My writing partner Paul gave me a call this afternoon to go over the game plan for tomorrow’s conference call. As I mentioned in a previous post, Paul and I have an awesome SF series idea (complete with accompanying pilot script) we’ve been dying to go out with but, because of our continuing commitment to the Stargate franchise, have been unable to pursue. So what’s the next best thing to producing your own t.v. series? Why, producing your own comic book series of course. One of the things I’ve always loved about comics is that they afford writers a certain creative latitude denied them in film and television. You tell the story that’s in your head without worrying about things like the visual effects budget or whether the average audience member is going to understand what the hell a “liquid-shifting nanite construct” is. The series runs for as long as it takes you to tell the story. And, hey, if it garners a respectable fan base then, a couple of years down the line, all the more reason to turn it into a t.v. series.

Anyway, Paul and I discussed and agreed that I would lead the pitch. I know the concept backwards and forwards, having run the various arc and character details through my head endlessly over the past couple of years. All the twists, turns, shocks, surprises, exhilarating developments, and bittersweet revelations – ready to go. Paul is really looking forward to it I think, more than anything, for the change of pace after finally completing work on his Stargate Universe, Divided. He’s apparently been going into the office every morning to get in a couple of hours solitary writing time.

“Have you seen Ashleigh?”I was almost afraid to ask. Ashleigh, the show’s executive producer’s assistant just got back from a holiday in Mexico and I’m understandably a little nervous about her spreading any potential germs around the workplace.

“Yeah,”replied Paul. “She’s been around.”

By “around”, I assumed he meant “in her office with the door closed” and didn’t think anything of it. Until later today when I received the following email from our script coordinator, Lawren:

“Just so you know I caught Ashleigh in your office. I don’t know how long it takes to book the CDC to come do a cleanup but you might want to look into it.


Caught? In my office?! I tried to calm myself.  How bad could it be? Well, there were pics attached to the email. I clicked on the first one and this came up –


That’s my office! I recognize my supervillain statues! It looks like she’s about to sneeze on my desk! “Calm down,”I told myself. Maybe she’s just meditating. Or chanting.  She went into my office to drop something off and no doubt left immediately. I clicked on the next image –


WTF?!!! She took a freakin’ nap! With her face resting on a script! I may need to read that script at some point!! I made a mental note to trash all the documents on my desk and have Lawren print up new copies of everything. Relieved, I clicked on the next pic. Surely, it couldn’t get any worse –


Oh, come on! Not my Gordon Ramsay Sunday Brunch cookbook! And my couch! There are occasions when I sit on that couch!

Fine. Lose everything on the desk. Lose the cookbook. Lose the couch. Guess I’ll have to make do with just my desk and phone.



Forget it. Let’s just move on to the mailbag –

Trish writes: “So only one word titles for season 1. Interesting. Hey… maybe season 2 epis can use two words, season 3 can use three words and so on!”

Answer: If I have my way.

Thornyrose writes: “You’ll have to make your twitter updates a regular feature. and I think I may have to organize an Ashleigh fan club.”

Answer: Don’t encourage her.

And today’s twitter updates –

Lulu’s dog food smells like dog food.

I stopped to get gas today.

They should spell it Wensday, like it sounds.

“Packing cashews” would be more appropriate than “packing peanuts” because they look more like cashews.

Why do so many sun hats have that big honking sunflower on top?

I don’t regret never learning to juggle.

I saved a worm yesterday by flicking it off the dry pavement and onto the grass.

I like mahogany.

PG15 writes: “1. Again, alluding to the past, you once said that you guys were discussing making Rob’s pitch for Episode 17 into the season finale (March 10th entry). Did you guys end up doing that, or is that pitch still for episode 17?

2. How far are you guys along on series planning? How much of Season 2 do you guys have mapped out?”

Answers: 1. The story that formerly occupied the 17 slots is now the season finale.

2. Brad and Rob have a rough idea where they want the series to go, however we won’t start fleshing out season two until we’ve completed script work on this first season.

DasNdanger writes: “Hey – any consideration to my suggestion about inviting Mr. Moorcock into the book of the month suggestion?”

Answer: I’m a big fan of his work (I read the Elric saga ages ago). He seems like a very busy man but, hey, it wouldn’t hurt to send out an invitation. Which of his books are you thinking of?

Ytimyona writes: “I’m so intrigued by the whole “shooting on location” thing. Is this a permanent location, where they will be shooting several times a year, or is the NM location for one or two episodes only?”

Answer: For now, it’s a one-time distant location shoot for one episode – Air III.

Ytimyona also writes: “Ashleigh is awesome. She should do a guest blog…”

Answer: What did I say about encouraging her?!

Jarnin writes: “Back when Atlantis first started up and we got to see the new gate, there was always something that bothered me about it: It only had 36 symbols on it, or rather, it could only display 36 symbols when lit up. The gate used in the Milky Way had 39 symbols on it, so I was hoping you could answer a couple questions:

1. Technically speaking, would this cause problems now that Atlantis is on Earth? One would think it would be like trying to use a phone that is missing a few numbers on the keypad.

3. Do you know why the Atlantis gate prop was designed with only 36 symbols? I know they redesigned it from scratch, but was it a symmetry thing or logistics?”

Answers: 1. Good question. The Pegasus symbols are different so the gate and DHD would have to be synced to the Milky Way system. Such an “upgrade” would have to account for the lack of symbols.

2. I’m not sure why it was designed this way.

Tim Molter writes: “How is Stargate Universe going to be different from Battlestar Galactica, Firefly, or the Star Trek series?”

Answer: Let’s see…by being a completely different series.

Major D. Davis writes: “1. Has Fire become a two parter?

2. Is the special project that MGM is creating a trailer? If so when will we get to see it. If not, when will we get to see the next SGU trailer(Its been about a month)?

3. Have you seen West Wing before? Do you like it?

I am still pretty new so bear with this q please

4. When a episode’s credits include You and Paul as writers, does that mean that both you and Paul wrote the episode. If not why are your names always together in writing credits?

5. What SGU episode(besides Air) are you most psyched about?(Its ok if you say Space, You’re a fantastic writer)”

Answers: 1. Boy, not giving up on this one, huh?

2. I have no idea what this is a reference to.

3. Never watched it.

4. No. Paul and I haven’t co-written an episode for years although we did co-write the SGA movie.

5. Right now, I’m psyched about the show in general.

Jenazz writes: “Re the Atlantis gate on earth – given that the gate symbols/constellations on the Pegasus gates are completely different from those on the Milky Way gates, however could it be compatible?”

Answer: As I said above, the Pegasus gate would need to be recalibrated to sync with the Milk Way gate system.

PG15 writes: “Hey Joe, looks like Craig Engler at SciFi beat you to the punch in the “showing new pics of SGU” department.”

Answer: Hey, aint that a kid in the head. Guess he’s got better connections.

Workin’ Hard writes: “Off topic, I was wondering if y’all over at SGU (on the writing staff) use a script formatting software. If so, which one(s)?”

Answer: Movie Magic Screenwriter.

Narelle from Aus writes: “I was wondering, do you enjoy being on the end of the Stargate battering ram?”

Answer: Yep. It offers no end of amusement.

DasNdanger writes: “We know Wraith see such emotions as mercy, fear, compassion, etc., as weaknesses, and will do their best to suppress those feelings. But – in your mind – do you think Wraith still feel such things as guilt, regret, compassion, doubt, and other ‘angsty’ emotions inside, though not allowing them to show on the outside? Or are such emotions totally foreign to them?”

Answer: They certainly do “feel” all those emotions but have matured in a social hierarchy that forces them to suppress them.

Jedi Master writes: “an as far as the “promise” of an Atlantis movie well, its off, its on, it’s a maybe, its off due to financially reason, its back on again !!!”

Answer: It was never “off again”. It’s status never changed from “on”. It’s always been a matter of nailing down a production date. My advice to you is not to jump on every rumor you hear and accept it as fact.

Jedi Master also writes: “An WHY is a SG1 movie being done first!!!”

Answer: Actually, we don’t have a firm production date for that either.

Jedi Master also writes: “An the hype about the SG1 appearing in the show was just that hype, we really are NOT that stupid, this was a desperate attempt to get back lost viewers…”

Answer: It’s interesting to note that those of you who take this view about members of SG-1 appearing in the SGU premiere conveniently forget that both Richard Dean Anderson and Michael Shanks guested in the Atlantis premiere. What’s with that?

78 thoughts on “May 6, 2009: Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  1. I. Love. Ashleigh. (I hope she smeared a booger under your desk.)



  2. You know Joe, I’m liking Ashleigh more and more every day. I’m beginning to think you’ve met your match!

  3. Super hilarious! I especially like the last picture. That is an evil genius at work. I’m sure Ashleigh will do a great job taking over your blog for you when you are hospitalized with the swine flu. By the way, how are you feeling?

  4. You do realise we all fudged the application/interview process to get Ashleigh hired right? She’s on our payroll buddy… mwha-mwhaha-mwhahahahahaha.

    I’m glad there’s amusement to be had from the continual fan beatings. It takes a special person.

  5. I’m sorry Mr. M. but after those pictures, the SGA fan club is a must(Stargate Ashleigh, working title for the moment). Though I do have a recommendation. A gallon of bleach, five gallon bucket of water, heavy duty rubber gloves, some washclothes or towels you don’t mind being ruined by the bleach, and a couple of fans for circulation. Also, a couple of containers of alochol based sani-wipes. Pour a few cupfuls of bleach into water, dip towels in, and wipe all exposed surfaces in your office. If you are having respiratory distress even with the fans running, dilute the water and continue. Air out, then repeat the process with the alcohol wipes. Your color scheme might suffer but any and all of those nasty germs should be history.
    Wishing you the best of luck on tomorrow’s pitch. As I’ve said, I’ll pay out for a subcription, sight unseen, of your proposed comic series. That should give you a built in market of at least 20 people,not including yourself and Mr. Mullie. That ought to be enough to tempt someone to back you…thanks for the pre-bedtime smiles.

    @DasnDanger: look up the number for your state’s medical board. File a report on the physican who dropped you as a patient. While it may not get any action taken against him, the fact that such complaints are on file will start to attract attention and allow someone to apply pressure on him. Meantime, good luck getting all the issues resolved. With all the frustrations you’ve mentioned I shudder to think of what your BP has been running at minus the meds.

  6. Hello joe,
    You had said a couple days ago that the reason we could not see the destiny set pics was because MGM had something special. Is the special thing a trailer? You have never watched west wing?!?!?? Oh my goodness you are so missing out. Besides Stargate, west wing Is my fav show. You have to check it out. Oh and thanks for answering my questions and for posting a funny action packed danger filled entry. Better call the bio chemests. You are so funny and just plain awesome.

    P.S. I will just assume fire is a two parter until otherwise noted.

    Thanks so much,
    Major D. Davis

  7. @das

    She could just sneeze on joe’s desk and then rub in a million boogers. Or she could just plant a single one on the earpiece or mouthpeice of joe’s phone

    I know I know. Overvboard. I’m out of here. goodnight

  8. Hey Joe…

    Ashleigh seems like an awesome co-worker! Hey, tomorrow is my birthday! I’m turning 16…finally!

    From what has been released so far in terms of trailers, interviews, etc. what do you think of the new Star Trek movie? Will you go see it?

    Thanks Joe.

  9. I think you may have met your match in Ashleigh. I’d suggest it might be time to haul out the suit you met the Becket protesters in. A little godfather vibe might put her off balance. Then again, she has spunk and I like spunk!

  10. Okay…now onto more serious things…

    ‘Twitter’ = 😆

    Joe…you may (or may not) believe this, but yesterday I saved a worm in the same way, too!! Well, I actually picked it up because I’m tougher than you. 😀 But anyway, maybe we did it at the same exact time…MAYbe you’re an alternate reality ME!

    Yeah, I don’t think so either. 😛

    RE: Mr. Moorcock. Well…As I understand it, his newer writings are fairly complicated, probably too deep for me to get my head around (hey – I’m still working on the ‘eternal champion’ concept! 😆 ). I imagine he’s probably sick and tired of discussing Elric, but something from the Elric saga would be my choice because that’s what I’m reading now, preferrably one that falls chronologically at the beginning (unless I get to Stormbringer before I expect).

    Ugh. I don’t know. Maybe you should ask Sparrow_hawk – she’s WAY sharper than I am. 😀 Or, if Mr. Moorcock is agreeable, perhaps he could suggest a book.

    And thanks for answering my Wraithy question. I suppose I’d like to see more of their emotional range when no one else is watching, much like we did with the Wraith in Vegas, and to an extent with Todd, when he was left ‘pouting’ in that cell in Infection. He certainly doesn’t like not getting his way, eh? 😉 Not sure if you have anything like that planned for the movie, but I’ve always enjoyed those moments when the audience catches a character showing an emotion that the other characters never see.

    Thanks again, sir! Have a pleasant, and germy germ-free, evening! 😈


  11. Concerning the whole sneezing thing, let me set your mind at ease… imagine how much old, stale snot you are breathing in right now that has cycled through the air across the world and into your mouth. See? Not so bad.

    Actually, I don’t think that will help you at all. Ah, well.

    Concerning the lesser amount of glyphs on the Pegasus stargates, I always figured that it had fewer glyphs because fewer were needed in a smaller galaxy.

    Have a good night!

  12. Holy hell, she is a she-demon, that’s for sure!

    Ok, it’s revenge time. Ohhhh yes, we will concoct a revenge so evil, so heinous, so…evil, that even Baron Destructo himself will cower at its mere mention! COWER I SAY.

    Oh, I know, how about you reveal to us her private information so, you know, um, we can know things about her without her approval? Just like she entered your office and turned it into a typical hospital waiting room without your approval! Each of us can ask you something private about her, and you can tell us the answer. It’ll be grand. I’ll start.

    Is she single?

    By any chance she may be attracted to Stargate nerds who spends a ridiculous amount of time on the Internet?

    Does she find “refreshing a blog site dozens of times a day so as to catch the moment a new entry is put up” a sexy quality?

    Oh yes, revenge will be sweet, so, so, so very sweet. And hot.

    Like her.

    Ok, I’ll stop. Thanks for answering my questions! Here are 2 more:

    1. Where in the season does Light fall? I.e. 14th episode, 15th episode, etc. etc.

    2. Where in the season does Darkness fall? I.e. 15th episode, 16th episode, etc. etc.


  13. @ Thornyrose – Alas, I am not like Todd…I don’t do things for ‘spite’. Not that reporting him would be for spite, but to me it would FEEL like spite. Well…I take that back. In the heat of the moment (yesterday!) I might spitefully lash out, but once the anger or hurt subsides (with me it’s usually quick), then…well…then I just can’t.

    However, in this case I feel I must defend myself since he accused me of not caring about my own well-being because I missed an appointment (due to illness), and didn’t get my lab work done (which I’ve always done in the past before my appointments – it’s not like I have a track record of missed lab/office visits). So I will be sending him copies of all my recent blood work, and copies of all my hospital, urgent care, and doctor visits, with a letter stating that if he cannot accept that I was legitimately ill and at times incapacitated, and – out of a concern for my health – was doing everything possible to overcome a deep-seated infection, then he is not suited to be my doctor.

    Or…maybe I’ll just let it drop. 😛


  14. @Das- LOL @ your ‘booger’ comment.

    Joe- Uhm I’ve heard that the Clorox wipes are pretty good at disinfecting things. Just sayin’.

    Also must say am 99% sure that my English Prof is just trying to see how far he can push me before I go nuts. Got back my personal essay today and the first thing he asked was “So have you ever been published?” I was all “uh no” (Yeah and that would explain perfectly why I am in REMEDIAL English *face palm*) the next sentence out of his mouth? “well you should change to an English Major, you’re really good at this.”

  15. You had me scared when I first read the title of your post! I’m really starting to like Ashleigh. And I think we should all encourage her. Instead of bringing back WFPotD you should have videoes of how Ashleigh torments you each day 🙂

  16. “Answer: They certainly do “feel” all those emotions but have matured in a social hierarchy that forces them to suppress them.”

    so are you saying the Wraith are full size their entire lives?

    I just started reading Naomi Novik’s Temeraire series, Book 1 is His Majesty’s Dragon. Have you ever read these? I am about 1/4 into it and it’s very good, can’t wait to read the rest of the series. Maybe a future book of the month? If u make it December, I might be done by then 🙁

  17. Re: Episode titles – awesome if you could work it out for each seasons titles to indicate which season they were from – La Femme Nikita did this, and it makes it easy to figure which season you’re watching!

  18. I love you Joe!

    “It’s interesting to note that those of you who take this view about members of SG-1 appearing in the SGU premiere conveniently forget that both Richard Dean Anderson and Michael Shanks guested in the Atlantis premiere. What’s with that?”

    I love the idea of ‘hand over’ scenes…Star Trek has done it for all of their series’ so why not Stargate…

    Personally I never comment on a show until I have seen it as what is written on the page doesn’t always translate onto the screen…learnt this from all the hype on the new Star Trek series and not wanting to see it because I was an original fan through and through and being very pleasantly surprised when I saw it….and coming to love it!

    Although Atlantis just never gripped me like SG1 it doesn’t mean it is not a good show…I still watch it just not I HAVE to watch it….looking forward to seeing what SGU is like and will then comment on it once I have seen it and only then after a few episodes.

    Hope this makes sense as very early over here so still half a kip…LOL.

    Kriss 🙂

  19. Forget about pitching some TV show — you’ve already got one in production with Ashleigh!!

    [THORNY! Sign me up for membership!]
    [DAS! You almost made me pee myself with the ‘booger’!!]

    So, Joe, I hope that water bottle on the desk isn’t yours… Or that pen near Ashleigh’s head isn’t one of your favourite chewables ones….

  20. The atlantis gate has 9 equal sides, with symbols divided into 9 equal portions, which is why it has 36 symbols instead of 39.

  21. Ashleigh. Is. AWESOME. ‘Nuff said. 😉
    And seriously, we’re all such fans… it couldn’t hurt to have a little Q & A with her. I don’t think it’ll inflate her ego too much. 😉 😀

    I had a food adventure today! I ate out at a Chinese restaurant for the first time (not like your typical Americanized Chinese food, either!). I tried deep fried chicken, Chow Mein, noodles with green stuff mixed in (I forget what they called it), and sweet and sour chicken. I didn’t really like the noodles or the sweet and sour, but the deep fried stuff was good! I even tried to use the chopsticks, but failed pretty miserably! Luckily, the waiter had forks for us hapless Americans!

    Oh and Joe did I ever tell you that I used one of your childcare strategies while I was babysitting the other day? I had them hide and then spent a good 20 minutes “looking” for them! Haha they kept giving me “hints” and I kept opening random doors and pretending not to hear them. It was good fun. 😀

  22. Deni B – I’ve added you to the list for flouncing.

    Anne Teldy – Want us to break you out so you can blow that popsicle stand and join in the Great Cleansing of 2009? If the group gets any bigger we may need T-Shirts made.

    Mackenzie’s Momma – Congrats on the positive feedback! In this world of bitching and negativity, some encouragement can go a long way.

  23. I’ll join the Ashleigh fan club!!! *encourages her*

    Workin’ Hard writes: “Off topic, I was wondering if y’all over at SGU (on the writing staff) use a script formatting software. If so, which one(s)?”

    Answer: Movie Magic Screenwriter.

    Perhaps you should have FAQ/Most Commonly Asked Questions section on your blog. It might reduce the repetitiveness and appease the laziness of your readers in light of having to go back a year or more to see which questions have been

  24. I don’t comment much anymore, but I couldn’t resist saying, “Go Ashleigh!” tonight.

    Anyway, I live in NM, so it’s exciting to know that Stargate is being shot here, even it’s for just an episode!

  25. Give it up Joe. You’ll never out evil Ashleigh. She’s you, if you were a her, and as a her, she’s smarter.

  26. Does Paul have any non-show projects of jis own, like you with your short story?

  27. Ashleigh is my new hero. Perhaps this is payback for April fools day. But maybe you want to invest in some clorox wipes, they come in pretty boxes now and they do a pretty good job at stopping the spread of icky little kid germs (I use them out at girl guide camps).

    I’m really excited about SGU, I’m not sure I can wait until the fall.

  28. If you end up keeping the phone for lab analysis, you should fix that cord. A kinked phone cable is the first step on the road to anarchy.

  29. Hi Joe.
    I’m just popping in after hearing about the loss of Dom DeLuise. Having just had the pleasure in participating in the Q&A with Peter DeLuise it occurred to me that in one of the answers regarding how Dom was doing, Peter had said that he was hanging in there.
    I’m sorry to be bringing this up here in your blog it’s just that I was hoping if you could please pass on our condolences to the DeLuise family.
    Of course this also applies to the friends of the DeLuise family.
    It’s sad news to say the least. And while some of us think that 75 is a good old age, in my line of work, that’s still quite young. I’m glad he had a wonderful life filled with happy memories and that his family now carry those wonderful memories in the hearts.
    Thank you Joe. And again, my apologies for posting this here in your blog. It just seemed to me that seeings how we had just had the Q&A with Peter and Dom was mentioned many times, that maybe…this was ok.
    Take care. ~Chelle

  30. ……”It’s interesting to note that those of you who take this view about members of SG-1 appearing in the SGU premiere conveniently forget that both Richard Dean Anderson and Michael Shanks guested in the Atlantis premiere. What’s with that?”

    I’m glad you are pointing that out to folks Joe. I am actually looking forward to SGU because of Lou and Robert. I really wish folks would give it a chance. There is room for everyone, it’s a big galaxy.

    P.S I doubt you could but could you let Robert know that shipping of ‘Pietro’s Italian Sausage’ from Glasgow can be arranged. He will know what that means.

  31. I just wish I worked with people like you do. Feel free to send Ashleigh (oh heck anyone you don’t want around the office) down my way. They will get to watch TV all day long!

    Keep up the great work.

  32. I have shared Ashleigh’s ongoing attempts to infect you with H1N1 with some of the staff in the CDC Emergency Operations Center.

    They wanted me to thank you (but mostly her) for the laughs.

    It should be noted, however, that CDC employees coming back from Mexico are required to work from home for seven days.

    Contingency planning, Joe. Contingency planning.


  33. Gotta love Ashleigh licking the phone!! Hopefully enough for you, she won’t lick you next, lol.

    I’m not much into the “know your dog” stuff, but since my bro is quite the bugger with the issue, I thought I might ask a veteran dog owner like you some questions, to check how much truth is in some of his statements.

    First, he says that if we feed our dog chocolate (I love pure black chocolate, by the way… liked it even more since my trip to Belgium), he’ll become blind.
    Or that if you wash the dog too often, he’ll stink like crap even more.
    Or that if you feed him sugar he’ll feel like a diabetic and die slowly.
    Or that no mosquito should ever bite the dog (therefore, we should be careful about leaving doors/windows open), because the mosquito might give the dog something called leishmaniasis, making me wonder how come I’m not dead after so many mosquitoes have bitten me in my whole life.

    He puts so much enphasis on these points, because he says he reads a lot of online articles and forums… and so he bans us from making any statements about dogs, claiming that reading so much stuff in the internet, he’s an expert who we can’t fight with because we’re wrong whatever we say that contradicts what he says/does.
    Then he has the dog crying since he’s so eager to come out because he wants to pee, or when he’s waiting for my bro to feed him, and when he sees that my bro ignores him, he goes and sits next to my father so that he feeds him, or makes my brother do so. All that, but he’ll say that’s not wrong, nor it’s bad for the dog to have to wait so much.


  34. Go Ashleigh!

    Will the Fan Club have t-shirts?

    Oohh…..maybe Ashleigh should Twitter….from your office!

  35. She must really like you, feeling comfortable enough to walk about your office when you’re not there, touching your things and spreading her germs love.


  36. ROFLMAO!!!! Ashliegh Rocks!!!! Poor Joe. : )

    I wish my work place was this fun.

  37. Hey Joe,

    First of all, your blog is awesome. Reading it is like reading… well, your blog, obviously. Oh and like flowers in the spring, if that’s any less odd. It’s always good for a smile or giggle.

    Anyway. An important question came up on the WooHoodStock (A.K.A. PTB fangurl) thread on GW… Is there any way we could get you to re-do certain extra’s on DVD? Have Martin Wood do the Asgard walk in Shorts? Have you announce Stargate bloopers while eating something sketchy like… chocolate covered broccoli?

    This might seem like an insane request, but it would really serve our PTB art and fan video’s. *nods* *blinks*
    …Yeah… Don’t worry I’ll leave now. 😛 😉

  38. Jedi Master appears to be letting the “hate flow through him”. Time to meditate, young Jedi.

    Ashleigh IS awesome. Time for a guest blog. Nice call Das! You beat me to it. =)

  39. Check out the latest Jace Hall Show webisode which has appearances by the cast of Sanctuary (including Amanda Tapping), Chuck, and of course, Joe Flanigan! Funny stuff!
    Click on one of the links to the right (hulu or crackle work)

  40. I stand by my opinion that Ashleigh is really Baron Destructo’s evil minion sent to pave the way for his total world domination.

    I so loooooooooooove Ashleigh … 😀

  41. You’re getting Lawren to print off new copies of scripts etc? Who was snapping those photos of your arch-nemesis? Ah yes, you’d better figure out who you can trust in the office. Seems like people have already forgotten about the chocolate party.

    At first I thought Ashleigh’s revenge attempts were a little weak, but she’s warming up now and I like it.

    I think she needs a new name though. Ashleigh seems too sweet. That’s not an arch-nemesis name.

    Joe – Questions

    1. What do you think Ashleigh’s new name should be?

    2. What is her super power?

    3. What is her weakness?

    4. Have you already hatched a plan to bring her down? No need for details, I sense she is spying on you.

    Cheers, Chev

  42. Hey Joe…do you think we’ll ever learn in a future SG-1 movie why Mitchell needs to remember to ‘cut the green one’ ? 🙂

  43. Ashleigh is a goddess. Okay, a minor deity, to be worshipped on alternate Thursdays when the moon is full, but a goddess nonetheless.

    We’re going to San Diego, and one of the plans was to visit with our sailor buddy BoyToy (not his real name). He’s stationed on the one Navy ship that has verified cases of swine flu. We don’t know if they’ve quarantined the ship or not, he’s not answered his phone for a few days. We are concerned, but not worried. Anyway, is there anything I can pick up for anyone while we’re there?

    That’s not a royal “we”, that would be me, MyLarry, Genius and Borderline. Not our real names. Except MyLarry, kinda sorta.

  44. I am really loving this Ashleigh person, she’s hillarious!

    Look on the bright side, if you get the pig flu now at least you will get the milder version before it mutates and becomes more resistant to our antibodies.

    Worm saving seems to be “in” this week. I saved one from my nephew and niece (2 year old twins). Picked it out of their hands, washed it in the pond and then buried it in the dirt….soil. (I call soil dirt just to watch people freak out about it).

  45. @ Major D. Davis–
    West Wing was great! (Well, after Aaron Sorkin left it became less great, but… the first four seasons were incredible!) Joe, take the Major’s advice… WATCH IT!

  46. When you co-write a script with Paul does that mean you have to give him half your money or does he work for food?

    Also, if Ashleigh has been spending all that time in your office she obviously really misses you when you are not there. I think you should give her a great big hug.

  47. Go Ashleigh,It’s your birthday!!! I think Ashleigh needs a raise. That was great. Joe you need to stay alert, she’s quick and good.

  48. A couple of questions:
    Is Ashleigh married?
    If the answer is no then:
    Would she like to be? 🙂

  49. dasndanger: Cringe, on booger comment.

    What is the incubation on swine flu?

    Ashleigh seems to have a good sense of humor.

    Mr Mallozzi: How are your dogs doing now?


  50. Joe, the comic idea sounds really exciting! Very best wishes on the pitch! 🙂 If it’s anything remotely like the work you and Paul have done on Stargate, it’ll be fantastic. Please keep us apprised, I’d love to see what you guys have come up with!

    The photos of Ashleigh and your commentary below them were hilarious! You have some fun co-workers! Thanks for starting my day out with a laugh!

  51. @Narelle: I’ll get the t-shirts done 🙂

    @Das: I know you don’t want to deal with the doctor thing for fear of retribution, but hell girl, if you’re not part of the solution… People like this guy need a reality check! Report him! Nobody has the right to treat you like that, period. Every time I turn around, there’s something on tv or the internet saying that you should be informed and involved in your treatment, to ask questions, etc. Nothing wrong with that. In my opinion, your questioning him only shows that you are concerned about your health/body. Send the bastard a copy of the Hypocratic Oath, at least. Either that or we’ll talk Joe into sending Todd over to the guy’s office for lunch. Hope you’re feeling better now.

    Hi Joe, really, put Ashleigh in an episode of Universe, the girl is too cute 🙂

  52. I’m glad Ashleigh has a sense of humour, or vengeance at least!!! Hope the decontamination unit does a good job for you, or else you’ll be forced to wear HazMat suits at work all the time!

    I second the Q&A with Ashleigh… and maybe doing her own blog… and how about a walk on role on one of the movies – preferably with one of your pups!! *bg*

    You’ve got to at least name a character after her, surely!!


  53. About the Atlantis gate’s 36 symbols… each glyph spins around and gets locked into each successive chevron, right? Rather than the glyph ring spinning. So the ‘screens’ on Atlantis’s unmoving glyph ring have to match up position-wise with where the chevrons are, otherwise it would all be very weird. For the screens to match up, there need to be 9*n screens because of the nine chevrons, so they could have nine glyphs, or eighteen glyphs, twenty-seven, thirty-six, forty-five… and they went with thirty-six. Hope this helps!

  54. A couple of questions, if you don’t mind. According to IMDB, you’re listed as a consulting producer. What are the differences between , executive, consulting and just plain old producer? Regarding the comic book, to whom are you pitching it to? And on a final note, I think its time for Ashleigh to get her own spinoff blog.

  55. What surprises me most is that neat-as-a-pin Mallozzi has such a messy desk!

    @ susiekew – Maybe Ashleigh is Baroness Destructa?? Or Princess Booger, just to creep Tammy out. 🙂

    @ scary – I like how you said ‘poor Joe’ with a smiley face instead of a sad face. 😀

    @ Deni – Thing is, I know I’m not an ‘easy’ patient because I question everything (will it hurt? do i really need it? will it kill me? aren’t there other options? what if it doesn’t work? what about this thing I saw on tv? ).

    And then there’s the blow-up ‘sharks’ I make with the rubber gloves. 😀

    So, I’m sure if I complain, he’ll have a bazillion reasons why it was my fault and not his. I’ll probably just let it drop. Besides, Dr. Sigmund Mallozzi’s blog has helped me more than anything, which just goes to show that the only sense I have is nonsense. 😛


  56. That comic sounds like a great idea! It’s great watching comics grow and develop over the years to match the demand from the fans and distance themselves from the stigma they had for too many years. I feel the whole art industry is becoming more embraced. I went to a 4 day workshop in Dallas, Texas back in March for Concept Artists, from everything fine artists to 3d modelers to illustrators for book covers to movie special effects. It encompassed the whole entertainment industry. It was great! I got to meet Marko Djurdjevic who has been doing a lot of great comic covers for Marvel Comics. It was great to see the whole spectrum of talent for the entertainment industry.

    I am looking forward to hearing more about your comic. One thing that would be very cool and look great in your bookcases with your other statues and busts would be getting your own resin statues made from characters from your comic. That is becoming a more affordable option.

  57. ROFL!! XD That whole Ashleigh thing is just too, too funny! Glad she’s such a good sport!

    When you get the comic published (as I;m sure you will, one way or another), I hope you’ll consider doing another interview with Tart to promote it. 🙂 Meanwhile, good luck! 😀

  58. Hi, Joe
    Did you try to use other software for script writing before? Like Final Draft?

  59. @ Das Maybe Ashleigh is Baroness Destructa?? Or Princess Booger, just to creep Tammy out.

    You might be right Das. Or maybe Ashleigh has graduated from “evil minion” and is able to stand on her own, diabolical, two feet. Assuming, of course that humanoid is her real form, and not something with six feet (or none 8-o)

    And Princess Booger just sounds so, so … colorful …

  60. Gosh darn it, the “germs” bit was supposed to have a line through it, silly code.

  61. never thought about it before, but would the SGC have to be relocated to Atlantis, since the Atlantis gate would precede Earth’s?

    also, when they recalibrated Atlantis’ gate before sending a team aboard the Wraith hive, wouldn’t it have linked to the Milky Way system, since they were already in the galaxy?

  62. Hello joe. Here they come.

    1. Will you promise to at least check out the pilot or the first few episodes of west wing? I really think you will love it.

    2. Can you give me all the stuff on your desk that you are going to throw away?

    3. So if you and Paul never write anything together, why are you credited together?

    4. When will fans get to see the new SGU trailer?

    5. Are you still filming life or have you moved onto time yet?

    6. Do you find it supprising that I got the nckname 20 questions at a summer camp?

    Thanks so much,
    Major D. Davis

  63. Hey Joe,

    I am wondering if their is any update on the Children Of The Gods remastered episodes, and if yes any release date for them on dvd/bluray.


  64. Hey Joe,

    Ok… after pigging out at yet another hibachi dinner to celebrate Erin’s 8th birthday 😯 I really didn’t need to laugh that hard.

    *wipes tears from her face*

    And then I read the mailbag. Ugh! You are trying to kill us with laughter, right?

    Well, here’s hoping that you DO get your way! 😀 I’d be so excited to see two word titles for SGU’s season 2.

    And I have a special note to Ashleigh: Jesus may have walked on water but YOU, dear soul MUST swim through land. You RULE! 😀 😆 😀


    P.S. Deni: I think I finally sent you another e-mail. Yay me!

  65. dasNdanger: Yes “Princess Booger” is awful, double cringe.

    Mr. M, this question is from my hubby. He wants to know if Atlantis is settled into the SF Bay, then even if it is invisible, wouldn’t people see this huge depression of displaced water? Or is it hovering? What about the rooms that were under water before?

    Tam (and Jer)

  66. I think Ashleigh is going to be one of those break out admin stars that go on to have their own website and fanclub. Awww, we can all say we were there in the beginning. Dibs on being Treasurer.

  67. I just saw Star Trek.

    It is amazing.

    Naturally, there are things wrong with it, but there are things wrong with everything……. it was fantastic!

  68. Didn’t stop to read the text, but the pictures look deeply disturbing. 😉

  69. Just a quick note, actually NO I haven’t forgot that RDA & Shanks were in Raising.

    I’m not fool, so please kindly don’t patronizes me.

    The point was:

    1) Unless I’ve been reading a lot of incorrect things from Cooper/Wright, was it NOT stated that there will BE NO cross overs and will BE NO contact with earth in SGU, so NOW there’s been a MAJOR U TURN, that was the point I WAS MAKING!!!! off course I’M SURE THAT THIS U TURN had nothing to do with a anti axing SGA backlash, no of course not, the TPTB wouldn’t be that shallow!!!!!!!


    3) AND searching for Atlantis WAS a major plot line for SG1 and for Jackson.


    The issue was nothing to do with RDA/Shanks being in Rising and also being in SGU, it was and is to do with the axing of SGA in favour of SGU and expecting ALL of us to be happy an dandy about it. WELL I FOR ONE AM NOT!!!

    SO, for me, the inclusion of RDA, Tapping and Shanks smacks at desperation, to appeal to the existing fan base and some to the those that are “p‘d off“.

    Now I can only speak for me self and wouldn’t dream of saying ALL SGA fans feel like this, though the many I personally known DO and wont be tuning into to (B)SG U, an a lot of I those I speak to in the fourms also share a similar view.

    I find it quite unbelievable the attitude towards SGA fans who didn’t want the show to end and have no interest in this nice shinny new toy (B)SG U, is so dismissive and YES frankly arrogant.

    But that is TPTB’s right, BUT just remember is fans that make a show, so “p’sing off “a large group NOT SUCH a good idea.

    Oh yes of course Brad Wright has already stated for the record that we are only “a small number” and there’s not enough of us to make for a financial success.

    Well here’s hoping you can pick up enough NEW fans to replace the MANY that you have already lost.

    I personally think this WILL COME BACK AN BITE YOU ALL IN THE BUM!!!!!

  70. ha haha ha” “thanks haven’t had such a good laugh in ages”

    This is now “SO” funny it was annoying to begin with but now its just funny, I really love the way the points are picked up on, you should try being a polictian “ ha ha“.

    1) In the real world WE ALL KNOW THAT SGA WAS AXED IN FAVOUR FOR SGU, you can deny that till the cows come home, I personally don’t care. The facts are as the facts are you don’t need to have the smarts like Mckay to figure that one out !!!!! ” ha ha”

    2) As you well know, NO I have not read the script, but I do love the sarcasm though “ha ha“!!!! An again the whole point of that statement missed and taken out of context, NO really you should try and be a politician. “ ha ha”

    You really really must think I’m idiot but never mind I’ve got broad shoulders I can take it, “ha ha”.

    I don’t know or care for that matter what’s in the pilot “ha ha”. Hell would freeze first before I watched SGU “ ha ha”.

    The point is as its always been, is the fact that SGA WAS axed in favour for SGU.

    With regards to who said what and when, may I respectively request that you an Mr Wright an Mr Cooper, collaborate first, before you make statements because none of you are singing off the same hymn sheet, which in it self is also quite amusing. I think we are going to have to agree to disagree on this one ” ha ha”.

    None of you are even willing to concede the point that the many SGA fans are “p’d off” at the cancellation of SGA and HAVE NO INTEREST WHAT’S SO EVER in SGU. An that we would blindly follow SGU just because its got Stargate in the title is quite insulting but as stated I’ve got broad shoulders “ ha ha“.

    None of you are even willing to accept the fact that TPTB have berated, belittle and been dismissive and down right rude to a lot of SGA fans, no withstanding making VERY ageist remarks, I’m in the “not wanted age group, if you hadn’t already guessed” “ha ha”.

    But that’s just one persons and families point of view, for your sake I hope that’s all it is, coz if not “BOY” is this new shinny little toy in trouble.

    But I guess “WE WILL ALL” have to wait an see for the answer to that question.

    Just a one last quick note before I go make myself a nice cuppa tea, a very warm thank you for helping me clarify my feelings towards TPTB and SGU. An I’m not being sarcastic I mean THANK YOU.

    I already knew how I thought an felt about Cooper/Wright & co, and what they have done to Stargate, these little back & forth exchanges have just confirmed actually HOW BAD things have got.

    So for that THANK YOU, I‘ll sign out now because it’s a basically a pointless exercise. We all now know where we stand, the line in the sand has been drawn, the them & us, so be hun.

    The fight will go on though, to Save Stargate Atlantis despite how TPTB try an put us down.

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