reading your first posts of your visit to Japan but it was a couple of months later before I had the guts to post. Since then it has been a (mostly) daily constant in my life and I have thoroughly enjoyed the journey, so thank you 🙂 I must admit only cookie monster makes me skim them, but assure him it is the lack of my time and not his writing style.
    Akemi’s tree and the dogs look adorable

  6. And this review gets 7 of my HOMEMADE, BLUE-RIBBON-WINNING chocolate-chip cookies when I finally meet you, Cookie.

    (Disclaimer: Blue ribbon was won in early 1970’s; these cookies will be from a much fresher batch.)

  7. Joe, didn’t you also have a blog on Gateworld that predated the Blogger and WordPress accounts? Or was that a link-through to your personal blog? I remember first reading your thoughts there, but I’m not sure whether that was before 2006.

  8. @baterista9

    I remember that one, it was here
    http://www.gateworld.net/blogs/jmallozzi/

    I can understand why he felt that making a blogger/wordpress blog would be better, more control over your content and its more personal. That said Joe did once blog from the 14th Century, he must of borrowed a puddle jumper :P.
    http://www.gateworld.net/blogs/jmallozzi/2005/11/august-26-1346.shtml

    Anyway speaking of Vandread Joe, what a unique series, something never since done in anime, the whole men and women being from different planets, coming into conflict but eventually learning to work together to face a common enemy(Earth), absolutely loved the finale of that, it came together very well, though a lot of the show was just fluff.

    There was going to be a third season of this, but it ended up being scrapped. Shame actually as I found the post apocalyptic Earth coming into conflict with the 2 planets, as they wanted to harvest their organs quite dark.

    They were going to show Hidiki and Dita as parents, pretty much confirming that they ended up together and started a family.

  9. @Cookie:

    I can’t give this as many stars as you do; I had a few annoyances. I found Dwight simply annoying, distracting, and not really funny, and I’ve been around too many unstable people to find all of the craziness amusing. In counter-balance, I liked the somewhat fresh approach to the superhero genre, and found a number of the sight-gags memorable. Overall I’d give it 5 (white) chocolate chip cookies.

    While I was writing this, I’ve been watching the SyFy 20th Anniversary Special. I enjoyed the interviews with Brad and Rob and the rest of the crew, but I’m sitting here wondering why SGA seemed to be short shifted (5 years and it gets one mention?) Also fun interviews with Ben Browder and Claudia Black (on Farscape, not SG-1).

    There was also one moment of tying the “image greater” tag line to inclusion of wrestling which seemed to be a dose of self-justification. Hmmm…I wonder how they’ll wrap this up? Guess I’ll know in about 1/2 an hour.

  10. @ Sparrowhawk – If I’m not mistaken, Mr. Das enjoyed this movie. I do think it might be a gender thing. I couldn’t even bring myself to watch it because for some reason I find Thurman to be very creepy…like she’s looking right through me. She may be the sweetest person on the planet, but on the screen she freaks me the hell out.

    das

  11. Have to say this was Hokey – some typical predictability spots.
    Agree with other commenters about the abusive nature of a spurned love interest, especially given the “usual” victims are the women who “normally” cannot effectively protect themselves from a usually stronger male. There are way too many instances of this type of abuse.

    If we ignore the abuse for a moment – this was kinda funny in the turn about where the guy gets it. There were quite a few moments of – oh, that is too severe, but of course she had all the super powers and could do it.

    BIG secret life and powers – so they are cavorting about and doing things in front of open windows for all to view.

    Silly and contrived, but a bit enjoyable as one of the super hero ….

    Because it was silly, I intended to turn it off and dow work…and ended up watching to the end. So I guess it was not so bad.

    I do like Uma Thurman, but her talents have been wasted in a few movies.

  12. I’m with Jeff regarding the SyFy 20th Anniversary Special, with the exception that I felt ALL of Stargate should have gotten more mention. My proclivities for Stargate aside, let’s face it: Stargate built Sci-Fi.

    It was good to see Amanda, Michael, Chris, Ben and Claudia again. And to finally see Brad & Rob on TV for longer than a few seconds.

  13. While I’m quite happy to watch Uma Thurman in anything this movie just grated on my nerves. While relationships between normals and supers have been done to death I can’t remember the last time this was explored with a female super and male normal (not until they get around to making a Wonder Woman movie, anyway!) so I feel they really missed an opportunity by turning Jenny into a psycho hosebeast.

    Surely they could have toned down the stereotypes a little and actually given us an interesting story?

    Eddie Izzard . . . legend!

  14. @JimFromJersey:

    I concur about SGU. I didn’t mention it above because I was halfway through watching it at the time and they seemed to be doing things in a roughly chronological order; thus I thought they would be coming back to Stargate SGU. In the end the just skipped it (other than Brad’s short comments about it).

    To be honest, I watched it more out of nostalgia and to get a feeling of where the network is going (which seems to be more in an “apocalyptic earth-alien drama” called “Defiance” direction). Given the dark theme (the earth is mostly destroyed) and the emphasis on inter-group drama (from the wiki), I don’t think I’ll be investing the time to watch this one, but time will tell.

  15. I have to admit, I didn’t think Cookie would give such a generous cookie rating. I liked this movie because of the twist. Most superhero’s are always so squeaky clean. G-girl was actually a normal person going through a tough breakup AND she had superpowers. I’ve known a few men that needed a shark thrown at them. 👿

  16. Nice callout to Window of Opportunity! I didn’t know Cookie was a fan….

    Maybe he should review Ark of Truth and Continuum? Or would that create some sort of space-time paradox forcing the universe to implode? In all seriousness, I’d like to hear Cookie’s take on a lot of sci-fi films, I just don’t know what the cut-off would be. Should it be only blockbusters? Only movies that didn’t make their budget back? Only movies that made less than 50 million at the box office? You should draw a line somewhere for him and subject him, ahem, let him review those movies once the superhero stint is done.

    Hadn’t seen My Super Ex-Girlfriend yet. Always wanted to, and now that Cookie approves, I’ll definitely make it happen.

    -Mike A.

  17. Dear Cookie monster
    this is a movie I like to forget I actually own. It had the potential to be actually funny, but somehow, it just doesn’t work, no matter how many talented people it had working on it. You’re being too generous with your cookies. ‘fess up: you have a crush on Uma Thurman?

  18. I was actually surprised at how much I enjoyed this movie. I was expecting it to be totally lame, but it turned out to be kind of cute. Not amazing, mind, but not terrible as I’d been afraid of. It had its moments.

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