When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.  But what if life's lemons are plastic?
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Unless the lemons are made out of plastic.
Venom and Alex, the happy couple
Venom and Alex, the happy couple
Child's play - Whispers
Child's play - Whispers
Me, incognito, on the set of Whispers
Me, incognito, on the set of Whispers
Whispers - monitor shot
Whispers - monitor shot
Whispers - monitor shot
Whispers - monitor shot
Darren Dolinski as Mirellus
Darren Dolinski as Mirellus

Paul walked into my office and held up the lemon so that I could read the message marked on its plastic surface: “SGA!! not SGU!!”. And so it begins.

“It’s part of the fan campaign protesting the cancellation of the show,”I enlightened him.

“Yeah, I figured.” He set the lemon down on my desk. “But why are they sending ME lemons? Why would I cancel a series I was showrunning?”

I shrugged. Thankfully, no lemons for me. Instead, I received an awesome stuffed Venom compliments of Shawna (Thanks, Shawna). And more books!

Speaking of which – with August behind us, it’s again time for me to list my favorite reads of the month. I realized that doing a monthly Top 5 was a little ambitious now that I’m no longer on hiatus, so I’ve scaled back to a monthly Top 3:

The Fantasy Writer’s Assistant and Other Stories, Jeffrey Ford

Much like The Empire of Ice Cream, the former book of the month club selection that introduced me to author Jeffrey Ford, The Fantasy Writer’s Assistant and Other Stories offers up a collection of tales both far-ranging and delightfully inventive. Ford juggles fantasy, science fiction, horror, and variations thereof with skillful aplomb. In “Floating in Lindrethool“, a door-to-door salesman falls in love with one of the jar-bound brains he is selling. “Exo-Skeleton Town” focuses on an alien world obsessed with classic movies, a planet frequented by humans who sport exo-suits in the form of silver screen greats. “Creation” spins elements of Frankenstein and Creationism in a poignant exploration of a young boy’s relationship with his father. A highly imaginative, often humorous collection with a lot of heart.

Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, Susanna Clarke

This book came highly recommended by the person who gave it to me two years ago and yet it has sat on my bookshelf since, partly because at 1000+ pages (despite the fact that it is broken up into three volumes) it’s an incredibly foreboding read, and partly because of the few people I know who have attempted to read it ultimately gave up on the book. Two volumes and I‘m honestly surprised. This a terrific novel that, while occasionally meandering in its plotting, delivers an endlessly entertaining tale of the awkward Mr. Norrell, England’s first practical magician in recent memory, and his upstart apprentice Jonathan Strange. It reads like a 19th century account complete with faux footnotes in its depiction of 1808 London, the Napoleonic Wars, and its engaging discussion of the history of magic. Endearing in its subtlety and balls-out hilarious.

Sideways in Crime, edited by Lou Anders

Editor Lou Anders assembles a little over a dozen contributions on the theme of alternative history and crime in this interesting mix of stories. As is the case with most anthologies, some of the selections resonate more than others. Stand-outs for me were Mary Rosenblum’s “Sacrifice”, Paul Di Filippo’s “Murder in Geektopia”, and John Counrtenay Grimwood’s “Chicago”. Although I preferred the more wide-open possibilities found in Ander’s Fast Forward anthologies (I was struck by how many of the stories in this collection touched on contemporized Aztec culture, Sherlock Holmes, and French-controlled Louisiana), Sideways in Crime proved an entertaining read in its own right.

With Whispers set to air this Friday night, I thought I’d say a few words about of one of the actors I’ve yet to mention with regard to the episode. Darren Dolinski plays the role of Mirellus, the mysterious local with a secret or two about a certain abandoned village. Darren won the role on the strength of a great audition, but what we didn’t know when we hired him was that this was to be his first time in front of the camera. Needless to say, his transition from stage to screen was flawless as he delivered a terrific performance.

Hey, great news! I’ve successfully shamed director Will Waring into agreeing to come by and do a guest blog for us! I’ll start gathering questions for Will on Saturday as I’m sure you’ll have plenty of Whispers-related-what-the-heck-were-you-thinking questions for him.

Today’s video: The Weird Food Purchase of the Day = Duc Tung! Duc Tung!

99 thoughts on “September 4, 2008: The Lemons Roll In, August’s Top 3 Reads, and The Weird Food Purchase of the Day

  1. Have you ever read “The Eyre Affair” by Jasper Fforde? or “To Say Nothing of the Dog” by Connie Willis?

  2. Wow, first thing I thought when I saw the picture of the gas-mask getup was a small and creepy child saying ‘Are you my mummy?’

    And I saw Lou Anders’ Sideways in Crime! I’m wishing I had actually picked it up when I did; I dunno, I’m not so sure on alternate-history-mystery… Seeing as Fast Forward fails to exist on the Gulf Coast, perhaps I should get my nose into this one…

  3. “French kissing a Mallard!!!”

    Again you have me in stitches!!! You, Mr. Mallozzi, should be writing comedy. Or, even better yet: SciFi comedy!!!

    I’d imagine any animal’s tongue wouldn’t be very good… it’s such a tough muscle!!! And duck tongues have bones? Weird!

    My personal philosophy is that when life gives you lemons, you should eat them. Which, I suppose, would be equally difficult if the lemons are plastic!!!

  4. Joe, I’ve been pushing for a few years now for a universal sarcastic font.

    So many web wars could have been avoided, less virtual blood could have been spilt if we had this recognised font. And lets not forget all of those keyboards that have ended up in the Old Keyboard’s Home just because their CAPS and exclamation mark keys no longer worked through overzealous owners banging away in an attempt to defend their virtual honour.

    Could have really done with a sarcastic font then.

    Thanks for more book recommendations!
    Have a good night.

    PS: Anne Teldy – Have you typed your name into IMDB yet? 🙂 If not, I would recommend it!

  5. Duc Tung…hm…you forgot the “Afflac” at the end of your video. Sorry, I know I can’t be the first to send that in to you. Probably not the last either.

    Looking forward to “Whispers”. Mainly since we’ll get to see our Anne Teldy immortalized.

  6. Sorry to see Mr. Mullie was caught in some crossfire, but I’m equally glad to see that the campaign go on. Since Mr. Mullie keeps a lower profile than yourself, he’s only himself to blame for not getting in on the chocolates, books, and odd t-shirts and other items that end up your way.
    My ongoing admiration for your courage in continuing to bring us the best and worst of weird foods. They’re definitely a highlight of the day.
    Thanks also for getting Mr. Waring to agree to appear. My respect, even awe, of the crew grows with each interview, as we get to learn more about what it takes to bring us the best hour in television each week.

  7. Duck Tongue! OMG! Is there anything you won’t stick in your mouth to entertain us?

    Well, besides a tall, cool glass of plastic lemonade?

    You’re certainly not changing my mind about being a vegetarian!

  8. Hi

    That duc tung looked really gross.

    I was going through some videos on YouTube and
    there was 1 video which I thought was really good
    concerning the cancellation of Stargate Atlantis:
    “Help Us Save Stargate Atlantis, Join the Fight!- Music Video” was really well done. It listed all the various awards it has been nominated for. I was very surprised
    and happy to learn its a lot more than 4 Juno awards.

    Anyway, slowly coming around to giving Universe a chance.
    If Brad can wright episodes like the Shrine, I should trust
    Universe will be of the same quality.

    I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow!!!!


  9. I don’t understand why they didn’t send it to Brad Wright. It’s partly his decision to cancell the show not Paul or your’s.

    At least I know you guys receive mail from the fans. I am currently writing individual thank you letters to the cast and crew. Can I send you the package so they will receive it? Please.

    Is it true that Colin Cunningham will return as Major Davis in Enemy at the Gates. I hope so. I always liked him.


  10. Honestly Joe, do you eat anything that is edible? I’ll see what I can find in France in a couple of weeks 🙂


  11. when it comes to the Weird Food Purchase of the Day has there been anything you have changed your mind about trying after thinking it was a good idear to start with? if so what made you change your mind about eatting it?

  12. I’m 2/3 through reading ‘Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell’ myself and I’m really enjoying it. I’m looking forward to ‘Whispers’ tomorrow and am hoping that Tropical Storm (or Hurricane; who knows what’ll be) Hanna doesn’t interrupt.

  13. Duck tongue = no thanks.

    Think of all of those poor ducks out there that are now mute.
    Scribbling away on their chalkboards to try and communicate with all of the other ducks. Only to be dealt a second cruel blow when they go for a swim with the other ducks and their chalk gets wet leaving them no other means of communication. Animal cruelty.

    TGIF in Australia.

  14. @ Joe – Really looking forward to Whispers! I just hope Hanna doesn’t come up the coast too soon and instead waits until Saturday, or else it’ll screw with my satellite. We REALLY need the rain, though – I don’t think we’ve had a drop the entire month of August. Everything’s dying. 🙁 So – we’re bracing for whatever Hanna is going to do, hoping she will just bring much-needed rain, and not mess up Whispers! Otherwise, I am ready!! Gonna make popcorn for the occasion, and everything! Can’t wait!!

    @ tamijb – Chris also portrayed another Wraith in No Man’s Land – he was the one escorting Sheppard through the hive ship, the one Michael intercepted and ‘rescued’ Sheppard from. I really liked Chris’ Wraith make-up in that episode – he had no facial hair, sleek hair, and that really strong Wraith browline which seems a bit softer in his Todd make-up. It was a short scene, but he still made one fine figure of a bug!

    Speaking of bugs…

    @ Trish – I like bugs, just not spiders. And it’s not that I hate spiders, they just freak me out for some reason. Now – I don’t like any bug jumping on me – but I don’t like anything else jumping on me either, not even my cats. But insects in general don’t bother me at all…I find them quite fascinating. Love to watch ants and wasps – just very industrious creatures – and I don’t even mind slugs (they love my Japanese tea garden’s water basin – they’re really quite pretty when you take time to look at them). But my favorite insect is probably the praying mantis – I have a couple in my garden this year – named one Jimmy (after the Wraith in The Rising) and the other Todd. They’re both females judging by their size, but I gave them boy names because – as you can probably tell by now – I’m more partial to the male Wraith then the competi…I mean, the queens. 😉

    RE: Getting carded. A couple years ago my then 38-year old husband got carded for ….whipped cream. Yes, the dessert topping, not some faddish new drink. When he started to laugh, the cashier said, “I’m serious, young man! The next time you come in here I want ID, or no whipped cream for you!” 😕

    @ wolfenm – Oh. My. Is it getting warm in here??

    It’s a good thing I wasn’t there, because that tall feller with the silvery do wouldn’t have made it home in one piece! THANK YOU for sharing! It’s nice to know that even with the show ending, there will still be dudes around insane enough to plaster themselves in green face paint, if for nothing else than to titillate silly fangirls. (Although I’m suspecting that any guy who paints himself green in the name of a fandom probably has about as much luck with the ladies as Todd has with ZPMs and hive ships)

    @ Cheeky lil Devil –Todd is cute. THAT thing, on the other hand, is right up there with Kavanaugh. *shudder*


  15. I jes’ KNOWED the lemons thing was coming your way – in which case, DO pass them on to those oh!-so-deserving recipients. Oh, btw, don’t worry your wittle head about passing them on to the Skeksis at MGM. They have enough to deal with, what with their own lemon bombardment, and all.
    O : – D

  16. Hey Joe,

    You would love going for dinner with the guys at work, they eat all the weird foods you do!
    Too weird for me, some things just should not be eaten!

    Thanks for all the adventures!

  17. Ah, the lemons start.

    I am amused by how you can dislike something…but still refrain from making any truly impolite facial expressions. Or doing a spit-take.

    I’m very excited for Whispers! It’ll be so great to see the ep I’ve heard so much about from you and talked with Christina about at London Expo.

  18. Woohoo! The lemons are arriving.

    Just a note, I only sent mine to Sci Fi and MGM…next set goes to Fox. 😀

    McKay would be proud!

  19. Okay Joe, you have at last managed to gross me out with that food! I couldn’t even watch you eat that… Keep up the good work.

    I think Iron Chef really needs to have you on as a judge. Maybe you should call Mark and see if as chairman he can pull any strings to get you on.

  20. So who should we be sending the lemons to if not paul or your self… If you guys don’t like lemons we could send limes they are just as sour.?

    Any way you have shown that whispers doll once before What is it suppose to be of??? How tall is that doll anyway. Kinda cute in a spooky way lol.. Just in time for Halloween. Speaking of which I took my mom shopping and i have never seen her have so much fun will all the toys for the season.

    Mom only gets out once or twice a mo. I guess she must have been enjoying her freedom.lol… I really had fun taking her out I wish she was feeling better so i could take her out more often.

    Your book choice Sideways in Crime looks like it might interest me i think i will pick that one up. I am in a typing mood it looks like so i had better sing off and check out some other blogs and bug them for a while see ya tomorrow connie

  21. Hiya Joe!
    I have to ask…when you do the weird food purchase of the day…have you ever tried any of them prior to the video??
    I’m telling you, I would be so scared to try half the things you try. Duck tongue??? What on earth does one get out of eating duck tongue??
    Although you now have me wanting to try butter and garlic frog legs. I’ve never had frog legs or snails…I’ve never eaten an oyster either.
    Thank you for the weird food purchase of the day videos. They are awesome!!
    Oh and hey, I got my season four Atlantis dvd’s…can I just say thank you for a fabulous season and the dvd special features were just brilliant!!
    That’s all from me today…better go pull the cake out if the oven!
    Thank you Joe.

  22. Hey Joe,

    Funny about the lemons, but they should be going to SCI FI and MGM not you guys, lol. Actually from what I have heard on the SCI FI front the cancellation seems to be a more of MGM’s decision.

  23. “French kissing a mallard.” Haha, you really made me laugh out loud. Thanks for that.

    If nuts worked for Firefly, maybe lemons will work for SGA?

  24. I just read that their are 288 plastic lemons on their way lol… look for more in the mail.lol… They where talking about it in the gateworld forum enjoy your lemon aid.lol… fake as they my be.lol..

  25. Hi again, Joe!

    Eeew. Duck tongue.

    I’ wahz nod vewy appuhtasink wookink.

    Hey look! I speak Tongueless Duckese! 🙂

    That darn Whispers doll is so creepy! And now YOU are “my mummy?” AAAAGH!

    Stupid cablelite life I lead means I won’t see Whispers til SUNDAY!!! AAAAGH!

    Yeah! Will Waring is stopping by! Bwhahahahaha! Uh…hurray?


  26. Quoted by: wonderingbrit
    “French kissing a Mallard? LOL”

    Gives a whole new meaning to French kissing doesn’t it !!

    Quoted by: Narelle from Aus
    “Duck tongue = no thanks.
    Think of all of those poor ducks out there that are now mute.”

    What about all those poor frogs without their legs??!

    Quoted by: dasNdanger
    “@ Trish – I like bugs, just not spiders.
    But my favorite insect is probably the praying mantis – I have a couple in my garden this year – named one Jimmy (after the Wraith in The Rising) and the other Todd. ”

    We tend to get huntsmen spiders in the house on occasion, so for my own sanity, I personalize them to help accept them into the house until hubby can safely remove them. Usually they come in threes so the smallest is always Junior…then there’s always a Senior and then the scariest one is usually Mum!! Go figure!!! 😀

  27. Sorry about multiple posts Joe.

    Question: How do you stay so fur free? Your suits always look immaculate, your casual clothes the same. How do you do it with four dogs in the house?

  28. Joe,

    Have there been any discussion to having either SG1 or SGA developing a Caller ID program for the SGC’s Stargate so they can get the gate address of the stargate that initialize the incoming wormhole? If we can do it with phone technology, why not gate technology?

    You think after hundreds or thousands of years, someone would have come up with something like that (Asgard, Ancients, Ori, Furlings, Nox…Carter?)

  29. When you go on break or vacation do you every clean you office out and lock it or, or do you just leave it as is? And do you every rearrange your office after so mnay months?

  30. Hi Joe:

    Based on a couple of interviews, I thought we would be getting a Teyla/Ronon sparring scene early in season 5. It didn’t get cut, did it? Please tell me we’re going to see it…


  31. Would you like a lemon? Maybe a chocolate covered lemon? Or lemon chocolate? Does that exist?
    Lemon chicken? Lemon meringue pie? We could have a whole lemon food theme day just for you if you want!

  32. Joe: Glad you liked The Fantasy Writer’s Assistant. Hope you and all the book club are doing well.

  33. You’re welcome. 🙂 Dang, that got there fast.

    I’ve seen that Jonathan Strange book in stores a lot, but I never bothered to pick it up because the cover gave no idea what it was about (which, okay, is probably pretty shallow), but it does sound interesting. I may have to get it now.

    That last anthology sounds a bit interesting, too. I love the idea of alternate histories, but have read so few such stories (admittedly, most of the ones I’ve read have been AU fanfics of various kinds). Can you recommend any other books about alternate histories?

    @ das — Aw, there’s no need to be so hard on Kavanagh. He’s cute in his own way. Like Draco Malfoy. That “I really just wanna smack him” way. Okay, yeah, I admit it. I like Kavanagh. I want to wring his little neck most of the time, but there’s just something so amusing about him. (…and he’s not bad-looking, either…)

  34. I personally would never try duck tongue, but I have had cow tongue and it’s good if cooked properly otherwise it’s like chewing rubber.

    The other day I told you about my new adventure in books and I got a response from the Library of Congress and they helped me out. I now have a good idea as to when my book was published… well at least one of two options but 1951 looks like a better choice than 1864. I don’t think my book is that old. Still I find it odd that my book doesn’t have the date printed in it.

    Have you thought about what you might choose for the October BOTM selections yet? I’m interested as I’m sure quite a few others are. May I suggest The Host by Stephanie Meyer? I know I told you about this book when I read it about a month and a half ago. It’s not too overly SciFi (i.e. technical gibberish) and it’s more about an alien, or a “soul”, realizing what it means to be human when her “host” refuses to give up her body and the two conflict with each other until they come to an understanding of what the other wants. My mom read it and loved it. It’s 619 pages hardcover, but an easy read. Stephanie Meyer writes for more of the young adult genre, but I have read everything she’s written except Breaking Dawn, the fourth and final novel in the Twilight series (that’s at the top of my too read list), and I’m 26. My favorite quote from the book sums up part of the story: “I was the soul they spoke of. It was a new connotation to the word, a word that had meant many other things to my host. On every planet we took a different name. Soul. I suppose it was an apt description. The unseen force that guides the body.” (Wanderer, chapter 2). I’m willing to read it again and I don’t re-read very many books.


    *sry…. but gas masks do that to me*
    (You know what I am talking about, don’t you?)

  36. Your weird food puchase of the day is always interesting!

    What is really cool though are those moments when you are about to turn the camera off , like the you gave to Fondy today having tried it just as the on-camera facade is fading and the real feeling sets in 🙂

  37. Yuck again. Why you put the whole thing in your mouth instead of just a bite is beyond me.

    Can’t wait for whispers. I’ve made sure movie night with the friends is on Saturday to make sure I am at home on time. Also, because my 21 year old daughter, who I’ve turned, will be able to watch it with me (no more once a month forcing). As she said when she heard of the cancellation, I was just beginning to love the show, it is not fair.

  38. Morning’, Joe

    Mmm.. lemon *and* duck tongue. My, aren’t we a lucky little Lad? Never actually tried the tongue itself, but if it’s half as fatty as the rest of the bird usually is.. well, good luck to you and i’ll forgo gatecrashing your meal.

    Will Waring’s gonna guest blog? Cool.. Gonna have to whittle off a few questions to throw his way. Actually, I caught an eppi of SG1 on SkyTwo last night and as the credits rolled by, I noticed Will’s name under ‘Camera Operator’. Sometimes you just forget how long the franchise has been going and how many rungs there are in a ladder.

    On a side note, i’ve been reliably informed in my blog that I needn’t worry about the impending cancellation of Atlantis. This, apparently, is mostly down to the fact that the world in general is due to be cancelled on October 21st. The dear lady who passed on this insightful – and helpful – piece of information, regretably neglected to mention a specific time for the event.. However, I would assume it will probably coincide with the morning shift’s arrival at the Hadron Collider.

    Nice to know that my birthday can be spent celebrating the end of the world. All I have to worry about now, is what to drink.

  39. Hey, Joe…

    I wrote you some time ago to ask how many stars Gen. Hammond had retired at (which you never told me :-P).

    I wanted to let you know that the mug my husband made (and was able to get all 9 of the stars at D*C to sign), fetched a very respectable $375 at the Stargate Auction for the AHA. We have big plans in store for our auction piece for next year (which will be signed, also).

    The auction raised over $12,000 in Don Davis’s name. ‘Gaters rock! 🙂 (PS–I’m sorry if one of the “official” track folk has told you this already.)

  40. French kissing a mallard? Sorry Joe, can’t relate as I’ve never done that but as you obviously have 😉 I’ll take your word for it..

  41. tamijb wrote: I don’t understand why they didn’t send it to Brad Wright. It’s partly his decision to cancel the show not Paul or your’s.

    Maybe they have, but that’s what I think, too. Since I can’t send real lemons from Germany I printed lemon pictures on the letters at least. But of course never on the ones I sent to the cast or crew of SGA. It’s amazing that fans actually use this idea. 🙂

    sandy wrote: If Brad can write episodes like the Shrine, I should trust Universe will be of the same quality.

    My problem with that: Yes, The Shrine was one of the best episodes ever and very well written. But: when I imagine it would have been a SG-1 episode then for me it would just have been a good one and I don’t think I would watch it several times. What makes SGA so special for me isn’t only the writing (or the stories). It’s so much more. And the most important part is whether I’m fond of the characters and actors or not. And most of SGAs are special and unique, it’s a fantastic combination. I can’t even explain why I like a character and another similar to it not. SG-1 characters are likable and funny but not more for me. There aren’t many things in life (and on TV) which are perfect or very, very close to it. And in my opinion you can’t copy something that is just perfect. So, another problem I have with SGU.

    Haven’t seen the video yet but I don’t even want to think about eating any tongue 😉

  42. *Pulls a face*. Duck tongue? Sorry, I mean, Duc Tung? Why? Why do people actually make these things into part of a meal? I think someone’s setting you up. Maybe that’s why you didn’t get any lemons?

  43. I read ‘Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell’ when it was published in my country (france) et personnally, it was boring. I love Jane Austen, and it was original to use a style like that in a fantasy book, but certainly it doesn’t help to make 1000 pages really interesting. It happens nothing! Yes in a jane austen book too, but this was social book, not scfi/fantasy/fantastic, or anything like that. So much potential and so few good things in the end (but it’s better to love, because it’s a lot of pages to read! and I finish the book!)

  44. Okay, that has to win the weirdest food yet title. Or at least the most odd looking. But then again I thought pig’s brain WITH green tomatoes was odd.

  45. Hi again,

    sorry, could *not* watch that Duc Tung/ Duck tongue video. Is there anything you won’t eat?

    Lemons, hmmm, what fans will do when they’re desperate.

    Hey, any chance for more ‘Queen’ photos? You only have about 3 there at the moment.

  46. Sorry, Joe, but everything I can say at the moment would be this:

    “Are you my mummy?”

    That pic is brilliant! *lol*

    Oh, and I’m glad the lemons are arriving, even if it’s to the wrong person.^^

  47. When life gives you lemons…. You’ve done something wrong! Bring back SGA! That’s my philosophy. Also Duck Tongue?! Gross!

  48. Hey Joe,

    Quick question: has Teyla gone back to sparring yet?

    Because we haven’t seen anything on that front yet, you’d think she’d try to get physically fit again and then join the team, but she’s in the team while no mention of sparring has been done.

    Hope you can help me out, here…


  49. Beef tongue is very good (langue de bœuf).
    With a gherkin sauce (French one, that means piquant/spicy), or a olive sauce, or a “sauce aïoli” (garlic) or a “tartare chaud de langue, joue et queue de boeuf” (that means tongue, cheek and tail).
    Bon appétit.

  50. Hi Mr. Mallozzi 🙂

    Reeally looking forward to whispers 😀 Janina Gavankar is one of my favorite actresses so i was thrilled to see she was going to be on Atlantis

  51. How interesting. I’ve had beef tongue before and I don’t recall bones.

    I don’t think I will be enjoying “duc tung” any time soon.

  52. Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell is indeed one of the best books I’ve ever read. It was a little intimadating at first due to the size, but Neil Gaiman’s recommendation sold me on it.

    Since reading it back in 2005 I’ve put up a web site (The Friends of English Magic – http://www.foem.org.uk) about the book and Susanna Clarke’s work and am actively tracking the film which New Line have had in development since 2004 (they STILl won’t official announce the change of screenwriters despite pestering them every few months)!

    Based on your liking of JS&MN, Joseph, I’d recommend that you get a copy of The Ladies of Grace Adieu and Other Stories ASAP. You’ll love all the stories – and the ever wonderful Charles Vess illustrates. A wonderful read and very worthwhile purchase.


  53. Thanks Andy, Joe and Fans for a great Q&A

    *REALLY* Looking forward to seeing Whispers, one of my most-anticipated eps!! Thx for pix and can’t wait to see more.
    Anne Teldy, you’re gonna be a star!!

    Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, Susanna Clarke
    Thanks for the expanded opinion! It’s certainly different, I keep thinking a crossover character from a Jane Austen or Brontë book is going to appear. Biggest book I’ve read in a while, when Sheppard finishes War & Peace we should hand him these volumes to cover the next 5 years.

  54. Hi Joe…

    Wow, I’ve been ready your blog for a little while now and I have to congrat you… You are more interesting than any news paper, revue or specialized program. I just can’t miss a day of your blog anymore.

    Question (If I may): Can we expect to see more of those nice moment between Shep and McKay (like in The Shrine) before the end of the season.

    Keep up the great work you are doing…


  55. You’re really getting yourself in a snit about the whole Jewel affair Joe, and you seem to be condradicting yourself a lot now.

    So are you saying that the question that started off this little furour was just you being sarcastic. The original poster didnt seem childish or anti Keller but just asked a simple polite question, which was –

    “T writes: “There were so many wonderful performances, and some really great episodes strongly critically received in season 4, where any others submitted for consideration?”

    Answer: Noop. We only had enough money for only one submission so the producers unanimously decided to go with Jewel Staite for Missing.”

    Maybe I dont get your wit or sarcasm but I kinda took that question on face value. The question was were there any OTHERS submitted for consideration, and your answer was NOPE. Why did you feel that this poster deserved a sarcastic reply?

    But I guess we need to be more in touch with your snarky wit to realise that you didnt mean that at all, but in fact meant to say that you had indeed submitted the others but they just didnt make the cut.

  56. You know, Mr. Mallozzi, I want to come back to your comment about tv’s future lying in the internet from a while back (I’m only coming back now because I needed a professional backing up my own amateurish thoughts before stating them)… and I think you’re right.

    Lots of people commented that the needed amount of bandwith would be too great for this ever to become common occurence, but as it is… German providers most beloved baby for quite some time now is selling packages of internet flatrates and tv combined (meaning – now, attention please – tv VIA internet). All you need is either some switchboard or connecting your tv to your computer and you can surf the net, watch tv and order videos on demand via your tv.

    The reason why this works here is that Germany is one of the countries with the fastest connections and the biggest bandwiths (yes, faster and better than most connections in the US). I know that sounds like showing off, but it’s so nice knowing that just for once Germany surpasses the US in the field of technology 😀

  57. I’m not sure if I am correct in this assumption, but it seems to many a fan that Atlantis was cx to make way for Universe and I have to say the prelim. for THAT SHOW is making me a little, ahem, nervous. It sounds like stargate:voyager 90210. I hope I am wrong, I will watch it to see if it’s watchable but I have to say when Atlantis was in this stage I was way exceited and counting the days until the start of the season. I understand the strong pull from the network to pull in the 18-24 demo, but please do not forget your older *solid* fan base.

    Oh, yes, I do have a question….. do any of the actors have other roles yet? You all have such a talented cast and hopefully we will see them somewhere else soon.

  58. I’m glad you got over your trepidation at the size of JS&MN; it’s a great story that really draws you into the world.
    Ah, the first lemon. I wonder how many you guys will get. Hopefully the plastic is at least recyclable.

  59. I wanted to ask- at this point is there any point to fans “protesting” the cancellation of SGA? Could the jack be stuffed back in the box at this point? Is there even a remote possibility of them reversing their decision?

    I imagine that SciFi must be getting quite a bit of grief over it. I tried sending a message to the email address listed on the website and it bounced back.

  60. OMG! How do you do that, Joe – the whole thing at once, Holy Hanna. Wow, I almost tossed my cookies when you showed it, much less when you ate it. lol ,You are adventurous.

  61. “Like French kissing a mallard”…?

    Doesn’t this beg the question: How do YOU know what it’s like to French kiss a mallard to even draw such a comparison??

    And here I thought I was into some weird shit. 😉


  62. 1)Will there be harsh words spoken between any of the team members?

    2)Do any of the remaining episodes end on an unhappy note?

  63. For the record I did not send that lemon! Though I did buy those exact lemons at Target.

    Target(tm), where you can get 8 lemons for 5 bucks.
    Section D.
    Row number…mph-mphl

    Curious, how did this particular anonymous send their lemon? Was it in a box? I’m trying to figure out the most economical way to package the fake citrus.

    Oh, and you’re getting one. But a nice one. More like a “Thank you, look what I got you for rocking SGA! A nice fake lemon!”


    Be prepared!!!

    I guess the whole plan for anonymity sort of…sank.

    I’m not very good at being anonymous anyway. I’m much to egocentric. Me me me! Gosh darn, I love me.


    What was I doing? Oh, right. Text window, logged in as “green,” “Submit Comment” button at the button. Ooh–pretty.

  64. ROTFLMAO! French kissing a mallard! Ya know, you are a brave one. Anything that would remotely resemble a tongue would not be going in my mouth! The mind at that point would take over and say “If you put that in your mouth, you will throw up.” and there would be nothing the body/mouth could do about it to overcome that thought.

    As always, thanks for sharing! Your wife must be really tolerant of you doing all this video during lunch/dinner.

    Off to Alaska for vacation – I’ll have to play catch up when I get back!


  65. Shai writes: “So, what about those *sniff* season 6 scripts you suggested you might divulge?”

    Answer: Soon. Soon.

    Is it “soon” yet?

  66. Hey, cat4444 – we might be better off if it’s not ‘soon’ yet. Perhaps SGA will be uncancelled. The writing’s on the wall. Or, on the lemon…
    ; – D

  67. Hey Joe!

    A bone in the middle, since when do tongue’s have bones? Heh, that’s very odd, but I agree with you, I would never try that kind of food. 😛 Now, if it was breaded and fried…maybe…but that would be a long-shot.

    Less than 12 hours to go to “Whispers”, greatly looking forward to it!

    – Enzo Aquarius

  68. @ Chelle DeBoer – Yes, naming things does help. My sister is petrified of snakes (worse than me with spiders), and recently moved to Florida which is loaded with the slithering critters (it’s also the only state in the US that has all 4 poisonous snakes indigenous to the country – copperheads, cottonmouths/water moccasins, rattlesnakes and coral snakes). So she took to naming them – especially the black one that lives near her front door. She says it helps.

    Kinda like naming a Wraith makes it seem less threatening, especially when you name it Todd. 🙄 Forget sucking me dry, if anything, I’d be afraid of a ‘Todd’ attacking and giving me a perm and dye job.

    @ Shawna – Dunno who Draco is, but I’ll take your word for it. And yeah…everyone loves Kavanagh (how DO you spell his name??!) in that ‘I just wanna SMACK him!’ kinda way.

    As far as looks go…he’s just not my cuppa. But maybe if he shaved off his eyebrows… 😉


  69. I know I am really limiting food choices, but I don’t eat an animal part that they thought with, walked on, had sex with and now I am adding licked with.
    I am glad you find pleasure with the weird foods – you are more adventurous than I.
    As for books, have you read The Traveler by John Twelve Hawks?

  70. @ Das ~ glad you liked it! 😀 (I get freaked out by spiders too …)

    sandy wrote

    If Brad can write episodes like the Shrine, I should trust Universe will be of the same quality.

    For myself, that’s not even the issue. I’m not doubting Brad’s writing abilities or those of whomever is brought on board. For me, the issues are as follows:

    1) Star Trek: Voyager had great writing too, now and then, but I intensely disliked how cut off it was from the rest of the franchise. It depressed me. Why bother having something be part of a franchise if it’s going to be so disconnected? I might as well be watching another show entirely. And eventually, I did just that.

    2) Why should I get emotionally invested in a show that shows every indication of being cancelled in five years (if not sooner), in it’s prime, too, given Skiffy’s pattern? I’m starting to think I should just give up TV and stick to movies and books at this rate. Less heartbreak. Books generally have a planned ending from the beginning, so nothing happens prematurely (at least when it’s done well).

    3) I’m a little tired of TV execs doing what they want, regardless of the fandom’s wishes, and even more tired of fandom being so complacent. The execs make the show with the intent of profiting, albeit indirectly, off of us. If we don’t buy the products of the advertisers, then it doesn’t matter how good a show us: no sponsors = no show. But fans get locked into this notion that their opinion doesn’t matter because of interviews like the one that included Hart Hanson a while back. If we don’t watch, they don’t have a show, it’s that simple. We have a power that few fans seem actually willing to invoke or remind execs about — the on/off button. If *every* fan who wanted SGA to continue were to voice their opinion, not just to the execs, but to the advertisers as well, it WOULD make a difference. But too many people convince themselves that it won’t make a difference, and just give up. If a fan doesn’t fighyt for the show, then they have no right to complain when it’s gone. Sure, if only 10% of the viewership is vocal, our effectiveness is doubtful, but if 50% were to say “I won’t watch SGU unless SGA gets another season”? I don’t think Brad & Skiffy would be able to ignore that. When no one drank Coke II, when it didn’t *sell*, Coke had to being the old formula back. We are the consumers — we have a *duty* to express our dissatisfaction. Unfortunately, our protest isn’t as direct as buying/not buying, and I guess some fans don’t feel it’s worth the effort. You can bet *I* do, though. And you can’t sday it'[s already too late — Scare Tactics came back, didn’t it? SG-1 made it over to Skiffy despite Showtime not renewing it. STar Trek came back again and again, despite it inituially only lasting three seasons. Sure, this is a different scenario in some ways, but the point is never say never. Stranger things have happened. SO STOP BEING NEGATIVE, people!! If you want the show to go on, it’s not going to kill you to make an effort, but it sure as hell can kill the show if you don’t. Stop acting like SGA has already been buried. Even if SGU continues, of the ratings are bad and people are still fighting at that time for SGA, next summer, no matter how small the chance it’s still *possible* for SGA to be renewed, even *then*. 1% still means it’s possible. hoewver unlikely. Hold on to that.

    If you don’t fight, then TV execs wil continue to give us what THEY want, rather than what WE want. That’s like going to a restaurant and settling for what the cook decides to give you, rather than what you ordered. If you’re fine with that, then good for you, but if you’re not, then stand up for yourself and your position as a consumer, already!

  71. “French kissing a Mallard”!!

    Oh man, I was already in stitches catching up with the last few days of blogs… sorry, been busy. I’ve been chuckling for an hour here, between your backyard “crack open the Hedgehog” fruit thing…. LOL and making every answer in your mailbag about Keller…. that was great.

    But then the Duc Tung…. wow.

    Thanks alot for the great hour of chuckles cuz I really needed it. LOLOL!!

    Keep up the great work. And those were great pics of Jewel hamming it up.

    Great Q&A with Andy Mikita! I wish I had been around in time to submit a question but his responses were awesome. Thanks for giving us a forum to interact so much with everyone, Joe.

    – JS

  72. Oh yeah, by the way…… Paul wasnt supposed to get any lemons. LOLOL

    I think someone got over exuberant. LOLOL… those are supposed to be going to MGM and Sci Fi…. I think.

    *looks worried*

    Just tell Paul it was a misdirected lemon LOLOL and feel pride that the fans aren’t sitting back quietly simply waiting for the inevitable. Like Ronon “we’re not real good at sitting still”.

    Thanks for five great years… but we really reeeeeeeally wish for one more.

    – JS

  73. Agree with a few others regard beef tongue which is not bad. I was quite surprised when you discovered a bone in your sample. This WFPoD seems kinda icky…so, this is something I won’t be trying anytime soon.

    Preparing for tonight’s episode with our Anne Teldy.
    Counting down for Whispers.

  74. Hi again Mr M!

    Lovin’ the whole WFP clips…. very good! How goes EATG?Has shooting started or are you guys still in prep? Will Miss Tapping appear? Any other inside bits you can share? Thanks!

    I’ll be off line for a day or two, so in case I miss the question gathering for Mr Waring, may I submit a couple now?:

    (i) Can I ask you the pineapple question? Including both SG1 and SGA, how many episodes have had pineapples appear in the background as an innocent prop? I think the story is that you had to drive a car through a scene at the start of your career and a pineapple rolled around the back windscreen and since then you have tried to incorporate a pineapple in every epiosde you direct…Is this true? Anyway, curious to know if you have kept count of the pineapples.

    (ii) What for you as a director is the most fun part of your job? and also the reverse…what is the least fun part of the job?

    Thank you for taking the time to read (and answer) the questions…. I too also love the audio commentaries you take part in for the DVD box sets…. Your insights into what happened on set really bring the episode to a real context..Many thanks for this and (as always) please keep up the good work!


  75. Question about “Whispers” . . . might that be Christina Cox that we got a little glimpse of in the preview?

    BTW . . . this Nisei Girl will let you keep the Duc Tung . . . she doesn’t want it! ;o)

    Hope you’re doing well!


    Disregard my duplicate post on the previous days’ entry. I wasn’t paying attention. :o)

  76. Hi Joe

    I read your Blog for some months now and post my first comment/question ever…
    I got the Idea of writing after having dreamt of visiting you in the studios. In this

    dream i got one of the costumes because it was of no use anymore (the character died some

    episodes ago).

    Now my question (i don’t know whether it was already asked by someone else):
    Is there any chance of really getting one of the costumes – especially now, that Atlantis

    has been cancelled *sniff* – and if yes, who would be the one i have to turn to?
    I really love Ara’s outfit and it would be a wonderful remembrance of five wonderful


    Greets from Germany 🙂

  77. This is a question for all the Stargate bloggers out there. Do you have a problem with people quoting your blog or using pictures from it on discussion forums? Do you consider it in anyway stealing, or are you cool with it?

  78. silver_comet wrote: My problem with that: Yes, The Shrine was one of the best episodes ever and very well written. But: when I imagine it would have been a SG-1 episode then for me it would just have been a good one and I don’t think I would watch it several times. What makes SGA so special for me isn’t only the writing (or the stories). It’s so much more. And the most important part is whether I’m fond of the characters and actors or not. And most of SGAs are special and unique, it’s a fantastic combination. I can’t even explain why I like a character and another similar to it not. SG-1 characters are likable and funny but not more for me. There aren’t many things in life (and on TV) which are perfect or very, very close to it. And in my opinion you can’t copy something that is just perfect. So, another problem I have with SGU.

    I totally agree with you. There is something more with SGA than there was with SG1. I’ve been a part of Stargate Franchise almost since the beginning and followed the series into SGA. but I have to say I love SGA more. I’m glad some else agrees with me.

  79. my brother is now addicted to the WFPotD or what he calls; “that guy’s blog.” while you were chewing the duck tongue he was going; “quack, quack, quack, quack!” LOL!
    when you said; “it’s like french kissing a mallard. i wouldn’t recommend it.” i commented; “what? eating the duck tongue or french kissing a mallard?” LMAO!

    and maybe to keep the wrong people from being buried under a pile of plastic lemons, you can direct those fans on who they should send them to?

  80. “drldeboer:

    Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, Susanna Clarke
    Thanks for the expanded opinion! It’s certainly different, I keep thinking a crossover character from a Jane Austen or Brontë book is going to appear.

    Two Jane Austen characters do appear in JS & MN! They are not named, but there’s a scene that is meant to refer to Mansfield Park’s Maria Bertram and Mrs. Norris living in seclusion. 🙂

    If you liked the fantasy/history/humor mix of JS & MN, I would highly recommend To Say Nothing of the Dog by Connie Willis. Time travel, comedy of manners, World War II, Napoleon, ghosts, mystery, and a bishop’s bird stump, to say nothing of the dog (and cat) 😉

  81. Mr M please delete my previous post. Try to insert blank space, didn’t quite work

    Fellow Posters

    I think the weirdest food that Mr M can eat is….

    > (spoiler space begins)
    > (spoiler space ends)

    … a whole serving of salad. Mr M will try out meat dishes of any description. But no greens? That’s not healthy.

  82. Randy wrote:

    This is a question for all the Stargate bloggers out there. Do you have a problem with people quoting your blog or using pictures from it on discussion forums? Do you consider it in anyway stealing, or are you cool with it?

    Personally, I’d rather someone ask me first and explain the reason for quoting me and where my blog entries or forum comments would be posted before using my words.

    I don’t mind people quoting my comments when they post here because, if necessary, I can clarify what I mean, defend my opinion, etc. However, if someone were to use my comments or blog entries elsewhere without my knowledge, I couldn’t explain myself if necessary. And they could use my words, twist their meaning, to support something I don’t believe in and me none the wiser.

    I say everyone’s policy should be ask first.

    Anne Teldy

  83. Hey Joe, guess what?! I’ll be spending June in ROME with my Latin 2 class. So by the time I leave, ill have my new laptop with me and I’ll be making regular video updates while I’m there. I was wondering if you wanted to post them with your other videos. It’ll be a once in a lifetime tour of Rome from the eyes of the ultimate Geek tourist.

  84. I’ve got to say, I’m loving all the team aspects of season five, this has been extraordinary season of character exploration and want makes this show stand out. I was reading something today that really got me thinking.

    In season five so far we’ve had Teyla in S&R in her cell being rescued and the first words out her mouth were –she knew John would come for her. In “Broken Ties” one of the first people Ronon calls for is Sheppard. And in The Shrine, lost out of his mind, Rodney sought out John and sought him out in a time of need.

    Will there be anything in Season five where The Team is there for Sheppard in some moment of peril? Or a moment in a rare form of reversal, Sheppard realizes the need for his team and they are there to show it?

    That would make for a satisfying cycle to have the team be there for Sheppard as many times they’ve needed him. Will there be anything like this?

  85. *waves*

    For those wanting to see Itsy aka La machine aka La Princess. 😆 Here’s some BBC footage. I’ll post my own once i’ve uploaded it which will probably be tomorrow due to my technological ineptness. Das you may not want to look.


    Suffice to say it absolutely poured down and I ended up looking like a drowned rat, which is so not a good look for me. 😛

    But it was absolutely brilliant, we have chinese firecrackers, pyrotechnics, we had her sung to sleep, and snow machines to calm her down from the fires. Then when she got pissed off with the scientists hosing her down, she turned the water onto the audience… like we weren’t wet enough allready. 😆



  86. Hey Joe…..I hope you don’t mind but I’m a little confused…You said on an earlier blog a while ago that Teyla fans would enjoy The shrine….I don’t understand why you would have thought that.Teyla was practically invisible in this episode?

    Will Teyla only be prominent in 2 more episodes this season,the queen and prodigal.Does that mean she’ll be in the background for the rest of the season?

  87. LEMONS are to be sent to mgm and sci fi especially to MR HOWE yup my letters and lemons were sent to them and mr howe.

  88. I can’t believe it, but I’m actually looking forward to Whispers tonight. I rolled my eyes when I heard of the all-female team and had my doubts that you would allow them to behave in a professional, military manner. I have to say, the previews look pretty good.

    I’m looking forward to a good old action piece with John and Carson and no Keller, Mckay or Keller/McKay romance in sight. The Shrine was a bit agonizing for me to watch. I’ve long ago lost interest in yet another very special McKay episode and throwing in a large helping of Keller in love pretty much guaranteed that would not be an episode for me.

    Here’s hoping Whispers turns out to be a favorite. I can’t help but wish though that the whole team could be together. Are we going to get many more team episodes (Sheppard, Ronon, Teyla, McKay) or is it going to be more like last season with the team split up or half the members missing for many of the shows? I really miss the team working together.

  89. Hey Joe,

    Sooo… I have french kissed Sebastian. Seriously! Jeremy and I had been on a trip for 9 days… the longest we’d been away from our first born son. And while my mom, dad, and Allie kept him company, it was really ME Sebastian missed the most. Sebastian NEVER EVER licked. Ever. Not even my little toe as he walked by. Not. A. Licker.

    So it was no biggie for me to get down at his level and yell out a huge “HEEELLLOOOOO!” But I only got to “HEEE—” and that boy just jammed his long dog tongue down my throat! 😯 It’s one of my most disgusting moments in my life. BTW, great pyr tongues are huge. I’m just sayin’… Anyway, Jeremy missed it and had no clue as to why I was literally choking and gagging and rolling on the floor yelling, “Ack! Ag! Ick! HEEELP!” After I’d run to the bathroom Ace Ventura style and brushed my teeth, mouth, and throat with half a tube of Crest, I broke the news to him.

    True story. Is it any wonder I refuse to eat any menu item with *tongue* in the name? *shudder*

    @Das: I can watch shows on insects. I can admire their beauty. And they better not be found on my body or in my house otherwise I will freak. Praying mantis bugs are cool and don’t freak me out. And when Allie was about 4 she came into the house with a walking stick! It was totally cool! I walked her outside and made sure we placed the little guy in the safest place for him. Allie kept asking how I made the stick turn alive. 😆 I don’t know if she ever believed it was an actual bug for real. That was back when she looked at me and Jeremy as GODS and thought we could do anything. Now she’s 14 and… well… ya know the end of THAT story. 🙄

    @Wolfie: Is it Monday yet? I’ve made wedding cake layers on top of wedding cake layers (well I helped my mom and Colleen) and I’ve taken Jessie and Barbara all over my mall and FINALLY found shoes for Erin to wear. Then I spent a fortune on things for my hair and have told Jeremy his birthday and Christmas shopping is done for me.

    Seriously… Is it Monday yet? *sigh*


  90. I got a lovely surprise today. All four seasons of SGA showed up in my mailbox. A spectacular birthday present from my dad.

    Btw, I’m saving up my blog shout out request for when I pass my quals (if that is alright).

    Love the video, I didn’t think that it would look quite so much like a tongue. Usually they disguise those sort of things to look like food.

  91. @Trish ~ I’m thinking Alice hopes not — that makes her surgery day that much closer. ;D Here’s to hoping that tooth stays gone this time — and that the x-rays don’t show any *other* teeth problems ….

    While she still has that (now wickedly long) bottom tooth, she’s trying to yank my “Save Atlantis” jelly-bracelet off of my wrist. *snicker* She wants one too! 😀

    BTW, Trish, have I told you lately how awesome you are??? Seriously, I wi8sh I could help with the wedding so it would be less stress for you; it’s super-sweet of you to help me out with everything else you have going on this week. Even if we *did* have bus service out here, there’s no way they would let me take a rabbit out to Maitland on it … ALL BOW BEFORE THE BRILLIANCE THAT IS TRISH!!

  92. @ Huntress Diana: Yes, that is Christina Cox. -nods- A friend of mine on Gateworld is looking forward to tonight’s episode very much because of her. Me, not so much. Might give it a shot anyway.

    @ Sachi: Which part was that? I don’t recall it, I’ll have to give my copy another look.

    @ Cheeky Lil Devil: THANK YOU!!!

    @ Trish: Ow, I laughed so hard at the Sebastian story that now I’ve got a headache…

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