Among wild conspiracy theories, this is truly the wildest. Project Anchor is purportedly a secret NASA project preparing for a gravitational anomaly on August 12th, when Earth will lose gravity for 7 seconds due to the intersection of gravitational waves from two black holes. Prepare accordingly!
I posted this to X last night. It received almost 250k views – and a lot of comments from people admonishing me and laying out why, exactly, this could NOT happen.
Today, I responded –
First and foremost, thank you to everyone who took the time to tell me how gravity works. My high school physics education was, in hindsight, woefully inadequate. Thus, while I respectfully defer to your sanctimonious sermonizing and angry tirading, I can’t help but point out that even though this conspiracy theory has no grounding – for seven seconds on August 12th, neither will we.
Likely, you’re right and nothing happens. But what if you’re wrong and 10:33 a.m. on the day finds you sailing skywards like my grandmother, a former circus clown, that time she was shot out of cannon? Do you really want to find yourself floating about the thermosphere with your significant other berating you for “not listening to Joe?”.
You owe it to everyone to, at the very least, take the following simple precautions:
1 – Avoid carbonated beverages on the day.
2 – Empty your pockets of loose change.
3 – Drain your pool.
4 – Make sure the toilet lid is down.
5 – Install seatbelts on your office chairs.
6 – Super-glue your car to the driveway.
7 – Nail every piece of furniture to the floor. Wrap fragile household items and elderly family members in bubble wrap.
8 – Outfit your loved ones and pets with jet packs. Parachutes are the cheaper alternative, but not as cool. If parachutes are still out of your price range, then invest in a helmet so that at least it will make it easier to identify you through dental records.
9 – What comes up must come down. More than likely on your car. Make sure your insurance is up to date and includes a Skyfall Comprehensive rider.
10 – Move to Australia. They’re already upside-down relative to the rest of the planet, so when gravity flips you’ll be the only ones right-side-up.
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