A sneak peek at the upcoming Ori fashion catalogue.  Pillaging chic!  This fall's marauding soldiers show off a flair for the casual.
A sneak peek at the upcoming Ori fashion catalogue. Pillaging chic! This fall's marauding soldiers show off a flair for the casual.



When simply killing someone is not enough...
When simply killing someone is not enough...
Just sit back and relax.  You may fee a slight pinch...
Just sit back and relax. You may fee a slight pinch...
Not sure.  I think it's the front part of a tok'ra g-string.
Not sure. I think it's the front part of a tok'ra g-string.
Awwww, lookit the cute widdle symbiote...
Awwww, lookit the cute widdle symbiote...
THIS is how you deal with would-be burglars.  Zat 'em!
THIS is how you deal with would-be burglars. Zat 'em!
A bag o' bugs - flesh-eating bus, compliments of The Scourge.
A bag o' bugs - flesh-eating bus, compliments of The Scourge.
A visit to the tok'ra dentist.
A visit to the tok'ra dentist.


Hey, gang! It’s time for another round of Guess That Prop! Alas, these items weren’t labeled so you’re guess is as good as mine. No, scratch that. My guesses are better. Still, feel free to weigh in with your thoughts.

Hey, guess who I heard from today? Er, that’s right. Martin Gero. How did you guess? As most of you know, Marty G. now resides in The Big Apple where he works for HBO on its new show: Bored To Death. All is well on his end. His series is going swimmingly and he’s overindulging on New York’s famed restaurant scene. He just got back from a trip to Vegas and promised me a special guest blog restaurant review. Can’t wait. Alas, not all good news. He won’t be able to make this year’s Chocolate Party. He will, however, be able to FedEx me select truffles from some NY chocolatiers who have proven reluctant to ship to Canada in the past. Still, it won’t be the same without him. I’ll have to eat twice as much Vosges Smoked Applewood Bacon milk chocolate truffles in his honor. I filled him in on developments on the SGU front and told him about the latest addition to our little inner circle, Ashleigh the new office assistant. “In spite of the fact that she’s a vegetarian, I like her,”I told him. To which he replied: “Wow! She must really be special!”

Well, I had assumed this whole New York City/working for HBO was just a phase he was going through but it looks like this move is a lot more serious than it first appeared. As a result, I’m looking for a new culinary wingman (or woman). You know, someone with an adventurous palate who’ll feel as comfortable chowing down on a hardy pig head terrine as they would a velvety foie gras torchon. Someone who can handle a seven course menu with ease. Someone who will pass on the light fruit-based dessert in favor of the heavy chocolate creation. AND order a double scoop of ice cream for good measure. Kindly submit your resumes to this blog.

Rob swung by my office today and asked how those kino scenes were coming along. Errr, kino scenes… Coming along… Slowly? To be honest, I’d shifted gears in order to come up with a solid episode idea to fill one of the final two remaining slots I mean, it would be nice to write two scripts this year since I do have the time. After some discussion, however, I agreed to switch gears back to coming up with some kino scenes. I’m on it!



Today’s entry is dedicated to Mackenzie’s Momma.


Yumenoko writes: “Oh snap, you did not just randomly mention Tekkonkinkreet the same day I wore my TK T-shirt (the totally cool one I bought last year in Shibuya) to the gym (which was long before I read this post). And Miike is brilliant and amazing and yet Yatterman is just so wacked, even for him.”

Answer: For me, Miike’s stuff is love it or hate it – and because he’s so prolific, there’s a lot to both love and hate. I despised Ichii the Killer. On the other hand, Fudoh: The New Generation is one of my top ten movies of all time. I’m also a big fan of Audition and Ernest was saying good things about Agitator, his latest.

Kennythewraith writes: “so are any of the free lance writers going to be added as staff writers?”

Answer: Still too early to tell.

Martyn Drake writes: “Ernest Dickerson, former cinematographer and award winning director?”

Answer: One and the same. I’ve particularly enjoyed his wore on The Wire.

Karen writes: “Are fan mail still accepted for the SGA cast? Joe Flanigan for example, does his fan mail go to him?”

Answer: Yep. As far as I know, fan mail continues to be redirected to the appropriate actors.

Jay Lewis writes: “However, I can see why people wouldn’t like tAR14…there aren’t any villains to root against.”

Answer: I thought their yielding of their fellow contestants a few weeks back pretty – um – is “jerky” a word?

Gen writes: “Hey, kind of on the subject, I wanted to ask: how much does everyone DVR their favorites?”

Answer: There’s not a favorite I don’t DVR.

Quade1 writes: “isn’t reality television considered blasphemy to writers?”

Answer: Uh, yes, it is. Please disregard yesterday’s blog entry.

Justin writes: “I know you’re an expert on Vancouver dining, any suggestions for vegan dining in Vancouver?”

Answer: Hmmmm. There’s a place called The Naan that’s fairly popular. I’ll have to ask Ashleigh. Just this morning, she mentioned some restaurant that makes a delicious lentil whatsis.

Major D. Davis writes: “1. I might come visit Canada sometime soon, would it be too much to drop by Bridge Studios and finally meet you in person?

2. Are you done with filming Air yet?

3. I had a dream that you were mad at me for asking the budget of the Universe episodes and the Atlantis movie. Is that true?

4. I want to make a career in the film industry, hopefully acting or writing. Any tips on how to get started?”

Answers: 1. Alas, yes. The production is very strict about on-lot visits, especially in SGU’s first season.

2. Moving on to Fire.

3. Is it true you had the dream? I take you at your word so, yes.

4. If you want to be an actor – write. A lot! If you want to act, I’d suggest taking a few acting courses.

Trish writes: “Joe, my mom watches the Amazing Race. She says she agrees with you. I don’t watch it so I don’t know. But hey, you ever want a partner for being on that show I’d be happy to try it!”

Answer: Done! You do the bungee jumps and fire walk, and I’ll eat the five pounds of beef.

Michelle writes: “ Hey Joe, have you heard about the “miracle fruit” that makes sour stuff taste sweet? It would open up a whole new world of weird food possibilities.”

Answer: I’m a fan –


LowRiders95s10 writes: “Can you give us an update on some of other SGA crew? Like what their position is on SGU or if they have moved on what they are up to lately? I am interested in Will Waring, Lawren, Bam Bam, Evil Kenny, Mark Savela, James Robbins, and John Lenic”

Answer: All are on board for SGU.

Michelle writes: “1) Apparently, Stargate SG-1 The Ark of Truth was created to wrap up loose ends in season ten. What about loose ends in seasons 1-9? No one thought to chase them up, now I’m left cold.
2)An example of the above: What happened to Aris Boch? Did Sam ever find a cure for the drug he was on?
3)In the episode where SG-1 find that mirror to other realities, when SG-1 are looking for Daniel, who’s the other man in the shot?
4) Did the Tollan die out? The obvious answer would be yes, but it’s only sort of implied.
5) Will Shifu ever come back? Again, the answer is only an implied yes, but he never came back. Perhaps he can come back to help SG-1 fight Adria? I have a story idea for that, but it’s too detailed to go into here.
6) Will Jack and Sam ever get married? Yet again, the implied answer is yes (we assume that’s why she grew her hair out).
7) Stargate Atlantis hasn’t been airing long enough for it to finish now- again, I have several story ideas. Won’t you consider keeping the series running?”

Answers: 1) After 10 seasons on the air, a show is bound to leave a few questions unanswered.  2) Like this one.  Aris Boch is still out there somewhere – uncured.  3) Don’t recall.  4) Yep, they were wiped out.  5) No plans to have Shifu return.  6) That remains to be seen.  7) Sorry.  Not my call.

43 thoughts on “March 25, 2009: A Trip Down WTF?!! Lane

  1. If you want to be an actor – write. A lot!
    Really? I want to be a writer, actually. What should I do? 😉

    Hey, guess who I heard from today?
    Oooh, I know, I know! Martin Gero!!!
    I guessed because he told me and 412 other people. About 3 hours ago. On his Twitter. See? Twitter can be useful!

    That symbiote is positively creepy! And the rest of those look deadly! More e-bay stuff, I’m assuming?

  2. Great to hear Mr. G. is doing well. Showed YPF to some of the coworkers, and it went over a bit better than I thought. Certain scenes were replayed for the benefit of people not in the room at the time, which is definitely a good sign. And I’ve advised them where they might obtain their own copies…
    I’d love to submit a resume to serve as “wingwoman”, but alas, honesty forces me to conceed my unqualified nature. So long as it’s something that comes from an animal, I am confident of my ability to at least sample it. But my aversion to matter grown in dirt or manure renders the bulk of most meals anethema to me. And though I’m working on improving my palate, it’s my father, not myself, who has the tongue for discriminating on what herbs and spices, and their proportions, were used in recipes. Besides, there’s the issue of having to pick up your tab in exchange for the honor of being your culinary sidekick. I’m just too cheap for that. Well, that, and the ticket costs for the transcontinental flights needed to haunt the Vancouver eateries. You are simply going to have to recruit another (non-vegitarian) writer for the show to pick up in Mr. Gero’s footsteps.
    Nice pics, but I’m too tired to drudge up the episodes and what the items are. Besides, there are bigger SG-1 fans in here who would humiliate me if I did try. Now, when you get around to the Atlantis props, it will be fun to see how I can do. Meantime, thanks for the nightly dose of news and entertainment.

  3. Michelle’s sixth question from the mailbag confused me. Or, rather, the assumptions did. Why does Sam’s long hair mean she got married? Can’t short-haired people get married as well? This seems like a logic leap to me.

    On another point: Why are space looking things always purple and/or sparkly?

  4. Michelle writes: “6) Will Jack and Sam ever get married? Yet again, the implied answer is yes (we assume that’s why she grew her hair out).

    Answers: 6) That remains to be seen.

    uh… i’m trying not to read too much into this, but…


  5. Will Jack and Sam ever get married? Yet again, the implied answer is yes (we assume that’s why she grew her hair out).

    Of all the amazing assumptions shippers have ever made, this is now in my personal top 10 for sheer wtf-ness. Of course a woman would never grow her hair except to look her best on her wedding day to her Sir! (By the way, that was a different Michelle. :))

    Thanks for the reminder on the miracle fruit. Somehow in 2+ years of blog entry I’d forgotten those few sentences. Heh.

  6. This is a refreshing end to an otherwise crappy day.

    Gero twittered it before you blogged it. What a thief.


  7. @ ytimynona: Unfortunately, I think writers have to read a lot AND write a lot. And it has to not stink on occasion. Actors don’t have to write well, they just have to make the effort.

    Unfortunately my mad dining skills are only north by northwest. Watch out for low flying aircrafts and all that jazz.

  8. Like @ytimynona I knew who you’d heard from via twitter. You should give him a talking to about playing on the computer while talking to you on the phone. 😉

  9. Joe, on behalf of my “Sister” readers here… If You or any of the “Guys” here were to experience “the slight pinch”, you’d probably pass out!

    …or end up in Gero’s next movie…

  10. You know what would REALLY be dangerous in the Stargate universe? A rusty knife. You’d have to ask yourself (or the attacker asks you) – have you had a tetanus shot recently?

  11. P.S. – that symbiote is best served the traditional English way, alongside pie and mash. It’s juices can be used to make liquor (the herby sauce) that compliments the meal. Yum!

    As for the flesh eating beetles (mmm .. cannibal band from Liverpool perhaps?) – cook them with a nice chocolate sauce and you’ll have handy snack to take with you whilst killing bad guys.

  12. That last picture is obviously Tokr’a beauty therapy/sex toys possibly interchangeable definitely made by Mattel. Now I really have to get my ass in gear and be out the door in 5.


  13. “THIS is how you deal with would-be burglars. Zat ’em!”


    3 times should do the trick. 😉

    Ok, not much time today, so I’ll skip right to the questions:

    1. Who is David Greathouse?

    2. A thread from GW inspired this: how much continuity are we going to get from the wear and tear of stuff in SGU?

    I.e. a ripped shirt will stay ripped in the next episode (since they presumably have no replacement shirts); or a huge gash on their arm will leave a scar the next episode/still be there in some form; or a huge hull breach on the ship will still be there next week, etc. etc.

  14. Wanted to comment on the SGU trailer… Gotta say, I’m impressed. You guys seem to have managed to get catch a whole different style than SGA or SG1. Now to hope you can hold this level and add some more continuity in the episodes, which was kinda lacking lately (like, in SGA season 5 midseason ep… the control-room blew up, and two episodes later everything is fine and noone mentions it again? :P)

    Couple of questions:

    – Are all SGU episode slots filled now?

    – Are there any more cliff-hanger episodes in the season, other than premiere/midseason/finale?

    – In SGA’s ‘The Return’, dr. Lee mentions he has a lvl 75 mage on World of Warcraft, which wasn’t possible at the time. Was this intentional, or have none of you ever played WoW?

    – Any plans to bring in The Trust again, in either SGU or one of the movies?

  15. Hi Joe,

    I was hoping you might have an update for us from Brad on how the 3rd SG-1 movie script is coming along. Any news at all would be a lovely birthday present for me today!



  16. Thanks for the pics. The 4th one is a goa’uld extractor and 5th one is the backside of the hand device with the glowing ball that pushes people into walls.

    Sam and Jack should not get married, it takes all the mystery out of the romance. Although it wouldn’t be bad to see more of the romance on the screen, not just the illusion of it (like the kiss in the episode where they went back in time to Egypt).

    Just for fun, what does a quadrapalegic who has just had surgery and is flat on his back, say to his sister on her birthday when she comes to visit?

    Answer – “If I had known you were coming, I would have baked you a cake.”

    This is a true story, it happened yesterday. Makes you think.

  17. Hi Joe,

    I have to say I like the tauri dentist better. Oh and i think i frased my question wrong. Let me try it again.

    Is it true that in real life you are mad at me for asking the budget of the Universe episodes and the Atlantis movie or is that situation just in the dream(and i did have a dream, i’m not joking)?

    Thanks so much
    Major D. Davis

  18. I have a tip for your chocolate party, seeing as Marty’s willing to send you stuff from the Big Apple. You should get something from Max Brenner (www.maxbrenner.com). I’ve recently discovered Max Brenner in Melbourne and… well… let’s say I only rarely use random wordless noises to indicate how much I like something. Though I don’t know if the delivered goods are as fantastic as the freshly made choccies, but I’m guessing it’ll be worth a try.

  19. Joe,

    If you ever find yourself in the Philadelphia area, I’ve got your wingman right here. I’ll try anything once. More if I like it!

  20. Is all that stuff going up for auction? I’d like another shot at getting a zat. Or more fake bugs. I really like that purple Tok’ra stuff. I don’t think my pets would appreciate a symbiote playtoy.

    Jenny R.: Why does Sam’s long hair mean she got married?
    The first thing that popped into my mind was the married-to- Jack-alt-universe Sam, she had long hair. But no, I don’t think it’s become a prerequisite. I always assumed Sam kept her hair short for practical (military) reasons.

    Michelle writes: What happened to Aris Boch? Did Sam ever find a cure for the drug he was on?
    Aris Boch’s story was continued in Fandemonium’s SG-1 book Siren Song. I really liked the character because of Sam Jones’ portrayal, so it was worth the read to me.

    I’m going to be taking a look at the new series Kings, mostly because of Ian McShane of one my all time fave actors. Monarchies- and yes I get the butterfly pun haha- have always been a source of fascination to me. I just wonder how this show would play in Saudi Arabia.

  21. I bet if you really wanted, you could get on the amazing race. If only by what they cast, they seem to go for cheerleaders/people involved in television/token old people/average everyday people/anyone who could potentially make good viewing.

  22. Good to hear Marty G is doing so well, but good luck with finding a new culinary wing-er-person. I’m sure you’ll have countless offers though, and will no doubt find the perfect person for the role.

    Well, seeing as you answered one question about crew for SGU, I have one I asked a while ago and I’m still not sure on: Will Jim Menard be around for SGU?



  23. *Everyone* gets pissy over The Yield and I honestly don’t understand why.

    It’s part of the game and, to quote Coach Herm Edwards, “You play to win the game.”

    It isn’t underhanded like giving another team wrong directions, bad info or asking travel agents to not book ‘the other teams.’

  24. 1. Carl & Paul? in Ori Helmets (Season 9/10)
    2. Goa’uld Torture Knife (???)
    3. Tretonin Extractor? (Cure)
    4. Looks like it’s upside down
    5. Goa’uld Symbiote (many episodes)
    6. Zat’nik’atel (countless epsisodes)
    7. R-75 Bug (Scourge)
    8. Zatarc Detector Accessories (Allegiance)

    Hmmm, I wonder if they are just asking us because they don’t want to look through the hundreds of hours of tape to find out what it is? Although it is enjoyable, lets have some more!

  25. @Jay Lewis- WOAH! My father’s name is Jay Lewis, so I did a double take. I’m fairly certain you arn’t him though.

    Anyway, Joe I’m afraid I am definitely not your woman, first of there is the obvious geographical issue, second, I’m the pickiest eater on the planet (Or Galaxy if you prefer). I don’t even eat sandwiches normally, I take everything apart and eat it separately.

  26. Coucou Joseph vous allez bien? Moi oui, merci pour les photos, sa doit être génial d’avoir tout ces objets myhiques de stargate!

    Alalala Martin est génial, il me manque sa fait du bien d’avoir des nouvelles de lui.

    Ahhhhhh moi aussi!! Si un jour je viens à Vancouver je veux absolument vous voir !!!

    Bon j’ai un devoir de géographie pour demain alors bisou, bonne journée!

  27. Dear Joe,

    Hope all is well with you and the family.

    1. I was wondering if you know of any place in montreal that sells some a high quality chocalates for a gift for my aunt’s new baby; that is apart from suite 88 on St. Denis?

    2. Also sir, is the destiny presently in the Milky way at the beginning of the series or is it located on another galaxy?

    thanks sir

    @ Das: Sorry was very busy these days, post your email so I can send you my family’s Moroccan recepies. Thanks for your patience

  28. Ever done Script Frenzy?


    Foodie Qualifications:
    pigeon brain dipped in cinnamon salt
    sea cucumber with no salt
    Things that still have…
    Various bean-based dessert drinks
    Head cheese sandwiches
    Sonic Ice

    Alas, my current objectives include spending <$2/meal so, since I’ve developed an allergy to pokeweed, I’ll have to withdraw my name from the running.

  29. Awesome Guess the Prop!

    1-3. Ori Soldier’s Helmets (Season 9-10 + Ark of Truth)

    4. Daggar – Stronghold S09E14

    5. Tretonin Extractor – Stronghold S09E14

    6. Brainwashing Device (without the green indicator lights!) – Stronghold S09E14

    7. Goa’uld Symbiote – 1st appeared in Children of the Gods

    8. Zat’Ni’Katel (Zat gun) – 1st appeared in Within the Serpent’s Grasp S01E21

    9. Bug R75 – The Scourge S09E17

    10. Tok’ra surgical equipment to extract a Goa’uld (taking Ba’al out of Adria) – Dominion S10E19

    Wait a second …. isn’t that a label hanging off the Zat gun #13…!

    Take it easy

  30. How many times must I say this? Bacon and milk chocolate are a terrible combination. The chocolate must be dark, dark dark! I’d make some chocolate-covered bacon for you, but it is a treat best served fresh.

    Actually, I do make wonderful truffles when I’m in the mood. And fudge when the weather is right. I may even be inclined to share.

    So, you need a culinary wingman with a high metabolism? Try my hubby, he was once in the hospital, the nutritionist decided he was underweight. After 48 days of consuming 9,000 calories day without exercise, he didn’t gain an once. Heck, he’s driving truck now and eats at truckstop buffets, and doesn’t gain an ounce. He is however, allergic to liver and nightshades.

    Yep, twitter.

  31. Re: Miike
    Dead or Alive. Best. Ending. Ever.

    Re: Choco party
    Have you had Royce nama choco at the party yet? I assume you grab it every single time you’re in Japan (like I do). If nothing else, you can have friends in Japan ship you some? My fave is hands down the bitter chocolate with Hennessy. It is too, too heavenly.

  32. Hi Mr Mallozzi
    The French Stargate fan is back a second time for a important question. Air, Water, Fire, Earth, Life, Space, Justice, Time… Is there something missing? What about Food??

  33. @ Belouchi – I’d rather not give my e-mail out publically. Do you post at Gateworld? If so, you could drop me a PM and I could give it to you there!

    @ GateFanSamJack – My father-in-law made poke salad…ONCE. He thought he picked the poke young enough, but I don’t think he boiled it three times (necessary to remove the toxins). Fortunately, he was the only one who ate it, and let’s just say that improperly prepared poke has a … purgative…effect. 😛 He was in misery for two days, poor guy…

    Teaches him for listening to Euell Gibbons. 🙂


  34. RE: Loose ends from SG1 story lines

    One thing I would like to know is if O’Neil will eventually discover that he indeed has a child out there from his relationship with Lara on Edora from the episode, A Hundred Days. Might be nice to see him meet a son someday. Lots of possibilities for fun there.

  35. Danny writes: “Have you read Jay Lake’s Mainspring yet?”

    Answer: I haven’t. Good?

    I highly recommend it. It takes the what if concept and skews around on its axis. A world literally built on gears that reflects in nearly every aspect of it, mix in the turn of the 20th century, some Edgar Rice Burroughs, and, well I really don’t want to give anything away on this, but it’s one of my best reads for last year.

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