We were at the farmer’s market on Saturday morning where I spotted a rare sight: grass-fed beef ribs!  I snatched up the last rack (much to the disappointment of the woman shopping after me) and headed home, formulating my culinary game plan.  That night, I salted the meat, let it sit for an hour, then seared it off in a heavy skillet to get that nice mahogany crust.  Then, after letting it rest for half an hour, I seasoned generously with more salt, pepper, garlic powder, smoked paprika, thyme, and oregano.  I elected to go slow cooker over oven-roasted so, when the time came, I set the the rack in my crock pot and covered it with a bottle of cooked-off red wine, olive oil, honey, apple cider vinegar,  and one can of DOP San Marzano tomatoes.  Everything was set up.  All I had to do was press START before I went to bed and the ribs would be fall-off-the-bone done in the morning, slow simmering until lunch.

The next morning, Akemi woke up first and headed into the kitchen where I heard her utter a “Oh no.”.  I assumed it had snowed.  It was only while I was brushing my teeth, thinking about those delicious ribs, that I realized the “Oh no” had not been a reaction to the weather.  It had been a response to the discovery I had forgotten to press START!

The beef ribs had sat out all night in the marinade, roughly 12 hours.  What was I to do?  On the one hand, the FDA advises people NOT to consume raw meat that has been left unrefrigerated for more than two hours.  On the other hand, I was REALLY looking forward to those beef ribs.

A quick internet search yielded conflicting advice.  There was the very real danger that the meat was, by now, covered in dangerous pathogens that would make us very, very ill.  And yet, I was somewhat comforted by seemingly knowledgeable experts posting in foodie forums who pointed out the FDA was just covering their asses with those guidelines and, besides, people in countries without refrigeration leave their meat out for days.  So, who was I to believe?  In the end, my twitter followers…

Yes, I put it to a vote.  And received a lot of interesting opinions.  I left my fate (and lunch plans) in the hands of roughly 1,100 mostly strangers.  The results…

And so, 4+ hours later after cooking on high, I deemed the beef ribs “done” and put them under the broiler for 2 minutes each side (in the hopes that would kill off any toxins), then brushed them with a glaze comprised of amaro (reasoning the alcohol would also sterilize the ribs), honey, a mango-based hot sauce, and olive oil and seared them off one last time.

I mean, they looked pretty tasty.

Despite the confidence of two-thirds of the random twitter users who voted, I remained cautious and only had a single rib.  Akemi, for her part, only hazarded a bite.  Delicious!  Sweet and savory, slightly spicy, with nary hint of bacterial infection.  To be on the safe side, I chased it down with a shot of amaro figuring the booze would kill any potential bacteria and, after all, who ever heard of anyone getting sick after drinking alcohol?

Most food poisoning takes effect within an hour or two after consumption, so I anxiously awaited the results.  Three hours later, I posted an update:

Feeling no ill effects, I had another rib for dinner.  Akemi, for her part, went all in, consuming three (!).  We slept on it/them.  And the following morning…

I guess that’s it.  Unless it turns out to be one of those rare cases where food poisoning kicks in days, sometimes weeks later, I think we’re all good.

In the end, not only did I enjoy some delicious ribs, but I was provided much-needed material for this blog!  All the same, next time around, I’ll definitely be hitting “ENTER” on that slow-cooker.