Some of you are experiencing some trouble trying to reach me at my yahoo address. The fault could either lie with you (the more likely scenario) or with my overly zealous spam filter. In case it’s the latter, could you please pick out your email message from the ensuing list of missives I rescued from my trash bin:

– DIRECTV PROMOTION : “Save $663, Free Movie Channels & HD-DVR Upgrade”

– PEDI PAWS: “The incredible pet nail trimmer“


– Dr. Wayne Tony: “UK National Irish Lottery“

– Carl Binder: “Urgent request for a liver donor match! Get back to me ASAP!!!”

– Samuel Ouedraogo: “Please help me am contacting you from my sick bed”


– WalkFit: “As Seen on TV: Own the #1 Orthotic Insoles in the World”

– United Nations Awards: “United Nations Humanitarian Awards (You are a winner!)

– Tabby: “Webcam on…clothes off…who’s with me?”

I hesitate to include the last email because I have a sneaking suspicion that one is from Carl. But, in any case, if you recognize your email handle and message, please point it out so that I can give it the serious attention it deserves.

Hey, I came across some pics from the last days of production. Check ‘em out.

Some Acacia discussion:

Terry writes: “I’m surprised that you didn’t find the amount of detail provided that make this possible either distracting or offputting. What is it that Durham does with the detail that doesn’t stop the story cold for you?”

Answer: To be honest, I don’t enjoyed overly-flourished writing and I wouldn‘t put Acacia in that camp. Durham offers a lot of interesting backstory details on the empire and, in my view, that’s a long way from overwhelming the reader with ponderous descriptions of the surrounding countryside.

Terry also writes: “Do you think that some fantasy writers give short shrift to empire building because they’re more interested in the characters than in the politics and nation building? What other fantasy writers do you think do a good job with creating unique worlds?””

Answer: I think many fantasy writers give short shrift to world building for a variety of reasons. A couple of fantasy writers I think do a pretty good job of creating unique worlds are Ursula K. LeGuin and K.J. Bishop.

Drldeboer writes: “ It was a pretty interesting read in terms of writing style, action and descriptions, especially the seafaring parts, too many unanswered questions at the end so maybe I’ll give this series another shot after I’m over my political nausea.”

Answer: Too many unanswered questions? Really? One of the things that greatly impressed me about this book was the fact that it did such a nice job of tying up all of the major loose ends rather than leaving them dangling for the next book in the series.

54 thoughts on “November 5, 2008: Your Emails in My Spam Folder

  1. Hey Joe,

    I refused to take on a project at the end of last year as it would have opened up my company to too much risk. The man in charge at the company that wanted us to take it on sent a lovely email full of abuse about me and the decision I made and it got caught by my SPAM filter and landed in the Junk folder. It felt rather poetic.

    Sorry to hear about the non-pickup from LA. I’d be really interested to see a movie you put together, despite it being horror. Your humour has always been part of what I like about Stargate.

    Last Saturday night Hubby and I were watching late night TV. Half way through the movie Eraser I said to him, “It’s not how bad this movie is that has me amazed, it’s that someone had to pitch it with a serious face and then someone actually agreed to make it!”.

    Well Joe. I’ve done it. My company had an offer from a larger organisation and we’ve decided to sell. I’m off to be a pleb for a while! I’ll be their BDM but it will be strange suddenly not having to be responsible for the complete running of an organisation. Maybe I’ll start to sleep again. One step closer to having our beach shack in a tropical location selling coconut juice or Durian fruit or novelty salt and pepper shakers with our two little furry kids. **sigh**

    Decided to start a Michael Crichton today after hearing the news of his passing.

    Have a good night.

  2. PS: I checked my Junk folder for your email requesting I come and write for SGU … Ahahaha-ahahahaha-ahahahahaha-sorry.
    Wow, would that be a decision someone would regret.

  3. Hi Joe:

    Just so that you know, Bam Bam said that no Wraith he is aware of, especially himself, ever wore a thong. You may have a problem between your departments. I think the thong wars need immediate attention from management.

    Why is it that often your blog says, “no comments”, when there clearly are comments? You just haven’t answered the comments yet.

    I am guessing that writers don’t have to give two weeks notice to their current employers to come and work on Star Gate. That would be why you don’t need to have contracts signed until very close to the date the writer actually has to begin work. But then, except for people like you, it’s not really a nine to five job for a new writer. Is this correct?

    Patricia (AG)

  4. LOL… Joe,

    How come I don’t get those types of spam emails? I must be doing something wrong!
    Very funny, especially the last one, whom you suspect is from Carl.

    Thanks for the great pictures from the last episode time frame. Hey, those T-Shirts look so cool. How does a lowly fan get one? And I must say that the art work on the shirt looks like the Atlantis Station is flying through a worm hole! Is it?

    Thanks for all you do! BTW what happened to:
    1. The pictures of the pups dressed up for Halloween?
    2. Brad Wright’s Answers our questions?
    Will we get to see these sometime soon?

    Patricia Lee

  5. Ohhhh, nothing like some Kavan Smith pics to bring a smile to my face. And from there the guffaws at your spam mail. Though isn’t it just as likely to be Alan McCullough or Mr. Gero sending you the Tabby email? I rather you hadn’t gone there though. I’ll be fighting those mental images off, and here just at bedtime.
    Here’s irony for you. All the talk of world building and Acacia, and I only discovered this evening the map at the front of the book. It makes for some interesting comparisons how I had laid out the various nations and geographical locations based on the writing.
    Just a couple of questions for Mr. Durham, if you’re still collecting them. First, when first writing Acacia, did you start with an outline of what you wanted to happen(such as Aliver’s fate), or did you begin writing and allowed the story to carry you on? How did you go about developing your “laws of magic”, and why did you elect to associate the power of magic with speech? I found that one of the more intriguing aspects of the book. In the book, we actually don’t see much of the fighting styles and methods of the armies of Acacia or the Mein. Will the later books delve more into the military differences between the various opposing groups and nations? Thank you for agreeing to appear in Mr. Mallozzi’s blog, and I look forward to the sequels of Acacia.

  6. It looks like your superior spam filter is working as intended based on those subject headings. But I dunno. You may want to investigate the Irish lottery winnings further. Their currency has got to be worth more than – oh, never mind. And pedi paws! Come on now, you KNOW that had to be sent by a friend concerned that your pugsies nails are kept well trimmed . . .

    I sent you an e-mail as well but don’t know if you got it. A few of the words in the subject heading were ‘writers and scripts’.

  7. Sadly, back from Vancouver and I’m already missing the beautiful fall colors and wonderful rainy and cool weather.

    I’m just getting caught up on your blog, and I was wondering about your trip to LA. With so many writers submitting completed spec scripts to production companies, does it make it tougher to get a project going when you’re pitching a concept or outline?

    Also, the pug pics are adorable. Have you thought about creating a yearly calendar? I think they have their own fan base now.

  8. Yes, it’s annoying me again.

    Food for thought …

    Each morning on the radio station I listen to, they bring to the attention of their listeners some of the more obscure spelling of common names that is around these days. They have a game every morning of trying to guess the spelling of the latest names listed in the Birth notices. Most often it’s the silent “h” now in names that they get caught up on.

    However, this morning was the ultimate.

    Phonetically, the name is Ledasha.
    Ross Stevenson, who is one of the hosts and a retired lawyer, had to try and guess how it had been spelt. After many attempts trying to incorporate as many obscure silent letters as possible he gave up.

    The way the name has been spelt on her birth certificate; Le-a.

    They did comment, “Her name might be Lehyphena?”

  9. Hey Joe,

    Just wanted to say buy before I head out to my last Stargate con run by Creation in NJ.

    See you when I get back next week.


  10. Hi Joe!

    Thanks for the sweeeeet pics! They make my crappy mood a craptastic mood!

    Ahhh…the power of Joe. 🙂

    I sent the “- Dr. Wayne Tony: “UK National Irish Lottery“” one to you. Well, actually, I was sending it to Dr. Wayne Tony cuz he won the UK National Irish Lottery and I need his mailing address to send him the five pounds he won, postage due. When I was typing “Dr. Wayne Tony” into the To: field, I must’ve accidentally wrote “Joe ‘The Spamminator’ Mallozzi” instead.

    My bad.

    Bummer about the horror film. Here’s to hoping some rich dead Nigerian wants to leave you all of his money!


  11. Ooooh pictures yay!!!
    I’m with Patricia Lee… where can we get one of those shirts? They pretty much rock and now have me wondering what exactly is going to happen in Enemy at the Gate 🙂

  12. Hey Joe!

    I think some spammer decided to go into the horror film industry!

    I just received a spam e-mail with the subject,

    “Cleanse and Flush up to 20lbs from your colon.”

    If that ain’t scary, nothing is!


  13. Just a quickie – for reals…

    posting live from the Chelsea Hotel in Atlantic City – woo! We’re not gamblers, but even so, there are some things in AC worth doing, and this is one of ’em!


    Really nice place – AND, we just watched Hellboy II on Lodgenet! THAT was better than me beating Mr. Das this evening at pool! (Okay – he scratched on the 8 ball, but still…I win!) A good nor’easter’s blowing outside, so there’s this nice stormy atmospheric thing going on…with fireplaces and wine and chocolate. Just a nice overnight getaway.

    Of course, with this link in here, I’m sure this post will end up in the spam bucket with all the rest of the dubious missives…


  14. Joe, thanks for the pictures. I’m not into scifi books so I haven’t felt the need to leave a comment but talking about your spam filter problem I had to leave my thoughts. I get some of those one’s as well. I wonder what that says about us… wink! Maybe you need to reply back to Tabby and find out what that’s all about… 🙂 Take care!!!!

  15. Hey Joe!

    Now those photos are making me VERY curious about what’s going to happen in “Enemy at the Gate”. Atlantis in hyperspace? We shall see. 😉

    Sorry for the lack of comments lately on my part, I’ve been very busy with schoolwork, heh.

    Thanks as always!

    – Enzo Aquarius

  16. Joe one of my husband’s and my favorite show’s is Ghost Hunters on the back stabbing scifi channel or Paranormal state. Have you every seen either one of those. They can be very creepy. Welp I live in central Oregon and last week it was warm around 70 Fahrenheit, now today there’s three inches of snow and it’s a balmy 30. Oh I love Central Oregon. Our saying: You don’t like the weather wait five minutes and it will change. Hey also are you souly a dog lover or do you like cat’s as well. I love all animals but cats are my favorite and what I have. They are my kids and my family. I couldn’t imagine a world with out them. Have a wonderful night, Nicole. 🙂

  17. My apologies for the incredible amount of typo’s in my post. Dam lack of sleep get’s me everytime. >) Nicole.

  18. Aw, Joe… am sorry for both your and Paul’s sake that the horror movie didn’t fly in L.A., after the nightmares that trip gave you. But you dished it so well that we did laugh out loud. “They say” that not everything sticks to the wall… and that good writing eventually finds a home. This will, too.

    You have so many projects in the works, I don’t know how you keep all the storylines straight and flowing. I envy your discipline! You make yourself write every day, and then you write for us.

    Were you a school kid when you first started writing stories? How old were you? What was your first fiction story about? Which authors and books “lit the flame” for you and made you know in your gut that you had to write?

  19. Pardon my monsters…er…duplicates!

    Can’t tell what happened yet. Was going to send one post with one e-mail addy and the second post with a different one, to see the different monsters (thanks to the good Narelle’s advice). BUT what happens is that two copies show up of either one or the other post. If one truly is missing, will have to send it in the morning. And I swore off late-night posting, LOL.

  20. Joe,

    I’m very much intrigued by the design on the tee shirts. Because the city of Atlantis, going through a wormhole to another galaxy, perhaps? Too cool. That can’t happen, right?

    Curiously yours,


  21. …But I was having all this fun imagining you receiving an e-mail from me, scowling, then waiting a few months to answer, claiming you found it in your “junk mail.” I mean, that’s what Moe does.

  22. HO. LY. F. UCK.


    Ahem. Yes. Interesting photos there.

    Also, do you mind forwarding that Tabby email to me? It sounds…interesting.

    Sorry about your coming-up-empty in LA; but then, maybe it’s not a bad thing at all. Look at David Hewlett; I don’t think he had a big LA studio backing his A Dog’s Breakfast, and look where that film’s been! If the material is good, I’m confident it’ll be receiveved favorably, whether on thousands of movie screens, or as a viral video spread across the web. You’ll see.

    Meanwhile…so, thoughts on the US elections at all? Or are you the kind of person who views politics like Joe Mallozzi views fruits in desserts?

  23. I got an early birthday card from aunts and what not and decided to spend the cash on SGA season 4. The only problem is it was sold out…EVERYWHERE! Man the sales In Australia must be good.
    I had to go to 9 different shops before I found a copy, And to top it off it was sanity the most expensive so it cost me $85 0.o
    well one night left and Im 20 whooooooooooohooo
    though it’ll be my birthday here, before it is there..XD hehe

  24. Late again on my thoughts of Acacia. It was definately interesting, though I found the book hard to get through. Once it got into the “9 years later” part-that flew by! But the whole magic idea-nah… But I’m guessing the army (the bad guys) make Vlad the Impailer seem tame. Enjoyed it though (could have been a tad bit shorter)

  25. Hey this is my first time posting here (I think), but I’ve been a long time reader.

    Thanks for the pics, love the t-shirts how can us fan type people get our grubby mitts on em?

  26. @ shawna
    Sheppantis? Checkett? No can’t say I have… OK I’m intrigued now I’ll go have a look.

    Hey and Joe, I’m curious. If you were to produce the horror thing yourself, who’d finance it? Would you look for someone or put in your own money and just get it back? How much does a horror movie cost to produce anyway (I mean, I know some films Jeffrey Combs played in cost like 15000 and they didn’t have money to buy new intestines when old ones spoiled, and they’re fun entertainment, but I kinda mean the price tag on something a notch higher up). And what’s the biggest expense, is it the cameras?

  27. Hey, ditto on the shirts, I want one! If you’d like to send me one for Christmas, that’d be lovely. 😉

  28. Joe,

    I need to understand something about Stargate Universe. Maybe its because I’ve been suffering some very serious life-changing problems lately and that I need some familiarity in my life right now, but with Atlantis winding up its run on TV, with SG1 also gone, for some reason everything that I have read about SGU makes it seem as though this new show will not have any connection to SG1 and SGA, and that the huge ‘universe’ of Stargate is coming to an end. (except in the SGA movie)

    Will SGU ever show the SGC? Will major or minor characters from the shows ever make an appearance? Will fans of SGA/SG1 feel like they are watching “Stargate” or will it be as different as SG1 is from Sanctuary? Are the creators running from the universe they created or are they extending the same universe in a similar fashion that SGA extended SG1?

    Life has been kicking me in the ass for some time now and the times I escape into the world of Stargate are becoming ever more important to me. Go figure. It would be nice to know that SGU will occasionally feature a player from SG1/SGA and give the fans a nice connection.

    Thanks Joe, enjoy your Asian vacation!

  29. Drldeboer writes: “too many unanswered questions at the end so maybe I’ll give this series another shot after I’m over my political nausea.”
    Answer: Too many unanswered questions? Really? One of the things that greatly impressed me about this book was the fact that it did such a nice job of tying up all of the major loose ends rather than leaving them dangling for the next book in the series.

    Then I didn’t pay enough attention and I’ll have to read it again sometime. Major ends, ok. But more about the Santoth? do they get the magic unscrewed? do they get help? where did the Nums come from and what exactly was their deal with Corinn? who are the people across the sea and what do they do with the children (quota)? will Corinn remain Queen? how does Mena handle the goddess? More about the Vumus? what happened with Dariel? just some thoughts.

    Speaking of fantasy book adapted to TV, I was greatly anticipating seeing what was done with Terry Goodkind’s Sword of Truth series (a GREAT fantasy series if you haven’t read it you should) since the Xena people worked on it… just saw the premiere and unfortunately, I’m not so impressed as yet. Guess I was expecting more and a cast that more physically resembled the characters. The best casting so far is Zedd. I can’t wait to see how the Mord-Sith are portrayed because they are quite… violent.

  30. Lovely photos, isn’t dangerous to put two examples of gorgeousness in one room? Like throwing a tennis ball at a pot of pure nitroglycerin? (yes, I mean Kavan and Joe. I am apparently a slave to my hormones and I will now go and hang my head in shame).

  31. Nice pics. I’ll take the back of the head shots of Joe F. any day (lol).

    So Joseph, we are both winners, because I had a lottery spam too that said “claim your won prize”.

    Your spam doesn’t like Carl I see and the “Tabby” email well that just paints too many pictures in one’s mind now.

  32. hi joe! Oh the marvels of technology! I can access your blog & comment from my little mobile. Excuse me while i go all giddy here with excitement for a minute! Joe, i’ve got you in the palm of my hand! There’s no escape!

  33. Hi Joe.

    I have a general question about getting a job on a film or tv show set. How does one become the on-set still photographer? I don’t exactly live in an area of the country bursting with productions. But I would still like to know how to get my foot in the door (without getting it crushed).


  34. Joe,

    So as the Atlantis movie moves forward, what is the target time frame for filming it?

    Do you know if when Atlantis Season 5 will come out on DVD, wether or not it will come out on Blu-ray at the same time?

  35. I broke my third toe on my right foot.

    Have you ever broken a toe?

    I find it especially annoying as it seems such a wimpy reason to limp.

    “Why you limpin’?”
    “I broke my toe.”
    “Your big toe?”
    “…No. One of the littler ones…”
    “Oh…” Pause. “So why you limpin’?”

    Not to mention I’ve had to tell the story of my toe five times today.


  36. Hi Joe, what does a supervising producer do? Also, any pics of Connor Trinneer?

  37. Coucou Joseph!
    Sa va ??
    Je suis un peu en retard car je me suis prise un sanglier en voiture ce soir O_O!! Il été énorme au moin 80kg!!! Heureusement tout le monde va bien et la voiture n’à que la portiére gauche d’endommagé. Comme il était mort , ont la récupéraient pour le cuisiner ensuite!!!

    Bon et bien voila^^! Bisou Bisou!! je vous adore!

  38. I came across interview with Charles Shaughnessy regarding his playing the character Alec Colson in SG-1.

    Were there any plans to use that character in episodes after Covenant? I remember after that episode aired I had hoped to see Alec Colson reappear in another episode.

  39. Yeah, behind the pics, gonna miss those, but we always have the pugs : ) !!!!!!!!!!!!!! love the pugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Thanks for all the pics, Joe.

  40. that was behind the scene pics, sorry, I’ve been awake since 2 am and I have 2 hours left of work.

  41. Cool t-shirt – I want one too. The wormhole looks like The Time Tunnel.

    @lindagagne – looked more like Joe’s stand-in to me. Kavan looked fantastic though. Was it casual dress day on Atlantis? Thanks Joe.

    Cheers, Chev

  42. Hi Joe,

    what can Vala/Qetesh/Claudia Black’s fans expect for our favourite character(s)/actress in the 3rd SG-1 movie? Or this one is the one to skip and wait for 4th because of being Vala/Qetesh/Claudia-lite?

  43. Okay, I’m going to go out on a limb here and dash off a teensy tiny request re the SGA movie and costuming.
    Could you puh-lease finally lose the bada$$ black for Shep? Enough already! It doesn’t suit him, it’s been done for the last 2 seasons, and it’s getting stale.
    The man has hazel eyes, for crying out loud – stick him in green!
    Oh, it’s not just me, btw – this is… is… a campaign! I’m just spearheading it…
    In any case, since ‘offworld’ looks cunningly like Canada – *narrows eyes* – you’d think that camo would have been a sensible option before now.
    How ’bout it?
    Of course, right!

  44. Very, very nice graphics on that SGA 100 Episode t-shirt. Good going SGA Art Dept and extraordinarily talented designers!

    I will make what has to be the 12th plea so far this Comments section, and I will pay gladly for one of those t-shirts. Can you open a side job Joe and grab a truckload, sell them online? I’ll bet you won’t be stuck with a single one. Seriously, I’d like one please.

    As more time passes I find myself warming to thoughts of SGU, and what wonders we may all see… maybe it’s also because the US elections are FINALLY done. Thank God. Goodbye to torturous political ads… for a while any way.

    Looking forward to a “Michael” extravaganza tomorrow night as he and his goons invade our precious Atlantis in “The Prodigal”… good times, good times.

    Thanks for the beauty shot of the gate Joe. That practical puddle is damn awesome.

    Green sorry about your broken toe. Dude = Ice packs.

    Sniffling, coughing, burning w/fever flu in NJ, yet up for SGA – always,
    Carol Z

  45. I can see the promo now…

    “… and every 100 episodes produced comes with its own bad boy blackhole T-shirt!!…”

    I want one TOO, Joe!! XL… to cover my binaries…

  46. Horse N. Buggy

    You should probably start investigating unions to join if you want to do anything on a film/television set.

  47. @Shai: I have dark hair, hazel eyes and wear alot of black. Okay.. I also have a black Labby who likes to malt, but the colour’s versatile. It’s, uh.. user-friendly. It’s easy. You don’t have to think about what parts of the colour wheel are gonna spit feathers at one another. And it’s fun to confuse peeps when you do choose to wear something bright.

    Green: Ouch.. i’d say kiss it better, but that might lead to more injuries. So, uh.. rest up and get well soon, huh?

    Joe: Niiiice piccies.

  48. Broken toe saga:

    It’s actually gotten better. I can walk on it and it doesn’t hurt so much. Granted it’s big and swollen and red causing fear in the hearts of pharmacy clerks.

    I asked for it, I think. I mean, who goes to a pharmacy clerk for a diagnosis, really?

    “Hey, um, can I ask your opinion?”
    “Sure, do you need the pharmacy specialist?”
    “I dunno. It’s not really a pharmacy question (no, I didn’t say pharmaceutical, conjugation is not my strong point).”
    “What do you think of this?” Points to third toe.
    “Ow wow. That does not look good. What’sherface’sname, do you want to look at this?”
    What’sherface’sname walks over, “Oh. You need to see a doctor…”
    “Well, you see, that’s not really an option.”
    “If it spreads you really need to get it taken care of.”
    “…Spreads? What…what do you mean by spreading?”

    At this point the San Andreas fault enters my mind. I picture my little bone in my little toe fracturing like a river throughout my entire foot. Like when you have a ping in your front windshield and over the course of a month it evolves to shattering point.

    She was, I found out, not talking about a fracture. Rather, she was under the assumption that I had a big ole infection in my toe. I explained to her that I was pretty sure it was a fracture and she said basically what I’d been doing. Buddy tape it. Stay off it. (well, I can’t exactly stay off it. I’m a busy gal)

    She was suddenly disinterested. I almost wish, now, that it were some weird mysterious infection. Though, with my slight hypochondria, I’m sure my mind will figure out a way how it could be a weird mysterious infection.

    I know you wanted to be updated on this. Wait…you’re saying this isn’t my blog!

    Well shit a monkey…

  49. Re: Shirts

    What on earth is everyone talking abou–holy crap! Those are awesome!

    U-N-O-B-S-E-R-V-A-N-T unobservant! That’s me! Unobservant! Whoop-ee.

  50. Hey Joe, I can’t believe it but it’s been a whole year since I last read your blog. Unfortunately the life that exists outside the realms of the internet (I was sure it was a myth, but apparently not) dragged me away from most things that consume time and/or give me some form of entertainment, but I’m BACK! I’ve missed you and all that you provide so much and I’ll do my best to stay on top of things. I figured that now Universe is finally here I should try and get all the insider info as it’s an incredibly awesome show. Well done to you and the gang for an amazing result.
    Also, thanks for the Kavan pics. I love that man. Next time you see/speak to him, tell him “the skank says hello, and Kaj Eriksen insists that the gayness level has increased from 40% to 60%”. He’ll know what it’s about. 😉

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