Hey, you know that feeling of overwhelming fullness you chalk up to overeating or a spicy meal or a week’s worth of bad coffee and wholesale chocolate chip cookies that actually turns out to be food poisoning? Well, that’s what I’m feeling right about now.
Was it the spicy pork?
The sushi I had for lunch?
Or – ironies of ironies! – the sliced cucumber adornments that accompanied tonight’s dinner?
I’ve been down this road, people! I recognize the signs! Feeling overstuffed, even though I didn’t eat all that much. Sore. Lightheaded. Slower to solve complex algebraic equations.
It’s like that time I had the sketchy ground chicken. Or the time I had that suspect kebab. Or that time I had the bad ramen. Or the time I had that other bad ramen.