What de Fudgee-o?  Monster feel like he in Bizarro world where black be white, day be night, and superhero movies aktually be good!

If X-Men was superhero movie made by people not embarrassed to be making a superhero movie, den Spiderman be superhero movie made by people who love superheroes – and comic books.  It be a big, bright, beootiful love letter to comic book fans wit a sprinkling of humor, ladles of drama, generous cups of action, and dash of nutmeg.  Dat one tasty love letter!


Movie begin wit nerdy Peter Parker who, on visit to genetic lab, get bitten by very spiteful experimental spider.  He return home feeling like monster after dat time me mistakingly ate Bert’s “special happy” brownies.  And den angry Bert break ceramic lamp over monster’s head.  VERY woozy.  Next morning, Peter wake up wit muscles and special abilities like power of jumping, strength, agility, wall climbing, web shooting and, most important of all, power of costume design and sewing.  Oh, and like all real life spiders, he possess spidey sense dat warn him of danger.

Yep, de gloves fit pretty nice. May need to take in de hem…

Peter enter amateur wrestling match to earn $300 for new second hand car but promoter rip him off.  He upset.  So upset dat when robber steals from promoter, Peter doesn’t use his superpowers to stop him. Dis be very bad decision becuz robber den carjack and kill Peter’s uncle Ben.  Peter realize “Wit great power come great responsibility (and chicks, but dat come later)” so he embark on life as crime fighter – and freelance newspaper photographer since he, coinsidentally, always able to snap great pictures of webhead.

DIS de best costume dey could come up wit?  Really?

Meanwhile, Harry Osorne, father of Peter’s best friend, Mopey McBoring, under pressure from military, tests super chemikal on himself even tho his assistant warn him dat side effects on rats include violence, aggression and eventually insanity.  Insanity?  How exaktly to tell violent, aggressive insane rats from violent, aggressive sane ones? Monster not sure but, den again, me not rat expert.

Anyway, yep, Harry go insane.  He makes his own supervillain outfit, jump on experimental glider, and go on killing spree – first military officials who pressure him, den board of his company, Oscorp, when dey try to force him out.  He get nickname…De Green Goblin!

Spiderman and Green Goblin clash.  Green Goblin want to be his friend but Spiderman say no.  Apparently, he already have enuf friends. Green Goblin upset and, after finding out Spiderman is really Peter Parker, he put Aunt May in de hospital, den kidnap Peter’s secret crush, MJ.  Big fight!  Green Goblin unmask hisself, den get impaled by his own glider.

To spare his best friend finding out his dad really Gren Goblin, Spiderman take Harry’s body back to de Osborne home and put him in bed, presoomably so people will assume he died of natural causes. ie. Natural stab wounds.

Movie end wit MJ revealing she love Peter but Peter not want to put her in danger so he tell her he can only be her friend.

Maybe friend with benefits.

Overall, monster like dis movie a lot.  Great performances, especially by super-creepy Willem Dafoe and scene-stealing J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson.  Kirsten Dunst less convincing as young MJ and monster never really buy her falling in love wit Peter at end.  If she be type of girl dat go out wit a lunkhead like Flash Thompson in beginning of movie, den she NOT de type of girl to go out wit nerd like Peter Parker at end of movie.

Visual effekts not bad but kind of dated.  Most of de time, de CG look like footage from a video game.  A very good video game, but still.

Biggest disappointment for monster was bulky Green Goblin costume dat look sillier den Grover’s Slave Princess Leia outfit.

Verdikt: Solid skript and movie.  VFX a bit dated and Green Goblin costume super lame but overall dese small complaints.

Rating: 9 out of 10 chocolate chippee cookies.

Sneak preview of next week’s Supermovie of de Week Club selection: Daredevil!

Hmmm.  It supposed to look like de ole Night Man t.v. series?

23 thoughts on “August 13, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club Reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Spiderman!

  1. For the Daredevil movie, I strongly recommend the director’s cut. It’s the one I have (and the only one I’ve seen since I never saw it in the theater), and it is reportedly much better than the theatrical release, as I understand it. There is one lame-o playground scene in it, but otherwise it’s the better version.

    I agree with the 9/10 cookies on Spider-Man. Good, solid movie – I like it lots.


  2. I agree with Das and with your rating, Cookie. Great movie! My brother enjoyed being an extra. We got both boys t-shirts that said their uncle had been in the movie, and they got all kinds of attention at the movie theater.

  3. This was made what, 10 years ago? Already? Well, at least one thing that this movie succeeds at is making me feel old.

    Then again, of course, it succeeds at a lot more than that. I always liked how it got right into the story, without a lot of unnecessary preamble. Acting was good, I even enjoyed the much maligned Kirsten Dunst. I do find her rather cute though, so that could be affecting my judgement. And, J.K. Simmons was a perfect J.J. Jameson.

    I always thought Willem Defoe was creepy anyway, so he was pretty much perfect for his part. I actually didn’t mind the Green Goblin outfit – it seemed like it looked just as I remembered it from the comics, cheesy though it may be.

    I will agree about the VFX, although I thought given when they were made, they’ve aged pretty well. The scene during the parade where Spidey jumps from balloon to balloon was pretty rough, though.

    There’s a reason that I remembered this as one of my favourite superhero movies ever, and for just the reasons you stated, Cookie. Overall, it’s aged extremely well. Nice tight, well-written script and good acting. So far in these movies, it’s a complete aberration. Then again, I remember than the year 2000 seemed to be a big turnaround in the quality of these things. (At least on average.) What happened, I wonder?

    Of course, it wouldn’t be one of these reviews if I didn’t have my nit picks. I mean, it’s what I do best after all!

    When Norman Osborn first takes the “potion”, he says that after 1000 years of human evolution, we have not reached anything near our potential. Um, I think it’s been more than that. Perhaps he meant technological evolution? I don’t know what the writers were thinking there.

    When he’s crawling on the outside of a building when he first discovers his sticky climbing powers while in his street clothes, how is it his toes, which have shoes on them, are also sticky?

    After the first explosion during the parade, why didn’t the people on the balcony immediately run into the building (it must have been safe, since they did it later)? I mean, that would have been my first reaction – to you know, get the HELL out of there! I realize that the whole point was to get MJ hanging in peril, but it stood out to me.

    Overall though, pretty minor stuff. I always did love the very end of the credits with the original Spiderman cartoon theme song. I haven’t seen the new remake of the movie that is currently out, but I have to wonder what the point of it is.

  4. I agree as a comic to movie project I thought it worked will. It stayed true to the story line though the breaking baloney was a little lame for me. The movie brought new meaning to singing in the rain; a very sexy kiss and she did not try to completely pull off his mask. I liked the goblin’s mask too because of the moveable eyeware. Solid cookies few crumbs.

  5. Nice review Cookie!

    Except I think maybe you were confused from too many (or not enough?) cookies, cuz it was Norman who owned the company, tried the experimental juice on himself and went insane like a rat. Harry is Peter’s friend aka Mopey McBoring.

  6. @Cookie Monster:

    Biggest disappointment for monster was bulky Green Goblin costume dat look sillier den Grover’s Slave Princess Leia outfit.

    That was not a visual image I needed in my head (shudders).

    @Tam Dixon:

    I suspect the reason for not having an ancient related arc (and the need to kill them all off) was that the ancients would no longer be mysterious and larger than life.

    On the website authoring, I was venting a little bit too 😉

  7. Loved Spidey at the theater; though I did not get a chance to rewatch it, I think 9/10 cookies is deserved.

    Daredevil! I don’t think I’ve seen the director’s cut, so I don’t know what the difference is. I recall liking it the first time I saw it. Colin Farrell was memorable. I’m hoping it will arrive from Netflix in time for me to watch it before I have to leave to take my daughter off to college this weekend. I’m not sure it’s a Joe or Cookie movie, though.

    Ack! Too much happening and no time for fun. 🙁

  8. You said to watch/re-watch the movie. Anyway, my ten year old memories were of enjoying the movie very much, especially the character drama, the visuals, and the least creepy upside down kiss in movie history.

  9. Pscyhe! I watched it this time. Netflix may suck now, but there’s a redbox near me and I’ve pushed the reviewing from ancient memories thing too far.


    Once again, we see the “discovering and incorporating his superpowers” plot. As of 2002, we’d seen this plot done too many times in rapid succession. It was just about time to call a moratorium on it. Hadn’t M. Night done enough damage?

    And then there’s the old chestnut of the villain kidnapping the girl to draw the superhero out. Sorry, just too done. My 7 year-old son summed it up thusly during the rescueing MJ from the balcony scene: “all the ladies in movies do is scream and keep backing up.” I do like that Parker had such a deep moment to realize he couldn’t be with MJ (*giggles at the name Mary Jane, recovers serious tone*). That’s a fresher take on what women do for plots.

    If any movie gets a pass on the moratorium on the “discover your superpowers, villain kidnaps the girl” plot, it’s Spiderman. They done it the bestest. In fact, I’ll chuck all the above criticism if we can all agree to have a giant bonfire party where we destroy all existing copies of 70% of the movies reviewed so far. And Unbreakable just to get Peter DeLuise to show up. Those movies don’t deserve to exist if they in any way distract me while I’m watching Spiderman.

    The visuals were just the perfect comic to movie adaptation. That shivery feeling I got when the movie for The Shadow got the feel just right — that’s how it was when the spider first appeared and in many scenes later. Someone scanned the imaginations of little kids peaking around the frames of the comics and made it happen.

    The fun and games of the discovering his superpowers scenes were the funnest. If I’m remembering right, some of the Spiderman skyscraper love had to be scraped out of the movie at the last minute because people weren’t ready for those New York visuals just after 9/11, so it might’ve been even funner if released at the right moment.

    The movie had all the well-crafted dialogue of an A-movie classic. BUUUUUT, that line during the newspaper mogul strangling, “let mom and dad talk”, that was a SPIDERMAN!!! line. The feel of Spiderman demands more of that than this movie delivered. It’s not too late to splice it in, Spiderman’s mouth doesn’t even move.

    I think you know what I was fangirling about with the Shadow now, when someone figured out how I pictured it and made it happen. The adventure plot of Spiderman was weak. The character drama wasn’t, but there was some coincidence. The weaknesses weren’t distracting because, between the talky bits, was the vividness of a childhood imagination re-played right there in my living room.

  10. Intriguing rating, Cookie Monster. I admit, I never was a fan of the Tobey McGuire Spiderman movies. I’ll be very interested to hear your opinion on the Andrew Garfield version later on!

  11. I was pleasantly suprised on rewatching this movie. I figured after 10 years this movie would appear dated. But it really held up well. Sure, the fx were not quite up to today’s standards, but they didn’t distract me.from the story. Solid acting, touches of humor interspersed with the more serious themes of power and responsibility: once again Marvel translated their characters to the big screen without insulting them.
    As for the costume. Different yes, but probably better. A costume more true to the original would have come off looking a bit cheesy I think.
    Lessee, time to see if I have Daredevil in the archive, or if I’ll have to rent. On that note, hope you have a great day, and looking forward to the next installment of days of Akemi as the world turns on the brave and bold. Beaurocrats of the north…

  12. This is a pretty decent movie. As @db pointed out, there’s still the usual tropes that you get in most superhero movies but I don’t think you can blame the writers, producers and director for them. They need to create tension and peril by putting something special to the hero in danger. Be it the hero’s girlfriend, family, city or planet it doesn’t really matter. The important thing is that there’s a reason why the hero must fight the baddie and having the girlfriend in danger is most likely to illicit an emotional response. What I’m curious about is that if the roles were reversed and we had a female superhero, would putting her boyfriend in peril have the same effect?

    We all know that MJ isn’t going to die when she’s thrown off the bridge. And it’s unlikely that the cable car full of scouts is going to come crashing down either. But the hero doesn’t know that! If the movie can generate some empathy between the hero and the audience then when the hero is tense the audience feels it too, even though they know the likely outcome.

    I think Joss Wheedon did it best in Serenity when he killed off Wash just before the crew was about to go on their dangerous mission. At that moment you knew that noone was safe and that any of the characters could be killed at any moment. It immediately increased the tension and peril. Alas, you can’t go off killing your main characters all the time. Especially since they’d already killed Uncle Ben but missed to opportunity to use his death to increase peril.

    Anyway, Spiderman is just plain good fun! It has excitement and wonder when Peter starts discovering his new powers, it has pathos when Uncle Ben dies, Aunt May is attacked and Peter brushes aside MJ’s advances and a bit of raunchiness with that upsidedown kiss.

    As for the VFX, it does feel a little dated. The digital double stuff in particular is pretty dodgy. I want to be generous and say that it’s just because we’re so used to amazing VFX these days but I’m sure I remember thinking it looked pretty dodgy when I saw this in the cinema. Although the digital double stuff from other movies of the time isn’t much better. I suspect it was as good as you could get back then. Unfortunately, working in the VFX industry has completely ruined these sorts of movies for me. All I do now is laugh at the bad effects and wonder how they did the good effects which makes it hard to get immersed in the action!

  13. Gotta disagree with Line Noise; Spidey is a better movie because it’s not bulked out with noisy effects and it gets from point A to B with the precision of a surgeon. Plus it doesn’t have to tick off a certain number of allotted scenes so that the huge cast can each have their moment. Spider-Man is like an Aston-Martin; beautifully functional. Avengers is like a jetpack; cool but useless unless you’re storming the Super Bowl. Avengers is a fun film but it ain’t no Spider-Man.

    But don’t let us keep you, surely Line Noise is too busy telling the Pope that Buffy Season 8 is better written than the bible.

  14. Cookie’s rating was very generous. I liked this movie but the new Spiderman was better (to me). I never liked Tobey Maguire. I thought Maguire did a good job in the movie but I was relieved when they re-cast the role for the new flick.

    JeffW: Yes, I see your point but I bet the writers could have thought of some way to work an ancient in. If they could bring Carson back from the dead, not even the sky would be a limit 😉 .

  15. Did enjoy this movie – but still wonder when and how magically the cheesey homemade spidey outfit becomes the really nice form fitting outfit.
    I rewatched several parts…but, alas, no clues.
    Getting old and miss things.

  16. Q&A – Is there an individual with NCIS responsible for all the former Stargate actors that have been cast?

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