I was taking Jelly for a walk yesterday when I ran into my neighbor on her way to work. It had been a while since we'd crossed paths. "You've lost weight!"she marveled. I was about to tell her that I'd been working out, morning and night, in preparation for my annual Tokyo food tour. But,…
October 15, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl!
While watching Shark Boy and Lava Girl, monster reminded of great children's movies like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Toy Story, and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - and how very crap Shark Boy and Lava Girl be in comparison. In fakt, dis movie so bad it even compare unfavorably to Elmo's arts and crafts macaroni…
October 14, 2012: Ice Cream Football Sunday! Birthday Cupcakes! And some winners!
Before you ask - no. Sadly, my Snow Monkeys did not win this weekend. Ah, what might have been... If Trent Richardson hadn't left the game with a rib injury. If Brady Quinn had done a better job of looking for Dwayne Bowe. If Dolphins wide receiver Brian Hartline hadn't, apparently, missed the team bus…
October 13, 2012: Complain complain complain!
CHEESECAKE ETC. Akemi had a hankering for dessert, so, once the dishes were done, we hopped in the car and headed over to Cheesecake etc. on Granville Street for a little post-dinner treat. Now I'm not sure what the "etc." stands for in "Cheesecake etc." but, judging from our experience last night, you ca be…
October 12, 2012: The Perfect Pork Chop!
I'm a big fan of pork chops, but usually only when I make them. Like fireworks, dry ice, and raw milk cheese, the proper care and preparation of pork chops cannot be entrusted to just anyone. Many high-end restaurants seem to know what they're doing, while my buddy Rob, an avowed pork aficionado, certainly knows…
October 11, 2012: My To-Do List! Vote for your favorite comedic Stargate episode!
When I was growing up, I wanted to be a writer. And so, I sought out opportunities, worked hard, persevered and, today, I'm a writer. This story would be impressive if not for the fact that, in addition to wanting to be a writer, I also wanted to be a famous detective and a starting…
October 10, 2012: Looking ahead! Another Stargate poll! What was the best comedic episode in Stargate history? The Snow Monkey report!
To those of you asking - Yes, I fully intend to continue my trip down Stargate Atlantis memory lane by covering the fifth season and, eventually, offering some insight into the never-produced SGA movie, Stargate: Extinction. I've planned a trip to Japan for early November, so that Akemi can visit with her family, and plan…
October 9, 2012: In which the author recommends stuff!
You know what's even better than discovering a terrific new book? Discovering a terrific new author. All too often, I've come across books I've enjoyed only to be disappointed by subsequent works by the same author. Not so with Jeffrey Ford, one of the most imaginative and consistently entertaining writers out there. Several years ago,…
October 8, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Elektra!
Dis movie as confused as monster at Grover's bris after me down four shooters, tree oatmeal cookies (de drink, not de cookie), and six oatmeal cookies (de cookies, not de drink). But me not de only one confused dat night. Turn out whole party giant misunderstanding. Girlfriend tired of Grover being taken advantage of by…
October 7, 2012: The kids
I was awakened at about 4:00 a.m. by what sounded like a cat in heat, a low, sustained moan that that trailed off and rose up, trailed off and rose up. Eeeewoooooooaaaaahrreeeeooooooaaaaaaa! "Damn," I thought, "it's like that cat is sitting right outside my bedroom window." And then I realized that the window was to…
October 6, 2012: Holiday non-traditions!
Look at what I came across while cleaning out the crawlspace - a clear indication that I was destined for creative genius at a very early age. Note the artful composition, the refusal to be bound by traditional framing, the boldness of the color palette, and unique use of what appears to be actual gift…
October 5, 2012: Akemi Podcast #2 – Adam and Eve! Jelly on the mend! Bad Movie Night!
In which I (admittedly way over my head on the subject being discussed) attempt to explain to Akemi why humanity must toil as a result of original sin: Jelly went in for a stem cell boost the other day and is now at home and on the mend. Will be interesting to see what kind…
October 4, 2012: And a few recent big screen disappointments!
In yesterday's blog entry, I ran down a list of movies so bad, they actually hurt. They hurt because, at the time I paid the ticket price to sit in a theater and watch them, I was far less jaded and a long way from the embittered, hyper-critical viewer I am today. The five movies…
October 3, 2012: Movies so disappointing they hurt!
And the reason they hurt so much was because, at the time, I was a young, innocent lover of film, naive to the ways of Hollywood with its slapdash sequels, soulless reboots, and godawful adaptations. These were movies a fresh, ingenuous Joe looked forward to, counting down the days to their release. I expected great…
October 2, 2012: Safe, all-natural dog treats! I checked! Almost smoooooooth sailing! No, really! The Frozen Sky!
A recent investigative report on suspect dog treats from China led me to do a little research on the treats I feed Jelly, Bubba, and Lulu. After all, just because it says "all natural" and "made in the U.S." or "made in Canada" on the label doesn't mean some of the ingredients don't originate in…