One of the most fascinating aspects of working on a show like Stargate: Atlantis is the passion with which fans express their love for the series. Sometimes, they’ll convey their loyalty by attending conventions, joining online communities, or posting their thoughts on this very blog. Other times, they may organize a petition drive, demonstrate outside the studio, or send an angry letter threatening to key my car. And still other times, they’ll communicate their affection by writing their own original stories, fan fiction, involving members of the Atlantis team in all sorts of crazy adventures, occasionally crossing the Stargate universe with those of other popular shows like Dr. Who, Torchwood, Heroes, and Lost. A significant portion of these fan fics are romantic or sexual in nature, bringing together characters who were denied the opportunity to hook up on t.v. – like Sheppard and Teyla, or Sheppard and McKay, or Sheppard and the Ancient potted plant that was sitting in the gate room when the expedition first arrived on Atlantis. When it comes to these pairings, anything goes and the only limit is the power of the writer’s imagination (and, if they want to really be sticklers about it, the legal departments of the shows whose copyrights are being infringed upon). Inter-series and interspecies couplings are as happily explored as same gender pairings and, now and then, these fan-derived relationship fics can feature two, three, sometimes four different players. As the respective fan bases have grown, so has the fan fiction, and the various sub-sections of fan fiction, to the point that, today, each particular sub-group can boast upwards of hundreds of enthusiastic supporters. And, as these sub-groups have developed over time, they’ve adopted titles to distinguish themselves. Often, these titles are an amalgamation of the names of the characters they seek to pair up. Proponents of Sheppard and Teyla, for instance, may write Sheyla fan fiction. Those who prefer a McKay/Sheppard pairing may write McShep fan fiction. And so on.

Unfortunately, because of the nature of my work, I am not permitted to read fan fiction (which is just as well considering the amount of reading I do manage to fit in during my free time). However, I have been made aware of certain fan fiction factions that simply sound too interesting to pass up. I will definitely make it a point to check these out once I’m no longer in the business and either enjoying my early retirement in Okinawa or working the nightshift at my local Denny’s. What follows is a list of these unique fan fiction groups including a rundown of the various relationships explored and, of course, their clever designations:

Lanto (Torchwood) + Hiro (Heroes) + Grover (Sesame Street) = LanRover

Mohinder (Heroes) + Toshiko (Torchwood) + Ronon (Atlantis) + Teyla (Atlantis) = Motorola

Ford (Atlantis) + Sheppard (Atlantis) + Zelenka (Atlantis) = Fo’shezel

Sylvester (Looney Tunes) + Phyllis (The Office) = Syphyllis

Boo Boo (Yogi Bear) + Tweety (Looney Tunes) + Caldwell (Atlantis) = Booty Cal

Spike (Buffy) + Xander (Buffy) + Foreman (House) = Spiderman

Bert (Sesame Street) + Sayid (Lost) + Titus (Titus) = Bersaytus

Indy (Indiana Jones) + Jesse Katsapolis (Full House) + Carlton (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air) = Indyjesston

Diane (Cheers) + Reba (Reba) = Diareba

Marvin Martian (Looney Tunes) + Tintin (Hergé) + Gary Unmarried (Gary Unmarried) + Hiro (Heroes) = Martin Garo

Flo (Alice) + Aunt Bea (The Andy Griffith Show) + Martha (Dr. Who) + Carson Beckett (Atlantis) = Flea Markett

Mulan (Mulan) + Goofy (Disney) + Guy Caballero (SCTV) + Peter Pan (Disney) = Mugoo guy pan

Anybody familiar with any of these? Any good? Are there any others I’m missing out on?

106 thoughts on “November 6, 2008: Fabulous Fan Fiction!

  1. LOL

    LanRover, Motorola, Booty Cal, Indyjesston, Flea Markett (poor Dr. Beckett, wonder what he would think) have got to be my favourites titles there =D

    No, unfortunately never heard of them before now. Sorry.

    Oh, that reminds me. I was surprised the other day to find the DeLuise family on SeaQuest. That was cool! Did they ever mention it whilst working on Stargate?

  2. Joe, The comment about Shep and the potted plant had me rolling on the floor! I had my husband read the post and he just sat there and shook his head. He’s upset he didn’t think of these first!! Again you bring a smile to my face. OK, when are you going to do the Brad Wright Q & A? We have waited long enough!! Is he gonna blow us off? Hope not! Bye, Bye, Sheryl

  3. Eventhough you may not be in total professional producing mode you still manage to produce professional-like intertainment. Nice montage. And where’s your name? Hmmmm.

  4. Hi Joe, sorry to hear L.A. was a bust. Keep trying. I keep trying to get myself a day to work on my novel, and my fanfic (no romance there) – too much other work going on.

    Sherwood Forest Maiden writes: “Joe, in early September, I sent some chocolate to the cast, can you confirm that it was received at SGHQ?? “

    Answer: Sorry, SFM. I have no idea what the cast does and doesn’t receive.

    C’est la vie!! 🙂 I’ll throw the recipt out – it didnt have a tracking number anyway.

    A significant portion of these fan fics are romantic or sexual in nature, bringing together characters who were denied the opportunity to hook up on t.v. – like Sheppard and Teyla, or Sheppard and McKay, …

    Can’t see the point in McShep myself :S but – to each his/her own!!

    Meantime, it’s November and almost summer here in the Southern Hemisphere, and yet the hard southerly front that cme over the country on Tue and lasted till Thurs has brought snow to the hills around my city – in the south of NZ. YUCK!! So cold.

    But I can still go home and tease my exchange student about missing out on SGA S5. We were watching the final epi for S4 and she was quite excited to be able to watch next week – mistaking the “to be continued” line at the end for meaning that part 2 of the story would be played next week. She was quite disappointed to find it was the finale for S4 and that S5 didnt start till next year – after she has gone home. She says that SGA hasn’t played in Bremen (Gemany) at all.

  5. Hold on, let me pry myself from the floor and try to remember how to breathe…

    You know, it would have been funny enough just hearing your, uh, generous (to be fair ^_^’), outlook on our hobby. The newly created ‘ships’, however… just, beware, my family may sue you for wrongful death by asphyxiation.

    If I were you, I’d stay away from fanfiction. 🙂 I know I was indoctrinated at an early age, I spent several formative years in the cult— you have the disadvantage of a rational mind and some level of sanity.

  6. Okay, that was funny.

    Truthfully, though you will probably never read them, there are some truly good Atlantis fanfiction stories out there (most having nothing to do with ‘ships or whump, or whatever, in any great degree). Just good action stories, whose authors ought to be trying to break into the action or scifi novel business.

    However, you have to know what to look for, and probably wade through some really awful dreck, to find them, so it’s your call (when you’re working at Denny’s, that is). 😉

  7. Ianto, not Lanto!

    Other than that, some of those definitely merit further investigation. Top of my list, Martin Gero, definitely.

  8. Joe,

    Actually your first one doesn’t work because the character’s name is IANTO with an I. But other than that, I love the portmanteau’s (which is what the pairing names are called).

  9. Joe,

    I love long as the stories are what I agree with or think should have played out on screen…John/Teyla..Ronon/Keller so I am one of the many who are glad that we have an outlet for our ships. I’ve actually read some pretty good when you retire and you have some free time look me up. I can point you towards some great stories. I’m sure some will have you thinking..why didn’t I come with that idea 🙂

    So, saw the trailer for The Prodigal and I’m really hoping Teyla does more than argue with Micheal and run around with the baby in her arms. Can’t wait to see my man Ronon in action..very excited to see Teyla turn into the mother tiger protecting her young. I really can’t wait. Haven’t been this excited since waiting for Tracker <— a lot of good that actually did since it was all shot to hell in The Lost Tribe..but I won’t think about the past 🙁

    Looking forward to posting my comments after the epi. I know you wait up for it. 🙂 I’ll try to post it ASAP so you won’t have to wait long. 🙂

    Take Care

  10. *Gets control of her laughter, but still giggles* That was so funny.

    Heh! I’m one of those who spend hours reading fanfiction, but I hate those name concoctions, that some uses for their fave SGA couple. No use. Other wise I’d be “ShWeir” for me (Sheppard & Weir), but I keep myself to either Sheppeard/Weir, John/Elizabeth or just J/E.

    No McKay & Sheppard for me, because since you, the master creators of SGA, didn’t created them to be that way, gay that is, I can’t seem to stomach that. All in all, in a nutshell, I respect how you created them to be. Heterosexual men. Simply don’t understand the other camp, but that’s just me.

    – Charlie (who wrote her first comment here).

  11. I keep meaning to comment on your blog and thank you for the entertainment and the behind-the-scenes photos and the information – mostly, though, for the wry and tongue-in-cheek sarcastic comments, which brightened up quite a few otherwise dull mornings for me lately. 🙂

    “[…] or Sheppard and the Ancient potted plant that was sitting in the gate room when the expedition first arrived on Atlantis […]”

    I hope you realize what you’ve done here?! I suspect that by the end of the weekend, there will be at least five Sheppard/potted plant fics, just because you’ve brought it up and people feel challenged. 😉

  12. Oh I LOVE it! Goodness me I needed that laugh! 🙂

    Shep and that damn potted plant! LOL

  13. Ugh…fan fic. I’ve written a couple things, but mainly as a creative exercise…or to help me explain to myself what I see in a character/situation – stuff that will never see the light of day (a.k.a. the internet). I prefer to write light dialogues that spring out of a good forum discussion – a ‘scenario’ that epitomizes whatever it is we’re rambling about. It’s just more fun to do, and not really what I’d consider fan fic. Never really read any fan fic, except for a very nice one based on Common Ground, where everything is told from Todd’s standpoint – it was actually very good, and it stayed true to the episode. That was nicely done. But I don’t like to read enough to get into fan fic, and then it’s all over the place and sometimes just plain weird. Nah, I prefer the structure of ‘canon’.

    @ green – Sorry about the toe. I’ve broken my little toe on my left foot about 3 times – it’s numb in places now, and I can’t move it. Each time I’d ‘stub’ it, I just limped through the pain and didn’t bother with the doctor because I come from one of those ‘tough it out’ kind of families…sooooo….

    When Mr. Das nailed his little toe but good the night before our ‘tall ship tour of New England’, I said, ‘Bah! You don’t need the emergency room! It’s just stubbed, and even if it’s broken, there’s really nothing they can do for it. Besides, we’re leaving for New England in less than 9 hours!’

    Well hubby, the trooper that he is, suffered through the discomfort as we tackled the Charles W. Morgan, et al., in Mystic Seaport, the Whaling Museum in New Bedford, the Mayflower in Plymouth, the USS Constitution in Boston, the Friendship (and The House of the Seven Gables) in Salem, and a quick run up into Maine. With each passing day, the color in his toe…and foot…blossomed into a most interesting display of colors – blues, purples, reds, yellows…greens…

    A couple months later he casually mentioned that his foot was ‘still swollen’. “Still swollen?!” I exclaimed. “Lemme see!” I looked, and sure enough, his foot was swollen. Sheepishly I suggested that, perhaps, he should go to the doctor now. He did, and came home with the report that he had not broken his little toe, but instead had broken one of the bones along the outside of his foot behind the little toe. It was well on it’s way to healing, and nothing could be done for it now.

    Around the same time a friend of ours broke the same bone in his foot. He immediately went to the doctor, who made him wear a boot for about 3 months. When the bone had not yet mended properly, he had to undergo surgery, and was in the boot again for 6 more months. So, when this happened, I told my husband, “See?! Aren’t you happy you listened to me? Otherwise you could be limping around for nearly a year with a messed up foot, unable to work, unable to pay the medical bills. Instead, you toughed it out and it actually healed better and faster!”

    He just looks at me and rolls his eyes… 😛


  14. Nathan Stark (Eureka) + Forest Gump + Ba’al + Jack = Stumping Back Slash

    Spock + Sailor Moon = Spoon

    Picard (Star Trek) + McKay + Unas = Picayune

    G.I Joe + Vala Mal Doran + Bozzo The Clown = Joe Mallozzi

    And my contribution to Star Gate Jeopardy Categories:

    – Keep Your Eye On The Ba’al
    – As The Star Gate Turns
    – Kiss My Asguard
    – Maroon or Teal’c
    – Oh My Goa’uld
    – It’s All Ancient To Me
    – Nox Three Times
    – Mind Your Mother Ship
    – PoO 101

    Patricia (AG)

  15. LOL! Wonderful. Sometimes I like to make vids about ships that no one has probably ever done before (one of my favorites of these so far is RepliCarter/Niam, but then I’m just a big romantic sap) and really, much of the fun is trying to think of new names for the ship.

    Incidentally, I do hope you know that not all fanfic centers around ships. A large part of it, yes, but there’s a vast amount of what’s called “gen fic” which is, in my opinion, generally better than shipper fic because it tends to focus more on silly things like action, drama, comedy, and team interaction rather than just coming up with elaborate reasons that various characters need to have usually completely OOC sex. Which is the big problem I particularly have with slash fic… I mean, most of the characters involved simply aren’t gay, which is kind of a big obstacle to writing them in a gay relationship.

  16. You know, call me cynical but as my professor said in university, “always be careful who you show your work to”, even professors steal student’s ideas.

    So, I dunno. I’m a little incredulous when writers say they don’t read amateur writers’ material. I’d like to believe that, because hey, one can always chalk fan fic up to pulpy schlock. Right? “Pschawww! I nevaaaa read that stuff.” But the truth is, you get ideas where you get ideas. Yes?

    They key is, making sure one’s “procured” ideas are not “too” similar, so as to be a liability.

    And at the same time, I’m also of the belief that people should not be able to INDEFINITELY live off of the vails of work produced twenty-five, to fifty years previously. At some point this work needs to become public property. For instance, the utterly customary “Happy Birthday” song cannot be sung at your favourite restaurant unless that stated restaurant has paid a royalty fee.

    So…this is to say: you thought that jig “Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you bla bla bla-bla bla bla-bla” song was public property (Buzzer sound of FAILED!) Noooooowah! You are incorrect.

    The copyright will not expire for this ditty until 2030. And whhhhhyyyy is that you may ask???

    Well…Mr. Walter Disney, who liked making sex and violence cartoons (like Reg Hart here in the Big Smoke), realized there was more money to be made in happy family cartoons. His studios pushed for the copyright act extension in 1976. You can do the quick read about this on Wiki. Though you probably know this anyway.

    So, should an artist, studio “corporation” (whaddeva) be able to almost indefinitely make money off of one successful piece? I don’t think so. I’m of the mind: Produce more work. AND GET A JOB HIPPY!

    The issue really isn’t “do you borrow ideas from amateurs?” the issue is will you let THEM, BORROW IDEAS from you? 😉


  17. Oh. I just don’t know what to say. I bow to your supreme comedic touch, I worship at the alter of your punstering. God help anyone needing my services tonight because my brain has ground to a stop, endlessly whirling between Syphillis, Flea Market, and Martin Gero…

  18. So what were the thought processes that lead up to this blog entry Joe? Just come and sit here on this niiiice comfortable couch and tell me all about it. You have 59 minutes remaining for this session…

    How about Dumbledore (Harry Potter) and Assistant Director Walter Skinner (X-Files) = Dumbass?

    What is the strangest object/animal that your dogs have brought you?

    I woke up this morning to our Ridgeback x Bullmastiff presenting me with a headless possum. Charming.

    I initially thought it was the remnants of his favourite soft toy from when he was a puppy, Mr Gordo, as they look awfully alike, but alas, headless possum. He’s not a waster though. He’ll consume the entire thing. Then as long as his butt is attached to the rest of him he will not be allowed in the house for at least 2 days.

    We often wonder when the possums will get the message about the dangers of living in that particular tree.

    The new residents of the tree are probably a nice young family of possums. The possum realestate agent takes them through the place.

    Possum Realestate Agent: “As you can see, it’s a spacious gum tree, views of sunrise, lots of space to run around and rummage for the little tackers.”

    Loving Possum Mother: “Ooh, isn’t it lovely Honey? It’s perfect.”

    Loving Possum Father: “Just wondering, why did the last tenants move out?”

    Possum Realestate Agent shifts awkwardly: “Oh, um, they moved interstate.”

    Loving Possum Father: “We heard a rumour that the family got eaten”

    Possum Realestate Agent: “Eaten? Eaten! No, no such thing. Just local gossip. You know how it is. Um, just come through and look at those views again.”

    Potential horror movie in the making.

  19. Love the fanfix mixes, but I hate to burst the lanrover one, because the torchwood character’s name is I(i)anto. I’m sure there’s a good one in there, but I”m too tired to think of it right now.

  20. BAHAHAHAHA!!!! As a ‘polar bear’ (non-shipper) I find much amusement in your hysterical pairings/menage a trois/group gropers!

    I don’t ‘ship’…travel by sea makes me queasy.

  21. Hey Joe

    Thanks heaps for today’s comedy. Really cheered me up. I loved Syphyllis and Martin Garo. I’m sure Mr G. will get a big kick out of that.

    Just wondering about something on TV, not just Stargate: What is the difference between “Guest Star” and “Special Guest Star” when the opening credits are played out in Act 1. Is it a simple differentiation, or is it something more complex?

    Thanks again and hope you have a great weekend.


  22. Mmmm, you give us too many ideas! If I weren’t so far behind on NaNoWriMo, I would get writing right away 😀
    Thanks, as usual, for the laugh! Have you pitched your comedy pilot yet? You certainly have the gift of humor!

  23. Hey Joe!

    You definitely deserve to win over 9000 internets or something with that list of ‘ships. Nice job, gave me quite a laugh. 🙂

    Thanks as always!

    – Enzo Aquarius

  24. Very funny Joe!

    Now I need to catch my breath! Thanks for the giggles!

    Patricia Lee

  25. We have a saying over at LiveJournal where you’re not allowed to go, ‘If you can imagine it, someone will write it.’ And I’m pretty sure that potted plant/Sheppard fic was good! Oh, and Caldwell is sexxy enough to pair with anything!

  26. I am an old fandom crone and have never liked smush names (actually, I’ve never been much of shipper). You have redeemed them in my eyes, good sir.

    And from now on, if anyone asks, I’ll say I’m a Fo’Shezel shipper and leave them to sort it out while I cackle.

    Also, I hope you realize that in accordance with internet law, if the ships did not prior to your blog entry today exist, then they do now. Well done.

  27. Long time reader, first time….oh sorry, that would be Dr. Horrible. 😉 Daniel/Vala has sometimes been called Dala. One of my favorite fandom ship nicknames is Sparrabeth (Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swan from Pirates of the Caribbean). But being a Daniel/Vala shipper, I’m obligated to share how the d/v pairing is sometimes referred to as DeVilish. And on a side note it’s actually Ianto (with an i, pronounced yonto), not Lanto. Just thought I’d let you know.


  28. I enjoy reading Fanfiction that is true to the show and its characters.

    There is some really well written fanfiction and it is very enjoyable reading – but there are stories out there that are SO badly written that adjectives can’t describe how bad they are……

    My two cats are staring intently at the screen as I type this – do you think that they are churning out fanfiction when I am out of the house?


  29. Hi Joe!

    Thank-you for the real-life laughing out loud I did for today’s blog!!!!! Shep and the potted plant – I *knew* he was giving that plant the eye!

    The portmanteaux (thanks Katy) were beyond funny! I think a good test of sobriety at a fancon would be to say “fan fiction faction” three times fast!

    OK, let me try a few. You got most of the good ones, but here’s another to throw in the mix, so to speak:

    Paris (L. Nimoy’s character on Mission Impossible) + Hank Hill (King of the Hill) + Tony Soprano (The Sopranos) = Paris Hilton

    Ford + Agent Barrett + Ronon + Teyla = F.A.R.T.

    Rodney stories on a Ha’tak = Ha’tRod

    Captain Jack Harkness (Torchwood) + Martha (Dr. Who) + Lord Yu (SG-1) + Captain Samantha Carter (SG-1) = Captain MY Captain

    Sheppard (SGA) + Elizabeth (SGA) + Xander (Buffy) + Ianto (Torchwood) = SEXI!

    Stackhouse + Teyla + Ronon Dex = StackTDex

    Have a super funny lovely comfy night!


  30. Holy crap… I have never laughed that hard. Ever.

    Spot on, sir! 😀

  31. Very funny. I think Fo’shezel’s my favorite. But a few of them, while clever, are just…ew! Don’t you think Caldwell might be offended you hooked him up with not one but two cartoons! And Aunt Bea…double ew!!!!

  32. LOL!!! As a huge McShepper myself, I find I may have to turn my attention to the underserved John/PotPlant community.

  33. *each particular sub-group can boast upwards of hundreds of enthusiastic supporters*

    Hundreds? Maybe the het groups have such small numbers. Individual slash groups number in the thousands.

  34. Holy Crap is right!!! That was hysterical!! and I am a Sheyla fan, but that made a heart breaking loss in my daughters softball championship that much more bearable!!

  35. ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *wipes tear* ah the names were HILarious!

    MY birthday is the 7th, which it already is here, dont know about there 0.o
    but happy birthday to me! 20 finally though its not that big a deal really because the legal age is at 18 in australia, so yeah not much change really XD

  36. Well, the fact that you named John and Teyla as one of the ships that were denied to hook up on T.V pretty much crushes the little hope that i had. I guess it’s Kanaan and Teyla and whatever was hinted on the first few seasons between John and Teyla is over. Unless i can still hope for John and Teyla in the movies *hint*. 🙂

    Either way, totally enjoyed SGA and i truly hope the best for you and the rest of the crew.

  37. I had just gotten over the idea (or, the horror) of “Yogi/Bobo slashfic” from the post a few days ago, now to read this! I’m still giggling! The sheer mechanics of some of those pairings boggle the mind.

    I started reading SG1 fanfic and immediately lost all free time. Theodore Sturgeon’s famous law really applies to fan fic – 90% really is dreck, but the other 10% is well worth the hunt.

    I do think, too, that fanfic really helps, not hurts, any tv show, movie, book, anime, whatever – the fans write the stories you probably would, if you weren’t hobbled by pesky annoyances like, oh, budgets, time restraints, cast availability, stuff like that. I don’t do ship or slash myself, but adore the gen and the whumpers.

    Thanks for a hoot of a post today, Mr M.

  38. Ford (Atlantis) + Sheppard (Atlantis) + Zelenka (Atlantis) = Fo’shezel

    i don’t get it. 😛

  39. I’ve heard of Flea Market and Indyjesston. The Flea Market ‘ship strikes me as a tad cheap and Indyjesston – well, it’s too spicy and always feel like I should have some pepto bismol on hand. 🙂

  40. Cant you see that Sheppard and the potted plant are MEANT to be together!!!!!!

    s/pp forever!

  41. >>… Sheppard and the Ancient potted plant … <<

    Also known as Sheppot, I think, and certainly something that makes Atlantis’ Control Chair very, very jealous …

  42. Best damn laugh in ages – thanks, Joe 🙂

    I’ve never really understood fan fiction and I’ve avoided it myself, mainly out of predjudice that the author of it isn’t a terribly good writer, but also that it isn’t cannon.

  43. “.. or Sheppard and the Ancient potted plant that was sitting in the gate room.. “

    You mean those prickly masses of tangled deadwood, right?

    That’ll smart.

    Soo.. as much as i’d like to admit that these tears of laughter are associated solely with the above list, i’m gonna have to spread that burden of guilt elsewhere. SkyTwo aired ‘Irresponsible’ yesterday and no matter how many times I watch that eppi.. it still has me in howling tucks of laughter. Especially the scene with Sheppard and Lucias, as they’re heading back towards the Village.

    Joe, I have to ask.. ‘.. poisoned tape.”

    Who’s moment of absolute brilliance was that, yours or Paul’s?

  44. Patricia and Eddy, GREAT additions!

    Patricia+Wraith Cake=Patty Cake

    dasNDanger+Will (Will&Grace)+Red Robin (restaurant chain)+Sonny Bono=Danger Will Robinson!

    Thornyrose+Woody (Cheers)=Rosewood!!!!

    And finally:

    Green+No one=It’s not easy being green.

    Re: Das and your husband’s toe
    You’re a cheeky monkey!
    My toe’s actually doing loads better. So much better, in fact, I’m doubting to whether it was genuinely broken in the first place.

  45. Wow those are some of my faves. Worth the read.

    The Prodigal, Michael ep yeah!!! ok look, Michael is my fave “bad guy”, but I’m really hoping for some kind of resolution tonite. Don’t wanna be left hanging whether or not he will live or die or kidnap the kid!!

  46. *ROTFLMAO!!!*
    *wipes away the tears of laughter*

    I can just see Sheppard working those slinky hips of his as he strolls over and leans against the wall next to the potted plant…. “hey buddy…”

    Thanks for brightening up a grey rainy day here on the east coast!

    -no longer a McShepper, John/Potted Plant forever!!!! *lol*

  47. You laugh out loud when driving alone in your car, don’t you?!

    (Don’t get me wrong, I do too!)

    These were classic!

    Now, to clean the coffee out of my Macbook.

  48. I had a feeling when I saw the title of today’s entry that you were going to make me laugh. ; )

    Thanks for helping me start my Friday with a smile.

    (And now where do I find that fic of Sheppard and the Ancient potted plant that was sitting in the gate room when the expedition first arrived on Atlantis?)

  49. Oooooooh fan fic about Ianto….lovely Welsh boy that he is.

    Ha ha those are fabulous!

  50. ROTFL!!! Oh, the one with Sheppard and the potted plant! LOL!! Oh yeah, it wouldn’t surprise me at ALL!!! Have you heard of Crack!Fic? This covers a whole range of crazy ideas from the characters as penguins or cats or some other animal, to inanimate but sentient objects, to genies, to…well, less crazy ideas but that still make you go “Is the author on crack?” when you read it!! So a Sheppard and potted plant romance? Totally possible!! (I hear rumours of Todd/Sheppard, and more recently, Todd/Woolsey (from that bit in Lost Tribe where Todd puts his arm about him!) which totally boggles my mind!)

    I prefer to stick to gen, ie no relationships, or only fleeting mentions of relationships were necessary. But each to their own as they say!

    As for crossovers, check out this site! It gives you random TV shows and plot ideas for a crossover, with some very interesting results!! The sad thing is, it’s meant to be a parody of bad fanfic, but it really wouldn’t surprise me to find out some of the crossover ideas were already written!!

    (I discovered Eastenders and Coronation Street fanfic recently – if you don’t know what these are, they are British soap operas – and the idea of fanfic for a soap opera just about exploded my brain! But again, each to their own!)


  51. Martin Garo- LOL

    It is funny you mention fanfic because I have recently been reading a lot of it and to my surprise (a big surprise), I found out the true meaning of McSHep (oh, my). That is not my thing, but was more embarrassed that I had been using the term thinking that it meant the sheppard/mckay friendship/ funny bantor. In my defense, I am a relative new comer to all this, I found Stargate Atlantis by flicking channels in January 2008 and have learned a lot of terms from a lot of different people since (spent a lot of money too to get all the episodes lol).

    My favorite fanfics are the team adventure and of course shep whump (another term I had to figure out what it meant). Some are really good and keep me up til all hours because I have to finish the story to see what happens.

    I guess that is why I was so sad with the cancelation, I just got into something good and different and now it won’t be the same. My friends will be glad cause I won’t take fridays off from going out anymore come January. Case in point, one of my friends will be taking me out for dinner tonight to celebrate my birthday (birthdays can last a week or so with my friends and family) and was gonna do a movie, but I said not friday for the movie since my show is now on at 9pm. So, no movie tonight and definately no movie next week for Remnants.

  52. Thank you joe! My stomach hurts & tears are pouring down my face but it feels so good to laugh so hard! There’s a special place in heaven for funny people!

  53. Hi Mr M!

    Greetings from a very rainy Tipperary!

    Lovin’ the whole shipper thing. This is a phenomenon I was unaware of until Vancouver Con this year. I assumed Shippers were people interested in the Deadalus / Prometheus Bel’isner etc…But there you go!

    On that vein,

    How about:

    DON Corleone (Godfather) + Caldwell (SG:A) + UnaS (SG1) =

    and the other group:

    WILL Bailey (West Wing) + CALdwell (SG:A) + Lord YU(SG1)=


    (Boom! Boom!)

    On a similar and equally frivolous note, I recall a convoluted story surrounding Ghandi.
    As you know, this peace loving leader often walked barefoot leading to several calluses on his feet, some of them quite big. He was a feeble man towards the end of his life and had that mystic quality that drew huge crowds and inspired many. His diet was varied and like many of his country was fond of spicy things, often leading to bad breath.

    When asked to descibe Ghandi, a rather quick witted journalist simply said : “Mary Poppins”

    Unsure what this meant, the journalist replied:

    “Super Callused Fragile Mystic Expelling Halitosis”


    Best to all


  54. Hilarious. Fo’shezel and Booty Cal are my favorites.

    But are you sure you haven’t been reading any fan fiction? Because I could have sworn I read the Sheppard/potted plant story….They got married and had lots of little seedlings. Tragically, it turned out that one meal the Wraith love more than humans is a nice human/salad combo.

  55. As a long time reader of your blog, I have never really felt the need to post a comment, but this is absolutely hilarious!
    Thanks for a well-needed LOL this morning!

  56. Haha! my favorite ones mentioned so far are Motorola and StackTDex, awesome!

    lol, Joe, I love drawing crossovers and for some reason I want to draw your Mugoo guy pan crossover except that I have no idea who Guy Caballero is.
    I prefer drawing to fanfiction… and my crossover drawings are usually not shippy (I think I have only one crossover ship: Bronx(Gargoyles)/Liz(MagicSchoolBus), I shall call it “Linx”), more I just draw characters from one show in the costumes and roles of another show.

    here’s a couple examples for any non-producers/writers viewing the comments because heaven forbid they were planning on including this in the show but can’t now for fear of me suing them O_o haha.
    silly and stupid I know, but I recommend anyone (except the writes/producers/etc) look around deviantart for any cool stargate fanart.

    Joe, am I right in assuming that your no-fanfiction rule extends to music videos and fanart?

  57. ~giggles~ As usual Joe, your wit has enabled me to start my day with a big smile. Thank you so much you brilliant funny man.

  58. Holy shiitake mushrooms, Cap’n Mallozzi!

    Are ya tryin’ to kill us all? If it t’weren’t from choking, it coulda been electrocution from spraying all over our monitors and keyboards. I’m that lucky I didn’t have my favorite Sprite on hand, or something woulda been a casualty. As it was, I was moppin’ up ma eyes after laughing so hard. Didja let the fair Fondy read this, so you could have the pleasure of seeing one of us lose it entirely?

    And those combinations are purely disturbed. (How warped are we for laughing???) At least give Carson a sweet girl doctor, like Alison Porter. That would be interesting…

    Alison Porter + Carson Beckett = AliCar, AliBeck, AliCarB (fewer calories), or CarPort.

    Or failing all else, give the puir mon the unassuming potted plant that was mindin’ its own business.

    Seriously. No Shezel. 😉

  59. I am wondering whether the sporadic scheduling of SGA new eps has lead some, who have heard Atlantis is canceled, to assume that it is no longer on the air. And stop watching.
    I know in the past, when some of my casual viewing shows weren’t on when they were supposed to be, I just drifted away.
    Although now, with the DVR set to record all new eps of a given show, it doesn’t happen so much.

  60. LOL! Thanks for the great post! It made my day!

    ” I can just see Sheppard working those slinky hips of his as he strolls over and leans against the wall next to the potted plant…. “hey buddy…”

    -omg! that was too funny!! Well done!

    McShep – you have to watch for those!! Make sure the story states it is a Gen story or watch out!

    But I have seen a few times now, McfriendShep.

  61. Coucou Joseph=)
    Enfin le week end=)!!

    ahhhh Super article!!! Dabitude que n’aime pas lire, mais je ne résite pas a une petites fanfic Sheyla ♥_♥!!

    J’espere qu’il aura des moment pareil dans le film!!

    Ehéhé oui j’y pense quand la serie sera finit vous pourrais les lire!! Mais s’il y a un 2iem film?
    Mais le plus beau couple de tous c’est le Foneph (Joseph + Fondy^^)

    Passer une bonne journée!! Bisou Bisou!! je vous adore!

  62. I just wanted to come out of lurkerdom to say I thought Acacia was a spectacular book. No questions for the Mr. Durham, but simply a thank you for taking the time to write what has turned out to be the best book I’ve read this year.

  63. I laughed my butt off at those titles. I will admit that I am a reader and writer of fanfiction, though I never go into ‘ships/slash/romancey crap. I like writing about “other Atlantis teams”, either all original or focusing on secondary characters like Markham, Biro, etc. It helps expand the Atlantis universe for other people by imagining more about the littler aspects. Most of it focuses on team dynamics and team missions, which is the fun part of Stargate. Otherwise, a lot of people just go overboard.

    I’m a Shweir fan by the way, heehee…

  64. Hahahaha..thanks for making me laugh with those unique fanfic pairings joe, very funny! 😀

    I happily admit to being a fan of various fanfics. I don’t write them myself but I have read loads of them, covering most of the shows that I love, including Atlantis (I’m a Sheyla fan!). 🙂

  65. I support JT (sheyla) and I just don’t see how people who claim to be straight can write gay sex fanfic or team sex fanfic. I avoid any story unless it’s JT or Shep Whump. Both is a bonus!

    Out of curiosity, why weren’t you allowed to air any of the pairings on tv? And how would the PTB know if you had been reading fanfiction? I don’t see what would be wrong with it.


  66. MoToRoLA, forevah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    (THANK YOU for the awesome laughs, Joe)

    Trish in Texas

  67. Well that answers my question of whether you read fanfiction. I must say that I found spiderman, martin garo, and motorola to be hilarious. Was Martin Garo supposed to be like Martin Gero do you think?

  68. So, do you ship any of those?
    Sheppard and the Ancient potted plant that was sitting in the gate room when the expedition first arrived on Atlantis,
    Flea Markett,
    Martin Garo,
    or even,

  69. Oh my… oh my… oh my…. Joe, you *slay* me! Ur, us, I mean…OMG you are TOO FUNNY.

    My favorite has to be – drumroll —

    ****** All of them ******* 😉

    and unlike for the love of Beckett, I was drinking cranberry juice and some didn’t stay in my mouth, I’m just say’in.
    I’m very glad not to have choked to death. Where on earth do you get these ideas?

    Well, if I wasn’t impressed before, (which I certainly WAS), I would be. I can imagine you and Paul writing together and spazzing out in giggles. Good times, good times.

    Keep ’em coming Mr. M.

    Carol Z in NJ,
    feeling better on flu meds. The Prodigal TONIGHT! YEAH!

  70. do u think that there is hope for Weir popping up in any movies…at all??
    and wat about Elizabeth Woosley O’Neill Keller (EWOK lol)
    Rodney Adria Daniel Ishta Carson Landry (Radical)
    Adria Weir Sam (Awesome)..awesam

  71. Here I was, minding my own business, clicking cheerfully through my daily haunts, and then your blog comes up. Talking about fanfic. It’s like these two different parts of my web experience just came together in this surreal explosion of crazy. I’d ask how you guys know about fanfic but, heh, it isn’t like we’re keeping it a secret.

    We McSheppers (for lo, there are many) very recently had a discussion about fanfic and printed fiction. As you know, most of us are older women who have been writing fanfic for a long time purely for entertainment, and across several genres and shows. Our community is very tight knit, very creative, and very, very good at our hobby. There seems to be a consensus among us that some fanfic, especially once you find a decent niche of people and a decent show that inspires creativity, is so good that it trumps printed fiction. For instance, I can name, off the top of my head, three or so pieces of fanfic on the web right now that are better than the last five printed novels I’ve read. And before you ask, no, they aren’t slash stories — in fact, most of the time, it has nothing to do with gay or straight relationships within the story, but about the plot, the content, the story telling, the characters. There are some pieces of fanfic so good that they read as if they were a script for the show. For that matter, there are some pieces of fanfic that, if they hadn’t been fanfic, would have gotten printed.

    If and when you ever decide to read fanfic, especially for SGA, you’ll find that while the show was on the air there was a rich, deep layer of stories that not only supported the show and brought more fans TO the show (free publicity!), but also broadened the scope of the world you gave us on TV every week.

  72. Shep and a potted plant.
    Now, there’s an image I can shake off…
    As for fanfic – a stack* of it is outstanding.
    If only the SGA script writers had had half the talent of the icons of fanfic… the series and even the franchise would have been better served.
    I BS you not.

    * yeah, I know, ‘stack’ is an indeterminate amount. Hm.
    Let me quantify – how about a good 25-30%?

  73. Awesome blog – I will indeed check back. Your dog is so cute it makes me want to bite it!!!!!! 8)

  74. Mr M is that Sharon Taylor beating up some wraith in the MGM Prodigal video teaser clip? Hard to tell from the jerkiness of the clip.


    Fellow posters

    I have a really terrible idea why Chloe (the senator’s daughter) is in the cast mix for SGU. Maybe like John Sheppard she have a really special gene that activate the “9th Chervon” at some Ancients outpost and her touring party get transported to the Destiny. Para-phasing from Heroes Save the Cheerleader save everyone. Maybe the Destiny only became functional with the Cheerleader alive aboard.

    Ok, sneaking off back to my hidey place

  75. I’m straight (very), female, and have been slashing my way through TV, movies and novels since I can remember. I think the first big slashy crush I had was Alias Smith and Jones and then Starsky and Hutch. Two hot guys! What’s not to like???

  76. Oprah + Bam Bam + Throw Mama From the Train = Obama
    MacGyver + Michael Cain = McCain
    Thank God + He’s Almost + Out of Office = Bush

  77. Shai wrote:

    As for fanfic – a stack* of it is outstanding.
    If only the SGA script writers had had half the talent of the icons of fanfic… the series and even the franchise would have been better served.
    I BS you not.

    * yeah, I know, ’stack’ is an indeterminate amount. Hm.
    Let me quantify – how about a good 25-30%?

    OK. I’m sure there are some incredible writers out there, but they weren’t hired to write for SGA. Joe/Paul, Alan, Martin, et al have written some excellent scripts – not stories, scripts. And there have been some merely okey-dokey scripts too. Hey, they’re writers, not gods (except to some 😉 ).

    Again, I’m going to say I expect there are great writers in fanfic that if hired at some time within SGA’s existence, could have created a great script. But I also suspect there are a lot of great writers that couldn’t write a script or stick to the canon or stay within the character and story rules of the show.

    What I suspect is some of the great writers are “great” because they went outside the bounds SGA script writers must stay within to keep their jobs.

    I suppose it’s like any artform. If you have no rules to stay within, you can create almost anything – and some of it might actually be good! But put this same artist in a design JOB with the mission to make the bosses/clients happy, who knows what will come out?

    Anyway, that’s what I think.


  78. Green, too funny. I’ve resisted coming up with any of my own “ship-isms”, since others are doing so well. But since you and others opened the door, so to speak, i’ll simply add one of my own. Joseph Mallozzi+ Evil Kenny=Malliprop. With due apologies to both gentlemen for taking their names in vain, so to speak…

  79. Uh, y’know, AV eddy – fanfic writers generally stick to canon. Canon ends Jan 9, btw.

  80. While there are a many slash or het fanfiction writers out there, there are also many gen fanfiction writers who stay in canon.
    These stories are the ones, to me at least, that have only enhanced my enjoyment of watching SGA each week.

    I watch the episode and eagerly await for many good and some great fanfic writers to post a tag to the episode. Many of these same writers will also write original stories that are great, some of which I wish would be aired on TV.

    And as SGA draws to a (premature) close this season, I can find some solace in that there will be fanfiction to read.

  81. *Laughs, nearly chokes on dinner (BBQ chopped brisket)*

    BTW, neighborhood ‘cue place serves “redneck fries”. Haven’t tried them, but you could call them “Texas poutine”…or cheese fries with brown gravy.

  82. Actually, Shai, no I don’t know. But when the discussion here includes non-canon shipping, adventures, etc., that is outside of canon. That is what I was discussing.

    Shai and ElisaD, I didn’t say NO fanfic stayed within canon. (I reread what I said and everything!) I said SOME great writers couldn’t stay within canon and still perhaps create that which some readers may think of as great.


  83. I’ve been into fan fiction as long as I’ve been online and I think in many ways, it has made me more into certain shows than others. I follow some simply because they’re on at the right time and it’s somewhat interesting but I can’t say I know much about the characters and my devotion to the show is not as high as the ones I do read fanfics for. If I miss a week or two, or even a month, it doesn’t bother me so much.

    But with the fan fic ones, I feel almost emotionally invested in the show and I have this compelling need to be there week after week to see how the characters develop, if they mesh into what I believe those characters are after having them fleshed out in my mind through fanfics. SG-1 was one of those shows — I watched off and on for the first two or three seasons before I got into SG-1 fanfics about Daniel and that’s when I fell in love with the character and had to watch every single episode after that for Daniel. It helped that he was a main character and was there pretty much every single episode. 🙂 And then when he ascended and left the show, I stopped watching the show but I kept reading fanfics and made sure to come back to the episodes where he was guest starring. And I came back to stay after he came back to stay.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is that fanfiction inspires loyalty and a love for the show that just watching the show sometimes does not because it can go so much deeper into the characters than what a 45 minute show each week can do.

  84. Hi Joe,

    I had the weirdest dream last night, you and Paul were doing a Q&A at my old high school. Things were going well, until you fainted. Not to say that I’m psychic or anything, but how are you feeling today? Also, you fainted before I could ask you a question, so I’ll ask here, where I am sure to get a real answer and not a dream one; were there ever any times during SGA where one of the writers (including yourself) had to fight over the inclusion of something in a script? Or when a producer (including yourself) has had to put their foot down and take something out?


  85. *Larissa: I support JT (sheyla) and I just don’t see how people who claim to be straight can write gay sex fanfic or team sex fanfic.*

    Do you have difficulty grasping why people who don’t kill people can write murder mysteries? They use…wait for it…their imagination.

    And ‘claim to be straight’? Wow. There are literally millions of middle-aged gay married women around the world then.

  86. Maybe I should mention these very individual Fanfiction categories in the next part of my article series about the Stargate Fandom……

    Well I think not. 😉

    Motorola and Flea Markett are a bit too much off the radar. 🙂

  87. Ronon Dex/Elizabeth Weir.

    Yes, you read that right.


    Surprisingly, this pairing probably has the highest percentage of in-character, well-written fics compared to all the other “ships”.

    Of course, there aren’t really any mashed names possible. Seriously? Roz? Ronobeth? Deir? Wex? None of them are exactly catchy.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.