My boy Maximus (above) has been feeling under the weather.  At first, I assumed it was summer heat-related (thus the cold compress Akemi applied – again, above) but as time has worn on, it’s become pretty clear that there’s more to it.

Sure, he’s been a little more low-key, a little slower than usual, but the biggest indicator has been his loss of appetite.  He used to inhale his meals, snap up treats (and, occasional fingers) quicker than you could offer them but, lately, food just doesn’t hold the thrill it used to for him.  Sure, he’ll eat – but not with the ravenous “This’ll probably be the last morsel I’ll ever get!” relish.  Even his walks to the park are now devoid of his typical mud-eating.  Something’s up.

And so, tomorrow, he’s off to the vet for a full physical: blood test, x-rays, poking, prodding, and the occasional squeeze.  Hopefully, they’ll be able to find out what’s wrong with him.

Failing that, I guess we can just go with the never-fail cure-all: vanilla soft serve!

So the other day, my friend Mega was lamenting the fact that she didn’t have an Akemi to make her bento breakfasts.  Well, I told Akemi and, this morning, she sent me off with this…

…and this…

For Mega.  It contained one of my favorite chocolate-hazelnut cookies from Soma.  And the operative word here is “my”.  It was MY last chocolate-hazelnut cookie I’d been saving for tonight’s dessert!

Anyway, Mega was thrilled and loved the/my cookie.  And, before I headed off today, she gave me something for Akemi…

What a first-rate home made card!  This weekend, I’m picking up the construction paper, sparkles, stickers, and funny scissors Trevor will need to fashion the most awesome wedding card ever.  A friend of mine is getting married in August and I felt she deserved the time and effort only an Executive Producer’s Assistant can provide.  And, before you all get on my case about making Trevor do this, let me point out that I will ALSO be putting in the time and effort.  These things don’t approve themselves, y’know!


Deni writes: “Elway’s doing great, the huge lump under his shoulder muscle is a lipoma, no more seizures, hopefully a happy weekend ahead.  Thanks again, everyone! Xoxo”

Answer: Great news, Deni.  Give Elway a big kiss on the nose from me.

Dasndanger writes: “Joe, I just realized you had a mailbag and didn’t address my suggestion to come to the shore.  You gotta come down…you have a connection here! I mean…you and me, and our childhood! We probably watched Jaws together in the same movie theater! You may have stayed at one of my sister’s in-laws motels!”

Answer: We stayed at a bed and breakfast.  I remember going on an amusement park ride and then watching my little sister throw up the chocolate-covered banana she’d eaten prior to boarding.   I also remember my uncle getting so badly sunburned that he had to crawl on his hands and knees from his bedroom to the bathroom across the hall.  Yep, good times.  Good times.

dasndanger also writes: “Also…can Akemi make a Todd bento box?”

Answer: I showed her a picture of Todd.  She said – “I think easy.”  You going to send her a home made card?

JimfromJersey writes: “Has there been an announcement as to which network Transporter TS will air in the US? I’ve seen HBO and Cinemax mentioned, but don’t know if that’s perhaps an “in association with” scenario?”

Answer: Nope, HBO/Cinemax in the U.S., HBO Canada in Canada, RTL in Germany, and M6 in France.

ytimynona writes: “Hey Joe, Long time no read! Sorry about that… been busy getting my BA in math!”

Answer: Congrats!  Good luck on the move.  Whenever I travel, I just buckle the dogs up, securing them through the loop in the back of their harnesses.

Randomness writes: “Both the SG1 movies actually made money, it wouldn’t just be making to show on TV exclusively but making to sell on DVD/BD, Itunes etc, you can’t honestly say these wouldn’t of made any losses for MGM.”

Answer: So if they were such a sure thing, why didn’t the movies go into production?

Randomness also writes: “Thing is, I wasn’t the one saying Brads making a Stargate movie…”

Answer: Actually, I reported he was trying to get a movie off the ground, not he was “making a Stargate movie”.  Please get your facts straight.

Randomness also writes: “The blame here, and always should be, would be the writers, not the cast, crew, or anyone else. The writers dictate the direction of the show.”

Answer: Sure.  And looking back on three shows, two movies, seven seasons, and over 350 hours of television, I’d say that direction was a pretty good one.

Randomness also writes: “Obviously you have followers that will lap up everything you say as truth, but I dunno Joe, actually erm.. provide proof for once?”

Answer: I don’t see anyone lapping up anything.  I see me (and only me) calling you out for making erroneous assumptions.  If you really feel that you’re in a better position to know everything that went on behind the scenes (presumably through osmosis while perusing some message boards) then far be it from me to burst your bitter bubble.

40 thoughts on “July 22, 2011: Poor Maximus! Akemi and Mega gift exchange!

  1. Oh my, Maximus looks so tired and miserable about somehting.
    Keeping all crossable parts crossed that things go well.
    Yep…vanilla soft serve sounds good. Hope Max enjoyed it.
    And, there has to be a few more things Max would perk up if placed before him.

    And, the card for Akemi. NICE!

    @Deni… thanks for sharing the good news on Elway. A relief.

  2. Joe, I’m sorry I haven’t been backing you up in the Randomness debates. I’m just not in a position to contribute anything.

    You know what Bento boxes I’m looking forward to seeing from Akemi? The Christmas-themed ones…that’ll be epic!

    Please spoiler any pics of an edible Todd bento. My issues, I know. Please humor my delicate sensibilities until I get my head on straight.

  3. Joe.I hope the Vet trip nets success for Maximus.

    A terrible day for Norway, beyond words…

    Big congrats to Chris Judge getting cast in “The Dark Knight Rises”!
    Also hoping that Jason Momoa scores well with Conan reboot.


  4. I really don’t think simply approving a hand made card is enough. A real friend would send it back to Trevor for revision at least twice.

  5. Hope Maximus is feeling better in no time, Joe. Big squishes to him from all of us. 🙂

  6. Poor Maximus. 🙁
    @Randomspewing No one is lapping. Many here disagree, ask tough questions. But most manage to do so without being utter jackasses like you.
    @DP .. Joe is aware I am sure that you or me backing him up is not needed. Nor of any benefit. Randomspew believes it knows everything and if you argue, you are a liar or ass kisser or stupid. I try to ignore but sometimes you just gotta jerk that chain and give it the payoff it begs for. Jerk, jerk. Okay back to ignoring it.

    Please please post the Todd creation! Hell I’ll make Akemi a card!

  7. A home-made card? Sure! Same addy I sent your thank you card (which I assume you got)?

    Sounds like you had a great time at the shore! That’s the stuff a summer vacation is made of! (It’s ALWAYS a good time when it’s your sister who’s throwing up and not you! I still remember our first private plane ride – I ate a raw hotdog and orange juice before the flight, my sister had scrambled eggs, toast, and milk. The scrambled eggs ended up in a bag. 😀 )

    Just the fact that you remember all that proves it was a memorable trip. I’m kinda surprised that you stayed at a B&B though…didn’t know we had any around here back then. Rooming houses, and vaction house rentals, sure, but a B&B? Faaaaaaancy!

    I sure hope Maximus is okay! Maybe it’s just a case of summertime blues. If so, the soft serve should work…I know, I just finished up one myself! 😀


  8. Poor Max! Healing doggie hugs!

    I keep looking at my pink seven-way Eggland egg cutter/dicer/slicer/time-space continuum warping device (and so on) I got in Japan a good 20 years ago and think wistfully of what Akemi could do with such a clever egg tool. I only use the bottom section, which is the wire slicer. Sometimes I get fancy and turn the sliced egg and make a diced egg for my egg salad. Sigh.

  9. @ Deni & Joe
    Great news about Elway! Here’s to just as good news for Maximus!

    Joe, is your friend getting married our blog friend Ashleigh? Congratulations if it is, Ashleigh! 😀

    She was sporting a ring in an earlier blog picture. And you did say she had a project planned for this year.

  10. Poor Maximus looks so sad. I hope he feels better soon.

    I’d love to see a Todd bento box. I’ve been eating Nutella flavored chilled Irish oatmeal for breakfast this week. Very tasty, but it isn’t very Todd-ish. Not pale enough.

    @Deni: I’m glad there was good news about Elway! My Lab has a big ol’ lipoma on her belly. The vet said Labs are prone to developing them. Who knew?

    @das: I insist on pictures of any home-made cards you send to Joe! Stay cool – we’re sending you more hot weather. And some storms.

  11. Your poor little baby sugar boy Maximus. I hope he gets to feeling better.

    @ Randomness – I’ve always wanted to ask you…who are you? I mean, what do you do for a living? You mentioned when you were in the hospital recently that some people recongnized you. Are you an actor/actress from TV, commercials, movies? Are you in the entertainment industry? What is your background that makes you so knowledgeable about “the business” and how it operates? If you don’t want to answer, it’s okay, I understand. I have just always been curious because of your comments. I don’t mean to offend you.

  12. Poor Maximus. He looks like he feels terrible. Keep us posted about what you find out tomorrow.

    Rewatching season nine SG-1 with season two of Atlantis. I’m still attempting to figure out how the two timelines match up.

    I love making handmade cards! I really do think they’re better than the store bought ones.

  13. My best wishes for Maximus, Akemi’s continued stay in Canada, and your wished-for return to Vancouver.

    May I ask that you please stop answering Randomness’s questions? Not because they’re pointless and annoying, which they are, but because he doesn’t seem to know the difference between “have” and “of”. “Would of”, over and over. Seriously? Makes my teeth hurt.

  14. Crap. What the hell did I get myself into? Homemade cards??! Do you even know what that means??! Can you even begin to comprehend the horror???!!!

    Guh…this means going into the…*shudder*…into The Cave. 😮 The cave is this hollow bit under the mattress of the captain’s bed in our ship room. I haven’t gone spelunking in the cave in about…oh, let’s say…three years. Yup, that’s right…three years of dust, kitty hair, and …SPIDERS!!! 😯 The bed is this solid chunk of wood that isn’t the easiest thing to move, so I do my best to vacuum around it, but really can’t move it without Mr. Das’ help. I have all my old crafting stuff under there, and some extra blankets (which – obviously – I don’t need since I haven’t used any in at least three years). I’m pretty sure I don’t have any card stock – most of the stuff I had was for scrapbooking.

    Yeah…I got into scrapbooking for about a year…then lost interest. Did the same with stained glass – made a few things then lost interest. Did the same with lots of stuff. I have hobby ADD. 😛


  15. Poor baby (Maximus). I hope the vet can find out what is wrong with him quickly. He looks so sad.

    Akemi is so very thoughtful (depends I guess on your point of view if you really, really wanted that cookie). Love the card she got in return.

    Definitely want pictures of a Todd bento box.

    You know, if Trevor was a girl, they’d be calling you sexist.

    And–woo-hoo–Snarky Joe is back!

  16. I feel so sorry for Maximus because I too have a little dog at home who eats like it is his last meal, do you have any idea what is wrong?

  17. Poor Maximus :o(
    Hopefully the bloodwork and stuff is all OK. Good sign he is still eating though.
    Whe my previous dog stopped eating it was all over within a week.

    Couldn’t help laughing about the occasional fingers he snaps at. Its like youre talking about my dog! But then again most dogs are similar to their owners…And I like food A LOT.

    RTL in Germany… Pleeaaaase tell me they are NOT gonna dub it in German!!!
    Subtitles are ok but I hate Ze Germans for dubbing every single movie. Can’t ever watch a movie on a German channel because of it.

    Unless it’s a Schwarznegger movie. ;o)

  18. Coucou Joseph!

    ça va bien? désolé du retard mais j’ai eu quelque probléme d’ordinateur.

    Ohh Je suis triste pour maximus ='(, j’espere qu’il va vite se rétablir!

    C’est quand l’anniversaire d’Akemi?

    Aller bisou bisou 🙂

  19. Poor Maximus. I hope the vet can find out why he feels so bad. Did you take his tempature? If you don’t know how, you can ask the vet today. Easy.

  20. Awww…poor Maximus. I hope he feels better soon. 🙁 Just give him some TLC. Looks like Jelly wants to comfort him. Please keep us updated.

  21. Sheesh. I come on to get a little morning cheer after another long hard day at work (struggling not to bust out laughing as I keep a straight face-not all 24 hour shifts are equal) and what do I find? Maximus in distress! Mallozzi worried! The new show going on a network I don’t (currently) have, Akemi’s generosity and thoughtfulness scoffed at by you. And Randomness with even more of his snide comments. I should have gone to the local hospital’s morgue for a happier cheer me up.
    More seriously, hoping the best for Maximus. Suggest that Akemi consider using some of the icons for we, the reasonably faithful readers for some of her future bentos, Reccomend that Trevor makes sure you have to do the glitter for the hand made cards. And please, Randomness, how about giving us some solid reasons NOT to believe what Mr. M. tells us? Or why he would have any reason to spin a web of lies to entangle himself with, given this whole blog thing is not something he has to do, Sure, it’s a useful tool for a show runner but given the number of topics he touches on in any given week, it;s not like it is a simple propaganda site. And I tend to take people at face value until they have proven unworthy of thta simple courtesy. An attitude that occasionally leads to dissapointment, but more often makes for a solid basis for friendships or aquantances. Should you have any real points to make, would you do so? The sniping is just getting tedious, though I do thank you for at least doing it politely.
    Best wishes to everyone on this nice hot day. Off to take the doggie to the park and see how long it takes before she decides to wade into the river.

  22. I hope you have a wonderful vet for your pups there in TO, and hugs and squishes for Maximus to feel better. I love his puppy pic on the header. poor baby.
    A very cute picture of Akemi (but all her pix are good) and the card is nice also.
    How is the comic book business going? January will be here b4 you know it. start packing. Have a great weekend!!

  23. Awe poor wee fella 🙁 Joe, I hope Maximus is ok he really doesn’t look too happy on the last picture he looks so tired.
    Fingers crossed for him, hopefully just a wee virus or summit.

  24. Hope Maximus is going to be okay. Having elderly dogs is such a worry.

    BTW, I know Transporter is being filmed in Europe, are there any plans to film in the UK…specifically Scotland?

  25. Why do people keep blaming others for the decission SYFY made about stargate?? Im glad i found this blog. Because i have been reading up on The stargate episodes of SG1. And some clear answers on what really happened. Trust me in the netherlands they just stopped after Stargate Atlantis they didnt even air SGU. SYFY made a big mistake. But i think in a few years it will be picked up again by someone. Untill then we can blame everyone, but thats not gonna bring Stargate back.

    Joseph are you gonna do memory lane on SA and SGU too? That would be so nice. Thank you for the blog and the answers you gave about what happened. And i apologise for my fellow “fans” who do not show respect. The ones that do, they know its not about them.

  26. I don’t understand why some fans think they know everything about how the industry works when they aren’t even involved in it. It’s not like any of us ever produced a tv show to know why movies weren’t greenlit. I wanted the movies to close the chapter but I also understand how it might not be really profitable and might’ve not been in the best interest for mgm to do it at this time. I just don’t like the idea of Brad abandoning stargate, he could after some years later come up with a new stargate show because it’s not like anyone else there is going to do it other than Devlin of course. There are probably a number of ways to resurrect it, but I can’t think of anything that is worth visualising, it will have to be something extraordinary to compel people to come back to it, not just a twist to the old concept either and not a polished version of SG-1. I think it should morph into something original and give something new to the genre, easier said than done I guess.
    I’m not sure if this is real or not but that psycho terrorist apparently liked stargate: How can an irrational conservative religious nut like sci-fi?

    There are a number of new comic book publishers that just cropped up here so I’m wondering if I should get into this stuff. So Joe since you done both, objectively which is better for someone looking for a career; screenwriting or comic books?

  27. Joe, a question for Akemi, and you, about Japan (or anyone else who has lived or visited there).

    I have always been under the impression that most Japanese live rather modern – albeit simplistic – lives, with the latest gadgets and decor. I’ve always thought of it as a more advanced society than ours. However, I watched a movie last night called Maborosi (1995), and I was surprised at how much of Japan that was portrayed in the film was almost primative by comparison to what I was expecting. Everything was rather…brown. Now, that works for me because I love ‘earthy’ living, but I guess I didn’t expect to see it in modern Japan. My question is how much of Japan still lives in an ‘old world’ style, and how much is more advanced? Is it just a city/country difference, or something else?


  28. Joe, see this is the reason female action heroes dont work:

    They got MMA fighter and still doesnt look remotely convincing and ends up being a parody. But someone like Fiona is believable because shes good with explosives and guns and most of all, not the central character. Thats just how it is, the filmmaker who makes it work should get a medal, until then I aint buying the goofiness. I sorta liked Salt and Tomb Raider, but these movies dont ask you to take them seriously.

  29. Joe, what did you find about about Maximus today? His pictures made want to give him a hug, but he may not have wanted one, poor guy! Send him a soft pat from me.

    I think the heat here is officially making me cranky. Temps at home have been 100 F. for a few days. And we’re only a few hours down the road from Sparrowhawk. Was out running errands w/ Mom. THREE *ahem* drivers either nearly rear-ended me, pulled out in front of me & stopped, or tried to merge in my lane while I was in it–right at my Mother in the passenger seat. I try to be mild-mannered & remember that others can have bad days, but today, “nnnah!” Used the car horn and plenty of “French” that wouldn’t be considered a native language. Do people lose common sense in the heat??? (Bet the law enforcement folks have a theory.)

    “Ish kabibble!” Mom said.
    “Say what???”
    “Ish kabibble! It’s what we said as kids because we couldn’t swear.”
    I had to laugh, cause that was a new one on me. At least she wasn’t mad at my lapses in language. And I am very grateful that we were kept safe and nothing happened. Whew!

    Of course later we had to go read the Wiki on the phrase. Ish kabibble can also mean “I should worry?” or “Don’t worry.” There it is, a euphemism for strong language, or pseudo-Yiddish for “Hakuna Matata.”

    So the weather is scorching? Ish kabibble! We’ll just eat more ice cream. 🙂

  30. @ dioxholster, you just blew my mind; I was just telling my sis that the Norway creepy terrorist railed against multi-culturalism. Stargate has always been very multi-cultural; hell it’s multi-cultural on an extra-planetary level. That sort of schism tends to go with being very, very crazy. It’s awful, I’m very sad for my friends in Norway.

    Please give Maximus a hug for me, he has the sweetest little punim, poor lil’ guy. I hope all goes well at the vet.

    I object to being called one of “Joe’s Followers,” it lacks a certain panache. I suggest the following more acceptable names: Joe’s Flying Monkeys, Mallozzi’s Minions, Army of Joe’s, J.M.’s Posse, Ice-J’s Siko-Phantz, Mozi’s Rok Steady Krew or Jo-Jo’s Unpaid Goons.

  31. @ Shiny
    ::::Joe’s Flying Monkeys, Mallozzi’s Minions, Army of Joe’s, J.M.’s Posse, Ice-J’s Siko-Phantz, Mozi’s Rok Steady Krew or Jo-Jo’s Unpaid Goons.:::
    I vote on Mallozzi’s Minions or Mozi’s Rok Steady krew.

  32. @ Shiny – I like “J.M.’s Posse”. Must have something to do with being from Texas. 🙂

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