Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog

December 2, 2012: Well, that’s that!

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Kiss the season goodbye
Kiss the season goodbye

Following an improbable come from ahead loss in a week in which my Snow Monkeys put up the SECOND most points in the league, eventually losing the the TOP scoring team in the league, my Monkeys were upset this weekend.  The loss, coupled with a win by Steve’s Tebow Sucks means my Monkeys are eliminated from post-season play.  I am beyond frustrated, angry, and bitter.  So much so that I can’t bear the thought of watching another football game.  I’m done.  On the bright side, Akemi is pleased to hear it since it means my Sundays will be free now.

But, before I sign off on this fantasy football league season, I’d like to take a moment to offer some thanks-for-nothings to the players whose under performances and generally crap play in these final few weeks cost my team a playoff berth.

THANKS-NOTHINGS go out to:

Aaron Rodgers (QB, Green Bay Packers) for NOT ONCE looking James Jones’ way during the Packers’ embarrassingly futile effort against the New York Giants last week.

James Jones (WR, Green Bay Packers) for pulling a disappearing act when I needed him most, putting up a staggering 0.00 effort against the New York Giants last week.

Drew Brees (QB, New Orleans Saints) for delivering the worst statistical performance of his career in a must-win game against the Atlanta Falcons. 5 interceptions.  0 touchdowns.  Way to want it.

Andy Dalton (QB, Cincinnati Bengals) for ignoring the best player on your team, wide receiver AJ Green, in your match-up against the San Diego Chargers this week.

AJ Green (WR, Cincinnati Bengals) for turning in a mediocre performance the week after I trade for purportedly “the #1 wide receiver in the league”.

Dennis Pitta (TE, Baltimore Ravens) for a truly pitiful effort. 19 total yards? Seriously, dude.  Why even bother suiting up?

I wish you all the worst in your respective attempts to win the Superbowl.

A few pics from what, it turns out, was my last Football Sunday get-together:

Lulu patiently awaits Ivon's arrival.
Lulu patiently awaits Ivon’s arrival.
Er...impatiently awaits Ivon's arrival.
Er…impatiently awaits Ivon’s arrival.
Rob brought breakfast: a variety of Belgian waffles (made with pearl sugar).
Rob brought breakfast: a variety of Belgian waffles (made with pearl sugar).
And Akemi baked chocolate chip cookies.
And Akemi baked chocolate chip cookies.
And these equally tasty cookies that Akemi insisted were healthy because they contained oatmeal and walnuts.
And these equally tasty cookies that Akemi insisted were healthy because they contained oatmeal and walnuts.

The mains were stuffed turkey thighs, a stuffed pork tenderloin, braised meatballs, and sweet potato mash.

Best of luck to Rob, Steve, Tio and everyone else who made it to the playoffs.  Let me know how it all turns out.

I’m done.

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26 responses

  1. Alisa Russell Avatar
    Alisa Russell

    Sorry for your loss, Joe, but I know Akemi will be glad to have your attention again. 🙂 The cookies looked great! And of course the ones with oatmeal and walnuts are healthy.

    Hope good things happen this week for you that offset what happened today!

    Reply
  2. Wendy Avatar
    Wendy

    I think you should take Akemi’s advice and skip next year. Too much stress!
    You should make them watch the superhero movies once a week.

    Reply
  3. Tam Dixon Avatar
    Tam Dixon

    Mmm, those cookies look delicious. Oatmeal and walnuts? Yep, those count as health food in the South.

    Reply
  4. Airelle Avatar
    Airelle

    Fantasy, as in not real~~, but is real money involved?? I don’t play or pretend to know anything about it, but I am sorry your team did not do well. On a lighter note the food (desserts) look delicious!! And Lulu is so cute.

    Reply
  5. dasndanger Avatar
    dasndanger

    In reply to yesterday’s comments:

    @ Carl Binder – Now I understand your reaction to my ‘skeevy Carl’ comment a few years back. You know, the one that made you cry. 😉 When I said it I never equated it to hippies…I was thinking more along the lines of rock stars. I also didn’t realize that you had been traumatized by skeevy, birthday party-poopers hippies in your tender youth. Now that I know, however… 😈

    @ Sparrow & Ponytail – Awww…thankies! I thought I was hideous back then. But now, 30 years later, I sure do wish I still looked that hideous. 😛

    @ Sparrow and JeffW – That’s why mom didn’t take us to Disney until we were in our 20s. 😛 My grandmom went on that trip, too – her first time to Disney and she had to wait until she was 82! It was a terrific trip because Epcot had just opened, and so all of that was shiny and new.

    And a little story about that trip. Because my nan was 82 we got a wheelchair for her because we weren’t sure how she’d handle all the walking. First day out, I ended up in the wheelchair with my grandmom pushing! 😳 The reason? I wore high heels nearly every day for work, but when I went to Disney I decided to wear ‘sensible shoes’. Well, it seems my hip didn’t much care for flat shoes and by midday I could barely walk. Needless to say, for the next few days at Disney I wore heels, and did just fine! (Now you couldn’t pay me to wear high heels. 😛 )

    As an aside, my nan lived to be 101. We should never have doubted her ability to walk Disney AND Epcot 19 years earlier. She sure was something – think Betty White. 🙂

    Another side note – my mom knew Idella Disney – they were from the same town. Idella, I believe, was related to Walt. She had this great dollhouse – mom still talks about it to this day. 🙂

    In reply to today’s blog:

    @ Joe – My condolences, although I’m with Akemi – it’ll be nice to have YOU back on Sundays…says the gridiron football hater. 🙂

    das

    Reply
  6. dasndanger Avatar
    dasndanger

    Whoopsies. I forgot the little backslash thingy. Oh well, we’ll excuse it away as my being distracted by mental images of Carl dressed up like a hippie. 🙂

    das

    Reply
  7. Deni Avatar
    Deni

    Sorry, Joe…that sucks! I gave football up a few years ago for the very same thing you’re going through. Not worth it, I say! Hope the rest of your night is better!

    Reply
  8. gforce Avatar
    gforce

    Well, at least that food sounded delicious (well, other than the bittercakes), and those cookies look fantastic. Akemi’s still doing her usual excellent cooking! Sorry to hear about the loss, though. I’m a bit more concerned how Lulu will fare with Ivon not being there on Sundays. Could you still host the football Sundays or would that just be too… painful?

    Reply
  9. cherluvya Avatar
    cherluvya

    Awwww….Lulu has a 💜crush💜

    AND you are going to miss all that 🏈F🏈O🏈O🏈T🏈B🏈A🏈L🏈L🏈

    Reply
  10. Ponytail Avatar
    Ponytail

    Cheer up Joe! It’s only fantasy. It’s not like you’re a Dallas Cowboy fan in the real-life football league. “I’m done.” Oh…if I just had a dollar for everytime I’ve heard those words uttered this season about the real Dallas Cowboys.

    Reply
  11. Debra Avatar
    Debra

    sorry your team lost… but glad Akemi gets more of your attention. So you really are boycotting the gang since you got eliminated? Or just pouting this week?

    Reply
  12. Sparrow_hawk Avatar
    Sparrow_hawk

    Oatmeal and walnuts? That reminds me: I forgot to make my cranberry walnut oatmeal cookies today. Now they’ll have to wait until Thursday when I have a day off.

    Reply
  13. Lewis Avatar
    Lewis

    As a lifetime Bears fan, I fully support you, Joe, in your wishing the worst for Aaron Rodgers & James Jones in their Super Bowl endeavors.

    Reply
  14. michelle Avatar
    michelle

    You’re going to deprive Lulu of Ivon’s company just because you lost? Selfish, selfish man. 🙂

    Reply
  15. archersangel Avatar
    archersangel

    oooo, belgian waffles!

    Reply
  16. sylvia Avatar
    sylvia

    Bad game day all around, but you guys had great food.
    Poor Lulu….

    Reply
  17. Akemi Avatar
    Akemi

    We can do Takoyaki party next Sunday :)♡

    Reply
  18. gforce Avatar
    gforce

    @Akemi: That sounds like a great idea! I looked that up and they sound very tasty.

    Reply
  19. IggyMing Avatar
    IggyMing

    Sorry to hear that, Joe, but I’m sure Akemi will be happy to have your undivided attention again.

    BTW, would Akemi be willing to share both cookie recipes? I’m always looking for a good choc chip cookie, and the oatmeal walnut sounds good, too. While you’re asking for recipes, do you think you could coax the sweet potato pie recipe from Rob? It looked (and sounded) delish.

    Reply
  20. lspacediva3 Avatar
    lspacediva3

    It could be worse — you could be a Saints fan living in Atlanta. They don’t even give out paper grocery bags to put over your head any more :p lol

    Reply
  21. shinyhula Avatar
    shinyhula

    Good lord, that is one pretty batch of players you’ve got there. You need more Steelers on your team. Next year, go for extremely homely players. The pretty boys can’t hold a candle to the hard working uglies of the NFL. The longer the beard and grodier the hair, the more awesome they play. Guys who look like they stepped out of a Axe ad will always dissapoint you. Anyone married to a reality star will be poison to any fantasy team.

    Reply
  22. JeffW Avatar
    JeffW

    @Joe:

    Sorry about your Snow Monkeys; we had a bad day here too with the Raven’s loss. They still have a chance in the playoffs, but looking less likely unless the Texans stumble.

    We may have a family feud going on here next Sunday; the Redskins (my wife and inlaws’ favorite team) are playing the Ravens (me and my son’s favorite team). I don’t have to live with the inlaws, but I do have to live with my wife, so it looks like I’ll need to play mediator between my wife and son…especially if there are some bad calls or other controversies.

    I promise, so I can let you heal, this is my last post on “inside football” unless you end up talking about football again in a later post.

    And I see the “Snow” is falling! Puts me in the mood to get ready for our Christmas Open House in two weeks. If you’re in Chicagoland, stop on by!

    Reply
  23. sylvia Avatar
    sylvia

    Yeah Joe, JeffW is making some epicurean delight’s – his world (universe) famous cheesecakes! YUMMMMM

    Reply
  24. Randomness Avatar
    Randomness

    @Akemi

    Try doing Melonpan with Joe, I haven’t seen him post that on his blog before. At least I don’t remember seeing it anyway.

    If you’re taking suggestions, try doing that. It’s random. Random is good.

    Reply
  25. PBMom Avatar
    PBMom

    So sorry about the Snow Monkeys. Poor Lulu. Her crush is just adorable.

    Reply
  26. Ivon B Avatar
    Ivon B

    I would like to let it be know that I have not made the playoffs in my first two seasons… I feel you’re pain but hope we carry on the tradition of caring way to much about something that doesn’t matter at all next season. It’s the hanging out with the boys, and eating cholesterol spiking treats that keeps me coming back for more punishment. For the record for all who are reading… Never in the history has anyone put in the effort that Joe did to try and build a winning fantasy football team. It was a thing of beauty!

    Reply

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