Akemi walked back into the apartment and announced: “I threw the garbage down the garbage shooter.”

“Garbage chute,”I corrected her.

“Garbage shooter,”she corrected herself.

“No,”I said. “Garbage shoot.  Not shooter.”

“Ah,”she said, realization dawning.  “Garbage shoot because it shoots the garbage downstairs.  I’M the garbage shooter.”

“No,”I said, my frustration mounting.  “It’s garbage chute.  C-H-U-T-E.  Not garbage shoot.  S-H-O-O-T.”

She paused to consider.  Then: “How do you say when a soccer player kicks the ball at the net?”

“He shoots – ”

“So like I shoot the garbage downstairs – ”

“No, but – ”

“Shoots.  Shoots.”

“C-H-U-T…” But she was no longer listening, focused as she was on miming the various shots she was taking on some imaginary net.

Anyways, Akemi wanted me to display for you this (presently) one-of-a-kind Suji t-shirt she had custom-made as a test sample.

February 5, 2018: Right Down The Ole Garbage Shoot!

If anyone would like this unisex medium black tee with a 17 inch width, 26.25 inch length, and 12 inch sleeve center back in 100% cotton, just leave a note in the comment section and I’ll have Suji randomly pick someone by tomorrow’s blog entry.

February 5, 2018: Right Down The Ole Garbage Shoot!

Bonne chance!

February 5, 2018: Right Down The Ole Garbage Shoot!


32 thoughts on “February 5, 2018: Right down the ole garbage shoot!

  1. Brilliant.Well she sounds pretty logical to me and logic always wins over linguistic common sense.

  2. Awww I love Akemi-isms. The English language doesn’t always make sense to us native speakers either.

  3. I feel a Suji Shirt tongue twister coming on, but I’ll try to control myself.

    My 2 favorite lines from Division Street, a play I saw at the Mark Taper Forum:

    That takes the cupcake! And… now you will feel the grapes of my wrath!

    Please, God’s of random, let Suji choose me!

  4. Random Suji shirt for Akemi to shoot to me through a mail chute? Yes please!

  5. I’m not sure which language is harder to learn. Japanese has a metric ton of cultural baggage. But then English has a metric ton of cultural baggage from a dozen different cultures.

  6. When, if ever, are you going to realise that womens logic is different ot mens. added to that there are cultrual differences that you have to get used to. Akemi rocks, get used to it and enjoy. Thats why you like her so much!

  7. Omg! I would looove to have that shirt! Technically akemi could still be the shooter of garbage down the chute :p so I guess I’m on her side, lol!

  8. Joe, you need to incorporate all of these Akemi-isms into your next TV project. They are so honest and precious–comedy gold.

  9. oh the fun with English; the homonym and homograph. I remember my time in Thailand when I was making a visit to Phuket, that’s poo not foo as Thai pronunciation and Anglicized spelling diverge, from my home village of Trang (that is pronounced D-r – ong like in song) was at a bar and talking to a fellow citizen when I was talking about Thai and the many accents may cause different meanings like cow… Cow!, cow?, cow. coww.. meaning they, rice, white, etc. It made her laugh and caused her drink to go up her nose.

  10. So I just wasted about twenty minutes looking up the derivations of ‘chute’ (vulgate latin and middle french if you’re interested) and ‘shoot’ (old english/germanic in origin)…I find Akemi’s english language travails to be educational in a number of different ways. 🙂

    As for the Suji tee-shirt, I could see a number of situations where Suji sticking her tongue out at people would be an appropriate response. Especially for those people who never thank anyone for holding the door open for them… 🙂

  11. When I was a kid the Vietnam War was going on and I would hear news of guerrillas coming out of the forest and attacking soldiers. Only, I thought they were talking about actual…ya know… gorillas. 😛 Now, I could be forgiven for such a mistake, seeing as how I was a kid and all. However…I didn’t realize that they were actually people until I saw the word ‘guerrilla’ written out many years later, when I was about 20 years old. Up to that time I thought war was fought with trained gorillas. 😛 😛

    1. Sweet Dark Matter item there. And it would go well over a Suji T shirt!
      Cool Dude!

  12. Will Akemi consider other sizes?
    cause….the picture has generated a big “want” in my head.
    But alas…I ain’t a medium…sigh.
    Just asking…just in case.

  13. Akemi is right, English is dumb. That reminds me I’m suppose to be learning Spanish in my retirement.

  14. To be honest I like her version better. “I am the garbage shooter”….this may make me want to take out the garbage.

  15. @Elminster, cool swag! Chute is such a rare word to write down, so go with shoot for now until that future time when there is a prime minster, chocolate or tasty pepper named Chute.

    I love tee shirt Suji! Tho I think a winter Suji sweater works best in these artic times.

  16. And this was why I loved teaching conversational English in Japan so much, getting to explore the weird twists and turns of such a crazy language.

  17. That is an adorable T-shirt. Great copy of Suji, too.

    And Akemisms are wonderful. She makes a lot of sense of how nonsensical some of the English language is.

    We try to avoid black garments around here. Boomer’s white hair shows up on anything super dark. And his hair is everywhere.

  18. Cute t-shirt!! It’s like Suji is giving us “a raspberry”. Her pins have been a hit! What’s next?

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