June 3, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Vs: All Superheroes Must Die!

Dis less a movie den it be a student film project gone terribly wrong. Poor akting, lame dialogue, weak direktion, and cheap produktion values be de least of it's problems.  No, biggest issue monster have wit Superheroes Must Die be it's unforgivable stoopidity and fakt dat it make about as much sense as Lost in…

May 27, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Green Lantern!

What if Deadpool became Green Lantern?  Dis seem to be de qwestion dis movie try to answer. Unlike it's more ambitious predecessors, Green Lantern aspire to be little more den a quasi-entertaining kids movie.  And it aktually succeed, offering a uncomplikated story devoid of riveting drama or charakters but also free of de stoopid plot…

May 13, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Thor!

Dis movie slower den Snuffleupagus backing up.  It take longer to get going den Grover de morning after Furries Night at Ye Olde Sesame Street Pub. Movie begin in 965 AD when Odin, King of Asgard, defeat army of Frost Giants and save de nine realms (Earth, Middle Earth, Lower Earth, Ringworld, Narnia, Neverland, Westeros,…

May 6, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Megamind!

If you loved The Incredibles, den you won't mind Megamind!  It like a diet version of de former - great-looking and still enjoyable, but wit half de charm, humor, and clever plotting.  It won't fill you up wit needless terrifik memories. Movie get off to fantastik start wit opening sekwence/parody of Superman movie.  Little alien…

April 29, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Green Hornet!

Do you have low expektations?  Are you annoyed by tings like logic and quality?  Are you a cretin?  If you answered yes to any of dese questions, den you may enjoy The Green Hornet. Movie open on Russian gangster who visit club owned by rival.  There, he make rival an offer he can't refuse.  Rival…

April 22, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Super!

Dis movie remind monster of Christmas family dinner.  It sound like a good idea and everybody expekt a good time but, instead, it end up being sad, depressing, and somebody always get hit in de head wit a big wrench. Movie begin wit lovable loser who happily married to woman way out of his league.…

April 15, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Iron Man 2!

Monster like to rate sekwels on what me call de Sliding Celebrity Sibling Scale.  It start at Clint Howard and go all de way up to Mark Wahlberg.  Given how much me enjoy first Iron Man, me expect Iron Man 2 to be a real Stephen Baldwin.  But it surpass monster's expektations and, initially, me…

April 8, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Super Capers!

If nothing else, Super Capers prove dat absolutely anyone can make a movie.  You not need to have a good idea or a good skript or good direktor or good aktors.  Just two million dollars and you too can take creative equivalent of a big, cheesy dump onscreen. Some movies me have reviewed left monster…

April 1, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Kick-Ass! Goa’uld-related news!

Dis film be filled wit violence, torture, and a little girl charakter more potty-mouthed den Grover dat time he developed "chemikal burns" on his blueberries after jacuzzi party wit Madonna.  It be a terruble, TERRUBLE movie for kids. But a super, FANTASTIK movie for monster.  Me loved it! Kick Ass ask de qwestion: What if?…

March 25, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews X-Men Origins: Wolverine!

Noooooooooooooooo!  BIRDSEYE VIEW of monster on knees, head trown back, staring up at de sky in anguish while me scream: Nooooooooooooooooo!  DAT pretty much sum up monster's review of dis movie.  Me know, me know.  Why would monster use such a hackneyed and cliched camera shot to sum up X-Men Origins: Wolverine?  Well, read on...…

March 18, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Watchmen!

Who watches de Watchmen?  Well, Monster for one.  All 3+ hours of direktor's cut.  It longer den a superbowl halftime show and inklude raspy-voice narration dat, at first, gimme flashback to craptakular Spirit - BUT, ultimately, monster like dis movie.  A lot.  It be smart, engaging, and thought-provoking.  For instance, scene where Nite Owl and…

March 11, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Spirit!

Watching The Spirit be like being trapped in elevator wit chatty, pompous - albeit well-dressed - douchebag suffering from explosive diarrhea.  For 90+ excruciating minutes. Forget waterboarding; dis film be worser cruel and inhuman punishment.  By de point where Samuel L. Jackson strut onto stage in gestapo Nazi regalia to deliver arch, long-winded speech, me…

March 4, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Dark Knight!

Tree tings monster hate most in dis world: injustice, poverty, and movies dat run more den two hours.  Unless film be based on musty Russian novel, it have no business being so long.  Seriously!  Your movie be about a guy running around town in a cape punching people. It not exaktly Anna Carnita or Dr.…

February 25, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Hellboy II: The Golden Army!

Monster pleasantly surprised by first Hellboy so, of course, me expeckt less of de same from de sekwel becuz, after all, it be a sewkwel. Remember Hangover II?  Blues Brothers 2000?  Citizen Kane II: The Quickening?  But Hellboy II: The Golden Army out-surprise de first Hellboy.  It a movie wit even more heart, even more…

February 18, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Hancock!

Monster not professional writer so not in position to offer advice to whoever wrote dis movie, but me can't help but feel it obviously a bad idea to change direktion and tone of a skript one hour into its 90 minute running time.  Which be de case wit Hancock. We introduced to our anti-hero, Hancock.…