"Did you miss Santa's helper?"I heard Akemi ask me. "Did I miss Santa's helper?"I asked back. "Did you meet Sam and Andy?"she seemed to say. "Did I meet Sam and Andy?"I echoed back quizzically. "Did you meet Uncle Stansby?"she tried again, the frustration clearly mounting. "Did I meet Uncle Stansby?"I repeated, growing equally weary. "DID…
December 15, 2012: Happy Birthday Aspen!
My sister's husky, Aspen, celebrated his 13th birthday today. It's quite an achievement given the circumstances. The poor boy is battling cancer and has been having a rough time of late. The mass is putting pressure and slowing circulation to one of his paws and causing swelling in his leg. Sis has been bringing him…
December 14, 2012: A strange, sad day
This morning, I dropped off Jelly at the vet hospital for her scheduled ultrasound. She's been prone to bladder infections over the past couple of years and, lately, in the past few weeks, has been having an alarming number of "accidents" in the house. She's going to be fourteen this February so, yes, she is…
December 13, 2012: Miss Shelby’s Hard-Luck Scammer!
Akemi and I had just finished our evening workout and were preparing to take the dogs out for their last backyard bathroom visit of the night when, suddenly, the doorbell rang. My first thought was: "Damn charity canvassers. I'll just ignore them." And then, as the realization dawned, my second thought was: "It's 10:00 p.m.…
December 12, 2012: News of note!
Damn. What do you have to do to get your blog featured on wordpress? Yesterday's entry, December 11, 2012: An Apocalypse Primer!, was perfect Freshly Pressed material! Heads up! http://gizmodo.com/5968007/north-korea-satellite-out-of-control-why-this-is-very-bad-news Planning a vacation? Don't know where to go? Here, let me help by offering you a list of places NOT to go: http://allwomenstalk.com/top-dangerous-places-to-go-on-vacation/. So much for that…
December 11, 2012: An Apocalypse Primer!
With the Apocalypse almost upon us, I thought it might be nice to take some time and offer up a brief overview of the impending global cataclysm so that you can all have a better understanding of exactly what the hell is going on as the world around you comes to its ignoble end. The…
December 10, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews My Super Ex-Girlfriend!
Dis movie reminiscent of monster's ex-girlfriend, Mona Hildeberger. One time, she get so mad after me use dishwasher to dry socks dat she spike monster's L'Oreal shampoo wit Nair hair remover. For two months while wait for fur to grow back, me kept getting mistaken for member of Blue Man Group. Very unpleasant memories. Fortunately,…
December 9, 2012: Snow Dogs!
Well, they would be - IF there was snow on the ground. And IF they were outside braving the elements like those courageous pooches in that Cuba Gooding Jr. movie instead of just parking themselves under the Christmas tree in expectation of a treat. All the same, they're clearly in the holiday spirit - Jelly,…
December 8, 2012: Happy 9000000!
Well, whaddya know. At some point over the last couple of days, sometime when my back was turned, this blog welcomed its 9 millionth view. Thanks for coming! 9 million is actually quite conservative since it doesn't count the first year (or so) of this blog which started on blogger - until their spambots erroneously…
December 7, 2012: Hurray! Akemi is here to stay (as long as she likes)!
Hurrah! After a thirteen month wait (and oodles of paperwork and supporting documentation) we received word today that Akemi's application for permanent residence status here in Canada has finally been approved! There are still some signatures to be gathered and calls to be made but, for all intents and purposes, she is here to stay.…
December 6, 2012: Complain complain complain!
APPLE So I walk into the Apple Store this afternoon and, of course, the place is packed. There are about two dozen "geniuses" having their brilliance tested by roughly four times as many customers. I want to get in and out as quickly as possible so I approach one of the red-shirts (I suspect it's…
December 5, 2012: Culinary creations! Bubba hanging out!
The other day, I received THIS in the mail - No, not the pug. Or the Japanese girlfriend. Or the Japanese girlfriend's Dalmatian slippers [note: no actual dalmatians were hurt in the manufacturing of said slippers]. I refer, of course, to the cookbook - a cookbook chock full o' classic German recipes like gulasch, jagerschnitzel,…
December 4, 2012: Me and the NFL are done!
My 35+ year relationship with the NFL is over. We're done. Sure, we've had our ups and downs - though, realistically, much more of the latter than the former. I've suffered through lock-outs, replacement officials, Michael Vick, the tuck rule. Hell, the Raiders haven't been competitive since Marcus Allen was running the ball. But still…
December 3, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Superman Returns!
Dis movie more boring den Fozzie Bear's off-off-off Broadway production of "Old Coronation Street Episodes". It so bad dat monster invite friends over and invent Superman Returns drinking game. Everytime someone begin to doze off while watching movie, he have to do shot. By end of movie, not sure if Big Bird and Grover pass…
December 2, 2012: Well, that’s that!
Following an improbable come from ahead loss in a week in which my Snow Monkeys put up the SECOND most points in the league, eventually losing the the TOP scoring team in the league, my Monkeys were upset this weekend. The loss, coupled with a win by Steve's Tebow Sucks means my Monkeys are eliminated…