Approximately a month after losing a bet to my co-worker Kerry, and following weeks of her incessant badgering and bothering, I finally paid up by accompanying her to a musical theater production of her choice. Her choice? Altar Boyz:

“…Altar Boyz tells the holy inspiring story of 5 small-town boys – Matthew, Mark, Luke, Juan and Abraham – trying to save the world one screaming fan at a time. Their pious pop act, including lyrics like “Girl You Make Me Wanna Wait” and “Jesus Called Me On My Cell Phone,” worked wonders on the Ohio bingo-hall-and-pancake-breakfast circuit. But when fate brings them to New York, will the boyz take a bite out of the forbidden apple? With angelic voices, sinfully spectacular dancing and a touching story, Altar Boyz is destined to rock the masses of all denominations!” (

Needless to say, I was dreading the performance for quite some time while Kerry, for her part, had been delighting in my discomfort, even going so far as to purchase the official Altar Boyz soundtrack to prepare me for (torment me prior to) the big night. Which was last night.

Despite my best efforts to duck out (“Hey, Carl, you know what would be a hilarious practical joke? If you went to the show instead of me!”), I met Kerry and Marty G. for dinner at Bin 942 where I had a glass of so-so Gewurztraminer, enjoyed some tasty tapas, and lost my sunglasses. Then, with twenty minutes to spare, it was off to Granville Island, community theatre central.

We had tickets in the fifth row, middle section and, as I settled into my seat, avoiding Kerry’s smirksome glances, I regretted not having brought along something to read. This, I thought, is going to be sheer Hell. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as the lights dimmed and the unseen announcer introduced The Altar Boyz. Showtime!

Well, I survived the experience, my sanity intact. And, I have to admit, I didn’t hate it. As someone who dislikes musical theater (and downright hates contemporary theater in general), that’s saying a lot. The show is a parody, hit and miss, but amusing enough to keep me entertained throughout. The songs are comically sanitized takes on various musical styles (“Girl You Make Me Want To Wait” was my personal favorite although it would have been downright spectacular had the woman they’d brought up on stage for the audience participation portion of the show been Kerry). Campy fun but certainly not the type of tunes you’ll be humming. And as for the performers – well, I thought they were all excellent, particularly David Hurwitz’s portrayal of the flamboyant Mark. All in all, I can think of worse ways to spend ninety minutes (network note calls immediately come to mind).

What made the evening even more special was that, while I didn’t mind the show, Kerry did. Very much. Throughout the performance, I would cast quick glances over at her cringing and frowning, her hand pressed up against her mouth like a witness to some gruesome accident attempting to stifle a horrified cry. Yep, she hated it. She felt the parody and humor didn’t go far enough, vacillating between satirical and deeply earnest and erring on the side of the latter.

I had a better time than Kerry.
I had a better time than Kerry did.

Kerry’s misery coupled with my surpassed low expectations had me surprisingly upbeat as I exited the auditorium, determined to hold her to her word and have her buy me an inspirational Altar Boyz t-shirt I promised to wear to the office. Alas, there was no merchandise for sale in the lobby and I ended up leaving empty-handed and bitterly disappointed.

Today, I received an email from Kerry in which she reiterates her dissatisfaction with the show and expresses shock and outrage at my positive response. She writes: “You were supposed to hate this more than me! Why didn’t you hate it, Joe!!!!!” and offers up her take: “…I found that it did not push the envelope AT ALL in its satire. So, instead, by playing it safe, they played it straight. And by playing it straight, it made my evening awkward because I felt like I was watching a high school production of a Christian musical that sometimes poke fun at itself.” She concludes with: “ Moral of the story is that this bet completely backfired as I ended up suffering through it more than you did. And let me tell you, that really grinds my gears. Why didn’t I just make you take me to Les Mis…”

Today’s entry is dedicated to blog regular for the love of Beckett.


Wonderingbrit writes: “But my mate’s daughter went with friends for an Indian meal in Chesterfield (UK) to celebrate leaving college…”

Answer: Congratulations. Used band-aid in the salad was a strong candidate but your story takes the award for Most Disgusting Anecdote.

OHinNJ writes: “One day, shortly after he started the job, he was sweeping up the trash and food scraps that had fallen on the floor. He looked around for a garbage can and saw a very large metal container filled with other food scraps, so he dumped the trash in. A little later he saw the sous chef dumping the contents of the container into a large pot on the stove, adding water and turning on the flame. Turned out that container held the vegetable scraps used to make soup stock. “

Answer: …Although this one came pretty close…

Pastrygirl writes: “Third is an industry story from one of the chefs I know – when he was working in a bakery, he witnessed one of the guys start a mixer and spew flour/other ingredients all over the floor. The guy then went and got the broom and dustpan (that’s right, the same one used to sweep up GARBAGE) and swept it all up and dumped it back into the mixer bowl, continuing to make whatever.”

Answer: As did this one.

Nadine writes: “So Joe, of the animated movies (not anime..) you’ve seen, do you have a favourite?”

Answer: Ratatouille.

Jedi43 writes: “I have also found hair in food that is not mine.”

Answer: The hair or the food?

Luis writes: “Joe you and Paul’s Comic book deal goes through will they be avaliable in the U.S??”

Answer: The company we’re in talks with is an American comic book publisher. So, yes.

Namiko writes: “The funny thing was, we were guests at a wedding and we were all given disposable cameras at the table (so they could have candid pictures of the party, I guess?), so we took pictures of the bug in my salad.”

Answer: Ha! Exactly what I would’ve done.

Tammy Dixon writes: “However, my sister-in-law went to Paris. She found bugs in her fresh oysters…”

Answer: Hey, this reminds me – speaking of odd things found in your food AND Jamil Walker Smith. Apparently, Jamil was out for dinner with the rest of the cast the other week, went to eat his oyster, and discovered a pearl inside! Much better than a bug.

Deni writes: “Bad news with Martok.”

Answer: Hey, Deni, as someone already said, the fact that you adopted the little guy offered him years of comfort and happiness he would not have otherwise enjoyed. Small solace, I know, but at least something to consider as you reflect back on him warmly.

Scary writes: “How would you define wraith Sexuality? Does our antiquated views on Sexual relations not apply to them? Are more open minded?”

Answer: This is something we never discussed in the room. So far, we know that the wraith warriors (the bruisers with the face masks) are clones produced by the Queen in conjunction with the organic hive ship. On the other hand, we have established that the Queens develop more a long the lines of their human female counterparts. As to how they and the keepers (the other males) are produced – that’s something we have yet to explore. In my view, if you want a sense of how the wraith procreate, you should look to the ever-industrious honey bee.

For the love of Beckett writes: “Tell us another story about your Dad?”

Answer: I’ll tell you two of my favorites. 1) Growing up, my sister and I drank a lot of orange juice – the frozen, concentrated kind you mixed with cold water. However, we were both incredibly lazy and hated going through the trouble of making the stuff so, rather than be the one to finish the juice and assume those duties, we’d drink it until there were many a couple of inches worth left at the bottom of the container and play the waiting game. Sometimes, it would go weeks, sitting there, fermenting as my sister and I waited for the other to blink. Then, one hot afternoon, my father walked into the kitchen after an hour’s yard work, poured himself a nice tall glass of what was left, and had a drink. He was so obviously so thirsty that it didn‘t register until, four or five seconds in (maybe three big gulps), he suddenly smelled what he was drinking. Best spit take ever! It covered the entire kitchen table. 2) My father always enjoyed a nice, tall glass of ice water. He’d poured himself a glass, drop in a couple of ice cubes, then head off into the living room to watch t.v. Once his show was over, he’d return to the kitchen, enjoy his cool glass of water, and head off to bed. Well, one night, while he was watching television, I heard a sound coming from the darkened kitchen. I poked my head inside, turned on the light, and caught our housecat, elbow deep in my father’s water glass, attempting to rescue an ice cube from its watery depths. It was incredibly cute and I made a mental note to tell my sister. I thought nothing of it until, an hour later, I walked back into the kitchen and discovered my father sitting there, the empty water glass in front of him. “Did you drink that?!”I asked, alarmed. “Yeah,”he replied, reading the panic in my voice. “Why?!” “Because the cat had his paw in there!”I informed him as if he should’ve known better.

Karen writes: “Do you just stay in your general area when dining out, or have you considered on traveling when you’re not working?”

Answer: This blog actually started as an online journal of my culinary tour of Asia. When I pick a vacation destination, it’s always with a mind to where I’ll be eating. Which is why I enjoy going to Vegas even though I don’t really gamble or enjoy shows, and why I’ll be returning to Tokyo later this year.

PG15 writes: “Is Brad Wright writing episode 17? Is this the episode you refered to today with “Brad’s story”?”

Answer: 16, 17, 18. Whatever. These episodes get bounced around the schedule so often it doesn’t really mean anything until the show airs.

Mary A. Milan writes: “Did you actually reshoot the scene of Jack eating Fruit Loops and Daniel saying “It’s just how I feel” everytime? Or did you reuse the same footage?”

Answer: Whew, that was a while ago. To best of my recollection, those were different takes.

Iamza writes: “Except that volume one is essentially that same fleeting glimpse at post-zombie apocalypse life that we have seen in countless horror films/books/comics…”

Answer: True, but you have to lay the groundwork first.  He starts at the beginning – where most other zombie productions do – with a protagonist coming to terms with the initial onslaught.  Then, where other zombie stories leave off, he keeps on going, getting into the survivors’ interpersonal relationships and their subsequent struggles.

Iamza also writes: “Any chance you could talk some of the cast of SGU into doing a Q&A session after the shows airs? From twitter, they seem like an insanely good-natured bunch.”

Answer: They are a great bunch.  I’ve already floated the idea by several of them and they’ve all been very receptive.  Now it’s all a matter of when the studio gives the okay.

65 thoughts on “June 23, 2009: A Cracking Spot of Thee-Atah!

  1. Just quizzing you about the honey bee type sexuality because it isn’t logical, if only because of all those males. Worker bees are all sterile females, all hymenoptera (ants, wasps et al) with some form of societal structure are like this, and the only males produced are drones, which are kicked out during winter months because they do nothing for the hive except eat. As they are produced from unfertilised eggs, it means their DNA is haploid as opposed to diploid and means that genetic diversity can be a real problem. Termites don’t count because they are more closely related to cockroaches. So, what gives?

    Apart from the above, if Queens develop like human females, then presumably they gestate? My, that’s an awful lot of kids for one female to be popping out.

  2. Although there are similarities, I’m not suggesting that wraith reproduction and social structure directly parallel that of honey bees. Those masked wraith warriors, clones, are essentially drones of the hive structure.

  3. Hey Joe,

    I guess I should have figured an animated movie about food would be your pic….

    Have you seen Hayao Miyazaki’s works? (i.e. Spirited Away, etc.) You know he has a new one called “Ponyo” coming out in August ? I read a graphic novel of his that I really enjoyed: Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind… The movie they made of it wasn’t great, comparatively speaking.

    I think I’ve read (heard?) that story about your dad before. Was it the basis for Cam’s anecdote about “the spit-take of all spit-takes” in Ripple Effect?

    Speaking of cats: we have had several cats in the last couple years – we lost two females (they were out-door cats, and they just never came back; we think it was coyotes, bears, cougars, or something) and one of them was named Marmalade and a tiny little thing.

    Anyway, one evening we got home and she was up on the kitchen table licking the butter out of the butter dish. Only problem was, this was the first time we’d caught her doing it… Needless to say, we put the butter in the fridge after that 😀

    Oh! Forgot to say: Kerry probably should have taken you to Les Mis. I went with family friends a couple weeks ago and found it thoroughly enjoyable. Even if you’re not a fan of musicals (and they’re not usually my first choice of entertainment) the singing alone was very good, and the songs rather poignant.


  4. Random thought: What this blog needs is a good pie fight. Three Stooges, the Great Race or Blazing Saddles?

    “Yankee bean soup, coleslaw, and tuna surprise.”

  5. Oh how delicious. You were not tortured and Kerry was, though you were the loser of the bet. I guess that’s karma paying you back for being nice enough to keep us entertained on this blog. The nice fat mailbag is also appreciated.
    As for speculation on Wraith sexuality, is it possible that before the cloning of drones/warriors started that the keeper males(Das ought to love that term) are drones who have recieved special hormones at some point to promote their greater sentience and humanoid development? Just wondering because of the implications that would bring about. What happens if a colony of drones is exposed to the changing agent?
    Anyways, thanks again for the report of your outing, and Kerry’s suffering.

  6. Joe: I need to hijack your blog to get votes for Lou Diamond Phillips so he can win for his charity. I hope you will be okay with that.

    We have from now until 4:00 a.m. EST Wednesday, June 24 to crown Lou Diamond Phillips King of the Jungle. Stargate FAN POWER overcame American Idol fan power as Sanjaya was voted out. Don’t let Lou down (and his charity). Rally all your friends. Twitter, Facebook, MySpace (Joe Mallozzi’s blog). Whatever. You can vote 10x per valid phone number (VoIP might be limited; see for details). You can also vote 10 times per valid email address. We have a home line and 2 cell phones so that is 30 votes there and 10 votes on-line (I have two computer and 2 email addresses). The phone number is 1 877 553 3706. Both voting methods are free.

  7. Now about your Altar Boyz event. That is funny how that turned out. If you go into something with low to no expectations, you wind up not being disappointed. When your expectations are high and you are expecting the best thing ever, it always seems to never work out.

  8. How devilish of you to enjoy Altar Boyz – must have tasted sweet 🙂 Love the picture of Kerry.

  9. @ Nadine: i prefer not to say which school i go to on a public area like this, but i go to a college and i love the smaller classrooms. also, we get to talk with our instructors if we need anything or if we are having trouble with anything. it’s a lot more personable. and i went to high school here in Vancouver and also for the last 2 years of elementary school.
    although i’m not attending school during the summer, i’m supposed to be keeping up with studying and remembering all the latin from previous semesters, but i haven’t picked up my books at all since i started working. I really should start or else i’m going to be kicking myself come fall semester!

  10. Well goshdarnit, I was hoping to read a blog entry by Baron Destructo about the mayhem he had planned for everyone involved in the making of The Altar Boyz. Also making a plural with z instead of s is like so 2 yrz ago. and b4.

    I enjoyed your reminiscing about your father, and am glad for the love of Beckett requested that. Also, the account of you and your sister’s brinksmanship over the OJ made me grin. My bro often left just an ounce or half a piece of something so I’d have to exert myself to get more. Finally I decided to get back at him by sucking all the juice out of the ice pops my mom had made, leaving only a worthless nub on each one. Full-scale war ensued, which I think only ended because we both wound up as war criminals, and had to come up with ways to sneak each other MAD magazines.

  11. PS: I think maggiemayday had a great idea about a blog pie-fight. And the dishes she listed would all make great ammo. 😀

  12. Joe, I’m so proud of you! I am glad you extended some professional courtesy and did not trash the production. Can you imagine Stargate going on stage live every night? It must be grueling to put yourself out there like that every performance. I’m impressed. You are a nice guy!

  13. Ha, I wondered if the bet would backfire! (Just because it seemed like ‘the thing that might happen’ not because I know the slightest thing about theater.)
    My memory just got jogged by the band-aid mention: last Saturday I was at a retreat-type centre (the type with cabins and a main hall, dining area, and smaller meeting rooms, and a great view and kangaroos we’re not allowed to feed) (I was just there during the day, though I have previously stayed there for some five-day camps) and during lunch we were talking about the cordial (they have two big drums, one of orange and one of green (ick!) from which we dole it out into jugs) and someone related how at a previous camp a friend had discovered a band-aid in their drink… who knows how far back it had entered? Was just the one jug contaminated, or the whole barrel?

    And on the topic of hair, my mum’s hair seems to end up in something I’m eating every few months.

  14. Hey Joe, how’s Pride and Prejudice and Zombies going? I thought my brother was reading a story from his ‘joke’ online news when he told me about that book. I wouldn’t believe him until I saw a copy in Chapters ( I don’t trust my brother, so I wouldn’t even believe it when he showed me it on the online book stores)

    My worst food story was eating a piece of cheesecake when I was a kid. It was sort of chunky and hard and I couldn’t get a couple of pieces to melt down, so I spit the pieces out into my hand, they came with blood as they were actually pieces of glass. The restaurant apologies and offered to get me another piece of cheesecake to replace the ‘glassy’ one. My mother looked at the manager dumbfounded to think we’d actually want more cheesecake and then asked if it would be from a different cheesecake. The manager said no!

  15. Sounds like a movie that tries to make fun of Christian rock but does so unsuccessfully, which means it’s offensive to both people who like good parody and people who like Christian rock. As someone who enjoys both, that sounds like a miss to me.

    That comic book company wouldn’t be Dark Horse, would it?

  16. Joe, why thankyou sir – sadly though, I still cringe at the thought.

    I would NOT recommend it’s use for After Dinner Speaking, no matter what the circumstances.

  17. Thank you, Joe. That was a kind thing to do.

    Thanks also for the stories about your Dad. Loved them. If I had been drinking something at the time, I would’ve done a spit take just reading about it. (My own Dad downs apple juice, water, and ice cubes after yardwork.) Between that and Kerry’s dismay at the musical that didn’t kill you (poor Kerry), I laughed really hard. There’s what happens on stage, and what people do when things don’t go as planned. Both can be good theater. And good comic relief.

  18. So Amanda Tapping, Martin Wood and Damian Kindler are going to Tokyo to promote Sanctuary. If you wanna give restaurant/sightseeing musts to do in the 3 minutes they likely aren’t scheduled, they don’t leave til Thursday…

    Have a great day. 🙂

  19. “Jedi43 writes: “I have also found hair in food that is not mine.”

    Answer: The hair or the food?”
    The food was what I ordered…the hair in it was not.

  20. Hi, Joe
    Did you know who will go to Comic-Con this year?
    Is there any chance that all the main cast would be there?

  21. I was walking back to work from lunch today. What do I see? A guerrilla on Lankershim.

    Some guy dressed in a guerrilla suit was squatting next to a tree at the bus stop. Why do people do this in L.A.? I mean seriously, do you have man-apes at bus stops in Vancouver?

  22. I just discovered something fun this morning on youtube: Drunk History. If you’re interested, go to the channel by that name, I cannot yet say if any of the copycat stuff is any good.

  23. Hi Joe:

    I would like to announce that I have recently found employment as a journalist. Yes, I am now with the press. I love what I do. I get to meet really interesting people and write a lot. I’d almost be willing to work for free, it’s so much fun. I should have done this years and years ago. Anyway, even though it’s not script writing, would you consider it a step closer to writing for t.v or film? Would it get my foot in the door?


  24. Comment on the rest of the blog later, but first things first:

    Your first story about your father = Cam’s story to Evil Cam in Ripple Effect. Wow. That is cosmic. Now we know where it came from. Haha.

  25. I usually don’t comment that often but reading your two stories about your dad I was reminded of my dad and is strange experience with Swedish milk.
    It wasn’t our first time in Sweden, about the third time I think. My father wanted to buy some milk and found those containers saying “Viel mjölk” on them. Well he thought it sounded a lot like the German word for Whole milk “Vollmilch” and expected it to be whole milk. Wanting to pay for the four litres of “Viel mjölk” he got raised eybrows from the cashier who asked “Viel mjölk???” and my father just said “Yeah, sure!”
    Let’s just say that I had a good laugh at his face when the buttermilk dropped heavily into his coffee cup. 😀

  26. Thanks for the nice picture of Jamil–even if he had to convince you to post it. 😉

    Haven’t been around much due to lack of internet and moving plans. There is nothing worse than planning a big life-altering trip across two states. More headache than excitement. Guess that part comes later.

    I think it’s hilarious, ironic, and yet, not surprising that you liked it more than Kerry. Being a musical theatre lover, seeing clips on YouTube…I was horrified. As she mentioned, it did seem more earnest than satirical. Not my cup of tea. I can’t believe they didn’t have a meet-and-greet after! That would have been priceless. Or merchandise. I went to Movin’ Out and they had tons of stuff. Must be the locale? You mentioned a community theatre district. So probably not a sanctioned off-Broadway tour–most likely why there were no goodies for the crowd.

    Glad to hear you’ve been busy!

  27. Hahahaha

    I shouldn’t have even had to look at the answer for the animated movie question. I nearly woke up the entire house by letting a deafining laugh rip(I managed to keep it in). I just realized that movie is perfect for you and was made for you.. The answer was just so you. So let me guess, your favorite real movie is No Reservations.

    I really don’t know why I thought your answer was funny. I have a couple loose wires, or as my dad suggest, my mental energy is mostly directed elsewhere. My dad is soo awesome(speaking of that thanks for sharing those stories) LOL

    As for the thing with Kerry, I’m glad for you.. Even though you lost the bet, you still were victorious in the end…… Ish

    Thanks so much,
    Major D. Davis

  28. You are a never-ending source of hilarious escapades. Really. It needs to be a sitcom.

    Poor Kerry. It would have been fantastic if you had been miserable throughout and if she would have loved it.

  29. Mary A. Milan writes: “Did you actually reshoot the scene of Jack eating Fruit Loops and Daniel saying “It’s just how I feel” everytime? Or did you reuse the same footage?”

    Answer: Whew, that was a while ago. To best of my recollection, those were different takes.

    Oooh, I know this one! Commentary nerd to the rescue. Peter Deluise reshot both sides each time, but in the editing process he found the take of Daniel he liked best and used it over and over with each different iteration of Jack. So the answer is kind of both.

    He was also very particular about the placement of the Foot Loops on Jack’s spoon, insisting that there be a purple on in front and a green one in back. (Or was that the other way around…? Guess I’ll just have to go watch the episode again. 🙂 )

  30. “went to eat his oyster, and discovered a pearl inside!”

    How is that possible? The Oysters which produce pearls are not the same species as the ones you eat. Pearling Oysters are never eaten.

    Check it out online if you don’t believe me…

    You’ve been had Joe!

  31. @Love/Beckett, sorry to hear about your loss.

    Enjoyed your Dad stories Joe. And quite diabolical of you to enjoy the show, although its what I expected from you.

  32. Gotta agree with the karma bit. You can always get a t-shirt online….or maybe someone will be kind enough to send you one if you post your preferred size.

    Next time, go see “Nunsense”. I think Kerry would like that one…& you might too!

  33. “Jedi43 writes: “I have also found hair in food that is not mine.”

    Answer: The hair or the food?”
    The food was what I ordered…the hair in it was not.
    P.S. – Sorry, forgot to tell you great post!

  34. Proud of you Joe, for trying something new. You didn’t hate, doesn’t mean you liked it, but you tolerated it, you expanded your horizons.

    Do you think you would try another one??

  35. I’m really surprised by this. Who knew Kerry wanted envelope-pushing, and Joe just wanted an evening of song and dance! Heh. 🙂

    Hmm. I wonder what Kerry thought of Ratatouille? Sorry Joe – that one just didn’t do it for me. Somewhere along the line it sacrificed fun for sentimentality and message, and it kinda fell flat with me. *shrugs* Maybe it just needed more albinos… 😉

    Thanks for the stories about your dad. The spit-take one reminded me of something that happened to my brother-in-law back when he was a teenager.

    Norm (my brother-in-law) was taking a shower – a loooooong shower – and his younger brother needed to piddle, but the bathroom door was locked. His folks told him to hurry up, but to no avail. So, they had his little brother pee in an empty 7-Up bottle…

    When Norm came out of the bathroom, they asked if he’d like some 7-Up and offered him the bottle. He grabbed it, took a big swig…sensed how unusually warm it was…and BLEEEEECH! Spit it out all over everyone! Yum! 😛


  36. The comment about the Wraith and bees totally makes sense, not only in respect to their ‘sexuality’, but also in the way they function as a society. Very clever.

    Now, for my questions to Mr Paul McGillion:

    “First of all, you have done a fantastic job bringing Dr. Carson Beckett to life. So much so, that my laptop has been christened Carson in your honour. 🙂 And it was such a treat to see you in the new Star Trek film (you would have made an awesome Scotty, btw) & an episode of 24. Now to my questions:

    1) David Hewitt mentioned on his Twitter that “StarCrossed” has been given a green light. How is the development of the show coming along? Has the production started already? I’m assuming you’ll be the star 🙂

    2) I’m going to my first convention at Shoreleave in July. Any words of wisdom for a newbie? Any messages for Mr. Momoa? 😉

    3) And last, but not least, you have an open invitation for a BBQ at our house whenever you’re in T.O.”

  37. PS…

    Oh, Joe…about Wraith reproduction. Perhaps you should do a little research into the matter before you just go and blurt things out. For instance, are you aware that when bees mate, part of the male reproductive system breaks off inside the female, forming a ‘mating plug’, after which the male falls to the ground, and dies?

    “The products of the male mucus gland follow the semen and harden on contact to air. Immediately after eversion, the male is paralysed and falls away from the queen. The mucus plus the endophallus and cornua portions of the male genitalia, which are left behind, become the mating sign, visible outside of the queen’s abdomen.”

    Not exactly the mental image of Wraith you want to be giving fans, eh? 😉


  38. Hi Joe!

    Have you been watching Next Food Network Star? Who do you think will win? I like Jeffrey or Jamika. Have a great day!!

    from Indiana

  39. Thanks Joe for answering my question. : )

    Earlier you mention a lengthly hiatus coming up. How long is it and is it longer then usual?

    Have you had the opportunity to check out Lou on “I AM A CELEBRITY, GET ME OUT OF HERE”? I could only stand to watch a few moments at a time. Lou does looks like he might win.

  40. I’m definitely not an expert on oysters, so I looked up a website on oysters:

    Quote from the article:
    “Although it is possible for food oysters to produce pearls, they should not be confused with actual pearl oysters, which are from a different family of bivalves.”

    So Jamil could have found a pearl, which is MUCH better than finding a bug.

    Thank you for the stories, Mr. M.


  41. CRAP! I didn’t realize the deadline for Paul’s questions was, like, JUNE 12!!! that’s what happens when redirected from another site… My Apologies.

  42. Ok,
    The two major titles in my opinion for episode 19 is either hope or duel, I am seriously leaning toward hope, considering it is one of those, oh yeah it almost shares a title with atlantis but not quite(To me it sounded like it was a “Oh yeah that’s cool, you have a good eye”, and if you said one of the episodes was hope, I would not even think about the one letter thing, it’s something only Carl could notice and therefore given the circumstances, my guess is that episode 19’s title is hope.

    So am I right?

    Come on, it’s not like this is a spoiler, it’s just a title!

    Oh and what about MGM’s secret project… all news and hints and updates disappeared about a month ago.. I mean seriously, how long is it gonna take? I am dying!!!

    THANKS so much, 🙂
    Major D. Davis

  43. In High School, nobody ate at our cafeteria, because the students made the food. If anything had to be wasted they would lose marks, more specifically, anything dropped on the floor would be picked up and continued to be made.

  44. And for some added creep factor of things you’ve found in food or beverages…my nanna regales us of the moment last year when she reached for her glass of water on the night stand and took a sip only to feel something wiggling in her mouth…she spat it into her hand and it was a white tail spider (…..BLECH!

    What is it you dislike about the theatre contemporary or musical??

    Were you ever ‘forced’ to see Wicked?? That show rocked!!


  45. Wait just a dog gone minute!! I bet you really did hate the show. I bet one of your co-workers came up with the idea of pretending to like it to drive Kerry crazy.

    “Pissst, Joe. Just pretend you like it. That’ll get her!”.

    Fess up! Come clean! Who told you that? Carl? Surely not Ashleigh? Gerooooo!!

  46. Sorry you didn’t get a t-shirt from the performance. But you can say, been there ,done that,,,(sorry no t-shirt),,awww, that was bad, sorry..
    Hey while on vac, you can do the food blog thingy, since I assume you will be eating out some. Sharing is almost half as much fun as eating the foods. believe me I enjoy the pictures and descriptions. so colorful. and I just know you will include a dessert ot three. thanks in advance.
    other wise have a grand day!!! 😎

  47. When I worked for a restaurant in a mall, the cooks there would spit their chewing tobacco out on the grill just randomly. It was gross. This was in Florida.

  48. @Das: re Wraithy/bee nasty bits, ewwwww.

    PBMom: Seeing how this was in Florida, at least tell us what restaurant, or initials, anyway! Ewww again.

  49. @ Joe – Oh, sorry – didn’t see your disclaimer in the third post. Still…best to brush up on your honey bee reproduction before you go off all willy-nilly like that again. 😉

    Personally, I like some of the ideas that come from bee/wasp reproduction, such as males produced from unfertilized eggs, young hatched from cells (pods) instead of natural birth, and stored semen, allowing the Queen to reproduce for several years, perhaps, from just one mating. All of that could certainly be easily incorporated into Wraith reproduction. Just the mating in mid-air and break-away genitalia would be a bit over-the-top.


  50. My mother greatly enjoyed the story of the cat and the water glass, because she has had experiences several times with my cat trying to drink out of her water glass.
    Thanks for the funny stories!

  51. @ Lisa – Yeah – okay. I looked. 😯 *shudder*

    I’ll never learn, will I?? 😛

    On a happy note…I’m totally loving The Metatemporal Detective, and I just picked up 14 new comics today…so, needless to say, there is a good reason I’m not around much lately.

    Oh, and I bought more crap at the antique shop – some brass doo-hickey (it looks like an ornate knife rest), a beautiful brass dish with designs in it (comes from Korea and is nothing like the typical brassware out of India), a Oriental wood and brass box with a fancy fish lock, and a really cool incense burner that looks exactly like this:

    The only difference is that the one in that picture supposedly has an inscription reading ‘made in France’ inside the lid, and mine does not – suggesting that mine is probably a cheap copy. It still looks cool, though!


  52. Cheers for the response, but I will also add that drones are fertile males and are produced by the hive purely for the purpose of breeding. I presume the warriors are not produced for this reason, given that they are barely sentient and interbreeding with such would also hamper any form of evolution?

    In common with a number of other people, I have always seen the society of Wraith as somewhat wolf-like, given their rigid hierarchical society, and the rights of a Commander would be linked to retaining his alpha position. Your thoughts on this would be appreciated.

    So, hive ships are male then, but that would place ‘The Seed’ in question, would it not? Or would a Hive developed from a female be sterile?

    Take it easy. 🙂

  53. And Lou Diamond Phillips is the King of the Jungle!!!!!! Awesome. Now Joe, when he comes back, you’ll have to do something very special for him to make him feel at home… like a special food immunity trial.

  54. Das’s take on the the semen storage is quite plausible…however, if the females are raised from infancy then how would that work? Would they gestate within the Queen (which would be an inconvenience, considering their hazardous lifestyle), or be released as an egg only to be removed from it’s cell once it’s developed enough?
    If they are in fact, like bees, it takes a substance akin to royal jelly to produce a Queen. Would this be an additional perk to a males secretions, the hive playing a part, or the birthing Queen herself creates it. Now comes the matter of whether or not it is a voluntary or involuntary biological mechanism.

  55. @ Tammy Dixon and drldeboer

    Thanks for sending good thoughts this way. You’re right; losing a pet does feel like losing a child. My Mom surprised me by saying that was true even if you already did have kids. Now I don’t feel so silly. Drldeboer, special thanks to you for thinking of me/the rest of us who’ve recently lost loved animals. That pales in comparison to losing your Mom. Be well….

    Just put The Speed of Dark on hold at the library. That should be a great BOTM selection for Aug. Reading the online excerpt alone sucked me in. It begins like one of those neat, character-driven British mystery novels. The kind that keep you up way past bedtime. Can’t wait to read it.

    Narelle, you do so “add something of value” to the BOTM – your wit. So does everyone else. This is really worth the read, and everyone’s two cents.

  56. Eek! Forgot the smiley, to end on an “up” beat.

    Narelle, you do so “add something of value” to the BOTM – your wit. So does everyone else. The Speed of Dark is really worth the read, and everyone’s two cents. 😀

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.