Fortune Garden prawn in house sauce

Pan-fried eel with yellow chives

Mid-season gauntlet design

My former well transformed into a stove transformed back into a well

Back into the fog tent


Major Hollywood Star Attacked by Rabid Turtles?!! Really?! No, not really. I’m just doing a little social experiment here. I’ve noticed that a number of the blogs in WordPress’s daily Top 25 boast inventive, garish, occasionally salacious, tabloid-like headlines clearly designed to lure gullible rubes (such as myself) in search of this week’s Paris Runway Model Catfight Video or the latest on the Former Child Actor Weds Siamese Sherpas front. Always, I am left disappointed and Paris Runway Model Catfight Videoless. But after clicking on your fifth or sixth Things Upper Middle-Class People Don’t Particularly Mind blog or American Idol Contestant’s Secret Toad Diet write-up, you wizen up to the fact that, hey, maybe this is something that could work for me. May be! So Major Hollywood Star Attacked by Rabid Turtles it is. If I see a significant jump in traffic here, I’ll be following up with one of the following:

1. Grass Roots Movement Killed by Spraying with Glyphosate.

2. Man Wills Fortune to Dog. Dog Blows it all on Coke and Whores.

3. Archdiocese Spearheads Campaign for Itinerant Hamsters.

4. Drunken Monkey Acquitted in Hit and Run Death of Local Man.

5. Ballroom Dancing Linked to Mad Cow Disease.

6. Blackbelt Pope To Take On All Comers.

7. Celebrity Plumber Confidential.

8. Major Retailer Recalls Combustible Underpants.

9. Remains of Professional Golfer Found on the Moon.

10. Paris Runway Model Catfight Video.

Let me know which one works best for you guys.

Hey, a rousing start to this month’s BOTMC discussions. I’m sure Joe Abercrombie (or the highly evolved gorilla butler he has trained to monitor your comments and convey them to him via sign language) is thrilled by the response so far. Get your questions in early because I’ll be sending them his way late Wednesday.

Back at the office today. Watched a director’s cut of The Queen and a Day 1 mix of The Seed, dropped by stage 2 where Will was shooting the inserts and missing shots for Whispers, had Bob Picardo drop by the office to say hi and bye enroute to his convention in Italy, chatted with a familiar face from the SG-1 past at the lunch line, beat out the tease and first two acts of the tentatively titled Remnants, exchanged emails with Lou Anders who is in Hong Kong, SFSignal’s John DeNardo who was kind enough to put the word out regarding the upcoming Book of the Month Club guest authors, and authors Jeffrey Ford and F. Paul Wilson who wrote very nice things about the time they spent with us.

Today’s video: The dogs had a friend over last night – Ritzi the Porky (Pekinese-Yorky cross). Lulu was doing the usual showing off, running around like a lunatic, and eating grass. I warned her not to eat the grass. She ignored me. Twice. Then ran around like crazy before stopping – and vomiting. Turn up the sound to hear the closing “CHUKAGWARRA“.¤t=Luludonteatthegrass.flv

Today’s blog is dedicated to Cathain. Get your internet fixed!

Mailbag –

Trish writes: “Any chance of the team finding a creature on one of the planets that’s pet material? I’m picturing a florescent green Bubba-esque animal that just *hangs out* all day. Or perhaps a polka-dotted Maximus-ish critter?”

Answer: This is the perfect opportunity to finally introduce that telepathic pug I’ve been pitching.

Dyginc writes: “If I was writing a review that would appear in EW or the Times I would say something along these lines…”

Answer: Hey, that’s quite good! I think Joe has found himself a new publicist.

Alipeeps writes: “I haven’t joined in much with the chat on here in recent months with all that’s been going on in real life but I still read every day…”

Answer: Well, know that we (and many others I’m sure) are thinking of you.

Scarym writes: “Now that you have had a change of heart on Fantasy, would you consider Guy Gavriel Kay?”

Answer: Sure.

Thornyrose writes: “No character (except perhaps Major West) comes off as totally admirable or likable.”

Answer: That’s interesting because of all the characters introduced, I found West the least engaging and, now that you mention it, it could well be the fact that everyone else possesses a dark side of some sort. Of course by book’s end, West’s character takes his own dark turn that, again interestingly enough, I found less forgivable than the actions of Logen Ninefingers or even Glokta. It wasn’t until Before They Are Hanged that I actually began to like the character.

Thornyrose also writes: “First, this review is being done by memory, since the gremlins seem to have made off with my copy of The Blade Itself. […] This is a 9.3 out of 10 on my scale, with no serious flaws from my perspective.”

Answer: Only a 9.3? Joe will be crushed.

MizMoose writes: “Lastly, other people’s comments (along with my [still :)] wondering about Fondy’s name origin) make me say yet again, Mr. M., you need a FAQ :-).”

Answer: Believe it or not, it’s simply what her mother named her. My mother-in-law has no further explanation.

Fsmn36 writes: “I think you’re cheating by posting your already-posted initial reactions only. No new thoughts?”

Answer: My opinion of the first book in the series is greatly colored by what follows and I was trying remain on track. The magical elements, for instance, were my least favorite aspect of the The Blade Itself on my first reading but, knowing what I know now, it’s an element I very much enjoyed on my second reading. The same goes for Logen who I failed to warm up to initially but who, over the course of the series, demonstrates a depth and personal discord that makes him one of the most fascinating characters in the series.

Dennis Pickersgill writes: “Ay chance you could find out if a winner has been picked
for the super fan commercial?”

Answer: Yep. That’s him in the crash helmet.

Emily writes: “However, your high praise of the book coupled with the absolutely GORGEOUS cover (yes, I admit to judging a book by its cover) won me over.”

Answer: Hate to say it, but that’s what make me pick up the book.

Emily also writes: “Think this would make a good movie? Or are there too many separate parts that the narrative wouldn’t lend itself well to the big screen?”

Answer: I think the series would make a great movie. But it would be $$$!

Michael writes: “Thanks for the invite. Sorry I missed you, too. I’d love to do an interview sometime.”

Answer: Sure. Anytime.

Das writes: “Since the cloning facility apparently wasn’t totally destroyed, will it ever be used again, perhaps as a means for creating a food supply for the Wraith?”

Answer: Alas, it was totally destroyed. But the question is: Was there only the one?

Anais33 a ecrit: “1) A l’excéption Teyla personne de va devenir Papa ou Mamamn dans cette nouvelle saison? 2)Dans cette saison 5 y’aura t’il une scéne qui rendra les téléspectateurs très triste, comme une mort ?”

Reponses: 1) Non. 2) Peut-etre.

Translations: 1) No other character will become a parent in season 5. 2) Will there be a scene this year that will make viewers sad like, for instance, a death? Maybe.

The Fez writes: “I thought you said that the 100th episode? What’s up with the Replicators and Las Vegas?”

Answer: Replicators?

a. loquita writes: “I noticed in yesterday’s pictures that there is a large dumpster to the left of the Stargate. Then there is a trailer right next to it. Which poor actor has their trailer right next to a dumpster?!?!”

Answer: That’s the extras trailer. Ah, show business.

Laina Babaina writes: “So when the Big Heads sit down to write a script for a show, do you guys end up writting complete nonsense? Or is it all strictly buisness with you guys?”

Answer: Oh, it’s always nonsense.

Fran writes: “ When our “boys” go on these “Missions” and we see them opening up Power Bars are these the real things that you see in stores or are they made by those “Geniuses” in the “Prop Department?”

Answer: Nope. They’re real power bars. Protein Edge, cookies and cream flavor. 230 calories, 6 grams of fat, 7 grams of carbohydrates, only 1 gram of sugar, and an impressive 26 grams of protein.

Leesa writes: “Joe – you might be vaguely interested in this news report about a burger in New York that costs $175!”

Answer: I’m on board with everything but the gold leaf, a flavorless addition that only serves to jack up the price.

Dyginc writes: “I loved his two Practicals…I hope to see more of them in the next two books.”

Answer: A lot more on them in the ensuing books.

Gracey writes: “Hi ya’ haven’t posted in awhile..was just curious. I know Vancouver has become pretty busy with tv productions. Do you all get to know other people from other productions?”

Answer: Not really.

Kay writes: “Speaking of Teyla, are there any episodes or adventures that she will be cut out of due to childcare issues.”

Answer: Nope.

Elizabeth writes: “Is Woolsey going to find some courage in season 5?”

Answer: Woolsey has developed quite nicely over the course of the show’s fifth season.

89 thoughts on “May 20, 2008: Major Hollywood Star Attacked by Rabid Turtles

  1. so was in surrey today for lunch, which turned out rather blahish. We were ‘treated’ to the Cactus Country Cafe ich! The bathroom was quite the adventure though.

    So my QOTD- did the baron receive the email i sent him, and if so did he get a kick out of the attached extra?

  2. Hey Joe…any chance that Ford will show up in season 5?

    Also, this isn’t Stargate related but…

    I heard someone make reference to that man who is pregnant today…what are your thoughts/opinion on this?

    (If you’re that man, and your reading this…no effents!)

    Thanks Joe.

    Oh, did you get a chance to see Rob Picardo on the Smallville season finale last night?

  3. LOL @ potential blog titles! Let us know how that goes.

    Q: Are youse guys filming the mid season parter yet? Any chance of pictures? – bats eyelashes (dose that help?)

    Hehe, grass must be tasty in Canada.

  4. Mister Mallozzi: Are there any sweet Carson/Teyla scenes coming up? They are my favourite pairing and any scenes between the two will be greatly appreciated by this little lemming.

  5. Wait just a minute there…

    Remnants? I thought Marty Gero was writing the Very Special Atlantis episode. So have you just taken that name and applied it to his pitch (that which you’re now writing) as well?

    I realize that I have no business trying to force these kinds of specific, behind the scenes info out of you, but I gots me to try, you know? 😉

    As I understand it…

    Episode 15 = Marty’s pitch, but you’re writing it. You’ve now named it Remnants.
    Episode 16 = Very Special Atlantis Episode, Marty’s writing it (and directing it). You also named it Remnants back when you were scheduled to write it.

    Is that right?

    To condense it down. Have you switched stories, or only the placement of those stories in the schedule?

  6. G’day Joe
    At least Lulu was outside, when she vomited. Hence, no cleaning up the mess.
    My cat poos in the house every night, have to do the poo run every morning.


  7. That video was hilarious.

    “Lulu, don’t eat the grass.” Said authoritatively as if she can understand. Dog continues to eat grass (go figure):

    “Lu-lu!” [WHAT did I just tell you??]

    Vomit. Hehe. They just never listen, do they? Kids.

    This vomit video reminds me of a recent blog post in a blog I find humorous: You Are Dumb/Keep It Down. Apparently, a show is in the works that pretty much just entails you waiting for someone to vomit…and actually viewing it in action. I can’t think of anything more disgusting. Ok, I can, but this is pretty far up there. Apparently, there’s a demographic for this… I also particularly enjoyed the May 12th entry.

  8. Hey Joe!

    Did you get any warning that your well would become a stove only to become a well again? Or are they simply shocking you with the sudden transformation as you make your way down to the kraft services table? Maybe when the season’s done you can take it home and convert it into a puppy-playpen?

    And I think those gauntlets would look awesome with the rest of my mototcycle gear… 😛 Perhaps you could market them as such? 🙂 An SGA bike gang?


  9. Robert Picardo is very distinguished-looking in that picture—very handsome! I crushed on him in China Beach too. I’m happy that he’s joining the cast, but are we still going to see Mitch Pileggi from time to time?

  10. I think I’ll vote for number 9: “Remains of Professional Golfer Found on the Moon”. Obviously he was there for the challenge of zero gravity golf and those moondust traps.. but why did he die?

    I would be tracking down the man’s caddie. Or perhaps his inept PA forgot to book a return shuttle or he didn’t check in on time. “I’m sorry Sir, the gate has closed and boarding is no longer possible. We can arrange a flight for you in say.. 5yrs.”

  11. There was an episode in season three when Woolsey and Caldwell were chatting on the inner balcony thing in Atlantis. Woolsey was peeling an orange. I’ve always wondered why he didn’t offer a piece to Caldwell. It could’ve been the first step towards creating the Bald Men’s Support Group of Atlantis. Any thoughts on this? Any chance that Woolsey will get to bond with Caldwell some more in season five?

  12. I admit, I might…let’s face it, would probably click on the Celebrity Plumber Confidential. Especially if they were disclosing odd things what might have come up out of their drain.

  13. As usual, nice pictures. And I rather enjoyed the propposed headlines. The heck with an increase in hits on the site. Use them anyways.
    Only scored 1/3 on the next round of the BotM club selections, though I have the other two on order. And if Mr. Abercrombie is upset by my score of 9.3 on his book (as a reference, Rising 1/2= 9.0, and I think the highest I rated any episode of SGA was 9.6) he can take some consolation that not only did I order Before We are Hanged, but I actually bought a copy at the second bookstore on my rounds today. The extra 25 pence in royalties should provide some comfort to him..
    With the sight and sound of Lulu barfing to serve as a lullaby, I wish you and all the gentle readers a good night.

  14. Well, with the finale of “Dancing with the Stars” tonight, #5 (Ballroom Dancing Linked to Mad Cow Disease) is quite timely…not that I watch that stuff…okay I did , but it was a really slow night on TV. Probably should’ve watched my Atlantis DVDs instead. 😉

  15. Sorry haven’t posted in a while but have had some pretty hard times with my mom’s brain tumor’s causing her severe seizures and me having to call 911 (if only insurance were available to everybody) plus I was hoping she’d only have to go through one brain surgery but it’s been ten years and it’s looking like one more, although I don’t think she’ll do it again. Then my cat’s keep getting stung by bee’s and their faces are swelling to twice the size of their heads. The mail lost two of my mortgage payments and oh so much more. although I’m sure you’re not tired of my asking the same darn Shep whump questions, but hey I’m nothing if not persistent. I try to read at least portions of your blog everyday, but someday’s my minds just to busy. When it rains it seems to pour!

    1.) Your killing me here, any news on when the Shep whump ep will be? I’d sure love some tid bits as to what it may consist of? Sheppard’s my favorite character and those are my favorite episodes.
    2.) I don’t mean to be smug but carbs are sugars as well, they are just complex carbohydrates. I’m Diabetic and have been since I was 14, so for 14 years. Nobody tells people that, especially the newly Diabetic but your power bars actually have 8 grams of sugar. 1 gram simple table sugar that hit’s your system quick and hard and 7 grams that sticks with you and sneaks up later, elevating your blood sugars and maintaining them longer. 🙂
    3.)Is Jason M. really only 2 inches taller than Joe F.?
    4.)Where can fan’s go to let the network and MGM know that we want another season of SGA. Is there an email address or a site, anything to show our support?
    Thanks for posting, hope to hear the answers, thanks again. Nicole.

  16. Das writes: “Since the cloning facility apparently wasn’t totally destroyed, will it ever be used again, perhaps as a means for creating a food supply for the Wraith?”

    Answer: Alas, it was totally destroyed. But the question is: Was there only the one?

    Ooooooo… *the mind reels*

    Thanks, Joe…yer the bestest…unless….

    2) Will there be a scene this year that will make viewers sad like, for instance, a death? Maybe.

    It better not be Todd!!!! 😡

    Yeah, yeah…I’m panicking again…it’s what I do. 😛 But imagine it from were we poor Wraith fans stand…just when we start getting attached to a guy, he’s blown away (or…poisoned). It’s depressing. And then there’s the queens…despite Andee’s wonderful performances, I’m afraid to warm to any of her characters because I know they’ll be dead by episode’s end. I mean…here we are, a buncha rabid SGA fans in ‘love’ with all the dead characters.

    Kinda creepy when you think about it…


  17. My personnal favorite:

    Ballroom Dancing Linked to Mad Cow Disease.

    People tend to become vampires attracted to blood when they hear “Mad Cow Disease”.

    As for your Well, is it common to see props being transformed back and forth or can the set designers/prop people not make up their mind on this one?

    Who is the owner of that fine gauntlet?

  18. Hey Joe!

    Now Lulu is puking? Better buy some doggie barf bags. 🙂

    Continuing from my notes in regards to the “Fan Expo Canada” convention in Toronto, as it occurs in August, I am going to go out on a limb and guess that you folks will still be busy wrapping up the final episodes (maybe even your’s? Since you said you’ll have the first draft in by June). This may be something to contemplate for next year, but do note that this event brings out MANY people, and attendance is usually around 40000 people. 😉

    The other convention in Toronto, “Polaris” (AKA Toronto Trek) is in July, so that’s way too soon probably anyways for your schedule. 😛 Although, Cliff Simon and Rachel Luttrell will be there (though I surmise you probably know of her attendance there already, heh).

    Thanks as always!

    – Enzo Aquarius

  19. Hey Joe,

    This is inspired by Fran’s question about power bars. Sometimes there are dining scenes. Do the actors end up eating a lot in those when you have to do several takes? Or do they pretend to eat?

    How are the dogs doing? Now that the sun is out more, they do find ‘hot spots’ in the backyard and heat up and then cool down in the shade?

  20. Alipeeps: I am so sorry for your loss. Please let us know if we can be of any help. Hugs and best wishes.

    The Blade Itself:

    I’ve been trying since last week (when I finished the book) to get my thoughts about the novel down, but I just can’t seem to be very coherent these days. I apologize.

    For the most part, I agree with the previously posted comments. The characters were well drawn with one exception, Ardee West. Since there wasn’t another female character in Adua with whom to compare and contrast her, we were left with Luthar’s take on Ardee which I found less than adequate and more than suspect. Perhaps it will be covered in the next two books, but I was also disappointed we weren’t shown more of the motivations for why she chose to be the way she was depicted.

    That said, I was surprised to find myself eagerly reading to see what next would happen to a bunch of characters who, for the most part, I disliked. That’s definitely a first for me as I usually need to have some kind of connection to at least one of them to enjoy a book.

    Overall, well done, Mr. Abercrombie. I’ve ordered the next in the series and am happily anticipating it.

    Anne Teldy

  21. Im asking again, I know what your thinking “Damn those aussies, wont leave me alone!” XD
    Can we see an atlantis personnel walk past with the aussie- flag on the shoulder pad?

  22. Hmmmm, choices, choices…
    I think I like Major Retailer Recalls Combustible Underpants as a real grabber…pun intended.

    Had to order Joe Abercrombie’s second book to discover what happens next.

    And, we thought only on TV would there be “cliff hangers” or the “conclusion next week,” anguish.

  23. Hey Joe! Haven’t been in for a while having just moved house for the first time in 16 years. Love the pooches and sympathize with the grass eating…our pup Bill likes to nibble on it himself occasionally! but he’s only four months old and 3 times the size of Lulu (Bill’s an English Mastiff cross Bull Mastiff/Arab Dane…big puppy weighing in at 20kg already!) Have you always been a fan of small dogs, Pugs in particular or have you ever wanted to own a big dog?? If so, what breed?
    Thank you Joe…have a great day! ~ chelle db

  24. I think I really like #4 “Drunken Monkey Acquitted in Hit and Run Death of Local Man.” However if you were going to be here in Bishop over this weekend, just change monkey to mule and it could happen. We’re having our biggest celebration of the year here in Bishop, CA, Mule Days. Yes I grew up in the “Mule Capital of the World.” Pathetic I know. The mountains are beautiful to look at at least. We do have a local joke that sums up the week perfectly. “Mule Days welcomes asses and their mules.” Please enjoy Vancouver for me since I have to watch our population go from 5,000 people to somewhere around 30,000 in the matter of two days. Where they all fit I don’t know. I’ve managed to survive 25 Mule Days celebrations, I think I’ll survive this one. I’ll keep you up-to-date on any drunken mule incidents.

  25. I can definitely empathize with the problem of up-chucking pooches. I have a dog and a cat who both sleep on the bed. Or rather, the cat does when she’s not miffed at me about something. Anyhoo…I’d rather be awakened by the up-chuck, or fur-ball hackey, at the foor of the bed than start the day with stepping one foot out of bed and straight into cold you-know-what. Yup! That’s what started my day yesterday.

    If you ever visit Florida, be sure to stay away from any brackish water. We have some pre-historic looking turtles here called alligator snapping turtles. They aren’t rabid, but it truly doesn’t matter how small you find one, as they come out of the shell just plain mean and trying to bite! Tell Paul he should be glad no one sent him one or two of those!

  26. Is that your oven-turned-well in the fourth picture? Hmmmm interesting titles, let me think. I think you should go with this one: 4. Drunken Monkey Acquitted in Hit and Run Death of Local Man.

    Well, I got nothing much to say today… How’s the writing going for your ep? I forget which number it is, or what it’s called, even though you mightn’t have said it but my memory sucks… Have a nice day!


  27. Hi again Mr M!

    Greetings from Tipperary!

    Yes, indeed those headlines are very witty. It reminds me of two stories that ran here in Ireland a couple of years back. One featured a missing policeman (who had just failed to check in and gone on holiday and subsequently checked in!!) and the other was a criminal case involving the theft of a large safe. Anyway, the headline writer for one of the nationals ran the two stories side by side, and placed the following headline over the criminal case : POLICEMAN FOUND SAFE UNDER BED
    Needless to say red faces all round when the unintended joke was printed! The title actually featured the word “Garda” which is the gaelic word for policeman (that’s what we call the force here)

    Have started some BOTM for June!


  28. So, I haven’t quite finished The Blade Itself, thanks to working all hours of the day and night. I am about two thirds the way through and thoroughly enjoying the story so far.

    I like the multi-POV view of events and places. Glokta hates the stairs in his white city, but it is home. Ardee is lonely in the city, and wants to go back to her home, but can’t because of her brother’s protectiveness…and his ambition. And Logen finds the city too crowded, too full of people and smells.

    Glokta is a very interesting character — not my favourite, and I can’t say I like him very much. But that someone who knows so intimately what it means to live, day in, day out, in agony can then turn around and deliberately torture others…ouch. I’ve been trying to decide if his pain is part of the reason Glokta chose his new profession — if he’s in pain, why shouldn’t everybody else be? His seeming kindness when he talks to the people he’s about to torture, his understanding and pseudo-sympathy, make the torture even worse in a way — because Glokta knows exactly what it means to be in agony, and the effects his actions will have on his victims. Everything he does is calculated; Glokta is not a sick psychopath out for personal kicks. To me, that just makes what Glokta does even more chilling.

    I think my favourite character is Logen. I like the idea of a man who is very good at killing, but who doesn’t like being so very good at what he does. When Logen dispatches the thieves he meets while on the road with Malacus, he does so efficiently and with ease, but not with pleasure. And when he is hurt, his attitude of, “Oh, yay, another scar to add to the collection,” and general disinterest towards his physical appearance makes a nice contrast with Jezal, for whom appearance and social standing is everything.

    Anyway, as I say, not finished yet, but this is a wonderfully engaging story, and I think I’m going to need to find book two very soon.

  29. Is it true that on breaks the people of Stargate and the people of Smallville have a little battle of the shows on the Bridge Studios lot?

    I think I remember hearing about it in a special about one of those 2 shows

    And, What else is being filmed there besides Atlantis and Smallville?… Studio sounds biiiiiig.

  30. The dogs had a friend over last night – Ritzi the Porky (Pekinese-Yorky cross).

    Are they ever going to stop with these ridiculous hybrid names for crossbreeds? When I first got my mutt he was just a little mongrel but now apparently he’s called a Springador (Springer Spaniel/Labrador cross) and to think, no one wanted him because he was the only puppy that couldn’t pass for a pure bred Labrador.

    Quick question, from what I’ve read episodes 19 & 20 seem to be connected, is it a loose connection or are they a more traditional two-parter?

  31. Hi Joe,

    Love the doggie vid! How cute! The pic’s are great! Great pic of Robert Picardo! He is awesome!

    It’s about time the turtles gave some back!

    Take care & happiness always!


  32. Shoulda named Lulu RRAAAALLLPPHHHH!!!

    Hey ever consider doing an episode of Atlantis using the names of your babies for characters?

    You could have Lulu, grass eating Goddess of M4554, Bubba the warrior flatulant of M3457 or Jelly, pawn shop shark of M999?

    I’d love to hear your dogs’ names in the show 😉

  33. Y’know, that $175 burger sounds delicious, except for the foie gras and gold. But I am all for Kobe beef, aged Gruyere and the mushrooms.


    And poor Lulu. It’s always hard to be sick when you have friends come over.

  34. I have to admit that I saw your title and thought we would be regaled with a tale of Paul McGillion being attacked by the rabid stunt turtles you brought in to play his wee pets. I’m a little disappointed. Mind you, I don’t want to see Paul hurt but it would be hilarious. I have to appease my sadistic humor with vomiting dogs.

    I got “The Etched City” yesterday! It should be a nice distraction at the crystallographers conference.

  35. I’m a big fan of StarGate: Atlantis. I just read your
    blogs, knowing the 19th episode’s title is “CSI: Atlantis”.
    Is that mean this episode kind of like CBS’s CSI ? Investigation, Lab,
    Fingerprint, DNA, these stuff ?
    My second question: If SAG strike, then will delay your shooting, right ?
    Last short question: Will The Phoenix appear in season 5 ?

  36. Coucou Joseph =)

    Cool les photo =) humm sa donne faim tout ça!
    Trop adorable les petits chien *=)

    ahh il fait super beau aujourd’hui! c’est génial!
    Ce matin j’ai eu 2heure de comptabilité et 2 de sport et je suis super fatiguer!! De plus je commence a stréssé pour mes éxamen qui approche =S

    Et bien, vous avez encore répondu mes questions^^ suis au anges ..=) Jespert pas qu’il y’aura des membres de l’équipes qui vont mourir durant cette saison.


    1)Dans la saison 5, allons nous voir des réplicateurs s’attaquaient a des wraith?
    2)Dans cette nouvelle saison ont verra des anciens?

    Voila =) Merci beaucoup Joseph! Enorme poutou!! je vous adore♥

  37. I am glad you are going to check out Guy Gavriel Kay’s work.

    I hope that one of his books makes it to your “To Be Read” pile. : )

  38. So which of those 10 ideas would make the best Stargate Atlantis episode, hm… that’s hard…

  39. Thx fer da pix!

    What’s up with the Replicators and Las Vegas?”
    Answer: Replicators?

    Flan is such a card! trip!

    Shawna: The extras get a trailer? Well, someone’s fancy.
    Ditto! another reason to return to Vancouver. When I was an extra, I got the backseat of my car in the parking lot.

  40. Finding out that the guys on set eat real power bars made me wonder…

    In SG-1, Teal’c was always eating due at least in part to Chris Judge’s insatiable appetite. Is Rodney’s incessant eating because its impossible to find David without food in his hand, or is the integrity of his wasteline a saccrifice he’s been forced to make for the character?

  41. Uh oh! More dog puke. It’s becoming quite a feature on the blog. Maybe your tag should be Pugs and Puke, Thoughts and Tirades, Rants and Ruminations. :-P.

    Oh yeah and “9. Remains of Professional Golfer Found on the Moon.” HA! Fantastic lol.

    I wanted to jump in on the idea of ‘The Blade Itself’ as a film or TV series. I think the latter would be the more possible but I think it would lose a lot in the transition. The stories are initially so separate it would end up jumping about a fair bit with seemingly no link – and to fix that would take away part of the magic.

    As a film, and by film I’m assuming each book would form a trilogy here, I think it would be difficult to flesh out the characters without being a bit boring. For the first book, not a lot happens in retrospect, it’s more a set up and fleshing out of the characters. In film, such time and insight isn’t normally given to character development. Therefore I think the first movie has the potential to butcher the book in becoming a slow, short and/or boring flick.

    Also, like I stated yesterday, most of my favourite parts of the book involved Glotka and more specifically his thoughts. I know this could be maintained by having a running narrative, but could you justify only giving that to Glotka and no one else? If they did give narrative to other characters; the magic of Glotka being the sole thought giver is lost!

    I think this is definitely one book that would never give a series or film that lived up to quality of the book. Although, perhaps I’ve just initiated a challenge there!

    I have a question, were his characters based on anyone? Did he have any insight into anyone (even himself!) with a history of violence/war/pain/injury? I say because Glotka really hit a note with me. When I was near 7 I was in a car accident that left me pretty banged up. For 6 months I couldn’t walk, 6 months later, I could barely walk, and so on. I couldn’t write properly until the age of 11 because of my “cripple hands”. I was only 7 but I remember having feelings of regret, anger and sheer annoyance at pain. Stairs – oh GOD, they sucked for years!

    A lot of authors write characters superficially, not REALLY understanding them. When someone who had/has similar problem to the character reads it, they see right through it and hate the portrayal; it’s false and wrong! In this case Glotka’s portrayal was perfect! Was this just spot on writing or does he know someone in a similar situation that helped to flesh the character out?

    I am a little confused by Thornyrose’s response: “No character (except perhaps Major West) comes off as totally admirable or likable.”

    At first, West seemed alright, then when he helped out that poor farmer, I liked him…then the turn. There’s no way I could call him TOTALLY admirable OR likable. At first he was decent, and then his actions were unforgivable! However, I grew to kinda like him again in the next book, I guess.

    Although it must be said, I like having flawed characters. In reality, no one is perfect and I liked how even the most flawed characters can gain our sympathy while others who aren’t portrayed as “bad guys” get our contempt! lol.

  42. Who was the SG-1 face you saw at lunch? Could it have been Gary Jones? (She asks hopefully) I just love to watch him reach and grab… ah, have I mentioned that I’m on heavy cold medication today


  43. Hi Joe,

    I’m going to go with #’s 2,1,4,and 8 but all of them sparked some twisted interest. Also, this may not be my 1st post but it is the first time I’m participating in the BOTM and I wanted to thank you for the book ideas (I have been in a rut) and opportunity – I may even give the horror books a try. And how is it possible that you read so much, write-not only this blog but also SGA, produce, take care of the dogs, maintain a relationship, and eat so well? I must know your secret!

    Mr. Abercrombie: I wanted to say 1st that I cant wait to get to the next book in the this Series. As I was reading The Blade Itself, I felt like there was something just waiting for me on the next page. It was almost annoying that the book came to an end. – I was a little repelled at 1st by Glokta but he grows on you, he remains pretty true to himself. I loved how the story of “the Bloody Nine” played around Ninefingers until the reveal and will make sure to read more.


  44. Here’s some from me:

    “Potato chip predicts the end of the world”
    “Cute puppy makes his mark on presidential election”
    “Dancing toilet wins Invention of the Year”

    As for your titles….while I don’t approve of drunken monkeys, that would get me clicking. There’s a story in that one.

    Cheers, Chev

  45. Or go reverse psychology.

    Do not click on this link, ever, even if your life depended on it, seriously don’t do it

    Cheers, Chev

  46. I just read that Jason Mamoa might leave SGA at some point after season five. If he does what about replacing him with Teal’c?

  47. Yeah!! You posted a picture of Robert Picardo. I’ve always had a lot of respect for him, and can’t wait to see him in season 5. I think the new uniform looks great on him too.

    “chatted with a familiar face from the SG-1 past at the lunch line”

    OMG!!!!!!! Is Michael on set filming, Joe?!?!?!? Or are you talking about somebody else? I thought I had read somewhere that Michael was filming his episodes in June.

    I think I’ll have to go with number 7: Celebrity Plumber Confidential… although I’m also partial to number 2: Man Wills Fortune To Dog. Dog Blows It All On Coke And Whores. *ROFL*


  48. I thought the gold was OTT for the burgers as well – but I guess they’re going for that ‘glitz’ factor!! Oh, and a way to make it more expensive!

    Of your possible blog titles, I thought they were all funny, though this one particularly caught my eye:

    8. Major Retailer Recalls Combustible Underpants.

    Ah, my juvenile humour kicking in there, I see!

    So, the well-oven-well, what’s next on its list? A kiln, maybe? And does it get paid extra for being in more than one episode?!

    Um, maybe I’ll sign off now before my brain throws out something even more weird and embarassing…


  49. PS – thanks for the pics – especially of Robert in his uniform – he definitely looks the part there! Getting really excited to see Woolsey in charge of Atlantis…

    And poor Lulu – but that’s what she gets for ignoring her master’s voice!


  50. “5. Ballroom Dancing Linked to Mad Cow Disease.”

    Okay, I watched the finale. I enjoyed the show. I drooled a little, well a lot, over the professional dancers. I took costume notes for Burning Man.

    So, who you calling a Mad Cow, pencil-boy? That’s Ms. Mad Space Cow to you!

  51. Hi Joe! Waving hello from Toronto. Now for my question(s).

    What does an Executive Producer do and what is a typical day for you like?


    Do you carry a whip to keep the gang in line?



  52. Hi Joe

    Have you ever read the book “The World Without Us” by Alan Weisman?

    Great book, I really enjoyed it.

    There was also a Documentary on the History Channel a while back called. “Aftermath:The World After Humans”. It was a great Documentary. Usually I do not watch “History Channel”.



  53. Hey Joe are you planning on killing off Ronon? Cause I think that would be a bad idea.
    Also any crazy ideas for more Stargate series?

  54. Salut Jojo sa va?
    Alors comme sa, sa me donne fain les photos

    Au faite quelques questions.

    1: Est ce que les wraiths vont être vincue dans la toues derniere saison que vous conter faire?

    Voila Voila bizoux

    A pluche

  55. Forget Stargate spoilers and behind-the-scenes photos! It is the videos of your dogs barfing that keep me coming back, Joe. 🙂

    And damn you for all your book recommendations! My reading list is growing exponentially and the funds in my bank account are dwindling. What’s a girl to do?

  56. Joe,

    As always, thanks for the blog. This pics are fantastic. I am writing to you during my lunchtime at school since it seems to be the only time I will be able to get on the computer today without someone making some comment about how much time I spend on the computer. Also, my daughter Jennifer is performing in The Jungle Book at her elementary school today and tomorrow, so I won’t be getting home until late. (sigh!)

    I personally like the one about the dog blowing his inheritance on coke and whores. Thanks for the idea about titles though. My rarely noticed blog may benefit from such wisdom.

    Is Jason really leaving? Or is this simply rumor? I would love to know where people have gotten this information…was it here? I did miss a couple of weeks because of real life…

    Have a wonderful day!


  57. Joe,

    I finally got around to reading Old Man’s War. Amazing book. I’m going to have to get Ghost Brigades next. Have you read it? How does it stack up?

  58. Hi Joe!!

    My daughter and I are starting to research Vancouver. She is wanting to go there for her senior trip/graduation present. We hope to go during the Stargate convention. What would be some good links to look at to find ideas of places to eat, stay at, and places that we should see when we are in the area? We may want to extend the trip a few days beyond the convention. Also, here is a thought of getting one of your dog’s “on screen” time. Don’t you have an episode coming up that is supposed to be shot in Vegas. Why not have someone walk down the street with the dog(s) or a real pretty girl carry one of the dog’s and Sheppard (or another guy on the team) glances back at her? Just a thought. Have a great week! I’m soon starting in to Dave Barry’s “Peter and the Shadowthieves” the 2nd book about Peter Pan before Wendy. Excellent series!!! TTFN!!

    from Indiana 🙂

  59. I will never understand how anyone can eat prawns like that. They just look so awkward.

    Thanks for the additional tidbit on The Blade Itself. It’s interesting to see you appreciated the magical elements better after knowing more. I can only imagine how good the second in the series will be!

    I have an odd question for you. In Canada do people celebrate “golden” birthdays (date matching the age)? I always thought it was a universal thing until I discovered no one in Britain had heard of it. I apologize, you’re the only Canadian I actually communicate with. (And I’ll admit, it’s on my mind because tomorrow is my own.)

    And finally, thanks again for the great pictures!

  60. Hey Joe, if you’re looking for tabloid-like headlines what about these:
    Aliens turned our son into a fish finger.
    A double decker bus found frozen in the Antarctic ice.
    And my favourite: a second world war bomber found on the moon.
    I couldn’t make these up. And I didn’t. They are all newspapers headlines which have appeared in the notorious UK tabloid Sport newspaper.

  61. Finally got to high-speed and could watch the vid! TOO CUTE!!! 😆 I just wanna smush ’em all and give ’em kisses! Thanks for sharing your babies with us! (But now I know why you’re a writer, Joe, and not a cameraman… 😉 )


  62. Hi there

    I’m going to jump the gun a bit on the BOTM. I’m having surgery tomorrow and don’t know if I’ll be sitting up by the May 26 “Androids Dream” discussion. I’m not going to talk about the book here but I wanted to say thank you thank you THANK YOU for recommending this book! I haven’t been this excited about an SF book or a new writer in about a decade. I’m even going to buy copies for all my friends!

    I vote for Drunken Monkey. I just keep imaging the TV interviews with the publicity-hound lawyers like Gloria Allred or Mark Garagos (depending if the monkey was male or female). And Mothers Against Drunk Driving starting a new chapter, MADDS – mothers against drunk driving simians.

  63. Can you dedicate your blog to me today. I was cutting up chilli’s and forgot to wash my hands afterwards. Then when I sat down to read your blog, I rubbed my eyes and the temporary blindness and pain made me forget my question 🙁

  64. Hi

    I just follwed a link to a site about a guy that collects his own Navel lint (he has the Guiness World Record)… which was fairly interesting. However more interestingly (i think) he also has a bit on his site about cheating 3D photography. Basically he takes a photo with his camera and then moves a fraction to the left and takes another one. If you then look at these two pictures side by side and cross your eyes and refocus it apears to be 3D. Its amazing! and realy easy to do with just a normal camera. Check out his site and you will see. I was thinking maybe when you are next out taking pictures you might be able to give this a go, so we could enjoy your blog in 3D?

  65. Hi Joe

    I like the one re …. Dancing with the stars and mad cow disease. There clearly is a connection there… That’s a good one..


  66. thanks for the post of the pic of Bob Picardo, he looks really good in the uniform. Though, i am sadden as i have found out that i will be out of town on business when the season premieres. 🙁
    thanks again

  67. WOW…your comment left me smiling almost the whole day…that is until I messed up a check run at work…now I am kinda just blah…
    Though at lunch I did get to read more of Andriod’s Dream…I keep reading the first line of the book to anyone who comes near my desk. There are some Clancy type paragraphs that I will admit I kinda jump over but I am really enjoying the ride. I hope Crawlers shows up this week.

  68. I notice I keep mispelling Android…darn my flipping…I have a real problem flipping letters and not ever noticing I goofed up…
    I think I need a gallon of V8 today…

  69. One more question for Mr. Abercrombie…Should I wait until Aug 08 for The Steel Remains to be published here in the states or should i find a way to get it from the UK? I loved your review of it and can’t wait to find out if I enjoy it like you did.

  70. Okay…my sis just told me Steel Remains does not come out either place until August.

  71. Interesting title. It took a while for this page to load, so I spent a fair bit of time wondering what you might be on about before I saw the explanation. So is this blog about the ratings as well Joe? (Just joking)

    I think it could be funny to see if you do get more hits, so my votes are going to #2. “Man Wills Fortune to Dog. Dog Blows it all on Coke and Whores”, and #5. “Ballroom Dancing Linked to Mad Cow Disease”

    But back to The Blade Itself

    Anne Teldy – I agree that Ardee was mainly seen through the somewhat skewed vision of Luther, but I think there were still some insights into why she was the way she was. In particular, when West loses his temper and we find out about her father, it made me think her amusement towards Luther and other men wasn’t some sort of defence mechanism built up to protect herself from getting hurt.

    Interestingly it wasn’t an event which played a big part in the story (if you ask me), but it did make me understand her actions towards Luther. Which brings me to a question I’m interested in hearing others responses to: do you think she really likes Luther?

    I’m not especially interested in the love angle (and that was another great thing about the book, it never really dwelled on relationships developing), but I’m interested in Ardee’s motivation and actions.

    Iamza – I also found Glokta’s use of torture interesting considering his past. When I was reading over your latest comment I started to think that maybe his torture of others is also torture of himself. We know he was a military person before he was tortured, and perhaps he is punishing himself for getting caught all those years ago.

    Something which I think adds a lot of interest for me is that some characters in The Blade Itself, like Glokta, explore humanity through their actions. Glokta is always asking why he does what he does, and it made me start to think of reasons for his actions.

    Having said that about Glokta, I think West’s repetition of “why me” is what annoyed me about him. It’s that whole “reluctant hero” thing that I’ve found frustrating in so many speculative fiction books. Given, it’s not as strong here because of the multiple narrative voices, but in some ways that takes away from him as a character because there’s less development for him in the first book. I’m sure he’s developed further in Before We Are Hanged, but the “why me” made me wish he’d go away.

    Ok, some questions for Joe Abercrombie.

    1. Each character has a really distinct voice, often highlighted through a phrase repeated during chapters from their perspective (ie. Glokta’s “why do I do this”, West’s “why me”, Dogman’s “damn but he needed to piss” etc). Were the phrases and specific language used an intentional device to develop characterisation, or was something which just happened while you were writing?

    2. I’m really interested in how you feel about it now that you’ve published the next two books, because readers often change their perceptions of a first book after they have finished the series (like Joe M). Without giving too much away about the next two books in the series, could you share some thoughts on what you think of The Blade Itself as the first in the series?

    3. I think someone else asked this, but I second the motion to ask: Are there any characters you really enjoyed writing? And any you didn’t?

    4. I’ve worked with a lot of writers who say they hate to over plan a book before they start writing. I was wondering if you could share some of your process for this series. Did you plan each book? Or just the major arc for the series? Do you prefer to write and see where the writing takes you, or do you prefer to have some idea of where it’s heading before you start writing?

    5. I believe I read “The Blade Itself” is your first book (published), what kind of response have you received overall? And how do you feel it’s gone?

    Thanks Joe,


  72. 7. Celebrity Plumber Confidential
    This reminds me of an article in Movieline magazine YEARS ago that listed the top 10 phone numbers called by young hollywood.

    I was struck this morning by the vacuum Colonel Carter’s exit creates. With Woolsey in charge there are really no women with significant power and responsibility in SGA. And I’m pretty sure I’ve even read that in your blog as part of the reason for the all female team in Whispers.
    The thing I think is interesting is how striking that vacuum was to me. I didn’t expect to be so surprised and saddened when I thought of how male dominant the show might actually be. I was even more startled when I realized almost all of SG1 was that male dominant. I honestly never realized it before.

    The thing I think is sad about Carter’s exit is the same thing I thought about Weir’s exit. It was really enjoyable and inspiring to watch a woman handle such leadership, power and responsibility. It’s something we see so rarely.

  73. As a guinea pig owner/slave this potential blog title tugged at my heartstrings: “Archdiocese Spearheads Campaign for Itinerant Hamsters” 🙂

    Come to think of it, hamsters are notorious Houdinis, so maybe the idea of a population of itinerants isn’t too off the mark. Can’t you just picture them breaking en mass into coffee shops at night and becoming over-caffeinated on chocolate covered espresso beans?

    *grins, then groans as the hamster-dance tune comes to mind* I think it’s gonna take a while to get rid of THAT tune…

  74. Hey Joe,

    I read your title and thought Carson’s Turtles had broken loose on the set and snapped its little bugger of a beak on some unfortunate part of a crew member.

    Did you have coffee today? I know you aren’t usually a coffee drinker… and reading your entry today … well … seemed like a possibility. And are you giggling a lot and doing cartwheels through the office? Sorry, just seeing if other people get affected by caffeine the same way.

    I was always under the impression that dogs ate grass when they were feeling sick, and not that it made them sick. But hey, our toilet water spins the other way here so maybe it’s all backwards with the dogs too.

    At least it’s pug sized puke. Our big boof IS called Ralph and a gift left behind by him, well, usually there is the drawing of straws involved to see who will clean it up. And by the time we’ve done that he’s considered it re-consumable, or the Kelpie has.

    Chev, that Daedalus is a hot-bed of promiscuity. It’s like one big frat house. I hear Thor (buddy!) with his androgynous features was a real ladies man – that look is very “in” this season.

  75. Dog inherits fortune of Major Hollywood Star Attacked by Rabid Turtles while wearing Combustible Underpants; Blows it all on Drunken Monkey Prostitutes, Itinerant Hamsters, Coke and ill-advised side bets on the Blackbelt Pope whomping the Celebrity Plumber at Golf on the Moon while Ballroom Dancing with Mad Cows after the Paris Runway Model Catfight on the Dead Grass.

    Coming soon to YouTube.

  76. Oh, poor Lulu!
    It has been a while since you mentioned ice cream in your blog and since the ice cream season is now upon us, I thought I should mention a new found flavor.
    Haagen-Daz makes a new flavor in their Reserve collection called Toasted Coconut Sesame Brittle which should be avoided at all costs.
    Why? You ask.
    Because the stuff is like CRACK. You pick up a pint to have a taste and somehow a quarter of the thing is just gone! So damn good with the coconut and the sesame and just a hint of ginger.
    Crack I tell you!

  77. Definitely:

    2. Man Wills Fortune to Dog. Dog Blows it all on Coke and Whores.

  78. Hi Joe!

    Love the titles! Today’s is, of course, the best, but

    2. Man Wills Fortune to Dog. Dog Blows it all on Coke and Whores.


    4. Drunken Monkey Acquitted in Hit and Run Death of Local Man.

    are also top faves. I’ll try using similar, but different enough to not get accused of stealing your ideas, titles on my blog. 🙂

    Great pic of Rob P. Lookin’ sharp in that there uniform, eh? He kicked butt in Smallville! Better not tell Woolsey about Shep’s or McKay’s secret weaknesses!

    I swear, Lulu lives more in five minutes than most dogs do their entire little lives! *snort* “Porky” *giggle*

    Can’t wait for the Scalzi discussion! Fun reading, and I hope fun discussing!

    Take care! I’m off to read tonight’s blog!


  79. your potential titles remind me of a game my family recently got.. it’s called “man bites dog” and it’s lots of fun 🙂

    someone else commented asking about seeing an aussie flag on an extra walking past or something, i would like to second that request. i have looked for australians on atlantis but never noticed one so far.

  80. Hello again, sorry….

    5. This is probably a bit of a given, but will the new alien race from First Contact/The Lost Tribe be seen again in season 5?

    Thanks… Again:D

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