Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog

August 19, 2011: Shit My Japanese Girlfriend Says!

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“Truffles taste like old man’s pillow.” – Akemi, August 19 2011.

I’m thinking of starting a twitter account called “Shit My Japanese Girlfriend Says”.  Seriously.  Akemi is a seemingly endless reservoir of curious comments and comical expressions that I feel must be noted in some semi-official capacity.  And so – provided I remember – I’m going to start chronicling her most memorable turns of phrase and unique insights here on this blog.  And, boy, there’ve been some doozies to date.  Yep.  As Akemi would say: “Jesus Crisis!”.

On the Transporter front – we keep taking days out of the present shooting schedule and, as a result: a) I not only lose prep days but 2) the start date for my upcoming episode block keeps getting pulled up.  Anymore dropped scenes and I’ll have to start shooting Sharks and Payback last Thursday!  Today, I put out another Dieter scene to accompany the one yet to be shot for #102.  I also, put out a revised draft of #103 (Sharks) – only to receive notes mere moments after the latest version came out.  This weekend, I start revising Payback but, once that’s out, I’m sure it’ll be smooooooooooth sailing.

A somewhat discouraging call from the radiation oncologist at the small animal clinic where Maximus has been receiving treatment.  A sample of a swollen lymph node came back “suspicious”, so they’re going to have to start treating that area as well.  If the little guy’s lymph nodes have been compromised, he’s going to need those nutritional supplements more than ever – but he refuses to eat them, preferring to stick with his all chicken breast diet instead.

The oldsters (Maximus and Jelly) soak up the sun.

Finally, let me leave you with a pic of Akemi’s most recent Breakfast Bento Box creation.  She claims it’s “Elmo’s friend”…

Bert?

G’night.  Keep up the good work!

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33 responses

  1. Lisa R Avatar
    Lisa R

    Sorry to hear about Maximus. Hope your life calms down soon, but knowing you, probably not. 🙂 We had an eventful day. In addition to hubby’s video interview, we were involved in a freak car accident in a grocery store parking lot. When we went over the speed bump, we think the strut or spring that goes with the strut, jammed into the tire. But, it didn’t puncture it. Very weird.

    Have a good night!!

    Reply
  2. Lou Zucaro Avatar
    Lou Zucaro

    Make sure you tell us where the Twitter feed will be 😉

    Good luck with Maximus. Maybe they meant “suspicious” as in “that lymph node looks like a guy on tape who robbed a bank”?

    I’m guessing that is now Elmo’s former friend.

    Reply
  3. DP Avatar
    DP

    It’s Mr. Noodle’s brother, Mr. Noodle. Yes, he’s a very good friend of Elmo’s.

    Reply
  4. Deni Avatar
    Deni

    No, Joe, Bert is Ernie’s friend. 😉 Hey, have you tried Pill Pockets for Max’s supplements? They work wonders with my Cocker, and she hates everything. She usually catches on if there are too many pills involved, but I throw in an empty one as often as I need to and she keeps on eating them. Elway’s having another 5 pills a day now (4 SAMe 200 mg and 175 mg of Milk Thistle), but he’ll eat them with anything, he’s so easygoing. Have a good night!

    Reply
  5. Pamme Avatar
    Pamme

    Bummer on the suspicious lymph node…

    Reply
  6. Erica Avatar
    Erica

    Definitely Bert — I’d recognize that unibrow anywhere.

    Reply
  7. Akemi Avatar
    Akemi

    G’night♥

    Reply
  8. Susan TTT Avatar
    Susan TTT

    Joe – do you have any pictures of Maximus looking happy? I realise that as he is currently feeling poorly it would be a great effort for him to smile – but did he look happy as a puppy?

    My last cat, George, adopted me when he was in his teens. He was a typical grumpy old man and never looked happy – he used to stomp around the house muttering to himself. Thinking about him always make me smile. 🙂

    Give Maximus and his siblings a cuddle from me xx

    Susan

    Reply
  9. Susan TTT Avatar
    Susan TTT

    “Truffles taste like old man’s pillow.” – Akemi, August 19 2011.

    So – does Akemi like Truffles or not?

    Reply
  10. Ganymede Avatar
    Ganymede

    Put me down as a “Follower”!

    Reply
  11. archersangel Avatar
    archersangel

    my brother’s suggestions suggestions for the d-bag car or the douche-bag special, as he calls it; (apologies if anyone owns these)

    doge viper.
    corvette convertible. extra d-bag points if the guy pulls up to valet parking with the stereo blasting & yells at the valet to put up the roof to protect the leather seats from the sun.

    my dad suggests a dodge charger with 500 horse power or at least sounds like it has.

    Reply
  12. shane Avatar
    shane

    I can’t wait for the twitter feed you will have everyone in stitches I’m sure

    Reply
  13. Sg1efc Avatar
    Sg1efc

    My brother takes a pill and puts it between 2 small pieces of pre-sliced American cheese and nukes it on low for a few seconds, so it just starts to melt together. That way his dog will eat her pill. 🙂

    Now that I think about it, wondering if the heat is ok for the medicine inside the pill?

    Reply
  14. Ponytail Avatar
    Ponytail

    Sounds like the news with Maximus is going to be like the Stock Market. Up and down, up and down. I’ll keep praying for the best.

    You could start a side bar over to the right of Akemisms. You’re right, she is so cute. Do you think you are cute in what and how you say things when you go to Tokyo?

    As usual, awesome Bento box! Maybe the best one yet!

    Reply
  15. Shiny Avatar
    Shiny

    Maybe hiding the supplements in a little vanilla ice cream? Please give Max a hug from me, he’s a sweet little fella.

    Just spent 12 hours with no power; agony. Forget the melting fruit pops and tepid milk; have you tried going 12 hours without an internet connection? It was torture. Off to watch the rest of Kick Ass, and after that to see if I can wheedle my own personal Bloom Box from K.R. Sridhar.

    Reply
  16. dasndanger Avatar
    dasndanger

    That bento box is kinda scary…

    Hey, Joe, if you start a ‘shit my Japanese girlfriend says’ twitter, then I should do one for Mr. Das. Lord, can he mangle a phrase! He makes up his own words all the time, too. He certainly keeps life amusing. 🙂

    Early in our marriage he used to talk in his sleep a lot, and I caught him saying things like, ‘Total Vulcan mind meld’, and ‘look ma, no hands!’ complete with Bugs Bunny voice. I wish I had written everything down because – due to age and time – I have forgotten so much. In his waking state he’s equally amusing. Once, while giving instruction in a public speaking class, he told the students to ‘breathe through their feet’, and swore the AC/DC song lyrics were ‘dirty deeds and the thunder chiefs’. But one of the funniest utterances that came out of his mouth was during a meeting at his job a few years back, when he stood up and declared, “Never bite the hand that feeds the foot.”

    😕

    das

    Reply
  17. PBMom Avatar
    PBMom

    It will be cool as long as Akemi thinks it is cool.

    Sorry to hear about the suspicious thing with Maximus. I was going to suggest pill pockets, too. Are the supplements in capsules where you could open the capsule and mix it with, say, ice cream?

    Yesterday we went to the Terra Nova bus that came into town. My friend and I were going to do a “What happened to the scientists in Air 1, Part 3” SGU crossover. They did go to a jungle-like planet. And the settlers they encountered could have been from Novus (i.e., Terra Nova?). It was a total green screen thing where we get eaten by the dinosaur in the end. The thing with the SGU crossover just didn’t work. But we were determined to get something into the film and when we started shooting, we high-fived each other and screamed DESTINY.

    It’s mostly embarrassing, but sometimes you just have to be silly.

    Here is the link if anybody wants to watch it.

    http://journeytoterranova.com/video.php?v=LQ0o1FOn5qOH6pbx

    I have a new respect for actors who work on green screen. Oh, and this is funny. They told us the bright lights shining in our faces were called kinos. We laughed hysterically.

    Reply
  18. Debra Avatar
    Debra

    @ Susan TTT & Joe:
    “Truffles taste like old man’s pillow.” – Akemi, August 19 2011.

    So – does Akemi like Truffles or not?:::::

    Um I suspect that depends on whether “old man’s pillow” is a euphemism for something– but probably no either way.

    Goodnight Akemi.

    Joe, have you tried putting the pills into cream cheese or peanut butter? Failing that, if he needs them, poke them down his throat and give a yummy treat to apologize. My basenji who had cancer wouldn’t swallow a pill. Nothing fooled her. I just gave up and poked them down.

    Reply
  19. JoanieC Avatar
    JoanieC

    Sorry to hear the update on Max – give him a cuddle for me.

    Reply
  20. Gforce Avatar
    Gforce

    Akemi is Akemazing! You are very fortunate to have that girl around. That Bento box is a work of art.

    Sorry to hear about the bump the road with Maximus. Here’s hoping for the best.

    Reply
  21. SiSi Avatar
    SiSi

    I’m pretty sure I’m going to say “Jesus Crisis” at least once today.

    Reply
  22. Mitch Avatar
    Mitch

    Praise the Lord for yesterday’s news! Keep ’em shrinking! We will continue to storm heaven for dear Maximus! The good news is that the lymph node thingy is discovered so that it can be treated and shrunk or zapped to oblivion.

    I agree with Debra above – I used to have to pry open my doggy’s mouth, look him in the eye and stick the pill in as far in as I could down his throat with a finger then held his mouth shut till he swallowed. Sometimes I would syringe in some water through the side of his mouth where there’s a little space between the teeth and that would encourage him to swallow. The pill I had to give him apparently tasted terrible so crushing it and hiding it in food didn’t work very well.

    Reply
  23. Tam Dixon Avatar
    Tam Dixon

    I guess I’m “old school”, I just poke the pills down the throat. Seriously, if you can’t trick him into eating it, pill him. If the supplement comes in powder, they make empty gelatin capsules just for this purpose. Ask the vet to order you some empty capsules.

    Yes on the twitter. I would enjoy reading those pearls 😀 .

    Love the Bento. Is that Mr. Binder? 😀

    Reply
  24. Lou Zucaro Avatar
    Lou Zucaro

    By the way, I have some relatives that had a Jesus crisis, but now they’re born again.

    Also, Joe, are you at all worried that Akemi knows what old man pillow tastes like? Let’s just hope ‘pillow’ is literal.

    Reply
  25. Tam Dixon Avatar
    Tam Dixon

    Also, I made the best Madeleines yesterday. I used the Giada recipe: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/giada-de-laurentiis/honey-almond-madeleines-recipe/index.html I didn’t like the cake mix taste when I stuck to her recipe. So, I made my own cake mix using my favorite butter cake recipe. They were awesome! I ate most of the batch myself. The lemon zest and butter really popped. I will make these again for sure! What is your favorite flavor in madeleines?

    Reply
  26. Sue Jackson Avatar
    Sue Jackson

    (((((Maximus))))) Hope all goes well for dear Max. I will keep praying for him. Sounds like he’s a trooper. Just keep his spirits up. After each treatment, give him something that make him happy. Play with him in the park, or give him tons of belly rubs. 🙂 As for the supplements, stick the pill in a glob of peanut butter. It worked for my doggie.

    Akemi is just cute as a button. 🙂 Love her sayings. Another cute bento creation. Looks your pal, Carl Binder. 😉

    Reply
  27. Sparrow_hawk Avatar
    Sparrow_hawk

    My Italian grandmother used to swear by saying “summana beach”

    Reply
  28. glowyzoey Avatar
    glowyzoey

    Poor Maximus. He’s so darned cute, he doesn’t need suspicious looking anything. I hope it turns out to be nothing and that his tumour continues to shrink.

    Some people I know stuff their dog’s pill inside a weiner. Dog gulps it down none the wiser. Could you try that by wrapping Max’s pill inside chicken or cheese? I used to give my cat his meds by crushing them and mixing them with yogurt. Not sure how that would work with a dog, or if the pill would be bitter.

    *gentle ear scritches for Maximus* * applause for Akemi’s latest Bento box creation* It looks very Muppet-like.

    Reply
  29. Echelon Avatar
    Echelon

    @ Ponytail, sylvia, PBMom, Tam Dixon, sorrykb. – Thank you!

    @ Lisa R – Best of luck to you and your husband.

    Hopefully the oncologist was is just being cautious, hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

    Akemi reminds me of the character “Ziva David” from NCIS. She often changes sayings, but I’ve haven’t heard anything about old man pillows. o.O

    On a work note, waiting for a phone call to schedule orientation. It’s the waiting that gets me.

    Reply
  30. Lisa R Avatar
    Lisa R

    @Echelon – Thanks. I meant to congratulate you too. Jobs in this economy are hard to come by. And I understand about waiting too. Hope the call comes soon.

    Reply
  31. Gilder Avatar
    Gilder

    SAN ANTONIO EXPRESS-NEWS has given ink to two Stargate actors this week: Jason Momoa (see link, sorry the HTML is so lengthy) and Colin Cunningham (the Associated Press birthday list). Just thought I’d share.

    http://onespot.mysanantonio.com/link/?http://www.mysanantonio.com/entertainment/movies/article/Conan-s-Momoa-gets-tough-2087650.php;;;http://onespot.mysanantonio.com/2011/08/18/f44db/conans-momoa-gets-tough;;;http://onespot.mysanantonio.com/2011/08/18/f44db/conans-momoa-gets-tough

    Reply
  32. Audrey Avatar
    Audrey

    So sorry to hear about Maximus. I dont comment much, but I am a semi-regular reader. I’m quite familiar with OVC and just recently got my BSc degree from UoG and I’m a vet tech too and just recently moved here, so I just want to say that he’s in the best possible care for his treatments, and hope he pulls through and the tumor keeps on shrinking. No matter the outcome, know that you did everything possible for him and contine to hope for the best.

    For his supplements perhaps, as everyone has mentioned, put a little bit in his meat or some canned food or peanut butter and stick it to the roof of his mouth, if he spits it back out, you could try keeping his mouth closed as they’ll usually swallow it then.

    Hugs for Max.

    Reply
  33. lspacediva3 Avatar
    lspacediva3

    I am just now catching up with last week’s blog posts — Akemi’s truffle comment had me laughing out loud in a fairly inappropriate venue — glad I wasn’t drinking my coffee too 🙂
    Continued prayers and good wishes for Maximus and all of you.

    Reply

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