Regulars to my blog will know that I am a relatively fearless person. With the exception of snakes, komodo dragons, massive script rewrites, and the cursed furry-skinned kiwi fruit, there isn’t much that scares me. Oh, yeah, heights. I really, really hate heights – so I guess that makes me acrophobic (which is either an irrational fear of heights or an irrational fear of acrobats although, come to think of it, in my case, both apply). Just the sight of someone I know stepping out onto a balcony is enough to make me nervous. So you can imagine my discomfort this past Thursday and Friday, as I watched Jewel and Amanda make like a couple of Cirque de Soleil vets to brave Stargate’s version of the high-wire. Jewel, who obviously has no problem with dizzying heights as evidenced by her choosing to do the Missing rope bridge sequence sans stunt double, was a veritable monkey up there – scampering up that ladder and along the crossbeams, showing off for the camera. Amanda, on the other hand who coincidentally shares my pronounced dislike for lofty elevations, demonstrated great courage in clambering up and executing her own maybe-not-death-but-certainly-serious-injury-defying walk. Both were harnessed and had director Martin Wood,and stunt coordinator Bam Bam standing by to walk them through it. I, of course, was on hand to spot, standing beneath them, arms outstretched, prepared to break their fall should the need arise. Fortunately, the need did no arise – not even when they tilted the set 20 degrees.
Unfortunately, the pics I snapped aren’t the greatest (too dark and the flash kept on firing up everyone’s eyes despite the red-eye reduction setting on my cam). Still, you get the idea.
Another email to my melvinskidnappers account and another automated out-of-office response:
“The kidnappers you seek will be out of the office from August 27th to September 14th. In the meantime, please feel free to make use of our automated response system. The heading of your email –
Congratulations… Lucky__Winner
– indicates you are inquiring about the following kidnap victim:
The San Bonadito Ladies Choir Featuring Hazel Dumply
Best known for their hip hop version of What A Friend We Have in Jesus, the San Bonadito Ladies Choir featuring Hazel Dumply has been entertaining fellow county parishioners for almost half a decade. Despite the fact that the median age of the choir members is a hoary 85, SBLCfHD maintains a busy tour schedule, singing for everyone from city aldermen to critical care patients who have little choice in the matter. Their contemporary spins on respected classics, annoyingly upbeat performances, and propensity to break into song at the slightest provocation has won them the antipathy of many a friend and neighbor.
Date of kidnapping: May 27, 2007.
Ransom demanded: No reasonable offer will be refused.
Status: Originally $250 000 was demanded for the safe return of all twelve choir members including Ms. Dumply but, following a surprisingly disinterested response from family and fellow parishioners, that number was dropped to $100 000. Then $30 000. Then $12 000. Then $1200. For Godsakes, at least let us break even on the cost of feeding them these past four months!
If this is the correct kidnap victim, please leave us a detailed message including your name, your counter-offer (if applicable), and an email or phone number where you can be reached.
Thank you,
Mr. Kidnapper 🙂
Today’s pics: The harness test including (a harnessed-up Amanda, Jewel, Martin Wood, and stunt person, a concerned-producer photo compliments of Lawren).
Today’s video: Click on the date. Next week, we’re going to make her wrestle an alligator!
The mailbag is back –
Anonymous #1 writes: “Will there be much McKay whump in this new series? Emotional and physical!”
Answer: Yes, both.
Susan the Turtle writes: “Does this mean your big trip to the great outdoors is at an end?”
Answer: Yup. Trio will take place on our standing set while Outcast will take me out and about again, but to heavily forested surroundings.
Susan the Turtle also writes: “What is the average amount of days taken to film one episode? Is there a set formulae for writing an episode?”
Answer: It takes approximately seven days to shoot an episode. Every Stargate episode follows the same structure: Tease and five acts.
Jedi writes: “ Will we ever get to see Sheppard use the stick fighting skills he’s acquired from Teyla, other then just sparring?”
Answer: Not this year.
Kimberly writes: “We all want the ratings to be very high so there will be a season 5 so how do we help that along?”
Answer: Seriously? Tune in. Find someone who has a Nielsen box and make sure they tune in.
Arctic Goddess writes: “ Looking at the pictures of all those people working so hard to make Atlantis happen, I thought I would create my own personal tribute to them: Hinterland Who’s Who”
Answer: Can we get Lorne Greene to do the voice-over?
Iamza writes: “The JM book club thing — that’s still taking place at the end of the month, right?”
Answer: Yup. Hogfather and Excession are on tap (Just as soon as I finish the tedious scifi novel someone recommended).
Mrs.B108 writes: “ 1)Will we see any angsty rage from Sheppard this year? 2)Would you say this season packs more of an emotional punch than the past three?”
Answers: Yes and Definitely.
Anonymous #2 writes: “If you could describe “The Kindred” parts 1 + 2 in one word, how would you describe the episodes?”
Answer: Dovetail.
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