She's up to something!  You can tell!
She’s up to something! You can tell!

 

"Seriously,"she says.  "I don't know how that hydrochloric acid got in there."
“Seriously,”she says. “I don’t know how that hydrochloric acid got in there.”
Hmmmm.  Movie title...movie title...
Hmmmm. Movie title…movie title…
Got it!  Stargate Atlantis...The Quickening!
Got it! Stargate Atlantis…The Quickening!

Ashleigh, our Exec. Producer’s Assistant, was incredibly cheerful today. Unnervingly so. “Good morning, Joe!”she greeted me as I rolled in this morning, a huge smile plastered across her face.

“What’s up?”I asked, instantly suspicious. “Why are you so happy?”

“No reason,”she replied with a shrug. “I’m just happy.”

Un huh. I headed down the corridor and approached my office, careful to check it for any hidden boobytraps – springloaded darts and the like – before unlocking the door and peeking inside. Hmmm. Nothing seemed amiss. But, of course, appearances can be deceiving. I set down my briefcase, swung around, and pulled out my chair. I nudged it, gently at first, then with a little more force, half-expecting it to fall apart at the slightest provocation. Nope. I exerted some pressure on the seat, first with one hand, then two, then sat down. Nothing. I checked my desk drawers for the hidden catfish or hunk of limburger. Still nothing. I checked the phone, my bookshelves, even my recycling box. All normal. Somewhat relieved, I settled in –

But not really, because “settling in” would imply a lowering of my guard, relaxing. There was none of that today. I was alert, like a rabbit being stalked, its senses heightened, its body rushing with adrenaline, prepared to bolt at the slightest hint of danger. No, scratch that. More ninja than rabbit, my body poised to launch into action. Who is that outside my office? What was that sound?! What’s that smell?!!

I kept one eye on the door throughout the morning as Paul and I tried to come up with a title for the Atlantis movie. We threw out ideas, narrowed down our choices, and eliminated those that had already been used by either Star Trek or SG-1 – which left us with approximately 0 to choose from. Carl popped in and rather unhelpfully suggested “Dark Gambit”, his way of letting us now that he can’t very well come up with a freakin’ title to a script he hasn’t even read yet! Paul assured him that he would get a copy soon, soon.

We had pizza for lunch and I made a point of selecting the unobvious slices (This is the piece she wants me to take!), then positioned myself in such a way that I could eat at a 45 degree angle to both entrances to the writers’ room. I was, of course, hyper-vigilant throughout the notes session on Carl’s outline and Paul’s first draft of Divided, then while we watched Brad’s cut of Water (Awesome episode with, again, some really wonderful character moments and performances. Young-Scott, Young-Rush, Greer-Tamara, Chloe-James, Eli in general), I cast quick glances at either door throughout. Just in case.

As it turned out, my vigilance paid off. I got through the day unscathed. And as I was heading out the door, I heard Ashleigh call after me: “Have a safe trip home!”

Safe trip! Aha! I knew it! Lull me into a false sense of security, then sneak outside and sever my brake lines. Well, ha ha! The jokes on her! Rather than drive home tonight, I took the bus instead! Who’s laughing now, huh?

Hey, the initial response to my short story has been very positive. Got some great input from Kellie who took the time to read it and provide notes. Then, heard from my editor who, I‘m thrilled to report, neither threw it across the room, vomited, nor immediately flagged my email address as spam after reading it. In fact, he gave it a much-appreciated thumbs up and had very nice things to say (and not just “You‘re a terrific speller!” or “I loved your font!”). Despite coming in at a whopping 18 000 words (I know, I know. Pretty damn presumptuous for my first professional sale.), it will make it into the anthology. To all those wanting to know what the anthology is about and when it’ll hit bookstores – well, I leave it to my illustrious editor to break the news over on his blog. And, when he does, I’ll provide a link that will include all the pertinent info including my highly-esteemed company on this literary venture.

A reminder to finish up Michael A. Burstein’s I Remember The Future. Discussion begins on Monday after which we will be joined by the author (and blog regular) for a Q&A.

Today’s entry is dedicated to belated birthday gal Sherwood Forest Maiden.

Today’s mailbag:

Narelle from Aus writes: “Where has Jedi Master been posting their observations/rants/batpoo crazy assumptions? I saw the first one earlier in May but haven’t seen any since. Or didn’t they make it through moderation?”

Answer: It’s over on the same thread/entry. The big head-scratcher for me is the intimation that I was part of some grand conspiracy to cancel a series I’d been co-show running for the past two years. Don’t see the logic.

Ponytail writes: “What did Jason say? (this is serious). How is he feeling? How is his eye? Did he get all healed up? Will his hair be short for the Atlantis movie?”

Answer: He’s doing great. Apparently, he’s been working out like crazy and is the fittest he’s ever been. He says that with a little make-up, you wouldn’t even know the scar was there. As for the length of his hair – didn’t ask him but whatever do he’s sporting when he finally comes up for the movie will be a-okay with us. Oh, if you remember many entries back my mentioning that the crew is a great barometer for judging what certain people are like “behind the scenes“? Well, you’d be hardpressed to find a bigger sweetheart than the big guy. The crew loved him!

PoorOldEdgarDerby writes: “Joe, did any cast or crew ever go back to do commentaries for seasons 1-3?”

Answer: Not that I know of.

Daniel Willis writes: “Quick question to anyone, what happened to Mckays girlfriend, the one from the plant lab?”

Answer: They broke up in the episode Quarantine.

Ascended Tauri writes: “Suppose two wormholes travelling through subspace at the same time intersect eachother while on rhoute to two different Stargates, what would you suppose the result would be once the two wormholes were re-integrated on the other side?”

Answer: Not sure. Possibly havoc. A similar scenario lead to all sorts of tomfoolery in a little episode called Ripple Effect back on SG-1.

Nadine writes: “I’m pretty sure you’ve mentioned this at some point, but have you watched Full Metal Alchemist? If so, what did you think? Where did it rate among your animes, and are there any you’d recommend?”

Answer: Yes, I watched it. And, while I did like it, it doesn’t place in my top 25 alongside the likes of: Cowboy Bebop, Berserk, Noir, Now and Then Here and There, Revolutionary Girl Utena, Kino’s Journey, Samurai Champloo, Infinite Ryvius, Azumanga Daioh, GTO, Excel Saga, Boogiepop Phantom, Trigun, Video Girl Ai, Last Exile, Neon Genesis Evangelion, and Rurouni Kensin.

Narelle from Aus writes: “By the way, what Title is on your business cards?”

Answer: Consulting Producer/Know-It All

SebiMeyer writes: “Uh, oh. You took a photo of a person thinking about SGU. Sure SyFy allows that?”

Answer: Please don’t report me.

Littleravenhawk writes: “Did I miss you talking about The Last Unicorn??? Did you like it?”

Answer: I did like it.

Michael A. Burstein writes: “Joe, regarding the guy in the van: do you have some sort of neighborhood watch set up in your community?”

Answer: I’m it!

GateFanSamJack writes: “Will there be dune buggies or monster trucks in SGU?”

Answer: None of the above. Instead, when off-world, the gang will drive around in a purple van dubbed The Mystery Machine and solve crimes. Cool, huh?

Jenny Robin writes: “It’s official. You’re a nut.”

Answer: Where the hell have you been, stranger?

Mike writes: “I dropped you a line about a year ago about doing an interview for CinemaSpy.com (we’re big Stargate fans over here).”

Answer: I dropped you a line back. Check your email.

SiskoFreak writes: “ I’ve just started exploring the Stargate franchise (I’m about halfway through season 2 of SG-1) but I’m intrigued by the premise of Stargate Universe and the new direction it will take the franchise. I’m also an aspiring screenwriter looking for TV work…are you still looking for staff writers or freelancers? If so, who should I contact for consideration?”

Answer: Alas, we’re not currently looking for writers. All of season one’s story slots have been filled except one – and it’s being scripted in-house. Sorry, SF.

53 thoughts on “May 13, 2009: I’m Like One Of Those Ninja Rabbits…

  1. “Scripted in house?” Does this mean you’re giving another one of your amazing assistants their “big break”? Could it possibly be Ashleigh? You know we’re all rooting for a female writer, and she’s quite handily right down the hall 😉

  2. Hi Joe,

    I think you should booby trap your own door so you know when somebody enters your office. I do it to my doors all the time, you can never be too careful. Carefully place something small, it could be a toothpick, near the door so it would fall when opened. Naturally that is to divert them from the real test. I could explain further but it gets complicated. You know, there was an episode of SG-1 with a guy that used toothpicks and whatnot to booby trap his doors. Something like that!

    Also, motion cameras are great.

  3. You might have to set up a secret office in the janitor’s closet.

    How about Red Harvest?

  4. Hi Joe,

    This has probably been asked before, but what was that huge light beam thingo from the wraith ship in Letters From Pegasus?

  5. Joe, did you check under your chair? My favorite office prank: tape a can of tuna underneath the chair. It begins to stink, but how often do you look at the BOTTOM of the chair, eh? It’s great.

    Ascended Tauri writes: “Suppose two wormholes travelling through subspace at the same time intersect eachother while on rhoute to two different Stargates, what would you suppose the result would be once the two wormholes were re-integrated on the other side?”

    Well, if Jack O’Neill is in one wormhole, and Sam Carter is in the other, then obviously their DNA would be combined and reintegrated on the other side as a baby. 😉

  6. So, Lulu’s got a doggie crush on the pop artist know as Justin Timberlake, huh? Did she catch him on last week’s SNL? 😉

  7. Joe thanks for the additional information about Jason Momoa. Joe wrote, “he’s been working out like crazy and is the fittest he’s ever been.” OMG! Can’t wait. And “with a little makeup, you wouldn’t even know the scar was there.” Hey Jason, remember what you said, “Chicks dig scars.” I just hope your vision is okay. And Joe wrote, “The crew loved him!” So do I! From day one: “Runner” (thanks again writer Robert Cooper)

  8. Thanks for those anime rec’s. I’ve seen Cowboy Bebop and really enjoyed it, but beyond that (and FMA) my anime experience is limited to a couple movies, mostly Hayao Miyazaki.

    Do you have a favourite restaurant in Vancouver? Is it the obvious? (Fuel I mean…)
    Have you read “The Sparrow”, by Mary Doria Russell?

  9. Two words, Joe…

    Voodoo doll.

    Have you taken a peek into her filing cabinet? Maybe in one of those supposively empty toner boxes? Do you know where your disgarded tissues have gotten to [could have been used as doll stuffing!]…? Oh, and you may want to check “who” has life insurance policies out on you too…

    In the meanwhile, you might want to give her Solstice Day off….

  10. I tried to warn you Joe that constant practical jokes make for a very intense work environment. But does anyone ever listen to the blonde?

    I would definitely check for raw meat.
    While not initially that noticeable – Did someone not wash their socks? Has something died in the air conditioning? being the usual first thoughts – once that meat turns into its liquid form there’s no getting rid of that smell… EVER!
    I say this as my Mum is still trying to work out how to get rid of rotting uncooked roast chicken smell from her car 5 months later.

    Joe wrote:

    The big head-scratcher for me is the intimation that I was part of some grand conspiracy to cancel a series I’d been co-show running for the past two years. Don’t see the logic.

    Your Earth logic is of no use here Joe.
    Assumption. It’s frustrating.
    Last night, after someone decided to lose about 6 inches of rubber out the front of our house (it’s usually a sleepy little street), neighbours up the road came down and asked in their best accusatory voice, “Friend of yours?”.
    When I asked them, “Why would you think that?” they got all stammery and didn’t really have a good reason. It just so happens that our house is the start of the “straight”.

    Your “Know It All” title saves on making different versions of business cards (or am I one of the few that has 5 sets of business cards?). I like it.

    Good night!

  11. You had better be carfull you will end up like Hyke on MASH sleeping in the yard with barbwire all around you.

    Its the episod where Hyke and BJ made a bet on who could have the biggest joke and the loser had to stand on a table with his pants pulled down singing “He’s The Tops”

    The joke that Naver happended

  12. i was expecting dune buggies. will there be vehicles of any kind? a bike? skating around Destiny will look pretty cool, right? how about a jetpack? i need something that gives that group more of an edge. we already seen puddle jumpers before and MALPs, thats like giving Bond the same car again for his next movie with the same functions, same goes for Bond girls.

  13. Possible movie titles:

    Stargate Altantis: The Path Home
    Stargate Altantis: Todd’s Place (I’m being Silly)
    Stargate Altantis: New Horizon (I was going say Event Horizon, but than I remember a movie was named that)
    Stargate Altantis: Mother Earth (hubby’s idea)

  14. Since you’ve recommended a couple of his books, his new book comes out soon..So the closest he is getting to you is Seattle..incase you wanted to know.

    China Mieville
    Third Place Books
    17171 Bothell Way NE, Ste. A101
    Seattle, WA 98155
    6/4/2009
    6:30 PM
    Confirmed

  15. So, basically, when you least expect it, expect it! Ha! Ashley would appear to have the upper hand!

  16. Odd question: I have a Vancouver friend who wants to make grits, but can’t find any at the store. Do you know of a local source? Or perhaps a Mexican store that would have hominy?

    Thanks.

  17. “Despite coming in at a whopping 18 000 words (I know, I know. Pretty damn presumptuous for my first professional sale.), it will make it into the anthology. ”

    Congratulations!

    Of course, it depends on how you define “professional” sale. Given the writing you’ve done for Stargate, this is far from a first professional sale; if you go by the definitions used by SFWA, for example, they allow people to join as full Active members on the basis of one produced script. So you’ve had quite a few professional sales by this point.

    But given how different prose fiction is from scripts… again, congratulations!

  18. This is exactly the kind if thing that happens to me at work. I’m always so friendly to my coworker Brian, and he always acts so suspicious. Our offices sound very alike, except we don’t get to order pizza for lunch.

    Have you guys implemented the fail sign yet? It can be a lot of fun.

    http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/6679/n6646703006188963822998s.jpg

    Of course, that’s just part time. The real comparisons can be drawn from my study- the nursing I’m doing in aged care. Paranoia everywhere. You would fit right in.

    Anyway, way to go with the short(ish) story! The dogs must be so proud.

  19. Hi Mr Mallozzi

    I have a question about Ashley : she is cute but is she really an evil person?
    Because I suggest you to check the coffee you drink every morning, just in case!

    Bye

  20. 1. Thanks for the update on Jason. 🙂 Glad to hear he’s doing well!

    2. I think you need a statue of Ashleigh to add to your supervillain collection.

    3. “…his way of letting us now that he can’t very well come up with a freakin’ title…”

    DENI!!!!! *points accusingly at Joe*

    4. “…he gave it a much-appreciated thumbs up and had very nice things to say (and not just “You‘re a terrific speller!”…”

    Yeah. THAT ain’t happenin’…

    😉

    das

  21. Well, now that he’s the fittest he’s ever been, can we get a shirtless Ronon scene in the film? I mean we’ve seen Shep shirtless a few times and hey I certainly wouldn’t mind seeing more of that, but why not give Ronon the same opportunity to woo female hearts?

    On a whole different note, did Jason’s wife give birth yet? I thought she was preggies?

  22. As for the scar, leave it man. “Sparring accident”, lol. Maybe even add a nice little scene where Shep denies having anything to do with it, then zooming into the gate tech chick girlfriend looking guiltily or something… Whehehe.

  23. Hey Joe,

    Ok… here are my suggestions for SGA movie titles. And since I’ll have to guess in which direction the movie is going, each title obviously reflects my best guesses:

    SGA: Movin’ on Up!
    The gang gets an apartment in the sky. You also are adding a new character, Weezie, to the cast.

    SGA: The Temple of Total Doom
    Now this might seem like a rip off of another movie. I added the word TOTAL making it very different. It implies it’s even THAT more difficult to escape the doom of said temple.

    SGA: In Search of Ford
    I know what you’re thinking… sounds a bit like that movie where another space-traveling gang is looking for some vulcan guy. But the difference here is they are searching for Ford because he’s now a mortal enemy and they need to kill him.

    SGA: The Land Before Time
    They find dinosaurs. It’s freakin’ awesome.

    SGA: A very SPECIAL Episode
    Ronon thinks he might experiment with drugs. Teyla talks him out of it. Rodney feels like he doesn’t fit in. John helps Rodney to learn to expect himself even if he’s too geeky to fit in. Sam Carter finds out she’s pregnant and Woolsey helps her tell her parents. Keller has an eating disorder: She’ll only eat chicken nuggets. Carson helps Keller discover other foods and learn the importance of a well-rounded meal.

    SGA: Curse of the Wraith-Rabbit
    Running around San Fran is a mysterious creature. They think at first it’s a wraith… turns out it’s no ordinary wraith. It’s got bunny ears!

    Okay… I’ll stop now. But if you need help with titles you know where to find me. 😀

    Trish

  24. Hi Joe,

    Really glad to hear that Jason is doing well and coming back as Ronon.

    Question: As Teyla,Rodney and now Ronon have all hooked up, is Shep going to get a love interest in the film?

    POEDerby was asking if any of the cast came back to do commentarys in seasons 1 – 3. The only two that I can remember was Joe Flannigan with Martin Wood in Rising and David Hewlett and Joe Flannigan in The Lost Boys.

    Also I have heard a rumor that Blakes 7 is being remade.
    Do you know anything about this? If it is true, I think that David Hewlett would make a great Villa.

  25. dasNdanger And PG15: Thank you for your thoughts on Star Trek movie. I suppose it is a clever way for the writers to get around the other movies. Just seems like a cheat. Other than the time line stuff, loved the movie!

    Mr. M.: You aren’t really paranoid if they ARE out to get you.
    Tam

  26. Mmm, ninja rabbits. Mighty tasty.

    While Sappho’s can of tuna is quite good, try beating up and bruising a potato, then tucking it into an air duct. Nothing smells quite like a rotten potato.

    But for truly gross, purchase a gallon bucket of frozen pig’s blood. No, really, you can get it in Asian markets. A little thawing and it will slide out of the bucket in a lump. Place it in a locker or bottom desk drawer on a Friday afternoon. Monday morning = apparent crime scene. Really, I never did this. How could I do something so horrible? (buwahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa)

  27. LOVE the movie titles and descriptions! 😆

    I wish I was feeling clever, but lately…I dunno…I’m not feeling very creative. 🙁

    Anyway – Joe…a couple questions if you can squeeze them into a future mailbag…

    I asked this long ago and you ignored (which you’ll probably do again, ya li’l stinker, you! 😉 )…but I’ll give it a try…

    1. We know that the Iratus bug that attacked Sheppard was in a sort of web, and in The Defiant One the Wraith webbed up his victim, suggesting that – perhaps – he produced the web/silk from his own body. So, in your mind (or had it ever been discussed), do Wraith have the ability to produce ‘silk’ from their bodies, and if so…from where? And if they do – and if it’s from their hand – do those little openings around the feeding slit play a part?

    2. Since a Wraith – by definition – is a doppelganger, has this ever been taken into consideration in how Sheppard and Todd deal with each other? Todd, the ‘harbinger of bad luck’, ‘haunting’ his double – Sheppard – always present, reminding John of his darker side? Or am I just thinking too hard about this…lol.

    Thankies in advance!

    das

  28. Ashleigh is graduating from demigoddess to full blown goddess. She has you sooooo under her control. With only a smile and a cheerful voice, she has you doing all the work in harrassing yourself. But at this rate, between her and the workmen/burglars you’re busy chasing off we may all have to chip in some funds to get you a checkup and a prescription for your blood pressure meds. Can’t have you getting ill just as you’re about to be published, AND starting work on a comic.
    I don’t think Mr. Binder was trying to think up a title. I think he was eyeing a spot in the ceiling where a booby trap could be set. IV setups are wonderful things to rig up in a drop ceiling. The IV cather tip can only be seen at close inspection, the tubing length allows you to put the IV bag some distance away, and you can vary from annoying intermittant drips to the full bore flooding that soaks their sandwhiches, pizza, or 2010 pinup calender within seconds. Just talk to your medical consultant about obtaining the needed equipment….
    Nice to see Mr. Burnstein dropping in; I’ve about finished the BotM club selection and am looking forward to other people’s take on it. here’s to a safe and stress free day for everyone.

  29. where can we send fanmail…..for ashleigh? 😛

    I have a couple swinging scythes and a 5000lb rolling rock I need to get off my hands, is she interested?

    As per the Stargate Atlantis movie title, here is a few for your consideration;
    Stargate Atlantis Harmony
    Stargate Atlantis Middle Ground
    Stargate Atlantis Covenant
    Stargate Atlantis Lorne is Gay

  30. coucou Joseph!

    Vous allez bien? Lol vos photos XD…et si j’invente un titre du film de sga moi aussi j’aurai le droit à une copie du script lol? Que pensez vous de “l’ultime tentation” …et sa parler de ship =)♥♥

    Vous savez quoi? j’ai eu un 16 sur 20 en mathématique….c’est historique encore mieux que de gagner la coupe du monde! Je suis contente!

    Bisou =) A demain

  31. Dear Joe,

    What is the name of the Ori home galaxy? I’m sure the Ancients had a name for it. And is it in our local group of Galaxies? (Like Ida and Pegasus are) As a stargazer that kinda stuff is really important to me!

  32. All right Joe. I had a long conversation with Baby Girl and Chaplin last night. I am against twitter myself, being fans of the pugs, they wanted to support their twitter endeavor. So I have allowed Baby Girl and Chaplin to sign up and follow them. Saying this if the web starts becoming a negative influence on either one of them then I will have to cancel their account. They would like for me to also say that they want Jelly to know they love the last pic that was posted.

  33. I wonder… if we all smiled like Ashleigh at the same time, would we make Joe’s headesplode?

    I’m willing to give it a try… 😈

    Oh, and as far as the Atlantis movie title, how about…

    Stargate Atlantis: It’s Not Your Grandkid’s Universe

    😉

    das

  34. Oh, yeah…I wanna send fanmail to Ashleigh, too!! (Thanks for the idea, Quade1!) Oh, and Stargate Atlantis: Lorne is Gay?! 😆 Good one!

    das

  35. Hi Joe,

    I think Ashleigh’s taking a page out of the M*A*S*H episode ‘The Joker is Wild.’ It’s where BJ threatens a prank on Hawkeye, so he suspects everyone and everything, but in the end it was just the “threat” of the practical joke that was the joke! A classic episode that seems right up Ashleigh’s alley! What will she think of next?? You go girl!

    Congrats on your “short” story passing inspection. Looking forward to hearing all about it from your editor.

    Well, your Canadians are out, Kerry’s Canucks are out, but my Red Wings are still in it! Game 7 tonight to beat the Ducks.

    All I can say is GO WINGS! 🙂
    Patty O

  36. Monster Trucks would be too dangerous in Stargate, for one they are giant targets, if someone like the Wraith/Goauld or some evil alien race were firing on you, itd be like suicide.

  37. Oh when I left my question for the mailbag I meant to say…

    Can I please send you the link to my video that is much better than the video I showed you?

    Thanks so much,
    Major D. Davis

  38. Noooo! Don’t you see, Joe? Ashleigh used the old “Act Happy” trick on you! All she had to do is pretend to be happy in this dead-end job, and get you to do all the work of annoying yourself! Come on, Joe! You’re far too devious to fall for an old trick like this! What’s going on? Are you (platonically) smitten by Ashleigh? Is that it? Are you under her female powers of (platonic) seduction? My God.

    I mean, I don’t blame you. She is pretty hot.

    Still, when’s that revenge coming? It better be good.

    Speaking of which, you aren’t kidding when you say that you guys can’t come up with a non-Star Trek and non-SG1 title. “The Quickening” is actually the title of an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. How about…Stargate: Pegasus. Simple, yet effective. Or, or:

    Stargate: Pegasus Rising

    It’s like, a metaphor and stuff. AND it references the Atlantis galaxy. AND it references the pilot episode of SGA. Lovely, no? If you use it, I expect royalties. You don’t have to pay me or anything though; all I ask for is a tour of Bridge Studios. Oh, another good one:

    Stargate: The Wrath of the Wraith

    Hahaha. Oh, I’m good.

    Anyways, congratulations on getting your story into the anthology! I don’t read books much, but I think I’ll make an exception for this one. Yes, I will go to the book store and skim through your story! It will be grand!

  39. Hey Joe, did Joel forget about us? It’s been forever!

    @Das: Wishing you luck for Friday 🙂 I waited an hour at the endo’s office, obviously bored to tears sitting in a small room with dumbass pictures on the wall so I stepped outside the door for a little “fresh” air. I was looking at the next set of dumbass pictures on the hallway wall when a nurse comes by and snottily tells me in a very loud voice that my being in the hallway is against HIPAA regulations because other patients are walking there (WTF?). I had a nasty migraine (yep, the frackin’ meds they gave me) and was not in the mood for this nonsense, so I told her to go and get the HIPAA cops and have them arrest me. She ordered me back in the room, I told her to call the fashion police while she was at it because her outfit was a crime. You get the idea, hey? I finally gave in, went back in the room and waited another 30 mintues. They’ve got a sign on the wall that says that if you want copies of your lab orders they will charge you $10 because “our time is as valuable as yours”. Again, WTF? Need I tell you how the rest of the visit went? 🙂 Got a prescription for the anti-thyroid meds, a perfunctory “physical” (the doctor felt the thyroid and listenend to my heart), was allowed 3 questions and I was outta dere. See? You’re not the only one. These people suck! I did, however, tell the doctor that apparently my time isn’t as valuable as hers 🙂 She didn’t like that.

  40. Have the staff/crew (Ashleigh and Carl, particularly) gotten annoyed at you yet for taking pictures of them all the time? Are there any restraining orders against you that we should know about?

  41. haha,
    And I totally messed up on a presentation. I didn’t use notecards and totally forgot almost all that I was going to say. I just stood there for like 20 seconds trying to remember. SOOOO EMBERASSING!!!!!

  42. Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly outdo yourself, you proved me wrong. Yes, you guessed it: I’m referring to your use of italics in your response to Narelle from Aus. It took my breath away. So now I’m reminiscing about that one part from Top Gun, except with a young and (apparently) clean Charlie Sheen instead of Tom Cruise. Mix things around a bit, and getting out of uniform into tight clinch with hot astrophysicist in women’s restroom might never be funnier.

    Gotta watch out for hydrochloric acid. Always. Think “favorite men’s cologne” and “underpaid salesperson suddenly books first-class for two weeks in Tahiti.”

    Ahhhhhaha, I’m laughing my fool head off reading your blog. Between your tear-inducing entry and the large number of incredibly funny responses it garnered, I’ll be grinning until I have to get back to prepwork for a summer course in organic chem. So many acids, so little time.

    – Yes indeed, congrats on getting your first major prose fiction (correct?) published big-time! As a former local-rag copyeditor, I find that exciting.

    Thanks again for the hilarity. And for the update on *coughs* sweetheart Jason Momoa.

    The Other Amelia

  43. Ashleigh has you wrapped around her little finger, doesn’t she? I love this woman. When a suspicious good morning leaves you to wonder all day, and then a goodbye as you leave thinks there is still something coming at you, that is about as good as it gets. She is definitely a keeper and I’m definitely a fan of her. Just as I loved the back-and-forth with our favorite Stargate characters; this is just as fun.

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