Whoa!  It’s as if every hypochondria-inspiring ailment I’ve suffered over the past ten years has decided to team up and hit me over the course of the past forty-eight hours.   Headaches, stomach issues, trouble sleeping, fatigue, shoulder problems, lower back pain, and my feet are killing me.  Time to transfer my consciousness into a younger, sleeker model.  What?  The technology hasn’t been invented yet?  Bullshit.  If they can make an app that allows you to identify a song just by humming a few bars into your phone, then back-up cloned bodies shouldn’t be that big a leap.

Sigh.  I told myself that if and when Stargate ever ended, I would take the year off to recharge.  Travel.  Read.  Spend time with the dogs.  Maybe work on a few personal projects in no great hurry.  When I moved to Vancouver eleven years ago to work on Stargate, I didn’t exactly love the city.  In fact, I was looking forward to heading back to Montreal when the series was expected to end with its fifth and final season.  But things change and, eleven years later, Vancouver is home.  It’s a great dog city, boasts an eclectic mix of terrific restaurants, its summers are gorgeous and its winters are – while far from ideal – a hell of a lot less cold than what I grew up with.  So now the prospect of leaving it has me reconsidering my priorities.  As I mentioned in a previous post, I’ve been very fortunate in that I’ve never wanted for work over the course of my career.  I’ve gone from job to job to job with no downtime inbetween.  The prospect of taking time off is very tempting, but the reality of this industry is that you’re only as good as your last job.  And, well, if your last job was reading back issues of The Avengers while grazing on barbecue chicken pizza, you can be sure you’re not going to impress many.  On the other hand, being in demand impresses.  As does actually having a job.  So, if an opportunity comes along, you’d be crazy to pass it up.  Or would you? Do you go with the sure thing and uproot your life to start over somewhere else, or do you say “Screw it!”, crack open those Marvel Masterworks and Domino’s deliveries and gamble on something less… disruptive?

Who knows?  Maybe it won’t come to that.  In this business, things have a way of happening very quickly – and unhappening just as quickly.  Perhaps – and in a best case scenario – things will take care of themselves and I won’t have to make a decision.   But, if things pan out the way they seem to be, then I will have to make that decision.  And fast.

Happily, the only decision I had to make today was “Pulled pork or tamales?” and, in the end, it was not decision at all as I decided to have both:


Slow-cooked pulled pork.
Sweet potato and goat cheese tamales!
Le Chef!

Yep, that’s right.  Rob Cooper is back in town.  We met for lunch on Thursday (spicy Thai!) and today he hosted an NFL get-together.  Also in attendance…


LBW signals for a third season.
While DJIVB takes on another tamale.

We kicked back, ate, watched the games, and bemoaned the dearth of CIA and hitman-centered film and television projects.  Juuuust kidding.  It would seem there are enough of those to last us ‘TIL THE END OF TIME!

53 thoughts on “January 2, 2011: Aches, pains, clone bodies, and tamales!

  1. When you get that cloned body, lemme know, ’cause I want one! I mean…one of my own, because me in your cloned body would be both very weird, and very, very creepy…

    Although…If I was transferred somehow into your cloned body, I COULD have some fun with it!! NO! NOT that kind of fun, you pervert…but REAL fun…like…

    I would eat lots of minty things…and tabouli. And popcorn. Lots of popcorn.

    I would sit on Carl’s desk all day…nekkid.

    I’d get a massage from the biggest, ugliest, hairiest guy I could find.

    I’d join the foie gras protesters outside of Re-Fuel.

    I’d pick a fight with a teamster…or, maybe a tramp.

    I wouldn’t shower for two weeks. Or brush my teeth.

    I’d get a really big tattoo of the double rainbow guy on my chest.

    Then…I’d give the body back to you. 🙂


  2. Not sure I’d want my own body cloned. If it didn’t hold up, I’d want a better one.

    Yeah, I’ve been too rough on this one but it’s not entirely my fault. Being hyper and impulsive is in my DNA!

  3. Just don’t look up your symptoms online. Trust me. I could tell tales about all the rare and terrifying medical conditions I’ve believed I had, courtesy of the internets.

    A vivid imagination doesn’t help either!

    Anyway, hope you are feeling better soon. 🙂

  4. “But, if things pan out the way they seem to be, then I will have to make that decision. And fast”

    Trying to decipher if this is hints that SGU will or won’t continue

  5. Please stick with stargate till extinction gets made though…. REALLY want to see that movie.

  6. You are probably having all of your current aches and pains because you do have decision(s) to make. Yogi Berra once said, “If there’s a fork in the road, take it.” You just have to decide which is the best fork.

  7. “Time to transfer my consciousness into a younger, sleeker model.”

    We all remember the fate of the Asgard.

    “LBW signals for a third season.”

    That’s the spirit! Third season would be totally awesome! 🙂

  8. I hope you feel better too Joe….. don’t worry. All things come to an end at some point. 😉

  9. Okay, enough with the polite hints from your readers. FOR THE LOVE OF CHOCOLATE JOE! CHANGE YOUR DATE. IT IS NOW 2011. GET IN THE GROVE MAN!

    Sooooo good to see Robert Cooper! I love him and his smile. When I see him I think everything will be okay. Is he working these days? Did you watch the Cowboys pull out a win with their #3 quarterback and beat our arch enemy Eagles?

    “Do you go with the sure thing and uproot your life to start over somewhere else, or do you say “Screw it!”, crack open those Marvel Masterworks and Domino’s deliveries and gamble on something less… disruptive?”

    It depends on how much money you have in the bank. 😀

  10. I have stumped the internet. I asked it a question it does not have an answer for. Does anyone here know:

    My mother said, “In my 85 years, I have never seen this before. If you crack open a raw egg, and it will not fall out, because it is stuck to the inside of the shell, what does that mean?”

    Anybody know for sure? (btw – she threw it away. She was telling me how bad a new grocery store was. )

  11. Joe, one of the nasty flu bugs going around is causing terrible body aches. Leora commented that the things she injured before (her knees) seemed to hurt the most. Take care, drink tons of fluid and really, when you have to decide you will about work or stay put. Sounds like you have a job opportunity away…. not SG related. I just feel sure whatever you decide it will work out. Or as my grandmother said when I was getting married and my mother was having a stroke:

    What’s the big deal? If it doesn’t work out, she’ll get a divorce. 🙂

  12. Didn’t you learn anything from the Asgard. You get tiny, weak and you become asexual.(yea yea, I know it’s not real, but couldn’t help myself)

  13. Wow, did I really post 4 different comments above. My bad, im really tired. Next time i’ll be sure to gather all my thoughts together before pressing the “Post Comment” button. :p

    Thanks so much,
    Major D.

  14. Hello Joe.

    I’m with Das on this one. When they make replacement clones or at least replacement parts for us, let me know. I could use a new neck. I am sick of it hurting every day, and tice as bad during the winter… Whaddaya say? Hey why don’t the three of us get together and work on that… See a need, fill a need. ;-). One can always hope, right?

    Best Wishes,

    Ps Did anyone see that old movie The 6th Day? 😉

  15. I want the tamale recipe – please………

    Maggy K. – Yogi Berra once said, “If there’s a fork in the road, take it.”

    “Because it might be silver and if you leave it in the road someone will lose a tire and you don’t want that karma, now do you?” My aunt Jackie when I was trying to explain quitting Med school.

    Ponytail- the eggs was either REALLY old, or frozen.

    My guess… it may have been previous frozen and isn’t quite thawed… Or, got too hot and congealed to the shell… Or, IS a *bad* OMEN from the *GODS*!! — Throwing it OUT *was* the smart thing to do – because, well, you know.. “…Mother ALWAYS knows Best!..”

  17. Your stomach must not be hurting TOO much if you ate THAT.

    Sorry to hear you are feeling so lousy.

    Your decision reminds me of a decision I had to make in my 20’s. I was asked by my vocal coach if I wanted to go on the road with her to sing back-up vocals. It had always been a dream of mine. However, being on the road, not knowing where your next gig was, being in smoky bars and living out of skanky hotels kind of tipped the scales in favor of just staying put and continuing to be a medical transcriptionist. I also was about to audition for Disney in Orlando when I discovered that their singers don’t make any more than minimum wage. I was making a lot more than minimum wage. Since my childhood was so unstable, moving about from place to place, I needed the stability, meaning I went with the sure thing, which for you would be whatever work is being offered to you. You never know what doors that next experience may open to you after that. I guess in the end I enjoyed my job doing medical transcription than performing or else I probably would have made those sacrifices. In uncertain times, especially in the entertainment industry, I would want to continue working so that when work did dry up at some point, I would be able to ride that out financially until the next job came along.

    Of course, the best of both worlds would be if the job allowed you to stay in Vancouver while working on the new job, like being a telecommuter with just an occasional trip. I’ve been telecommuting for almost 22 years now; going back into an office setting would be weird.

    But if you are financially able to, then maybe taking some time off might be a good thing, too, if you are feeling burned out.

    As far as transferring to a younger, sleeker model, I’d have to choose someone else’s younger, sleeker body. Although I looked great in my 20’s, I did not earn my husband’s nickname of “Biohazard” by accident. Oh yes, the loving nicknames my husband thinks up to call me. True love. I’d like to keep my head & brain though (well I guess without the brain aneurysm–LOL). Okay, let me rethink that. My consciousness and memories and my outward facial appearance in a totally new body. Sounds like the movie Face-Off, doesn’t it?

  18. Joe wrote:

    Headaches, stomach issues, trouble sleeping, fatigue, shoulder problems, lower back pain, and my feet are killing me. Time to transfer my consciousness into a younger, sleeker model. What? The technology hasn’t been invented yet?

    Funny you should mention that. 😀

    The sci-fi movie Surrogates is airing this week and next week on the Starz cable network. Bruce Willis’ character has a younger, sleeker robotic surrogate/clone that works in the real world as a detective. Most of their free world stays at home in a recliner (there ya go!) while their clone goes to work and earns the money. The surrogates are usually younger versions of everyone, except for a club-hopping blonde, who turns out to be an ugly, hairy guy. (That was for Das.) People also use them to stay safe from crime and avoid pain. Gives “surrogacy” a whole new meaning. It’s a thought provoking and fast-paced movie.

  19. The aches and pains, Joe? Stress, most likely. Either that, or whatever you’re doing, you’re doing it wrong. 😉 But I’m thinking stress…it may even be stress you don’t realize you have.

    I used to have mild anxiety attacks while sleeping, and the doc said that’s because when I’m awake there are many things to keep my mind busy, but once I go to sleep, the subconscious worries come to the surface, and bam! Anxiety attack. I hate my subconscious mind – it’s very strong and gives me all sorts of problems. Once I had to have a medical procedure done and they put me under, and I started beating up the nurses. 😛 The doc told my husband that I have a very strong and violent subconscious, though in waking life I couldn’t fight if my life depended on it. But when I’m asleep? Guh. Always with the nightmares of beating people up and stuff. Good thing I don’t sleep walk. 😀

    Anyways, I don’t have the problem as bad as I used to – back when I was really depressed it was much worse. I have learned how to control my waking stress (somewhat), so that I have less subconscious stress, as well. Some meditation-type things, trying my hand (not very well yet) at bonsai, and just trying to avoid things that create anxiety. The one thing I can’t seem to control is the worrying thing – and I don’t know how to shut it off without drugs, alcohol, or a bullet. Don’t worry, I don’t have a gun…or drugs…and I limit my drinking to one glass of wine (or similar substance) a night…if that. Regardless of what I may say here for funsies, I am rarely, if ever, tipsy. My biggest addiction, the thing I use most to escape the worry, is just…well, you know…Wraith, Elric, Nuada, Pendergast, etc…that sort of thing. 😛

    Why am I going on about all of this? Well, I just wonder if you are a worrier, too, Joe? Soemtimes you seem all cavalier about stuff, but then other times you seem to fret over things, and I can’t tell which is the act, and which is the real you, or maybe they’re both acts, or both real. So, I just figured I’d ask if you are prone to worry, like I am. If so, that worry leads to tension, and tension leads to all sorts of aches and pains and unpleasant tummy troubles.

    (Just a side thought – you may have picked up a parasite in Tokyo – it’s not uncommon with all the raw fishy stuff, and all.)

    Okay…gonna shut up now. Take care, Joe, and hope you get to feeling better. 🙂


  20. I’m a Seahawk fan, and I don’t care about my team getting into the playoffs at 7-9. WHO CARES? We won the division. Get over it.

  21. Hey Joe,

    I say pretend it is five years from now and think of what you wish you had done. I have much better hind sight….I hate making the “life altering” decisions. Next best…let someone else make the decision for you…then you won’t have to blame yourself if it was the wrong decision!

    The body thing…sick sucks….in any form it chooses to assault us with. Personally…I would like different bodies to fit my mood for the day. I don’t know that I would willingly put on the old one.

    Best to you Joe,
    Cheryl 🙂

  22. The Wraith had the right idea. I was eyeing a 13 year old the other day.

    Wow, big decisions indeed. Sounds like you may have a job offer outside of Vancouver. Seeing how industry people here in LA are still desperately looking for work…a bird in the hand, as they say, especially if it’s something you’d really love to do. And what’s Rob up to these days? Hmmm…

    @Debi Thank you!! 🙂

  23. Hey Joe, it’s my birthday!! I have been 24 for an hour and thirty-eight minutes. Wooooo, not dead!

  24. @PBMom: Thanks for asking! He’s still about the same. We’ve been to see his ER doctor every night (except last night because the guy had emergency surgery to perform on some poor dog) because the swelling in his leg is not going down no matter what we do. We’re pretty sure that he got some diazepam in the tissue when it was injected for a seizure, but we’re on day 5 here and no relief. He’s walking better, still on pain meds and antibiotics, so we’ll see what the next few days bring. I can’t stop worrying this week, and it’s getting old! For now, he’s taking up 2/3 of the bed and sound asleep, snoring away. 🙂 His paw is enormous…oy.

  25. Okay let me jump on band wagon.. up since 2:30 am with back. I won’t be greedy, just clone me a new spine. I mean, I want a transfer into a young healthy body that I promise I will take better care of, but right now, just a spine would be enough.

    LOL DAS, forgot to say you owe me keyboard on using Joe’s body. I’d take it to all the horrible fast food places too.

  26. Pg15 can’t work on a cloning machine yet. Narelle has him working on a transporter device for her. 😀

    Love the comments today, though. Thanks the laughs all!

    Sorry you haven’t been feeling well. I can sympathize with you. I’ve been hit with several migraines in the last few days. I’m living off of imitrex and aleve. I suppose I’ll have to call the ENT again. It might be some of the new meds the ENT gave me.

    I hope your illness is better soon. Good luck with your career decisions!

  27. Do what makes your heart happy Joe.
    But don’t pass up a chance you’ll regret in later years.
    Hope your new year is a good one!

  28. @ paloosa – 😆

    @ TheSGC – I don’t follow football, but I did hear about this ‘controversy’ on CNN this morning. I find it utterly ridiculous that they are suggesting changing the rules so that a team that lost their division – but had a better record than the winning team of another division – would go to the playoffs instead. Sports should be a bit unpredictable (I know the gamblers don’t necessarily agree – and that’s probably who’s behind all of this outrage).


  29. Hi

    First of all firstly I’m sorry the show got cancelled. To be honest I quite hated Season 1 of SGU, but I was starting to like Season 2.

    1- Will we know further about Destiny’s mission in the next remaining 10 episodes?

    2- Will we see more of those powerful ships that attacked destiny in the next remaining 10 episodes? Who they, where they come from? That unimportant stuff. 😛

    3- I like to know if there will be any release of SG1 and Atlantis on blu-ray.

    4- Can you smuggle more pictures of Rob Cooper’s Home Cinema? Ask him how expensive it was.

    5- Have you tried any portuguese recepies?

  30. Dear Mr. Mallozzi!

    I don’t know what did SGU just do to me, but I can’t stop watching Sgu S02E10 Resurgence again and again.
    This show is brilliant! It has to be continued! We need sgu season 3!
    We fans also won’t give up on it!

    One of the fans from Hungary

  31. Joe,
    I’m guessing that even if Stargate: Universe is saved by MGM or is bought by another network, that you won’t be returning?

  32. Joe what does your writing partner Paul Mullie say about a major move? Would he go too? If you changed locations and he stayed, would you still be partners, just not in everything? He would have to uproot his family too.

    @ Chy Clayton & ganymede – thanks for your opinions. The egg was not frozen at the time and I read if you freeze an egg, the inside will expand and crack the shell. The shell was not already cracked. I guess it was old and maybe sat out in the heat or cold too long before they loaded it into the refrigeration to be sold. My parents also bought some milk that went very bad way before the expiration date. That store is not being careful… They probably won’t last long.

    @ TheSGC –maybe your division is so good, the teams have a hard time beating each other. I predict the superbowl winner will be from your division!

  33. Hey! Who watched FORBIDDEN PLANET yesterday and found out today that ANNE FRANCIS passed away yesterday?

    I liked Her….

    Totall bummed out now… This *new* is already starting to suck…

  34. See how crappy things are? I can’t even finish or include words in sentences! [my previous post…]

  35. I have to know. On a scale of 1 – 10 (1 being lowest) what are the chances as it stands right now of SGU returning in some fashion beyond 2.5?

  36. Definitely put me on the mailing list for that clone deal. The epidural injections for my disc problems are helping my back a little, but making my blood sugar go crazy. That seems unfair! I’d like to get this gray hair vs hair color issue settled, too. I’m all for throwing out Miss Clairol, but both my husband and my sister were horrified by the idea. My sister did at least try to cover her initial reaction by telling me it was really up to me, but my husband couldn’t quite manage that. He’s a terrible poker player, and not much of a diplomat either!

  37. Perhaps – and in a best case scenario – things will take care of themselves and I won’t have to make a decision.

    Is it just me, or have I read this before, right here? I believe you’ve shared this philosophy with us before, Joe. Personally, I kind of like it myself.

  38. @Kevin

    Personally I hope everyone involved with SGU stays on with Stargate regardless of what happens. Il’d rather see Stargate in the hands of people who know what to do with it than newcomers.
    Sure okay people would argue that SGU not being successful on Syfy would negate the point I made above but really they tried something different, it didn’t work out, however they have 2 successful shows being SG1/SGA under their belts and really they’re the best people to continue Stargate in my opinion.

    So yeah you should stick with Stargate Joe. A lot of people consider your episodes to be some of the best in the 3 shows.

    That and I loved the Irresistible/Irresponsible SGA eps. That’s more my sense of humor than anything. Thought they were funny.

    Anyway I want some SGU news. D:
    I hate waiting.

    Speaking of weird pains. I had one under my ribs randomly today, really awkward. No idea what caused it. Was just sat randomly typing some work and it hit me (:

  39. If you leave, can I come too? LOL Awesome Aussie song…best of luck w/ your decision. If you moved to another state how would the dogs cope?

    Re: football – Bears v Packers. I’ve got this theory. I think the Bears tanked on purpose to eliminate the Giants…what do you think? [btw I’m a 49ers fan]

    Cheers, Chev

  40. Hi Joe,

    MMMMM Chop Gin Ah-Hahn Thai Mahk Mahk. Chop gin Pet. (like eating Thai food very much, like eating spicy food. My favorites are gang Masaman and Kao Moke Gai (chicken hidden in rice)-the curry also makes a great dry rub for roasted chicken. Fine Southern dishes. Your pictures always make me crave more food. God bless the person who invented the crock pot.

    I think others have made good guesses as to your ailment from an unwelcome foreign guest to the emotions of the time. Something caused your immune system to falter. I have a coworker who came down with shingles this week, not fun for him at all. Definitely wish our ailment is not as extreme and short lived.

    I just happened to watch the SG1 S.9 ep. 4 “Ties that Bind” with your commentary the other day. It is interesting that Robert Cooper shows up in your post and you mentioning about thinking S. 5 might have been the last (but SciFi picked it up from Showtime). I am glad you stuck it out for this long. During the commentary you mentioned that season 8 was to be SG1’s last, and the new show was more like a spinoff, but SG1 went on for two more years. Also, my impression is that you felt SGA was getting stronger and would round out with a final sixth season. This was cut short, and the movie is on hold. SGU, finding its legs seems to have been cut short without a Season 3. Another show I enjoyed Farscape, also on SciFi, ended, after 4 yrs, a season too early, but with such a fan out cry gave in with a mini series/movie. Speaking of ailments SciFi seems to suffer from some sort of attention deficit disorder.
    And to top it off the price of Chocolate is going up!

    I am going to spend some time and go back on some of your posts to take some notes on restaurants and food stories you have written about.

    Hope you are all better, and the new year brings you success and well being. Hope to watch more stories written by you.

  41. @Das:

    (Just a side thought – you may have picked up a parasite in Tokyo – it’s not uncommon with all the raw fishy stuff, and all.)

    You realize that you said that to a recovering hypochondriac , right?

    Or is this part of some master, evil plan? 😉

    BTW, I tried toning down the Puerco Pibil, but it didn`t scale the way I expected…guess I have some experimenting to do.

  42. I hope you feel better now Joe and that things on your mind start to clear up and settle in. stress is a bad thing, and sometimes we don’t even realize we are having it. Well ok, it could be your diet. but how unliklely is that.
    I read an article that said RDA is going to guest star on a new show on USA called Fairly Legal, the show starts Jan 20th, not sure if he will be in that episode or not.
    And Joe, wishing you the very best of luck in whatever avenue you will be taking. Glad you will continue to blog, I would miss you.

  43. As Tammy said Joe, PG’s workload is full. So you just walk away from The PG now. That’s it, hands up and stand over there while I.. **shoink**

    Deni – Just saw comment about Elway. Hope he’s on the mend soon. Is it cellulitis?

  44. My apologies if I missed it, but when do you pack up and leave Bridge Studio for the last time(barring the movies getting green-lighted and you getting called back in)? As for your symptoms, sounds like the creepy crud we’re starting to see around here, aka the flu. My sympathies, so long as you don’t call for an ambulance to take you to the hospital so that they can bill you a thousand bucks to tell you what you could have figured out by listening to me..
    loved the pictures and looking forward to your superbowl party. Or Cooper’s party. Whereever you folks gather at any rate.

  45. I would be up for the relaxed year off if I’d had a stressful awful time, say wrangling with Cybil Sheppard over bad lighting or ice boat fishing, but since you have tons of energy why not keep things rolling? Produce your own dream projects, projects that are close to your heart.

    Adapt a book, update a favorite film or create a brand new show-build your own prodco with your writing buddies — make one of them Syfy monster features, a cool new series, or produce that horror film that you guys took to LA a while back; the choices are limitless.

    When you go through your stack of dream projects I bet there are some that would only take you doing the hands off exec producer thing to get them cooking, and others that you’d need to be more hands on, but you juggle lots of things well.

    Even if you work on someone else’s show now you can keep that energy going and produce your own projects as well.

    I by contrast really need a year; last year was hell on wheels, like living with an angry flatulent Quato growing out of your belly who hogs the sheets and never stops complaining, so for me a year off would be heaven, but if you’ve come off a busy and happy year I say keep busy and happy!

    Then when you actually do need a year you’ll be able to take it. But no sense stopping when you are enjoying what you do.

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