Did I mention we bought a new place? Yes? No? Well, we bought a new place. After months of searching, we finally found something we liked and pulled the trigger. We take possession June 1st and will begin our move away from the only home we’ve known in the entirety of my various stays in Toronto.
Goodbye, tiny kitchen, with your cracked stove top and busted dishwasher.
Farewell, upstairs bathroom, with your broken shower arm that forced us to manually operate the shower head like that time I went to Paris on business. Also your shallow, raised single sink, impossible for a couple to properly share.
Adieu to windows that never quite sealed when shut, permitting entrance to everything from the bitter cold to the drunken shouts of Friday night revelers.
Sayanora to all of your weird fucking lights, from your inaccessible bulbs impossible to change to the stooping lamp that hangs over the kitchen table at just the right height and angle for you to continually bang your head against.
Arrivederci, uncomfortable living room couch, which replaced the admittedly even more uncomfortable couch that preceded it.
Auf Wiedersehen washing machine that can barely handle more than three shirts at a time.
Adios, dryer, with your startling end of cycle alert akin to the deafening alarm that signals the release of cell doors in Gen Pop.
So long, terrace that has become a dumping ground for various sundry items other tenants couldn’t be bothered to trash: cigarette butts, coat hangers, water cans and, most recently, an empty 64 oz V8 tomato juice container.
You will not be missed.