Hey, you know what my fellow Transporter: The Series Co-Showrunner, Alexander Ruemelin, hates more than haute cuisine, French moving companies, and guys in black turtlenecks combined? Macs! And not just Macs but the fact that several of his co-workers, myself among them, are supporters to what he views as an elitist techno-cult bent on world domination. You see, Alexander is a PC guy and, as a PC guy, he’s outnumbered in the writers’ room 5 to 1.
The fact that everyone else here works on Macs REALLY annoys him. How much?
Look at how enraged he is by the mere thought of our syncing our iPhones with our laptops.
I can empathize. Really. I remember my first experience Mac encounter. Then Stargate writer Damian Kindler brought one into the office one season and it was all sorts of weird. It looked funny, didn’t have a right click, some of the keys were in the wrong place, and any script that came out of that thing was always ten pages too long. I termed it the “Norwegian Fancy Writer” and dismissed it as a fad. Sort of like that drink, Orbitz, with the floating edbile balls that fairly approximated the sensation of drinking your own vomit (“Kids’ll love it!”).
Well, while Orbitz went the way of New Coke, The Geico Cavemen t.v. show, and the McDonalds’ “I’d hit it” campaign that seemed to encourage consumers to fornicate with a double-cheeseburger…
…Mac thrived and, before I knew it, almost everyone in the Stargate writing department had one: Marty G., Carl B., Rob C., even my long-time technologically-challenged writing partner, Paul M. Well, that made me want to dig in my heels all the more. I didn’t care how amusing Apple’s commercials were or how much my co-workers seemed to love their new laptops, I was a PC guy!
Until I saw this –
WTF?!! I was never bothered by those Apple commercials that seemed to imply PC-users were a bunch of loser-dorks because I figured, hey, that’s just Apple marketing. But when PC marketing seemed to confirm the point by having Bill Gates star alongside Jerry Seinfeld in a painfully unfunny ad spot that had absolutely nothing to do with computers and culminated in Gates awkwardly adjusting his pants, I was left confused and, admittedly, a little frightened. Then, when they followed that spot with an equally excruciating four and a half minute commercial that ends with a gawky Gates doing the robot, I realized Apple was right. Loser-dorks, adjusting their pants, doing the robot, and spending millions of dollars on a confusing vanity ad campaign that has nothing to do with the product your selling.
The following day, I bought myself a MacBook and never looked back.
Hmmm. Well this…sucks. No sooner do I extol the virtues of Mac than it freezes up on me, necessitating a force quit of Safari. I return to my post-in-progress to discover it failed to auto-save the rest of the entry which included my rundown of Michael’s return to SG-1 as a series regular and some insight into the first six episodes of season 7. At this point, I’m too enraged to start over. How enraged?
I am presently regretting the loss of my loser-dorkiness.