You never fully appreciate what a crucial role the sense of smell plays in the tasting process – until its compromised and everything you eat tastes like my aunt’s half-the-sugar cookies.  This became clear to me yesterday, two days into my killer cold, when I went out for Italian and: a) didn’t have  a second helping of pasta or, more alarmingly, b) finish dessert.  Hmmmm.  I may be on to something here for anyone looking to lose some weight.  It’s simple really.  Before you sit down to a meal, stuff your nostrils with either tobacco, sardines or crushed charcoal briquettes, then proceed to eat as your normally would.  I guarantee the pounds will melt away in no time.

So, I’ve started work on that feature script I mentioned the other day. Six pages in and it’s smooooooooth sailing.

My comic book series, Dark Matter, launches tomorrow with its very first issue.  Do me a favor and get the word out…and then pick up a copy, either at your local comic book store or digitally here (, through your smart phones here ( or  here(, and/or order yourself an online copy here (!  And tell me what you think!

The lovely Marjorie M. Liu (author of The Dirk and Steele series, the Hunter Kiss series, NYX, X-23, Dark Wolverine, and, in a few months, The Astonishing X-Men) was kind enough to invite me over to her blog for a little chat.  Head on over and check it out, then leave a comment for a chance to win an iTune download of Stargate: Universe’s first season! An interview with Joseph Mallozzi!

You can also check out another Dark Matter-related interview I did, this one with ComicBook Therapy:

Also today, I chatted with the ever-so-genial Tony Tellado over at Sci-Fi Talk (Sci-Fi Talk Official Blog | Multi-Media Site On SF,Fantasy And Horror).  We discussed Dark Matter and (of course) Stargate for an upcoming podcast.  I’ll let you know once he lets me know when it’s up!

Boy is Cookie Monster pissed.  He was expecting all of you to weigh in with your thoughts on our first Superfilm of the Week Club selection (Superman and the Mole-Men), but it  turns out most of you took a pass – meaning he sat through the movie and now has to make conversation with himself.  What is he, Big Bird?!  He was so mad that he trashed Mr. Hooper’s store, then kicked Oscar’s garbage can down the block.  With Oscar in it!  Just thought I’d warn you before we head into the Superfilm of the Week discussion…

kluseklan writes: “At the very least Superman should have been mighty pi$$ed at all the murder attempts directed at him by the townspeople. I mean, really, how many times must the man step in front of a gun before people figure out bullets aren’t cutting it?”

Cookie Monster: Forget townspeople shooting at him.  Monster surprised Superman not hurl Lois Lane into rezervoir.  She belittle Clark so much, me almost expekt her to kick him in de graypes!

Sparrow_hawk writes: “However, I could not bring myself to watch the Superman movie. Just couldn’t do it. Sorry, Joe and Cookie Monster.”

Cookie Monster: Monster very disappointed in sparkle-hawk.  Not feel dis let down since Blues Brothers 2000.

gforce writes: “I actually agree with most of your review – except for the hats! They were the best part!”

Cookie Monster: Hats best part of movie in same way turn-and-cough best part of annual monster physical.

Bloomgate writes: “When the molemen were pointing their weapon at Superman, he insisted that Lois go inside to safety. She then proceeded indoors to a location near the line of fire, and directly visible in a picture window. Did Lois think that whatever their weapon shot out of it, it could not somehow penetrate glass?”

Cookie Monster: Or her icy exterior.

Bloomgate also writes: “When the molemen were returning to their realm at the well cap, the final moleman to descend was carrying their weapon and handed it to Superman so he could properly navigate the ladder. Once inside Superman handed it back to him. Evidently, the molemen have a need for advanced weaponry within their own society, but had somehow after only a few minutes of pantomime had come to believe Superman trustworthy enough to allow him to do them that favor.”

Cookie Monster:  Maybe he have one of dose “trust me wit your weapon” faces.  Happen to monster all da time.

Bloomgate also writes: “Although no aspersions toward Watergate, but the realization that they just wanted their people back as the resolution seemed vaguely familiar. ”

Cookie Monster: Wow!  Dat true!  Robert Cooper rip off Mole Man movie plot for episode!  What next?  Bigscreen 3D scifi version of Dances wit Wolves?

DP writes: “Why did it have to be harmless phosphorescence and not cryptonitish, moppet-melting radiation?”

Cookie Monster: Yep.  Mole men go back.  Everyone happy because dey learn valuable lesson.  Den dey die of radiation poizoning.  No one see dat  ending coming!

DP also writes: “Why was Lois suddenly concerned when the milk hit Superman instead of Luke?”

Cookie Monster: Monster tink Lois major groupie skank.

DP also writes: “How DID the orange sack get over here?”

Cookie Monster: Yeah!  Dat never explained!  How DID orange sack get over here?!!  Me smell sequel!!!

Airelle writes: “I just wish Superman had flown more than he did.”

Cookie Monster: Monster tink just the right amount of bad stunt flying to compliment bad acting.

Airelle also writes: “it seemed the little guy inside had more than ample time to figure out the loose floorboard strategy.”

Cookie Monster: What me want to know if why tunnel under shack?  Once hiding place for French resistance?  Monster very confused.

Patricia Stewart-Bertrand writes: “Is there a way we could get the very first Dark Matter Comic/graphic novel autographed by you and Paul?”

Cookie Monster: Monster not want to speak for Joe and Paul but Sure!  Dey be delighted!  Bring comical book next time you see dem and dey write heartwarming message inside like Best Kawoo-ishes or Keep Your Feet on de Ground and Keep Reaching for da Stargate or Get Better Harold!

Line Noise writes: “There must be something wrong with me. I didn’t think the movie was THAT bad.”

Cookie Monster: It relative.  Compared to hernia surgery footage, movie very watchable!

Anne writes: “…the way Luke Benson throw punches to Superman after the bullets bounced.”

Cookie Monster: He punch like Monster’s mommy.  All ouchy knuckles!

24 thoughts on “January 10, 2012: Hot new diet plan! One day to Dark Matter #1! Cookie Monster pissed!

  1. I forced my poor, unsuspecting 10 year old to watch the movie with me and he happened to be with me when I read this post. He agrees that the movie was reminiscent of the ‘turn and cough’ experience. When asked his opinion of the comparison, he says he feels that of the two experiences, the movie was better…but only very slightly!

  2. Hernia surgery footage?! Dammit, they told me that was for America’s Funniest videos!

    In other news, hubby has been offered a job as an ice road trucker. Really. If the company he works for here will give him a leave of absence, and let him keep his senor driver status (and job) to come back, he’ll do it. In the research and speculation stages just now. But how cool would that be?

  3. So Joe, since you have all these other things going on…and it’s been awhile, are you getting tired about being interviewed about Stargate?

    And the guy who was running Save SGU on Facebook had a major hissy fit…do you think he has yet to realize it’s not coming back…at least not in the near future….which may also happen to Team Stargate in Nerd Wars…we have several core members, but maybe not enough for a team the next go around….so sad…

  4. “Cookie Monster: Wow! Dat true! Robert Cooper rip off Mole Man movie plot for episode! What next? Bigscreen 3D scifi version of Dances wit Wolves?”

    *Dies laughing* I KNEW I had seen that movie somewhere before!!

    Cookie will be pleased to know that I’m downloading the Batman rental from iTunes as I type.

  5. Joe I hope you feel better soon. You have a lot of things planned in the soon to be.. If its what I had, I let it go on for a week, before finally giving in to go to a dr…a little antibiotic, and a few days, and I was soooo much better..They called mine upper respiratory crap, oh maybe crap was my word.. anywho, hope you are on the mend as we speak, rest and soup and rest, dog kisses would help. Take care of yourself. Tokyo awaits.

  6. I am going to find our comic book store tomorrow. I will buy digital if the store doesn’t have it. Dark Matter…can’t wait! *smiles*

  7. Hi, Joe,

    I’m catching up on blog entries since I’ve had the flu from hell for 2 weeks and counting.

    The speculoos (sp?) ice cream looked fantastic, worth pulling down my old Donvier canister for. I’ll have to see if I can find it somewhere.

    On your TV series search, if you haven’t seen Justified yet, run to the video store. Margot Martindale gives the performance of the decade in the second season. And when you are wondering where you have seen her before, she was the motherly file clerk in Dexter.

    Game of Thrones starts slow, but once Peter Dinklage gets rolling as Tyrion, it gains some much needed energy. I thought the changes they made to Cersei were interesting, though I guess “true” fans of the books were up in arms.

    I thought Luther was overrated, though Idris Elba is always watchable. But that whole cop on the edge trope feels tired. Why is he on the edge? He just is.

    Take care of your cold. Does Akemi make chicken soup?

  8. “Do me a favor and get the word out…and then pick up a copy”

    The book is on my pull list, and when I have a moment after I read it, I’ll try to let you know what I think.

  9. Congrats on the event tomorrow.
    I hope you feel better soon.
    Sorry for passing yesterday but really, not into superheroes in books, mags or comics so not much to contribute. 🙁

  10. @Das and Joe
    Louis Ferreira was brilliant on tonights NCIS.

    Das is on to something cause NCIS does have clearances and Abby and McGee to get “into” anything needed for a case. LOL.

    The mole men remind me of a Star Trek Classic with Clint Howard playing an emperor. I swear his head and the molemen are the same.

    Apologies to Cookie Monster – I could not bear to watch that and to think in another lifetime, I loved the Superman TV shows.

  11. Joe, on many of the comic previews sites, it says that the Dark Matter #1 comic is #1 of 4. Does that mean the initial story is only 4 issues, and then another will start? Or is it 4 issues, and then more if it sells well? Most series that will be lasting many issues are either “ongoing” or don’t have x/x issues. Just wondering.

  12. Forgot to mention that I will be picking up #1 tomorrow. It is on my pull list. Is there more than one cover art?

  13. @ sylvia – I’m expecting Todd to show up any day now…as the Director! 😀

    @ Mr. Monster – Sorry I didn’t watch the movie. I don’t know how to do that. I’m too poor to buy the DVD, too cheap to have Netflix, and too lazy to try and find it on-line. What if you bring the next movie to my place and we can watch it together – I have COOKIES! 😀


  14. I’d rather Clark exposed some film and confirmed real radiation from the beginning so there would be more tension. They took radiation precautions for the already-exposed, but were all “Meh” when it came to others.

    What’s this with Cookie terrorizing the neighborhood? I’m so disillusioned. I thought he just had a little impulse control problem when it came to his sugar addiction. I didn’t know he was dangerous. Oh, MONSTER, right. Duh.

  15. Joe, thanks for making me laugh, and thank Cookie Monster too. Sorry, I couldn’t watch the movie. Hubby reminded me of how bad it was, and I just couldn’t. Anyway, congrats on the release today. I’m going to be picking Dark Matter up either Friday or this weekend. Wish me luck on Friday. I’m going to get my driver’s license for the state I’m in now, and I heard that it takes ALL DAY to get that and title and tags for the car. YUCK!!!

    Have a great day!!!!!

  16. @Joe: I hope you feel better soon! I just hate it when my sense of smell is wiped out by a cold.

    @Cookie: Blues Brothers 2000? As bad as that? Now I feel guilty. Not guilty enough to watch that awful movie, though.

    das: I never remember to watch NCIS. Drat! I’ll have to catch up when it goes to reruns. I hate watching things on my computer as I am too cheap to buy myself a laptop and I like to lounge on the couch while I watch stuff. You’re a sly one – bribing the reviewer!

  17. Hey, Joe! Congratulations on Dark Matter!

    I just heard through my LA grapevine that you had a comic coming out . . . and then I stop by here and it’s friggin’ TODAY.

    Very cool. There’s a big-league comics shop a few miles from me, and if I don’t find it there, I will personally harass the management until they order a dozen copies.

    Good luck with it!


  18. I’m downloading Dark Matter on the the iPad now. When I see a comic book store, I may buy a “real copy” too but I don’t know where a comic store is around here.

    Max still doing ok?

  19. Be careful about secondary infections with your killer cold. I had a cold during Christmas and it is still kicking my butt. The steroids and a second round of antibiotics helped but I’m still feeling wiped out. I hope you feel better soon.

    Dark Matter is very cool on the ipad but the pages are duplicated. Odd but not a big deal. I’ll just read everything twice 😉 .

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