I'm no "expert", but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say no to both.
I’m no “expert”, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say no to both.

Those who make fun of FOX News clearly have not taken the time to check out CNN lately or, as I like to call it, The Jodi Arias Missing Malaysian Airline Network.  Their anchors are always indignant, voicing their theatrical outrage about something or other.  But, every so often, we’re treated to actual hard news.  Like the other day, for instance, when viewers received confirmation that Flight 370 was probably NOT swallowed by a black hole.  I know, I know.  It seems like a reach, but it’s good to get that reassurance.  : Anchor Don Lemon asked the, uh, “experts” the hard-hitting question: “Is it preposterous?”: CNN’s Don Lemon: ‘Is It Preposterous’ to Think a Black Hole Caused Flight 370 to Go Missing?  As it turns out – Yes, yes it is, Don. Also, not to nitpick the “expert”, but equally preposterous is the notion that a small black hole would “suck in our entire universe”.

Mmmm.  What's cooking?  Oh?  Your damp socks?
Mmmm. What’s cooking? Oh? Your damp socks?

Imagine how much weight Jared would have lost if he’d eaten these instead?  http://metro.co.uk/2014/03/18/was-it-a-footlong-subway-worker-caught-drying-her-wet-socks-in-bread-oven-4642098/

1Then what is it?  Find out here: Don’t trust your eyes! Let these unique pieces of art challenge your perception of reality


A little girl and her dog.  [Note to Das: Not sad.  Okay to click!] http://www.boredpanda.com/harper-lola-dog-friendship-rebecca-leimbach/

1Who are the bitchiest most defensive fans in America?  Jut in time for March Madness, Deadspin breaks down their Bitchy Brackets.  http://deadspin.com/who-are-the-bitchiest-most-defensive-fans-in-america-1542968511.  I’m taking Paleo Dieters to pulls the first round upset over New Jerseyites.

Kids are leaving Facebook.  Where are they going?  The answer may surprise you:


Via our pal Martin Gero: Another reason you should be eating dark chocolate.  http://io9.com/why-dark-chocolate-is-so-damn-good-for-you-1546437895

1And, on the other hand, there’s this study: Study Links Meat, Sugar Consumption To Early Death Among Those Who Choose To Be Happy In Life

In the unlikely event I missed some news of note, please enlighten us in the comments section of this blog.


20 thoughts on “March 20, 2014: News of note!

  1. How sad is it that ONN is less of a parody of news than CNN or its ilk. I haven’t watched those network news channels for ages because, well, they’re crap. If I want that type of news I’ll go here: http://weeklyworldnews.com/

    Re: the food – everything in moderation! Except that food art, feel free to indulge!

    There’s something vaguely surreal about those dog/girl pics.

  2. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place at the moment. I want news of the Malaysian Airlines plane however I want to avoid the usual Aussie thing, where our news inflates our angle on the story. All we’ll hear is how we found the plane, or not as the case may be. All that really matters is for someone to find the plane, so the families have closure.

    Has anyone filled out a bracket in March Madness. I did last night. Strangely when I logged into ESPN this morning I can’t see a bracket or any link to view my bracket to see how it is going. #WebsiteFail

    I believe I have Wichita State for the win. haha!

    Cheers, Chev

  3. I’ll say this about CNN coverage of MH370: Jim Tilmon gives the same common-sense answers that my late father (also commercial pilot) would have. BTW, Daddy flew the L-1011 for Eastern Air Lines; he called the EA401 ghost stories “baloney”.

  4. i don’t like dark chocolate, i don’t care how good it’s supposed to be for you.
    did you hear about the dark chocolate pills? all the benefits, without the taste. 😛

    about the subway story; it seems like a lot of restaurant workers are doing dumb-ass things. remember the guy who took a bath in a kitchen sink? not only are these people stupid enough to do these things, they’re stupid enough to post evidence on-line.

  5. @archersangel: Dark chocolate pills? Blaspemy!!!!!

    The girl and her dog was really sweet. I can verify that it is safe for das to view.

    The food art was amazing! Thanks, Joe. But the deer???

  6. @that a small black hole would “suck in our entire universe”.

    Someone actually said that? Incredible, I’m no expert on the universe but I don’t think that could ever be possible, no blackhole could ever reach that size, ever. There simply wouldn’t be enough material to allow them to grow that size, you only have to see how most galaxies have a super massive blackhole that’s likely millions/billions of years old that take up a very small amount of space in the grand scheme of things.

    Anyway, while I don’t believe in it. I like the theory that the universe could be a simulation, it makes me wonder what could be on the other side? I think most people who have looked up at the sky and have wondered about the universe at some point have thought, what is outside the universe? If anything. I don’t think the universe is expanding into nothing.

  7. And on the flight MH370 subject, my heart goes out to the poor families who must be worried to death about there loved ones, friends etc. I hope it’s found one way or another, preferably with the people still alive. I find it hard to believe that a plane could just vanish in this day and age, surely some country must have some idea where it is?

  8. That lost Flight MH370 reminds me of when golfer Payne Stewart died. Flying in a small plane, the crew and passengers were overcome by carbon monoxide venting inside the plane. The pilot had the plane on autopilot when everyone just went to sleep and died. The plane flew on, nobody in control, until it ran out of fuel and came down. I wonder if something like that could have happened to Flight MH370?

    And also Tam Dixon, the story of that man who died, woke up in the morgue, then died again 2 weeks later… I just wonder why he was given 2 more weeks? What was the purpose of 2 more weeks? I wonder if he accomplished anything during that time. I just wonder why?

    Life is such a mystery sometimes.

  9. The girl and her dog made me sad…I just kept thinking what’s that poor girl gonna do when the dog dies?!

    (Honestly, I did. NEVER tell me something won’t be depressing because I WILL then find the down side. I think I need therapy. 😛 )

    Also…if chocolate is so good for you, then why the hell am I Jabba the Hutt instead of the absolute picture of health??

    What the hell are you talking about? CNN finally got interesting!! Geez…at least they aren’t reporting on Justin Bieber anymore…

    I hate teenagers. Who gives a flying fig if they’re on faceboob or not?

    Why would someone deliberately f-up a perfectly good banana? What the hell’s the world coming to?? Next thing ya know we’ll have human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria! Just you wait and see.

    And New Jerseyites are NOT bitchy…



    Or…mebbe we are. 😛


  10. Just for the record, I was reading up on Payne Stewart’s death, and they thought shortly after taking off from Orlando, Florida, in route to Dallas, Texas, the plane suddenly lost cabin pressure, killing everyone. It flew by itself until crashing in South Dakota.

  11. WHAT. CNN is in the shitter, FOX is Bullshit Mountain (ala Jon Stewart), and MSNBC may have the only poli sci degree holding reporter but it’s pretty irrelevant. That state of news is pathetic.

    However, I would totally watch the Syfy original movie with a black hole swallowing a plane.

  12. re: fsmn36 — I would totally watch the Syfy original movie with a black hole swallowing a plane.

    The Langoliers is close. There’s a plane and it goes someplace…

  13. What is this “cable news” you speak of anyway? ;P

    I get my news from Twitter. Seriously. It’s fast and amazingly accurate. And really, it’s hard to mess up a story in 140 characters or less. Ok, ok. I actually watch Bay News 9. It’s accurate on our weather. And living in Florida it’s important to know when the massive thunderstorms are headed my way. Also tornadoes and hurricanes. Plus it’s how I found out about the baby otters at the aquarium. (Awwww!)

    Dark chocolate FTW! *\o/* Obviously I need to eat MORE of it.

    I think ALIEMS are responsible for that plane missing. Ok.. Not really. Maybe. I don’t know. I just don’t understand how an entire plane can go missing like that. We’re not talking about a leetle Cessna. Shouldn’t the NSA know? Or are they only reading MY email, texts and social media and following MY car on satellite pictures? (And by me I mean all Americans and probably a few Canadians and Mexicans, too)

    This is why I believe there could possibly be a bigfoot out there. If an entire plane can go missing then why can’t an entire species remain hidden? Especially in parts of Canada. You guys have so much wilderness.

    I just don’t think Bigfoot is responsible for the missing plane.


  14. I concur with Gforce. News shows generally suck.

    Every time something happens the “news anchors” (or whatever their called) literally stand (or sit) around and make stuff up in order to fill airtime.

    I don’t need to watch the news to make uninformed guesses about what might be happening. I can do that by myself quite well, thank you very much.

    The modern North American news channel gives us almost nothing of substance.

    I’m sure every Stargate Universe fan is aware, if a mini black hole was in our planet, we would know it. We’d currently be kissing our tuchus goodbye.

    And black holes do not reach out and suck everything around them down into it’s gaping maw. Objects have to fall into the event horizon to be sucked in. For example, if our sun was suddenly replaced by a black hole of equal mass, the planets would continue to orbit it just as they have always done.

    There is a massive black hole in the middle of our Milky Way galaxy, called Sagittarius A. Astronomers have assembled pictures from the European Southern Observatory telescopes and mapped the motion of the stars orbiting the black hole. They subsequently made a kind of time lapse video of stars orbiting it:


    A black hole operates much like any other gravitational object, in that in order for something to fall into it the object must get close enough. Sagittarius A is currently quiet, no large amounts of material are currently falling into it, otherwise astronomers would not have been able to see the stars around it, because the debris and energy of the objects destruction would have blocked the view.

    Sagittarius A’s mass is equivalent to four million suns.

  15. @Mike from Canada

    That’s quite interesting. Personally I just assumed that the Supermassive blackhole at the center of our Galaxy likely came from a Super/Hyper giant Star at some point early in the galaxies formation. I could be wrong though lol.

  16. On flight MH370, I’m waiting for someone to claim “Gremlins!” and then show clips of the Twilight Zone episode with William Shatner and the spectre on the wing. At least it is a better explanation than the black hole or aliens…although not by much. 😉

  17. Having no real answers must be terribly difficult on the families. If there was some certainty, they could face it and grieve. They will always hold out hope that it was hijacked and the people are still alive somewhere—anywhere–until someone shows them otherwise. And with no real answers why someone might have done their loved ones harm. My heart hurts for them.

    That art work of food–I like the potato the best.

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