Watching X-Men: First Class like dating smart, beautiful she-monster who be fantastik company - until she drink too much, start rambling, talk about her ex, linger over espresso, and leave you wishing date could have ended sometime after dessert and before she vomit in your cabriolet. Disappointing because movie start off VERY strong but, sadly,…
April 22, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Super!
Dis movie remind monster of Christmas family dinner. It sound like a good idea and everybody expekt a good time but, instead, it end up being sad, depressing, and somebody always get hit in de head wit a big wrench. Movie begin wit lovable loser who happily married to woman way out of his league.…
April 15, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Iron Man 2!
Monster like to rate sekwels on what me call de Sliding Celebrity Sibling Scale. It start at Clint Howard and go all de way up to Mark Wahlberg. Given how much me enjoy first Iron Man, me expect Iron Man 2 to be a real Stephen Baldwin. But it surpass monster's expektations and, initially, me…
April 1, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Kick-Ass! Goa’uld-related news!
Dis film be filled wit violence, torture, and a little girl charakter more potty-mouthed den Grover dat time he developed "chemikal burns" on his blueberries after jacuzzi party wit Madonna. It be a terruble, TERRUBLE movie for kids. But a super, FANTASTIK movie for monster. Me loved it! Kick Ass ask de qwestion: What if?…
February 25, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Hellboy II: The Golden Army!
Monster pleasantly surprised by first Hellboy so, of course, me expeckt less of de same from de sekwel becuz, after all, it be a sewkwel. Remember Hangover II? Blues Brothers 2000? Citizen Kane II: The Quickening? But Hellboy II: The Golden Army out-surprise de first Hellboy. It a movie wit even more heart, even more…
February 18, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Hancock!
Monster not professional writer so not in position to offer advice to whoever wrote dis movie, but me can't help but feel it obviously a bad idea to change direktion and tone of a skript one hour into its 90 minute running time. Which be de case wit Hancock. We introduced to our anti-hero, Hancock.…
December 24, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Zoom!
Dis be less a movie and more an interminable collektion of lame musical montage sekwences punctuated by occasional attempts at a plot, charakter development and, worst of all, humor. It say a lot about dis catastrophe dat de most interesting part of Zoom be opening five minute info-dump voice-over dat explain how two brothers, Zoom…
December 10, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews My Super Ex-Girlfriend!
Dis movie reminiscent of monster's ex-girlfriend, Mona Hildeberger. One time, she get so mad after me use dishwasher to dry socks dat she spike monster's L'Oreal shampoo wit Nair hair remover. For two months while wait for fur to grow back, me kept getting mistaken for member of Blue Man Group. Very unpleasant memories. Fortunately,…
December 3, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Superman Returns!
Dis movie more boring den Fozzie Bear's off-off-off Broadway production of "Old Coronation Street Episodes". It so bad dat monster invite friends over and invent Superman Returns drinking game. Everytime someone begin to doze off while watching movie, he have to do shot. By end of movie, not sure if Big Bird and Grover pass…
November 19, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Sky High!
Monster can't help but tink dat if Wonder Woman had been my high school principal, me could have accomplished so much more in life. Instead, here me is doing movie reviews to help support my cookie habit. But me suppose it could be worse. Monster could be reviewing Elektra again. Instead, dis week, me watch…
November 12, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Fantastic Four (2205)!
Okay, yes, dis be garbage movie but viewer have to keep in mind dat it made in 1994 by schlock producer Roger Corman for miniscule budget and film never meant to be released...Wait. What? Dis NOT de Roger Corman crapfest but de 2005 $100 million budget version? Are you sure? Hmmm. Monster just checked and…
October 22, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Batman Begins!
Batman Begins fantastik but END just better den average. Direktor Christopher Nolan use Richard Donner Superman as a guide and, strukturally, both movies very similar wit strong, backstory-rich, character-driven first halves dat eventually give way to typikal nonsensical-actiony back halves. Direktion and cinematography are brilliant while akting and writing are good - for de most part.…
October 15, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl!
While watching Shark Boy and Lava Girl, monster reminded of great children's movies like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Toy Story, and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - and how very crap Shark Boy and Lava Girl be in comparison. In fakt, dis movie so bad it even compare unfavorably to Elmo's arts and crafts macaroni…
October 8, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Elektra!
Dis movie as confused as monster at Grover's bris after me down four shooters, tree oatmeal cookies (de drink, not de cookie), and six oatmeal cookies (de cookies, not de drink). But me not de only one confused dat night. Turn out whole party giant misunderstanding. Girlfriend tired of Grover being taken advantage of by…
October 1, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Incredibles!
Me know, me know. You expecting monster to say dis movie be SUPER. Or mebbe INCREDIBLE! But me not so obvious. No, monster more unprediktable den Lindsay Lohan at one of Oscar de Grouch's Hobo Hoedowns. What me WILL say is dat monster pleasantly surprized by how much me enjoy dis movie considering it be…