THIS BLOG HELD HOSTAGE – DAY 2

In the future unlikely event that I miss another day blogging, I would appreciate it if, rather than simply note my absence as odd and move on, you all use your heads and make the logical assumption that I am trapped somewhere (in all probability, my legs have been pinned under a fallen refrigerator) and require if not your help, then your sympathy. So if you’re not going to rush over and save my life, at the very least bake me a batch of pistachio creams or knit me a cool shoulder holster, something that will help me while I convalesce.

So, with mere days before my mother’s arrival in Vancouver, I am in the process of putting together my “Fun Things To Do With Mom While She‘s Here” list. After checking out some of the online tourism Vancouver sites and perusing the Upcoming Events section of the local independent weekly, this is what I’ve come up with so far:

1) The Holiday Tap Weekend Extravaganza: which includes workshops for people lacking the will to refuse.

2) Bodyslams for Toys: All Star Wrestling benefit featuring matches between Gorgeous Michelle and Aaron Idol in addition to a bout pitting Penni Lane against Nikki Matthews versus Veronika Vice.

3) Retro 80’s dance party at the Atlantis Club (!). I wonder if any members of the expedition will show?

4) Breakfast with Santa: Pancake and sausage breakfast, face painting, and bouncy castle. (Bouncy castle!!!)

5) Winter Funk 2007 Canada: showcasing the latest Bollywood moves.

6) Solidarity Notes: The Vancouver labor choir performs songs of workers’ struggles and social injustice.

So if you were going to take your mom to one of the aforementioned, which would you choose?

Okay, so if you had to choose?

Alright, someone is holding a gun to your head and threatens to kill you unless you attend one. Which will it be?

Fine! Many people are holding guns to your head and the heads of pretty much everyone you know. To save countless lives, you MUST select one.

Well, it doesn’t matter. I failed to check the dates. These events are all happening THIS week. I’ll get an updated rundown of Upcoming Events and follow-up with a brand new list for you all to vote on soon.

To be honest, I haven’t had much occasion to take my mother out and about (besides dinners of course). I believe the last time I did was the time I took her to see the third Lord of the Rings installment, The Return of the King. I remember her commenting loudly throughout the movie as if we were sitting in her living room watching it on t.v. Finally, at the point in the film where the Steward of Gondor rebukes his son Faramir and openly wishes he had perished in battle instead of his preferred Boromir, my mother could barely contain herself. “It’s so ugly that a father would say that to his son!”she remarked. I nodded in agreement and sushed her, making it clear that we should discuss the movie later. And so, she quieted down and watched…up until the part where Frodo and Sam brave the arid journey to the Crack of Doom, when the sight of the two parched hobbits caused her exclaim: “ACH! THEIR LIPS!”.

McGillion suggested she might enjoy going up to Seattle to catch a Supersonics game. I countered that she’d probably prefer three days of sight-seeing fun with her favorite Stargate Atlantis character: Carson Beckett! In the end, we agreed to disagree.

So, help me out here. I’m certain that some of you out there are mothers or have mothers or at least know (of) mothers. What would be a fun mother-son excursion? And don’t say “Go with her to a couples spa,”as my wife (I hope) jokingly suggested. Creepy.

72 thoughts on “December 12, 2007

  1. Well, basing my advice on my mother (which is possibly not a good idea), a trip out to some historical venue (stately homes and castles are a popular choices here in the UK) where you can trail along behind her, noddiing occasionally when she pauses for breath, and pretend to be interested in dusty oil paintings and chamberpots and 4-poster beds, followed by lunch at a nice venue (I’m sure you’ll have no trouble on that front) , preferably with a generous accompanient of wine so that with any luck she’ll fall asleep in the car on the way home and you might get a few moments of peace and quiet. 😀

  2. Hmm Mother – Son stuff – baking cookies? And if you DO take her to a sporting event, she can comment as loudly as she wants – it’s to be encouraged. How about Ice Hockey? A nice curling tourney? Trivial Pursuit? Guest entries on your blog? WELCOME BACK (yeah, I’m shouting!)

  3. Next please : )
    Are you making this your new home permanently? Or will you go back to evil blogger?

  4. You could always ask Fondy nicely if she’ll take her shopping. 😉
    Failing that, YOU could take her shopping. Only if you’re desperate…

    Good to see you back up and running again Joe! I was going crazy from lack-of-blog. And we didn’t even need to rescue you!

  5. What would be a fun mother-son excursion?

    ROFL! Sorry – you’d have to know my mother. I’m pretty sure my brother would tell you “no such thing”, at least not without some serious moodaltering drugs. 😀 From my perspective, mother-daughter trips are no picnic either. So…..sorry, can’t help you, but thanks for the laugh. 😉

  6. Hmmm…why do I have a feeling the first paragraph of this entry has something to do with my (shameful) comments during the infamous “First Night Without Joe’s Blog Night”? Oh well, I hope my subsequent rescue attempt efforts have redeemed me.

    As for what do to with your mom…take her to Bridge Studios. I know I’d want to go there!

  7. Okay, who stole all the smileys? I can’t find any to use on my posts.

    🙁

    Anne Teldy

  8. What about a nice trip around Olympic NP? Take some photos? Go to the rainforest, maybe it will snow while you are there …it did when I was there two years ago. OHHH, go to the famous fish market and let her catch a fish, who doesn’t LOVE that?

  9. “McGillion suggested she might enjoy going up to Seattle to catch a Supersonics game. I countered that she’d probably prefer three days of sight-seeing fun with her favorite Stargate Atlantis character: Carson Beckett! In the end, we agreed to disagree.”

    ……..Does your mother want to join our campaign? I am sure that she will be able to write an excellent letter to TPTB and we can send it on to you.

  10. All I can think of for an outing would be a very nice dinner (I assume with you this is a given) and perhaps a seasonal pagant if there are any. Not much help, I’m afraid. I would need to know your mother and more about what’s goingon in Vancouver. Sorry.

  11. Ok where are you take all this smile face ?? About your maman Joseph, I dont know how she is, but my mom when she visited me she really liked to see where I worked and really liked to go à l’UQAM( where I did my studies )when I leaved at Montréal. So, maybe you can show your mother where you pass your time every day, something like that… Mon dedou, je crois que j’ai un dédoublement de personnalité, je ne sais plus qu’elle langue parler… HÉ! je suis une vrai Canayienne, je speak les deux langues !! Heuuu, je me sens un peu bizarre…

  12. Joe…I’m catching up to what you wrote in the last few days and I have to know…

    WHAT THE HECK IS A SPAM BLOG?????

    I’m seriously confused. It’s your blog. You write entries about your life, dogs, job, food, books…ie…things that interest you.

    Which by the way is the quintessential essence of what most bloggers do.

    Did I miss the part where you started pimping prescription medication? Or promised readers would make $10K in 10 days???

    *light dawns*

    Oooooooooooooooooh.

    It’s your reposting of spam. Regardless of the fact that you brutally mock the spam in question in a variety of hilarious ways, you’re posting those spam messages.

    But wait…why does it matter what you put in your blog?

    IT’S YOUR BLOG and you should be able to do whatever you want with it!!!!

    Stupid Blogger site.

  13. OMG….You killed off your mother’s favorite SGA character??? She actually still talks to you??? You better watch out….she may be out to get you.
    mwahahaha!!!

    Oh btw I vote for this one:
    Retro 80’s dance party at the Atlantis Club ! Woohoo…dance party!!

    What??? He was just kidding….what do you mean? What’s not to like?
    80’s….Atlantis…dancing…how much better can it get?

    Seriously….he’s really kidding? *blushes profusely and says in a small voice not unlike Emily Litella* Never mind.

    Stuck in the 80’s,
    Kimberly

  14. Oh dang! Now I probably got all the “Save (insert your person)” people riled up again with a new reason to lambast you…..sorry!!!

    Kimberly

  15. My pick?

    While number 3 sounds like fun, I don’t know if your mom is into 80s retro or not. So I’d go with….

    4) Breakfast with Santa: Pancake and sausage breakfast, face painting, and bouncy castle. (Bouncy castle!!!)

    You just can’t go wrong with Santa, face painting and a bouncy castle.

  16. Well I wasn’t in Vancouver long, and it was March, but the Capilano Suspension Bridge and Park is amazing. But I don’t know how you’re mom likes 1) nature and 2) heights, but its gotta be seen. That is if its open this time of year.

    I’m also always fond of galleries, has she been to any of the art galleries or museums Van has to offer?

    Take her to Chocoatl (if you haven’t yet). They have the BEST hot chocolate (as you know). Perfect to warm up after a cold day.

    And I can’t believe “you” (used loosely, I know you weren’t show runner then) killed off your mom’s favorite character. Wow. Bet you never heard the end of that……Man, maybe we just found our secret weapon for the campaign – Joe’s Mom!!!! 😀

  17. How about if you take her on a personal driving tour of all the Stargate filming locations, then a set and backstage tour over at Bridge, and then host a cocktail party at Fuel, inviting all the handsome of the Stargate actors? Sounds perfect to me!

    I’d say put her to work at Petit Fours; I’m sure she’d charm the customers no end with the famed family forthrightness. Like, “Fondy, look that woman looks just like her poodle!”

    Honestly, once she bonds with Lulu she’ll be happy to stay home. 🙂

  18. susan malcolm Says:
    December 15, 2007 at 2:45 am
    “McGillion suggested she might enjoy going up to Seattle to catch a Supersonics game. I countered that she’d probably prefer three days of sight-seeing fun with her favorite Stargate Atlantis character: Carson Beckett! In the end, we agreed to disagree.”

    …..Does your mother want to join our campaign? I am sure that she will be able to write an excellent letter to TPTB and we can send it on to you.

    I thought that I had better log the above the above comment under my full name, the one that hints at my allegiance to fellow Scottish people. Have you ever eaten a turtle – are they edible? Have you had a haggis? I find haggis too spicy and can only eat a small amount.

  19. Uber: Beats me how his blog became spam.. perhaps it’s because Naughty Baron Von Destructo posted all those url links to “Baron’s Nortybutnice Webcam girls” sites…

    Glad to see you found a sanctuary Joe. Can’t say I like the bland decor but.. at least you’re blogging. Viva La Blog!!!!

    As for your mum , The Santa pancake bouncy castle sounds great. Just make sure your mum doesn’t hurl/barf the pancakes and snaggers in mid bounce. Oh and tell her to wear slacks, not a dress ;). We want you back blogging safe and mentally sound.

    mwahs.. (now that I know the clue is at the very end of either ep 18,19,220 of Season 3, you know what I’LL be doing tonight – did it last night too but fell asleep ..hey, I’m 45 gimme a break)

  20. Hmmm…..did my last post post? Lol…that doesn’t sound right…nor left come to think of it.

    My last post doesn’t seem to have shown up. Oh well…I will wait a few and repost….*big sigh*

    Kimberly

  21. Oh and P.S Joe.. at the Santa bouncycastlesnaggerpancake fest.. make sure you face paint your mum like a Wraith. She’ll love it!

  22. hmmm mother son outing? what about a trip down and over to the historic barvarian village of leavenworth always a hit i hear. or there is always the market(pike place) a trip to the most magical place on earth(aka bellis fair) might be in order too…..

  23. I admit, I was a little worried something had happened to you. I kept checking the other blog, cringing at the possible headlines. Like “Joe Mallozzi Crushed by Refrigerator.” Then I finally caught wind of the new blog while the old one is under investigation. Glad nothing horrific has happened to you!

  24. As a mom myself of a boy, I would say that just hanging out with her might be an option. Just order take out, rent a movie (so that way she can talk whenever she wants), and just enjoy it. Especially, since you don’t live close to her anymore. That’s what I would want to do with my son when he is older (right now he’s only 9, but he’s growing up more and more that he doesn’t want to hang out with Mom).

    You could ask what she wants to do. I’ll bet that she would say anything as long as she could spend some time with you. Take her to lunch then to a museum of her choice. Whatever you decide to do, have fun!

    Have a good night!
    ~rac

  25. Ooooh, the same thing happened to my friend and her own Blogger account! She got it resolved fairly quickly, though — within a day, if memory serves. Wll, at least you can still log in for comments — Blogger won’t even let me do that much anymore for some reason! *pout*

    Bouncy Castle!!! Surely there must be a second castle *some*where in Vancouver?

    Me, I’m planning on hitching a ride with mum when she goes to work on X-Mas day and seeing Sweeney Todd. 😀 Ahh, a little music and murder for the holidays …

    @ptarmigan ~ Thanks! 🙂

  26. Well, I seem to be too late to volunteer for the task force – by the time I got through reading the whole comment saga, Mr. M had already escaped! But if anyone does decide to go back for the shoes, I offer the following talents:

    -I majored in Linguistics and German, and I work for the public service. Not helpful you say? Try decoding the secret language used by LAME amongst themselves! Alternatively, I could be the HOLder of the Acronyms (HOLA) – Acronyms being, of course, what governments do best.

    Alternatively, if you need someone to play the tinwhistle or sing a song or two, I’m your woman….

    In closing, I dedicate this song to the SUCKASS etc rescue team(s) – and of course, to Joe himself. You can hear it and sing along at http://susanw.sasktelwebsite.net/odetosuckass.html . Please forgive the rather poor accompaniment. I’m stuck with this tiny, soulless synthesizer for the German christmas concert tomorrow (long story, I can no longer handle the sounds of “Morgen kommt der Weihnachtsmann”, but that’s another story). Anyhoo, it’s hard to play when you’re used to a proper piano!

    Joy to the world! Mallozzi’s back.
    Let fans prepare the feast!
    Strange borscht and pigs on platters
    Served in surprising batters
    And fine chocolate desserts
    And fine chocolate desserts
    And fine, and fine chocolate desserts.

    He was detained by ruthless men
    Mutants, and aliens
    They seek to rule our planet
    Enslave us all to man it
    But Joe maintained his cool
    But Joe maintained his cool
    But Joe, but Joe maintained his cool.

    As he lay lunar languishing
    And pugs their sad tails told
    The anxious fans conspir’ed*
    Narelle her staff she fir’ed
    To Fuel went PG15
    The Baron wooed Pauline
    And Susan the Tartan Turtle graced the scene.

    Dentists and lawyers volunteered
    A morale choir was formed
    While warehouses exploded
    And Ain’t-Real-Guns were loaded
    To free our man fettered
    Anne kidnapped John Sheppard
    And duplicate RepliJoes filled the earth.

    But Joe escaped all by himself
    Returned almost unscathed
    What matter damaged ties
    While Dee’s still spreading lies*
    And don’t forget the sporks
    And don’t forget the sporks
    And don’t, by God, and don’t forget the sporks!!

    Cheerfully and somewhat embarassedly,
    Susanw

    *This is a reference to the misinformation campaign in case anyone’s wondering!

  27. I like the Thunderdome method of choosing activities. When in doubt “spin the wheel”. Or a duel to the death. Pictures from either would be great fodder for family albums.

    It’s good to see that you’ve found some temporary respite from the evil machinations of blogger.com and co. The Baron’s forefather’s must be rolling in their collective mass moon-base grave.

  28. So…..here’s home. Know what? blogspot doesn’t know what they are loosing. Sucks to be them right now. Not as flashy a format this but still adequate and pretty informal. Sorry you were ousted. But glad you’re back…… sorta.

    BTW, I bought extra super soakers if you want one. The orphans have been harassing the gaters you so inconveniently left at the mote. The orphan population seems to be decreasing a bit …… disinterest on their part?…….. or hunger on the gaters part???? One can only guess…..

    I’ll keep 2 back in reserve (super soakers, that is) one for each hand.

  29. Aha! So you DO live…

    Erm… Yeah, ‘kay, it took me four days to realize this. Don’t worry, if you were actually pinned under a malignant refrigerator, you could survive for days without food or water. Trust me, I’m a biology student. I dissect things and everything.

    Mother-son excursion… em… Being a young woman myself, I am not yet a mother and in fact am incapable of being a son, so I couldn’t actually say. I suppose it depends on what she likes and what she’s seen before. Personally, I always find the Riverwalk here in San Antonio to be an excellent place to go with relatives. (Yes, I know, you’re in Vancouver.) My point being, it’s a nice outdoor place, good atmosphere and beautiful scenery, where we can walk, talk, there are lots of little shops and nice restaurants and beautiful gardens and architecture. Any kind of place like that up your way?

    Glad you’re alive, by the way.

  30. Hmmm, going to see historical sites is always interesting. Any place around you give tours? Your mom might like that. In general, my experience with Moms is that they just like spending time with their children in these types of situations, so I don’t think you can really go wrong, as long as you’re not shipping her off somewhere… You’re not just shipping her off somewhere, right??

    Anyway, welcome back (sort of) and I hope you get your blogging woes figured out soon! (And thanks for giving me the perfect situation to use the word ‘woes’. I mean, how many times can you really find to fit that into conversation seamlessly?)

  31. Assuming it isn’t totally freezing, Mom might like taking a day/overnight cruise to Seattle. And hit a Supersonics game. The Victoria Clipper was running in the summer. Not sure about the winter… Though Vancouver has so much cool stuff to do, Seattle might be superfluous.

    What’s Mom a fan of? Take her to it if you can stomach it. 🙂 You could always take her gambling. There are tons of casinos of the US side. (I don’t know Canada’s laws.)

    Good luck! have fun with the mom!

    Suse

  32. What’s with all the songs and poems?

    Some people have too much time on their hands 😉

    On another topic altogether, we know that Beckett’s coming back for season five, I think it’s the world’s worst kept secret. How likely is it that we’ll see Weir coming back?

    It would be nice to see Torri and Amanda splitting the season, you know, ten episodes each or something, since both have other work they’re doing.

    You’d have a win/win situation. You’d have the Torri fans watching and the Amanda fans watching. Add those to the Beckett fans who’ll come back when he returns. Think about it. Ratings bonanza!

  33. Bonsoir Joseph,
    Hé ! HÉ ! Pensais-tu réellement que j’allais cesser de t’écrire en français ? Hein !!!! Non, non, et t’empêcher de pratiquer cette merveilleuse langue ? Pffu, je ne suis pas si ingrate. Je pensais avoir le plaisir de lire le reste de tes blogs ce soir, mais bon ce sera pour demain. Je voulais également te dire que je n’aime pas vraiment la structure de ce nouveau blog. Trop froid, trop je sais pas quoi, mais j’aimais mieux l’autre «home». J’espère que tu pourras y retourner bientôt. Bon, ben bonne nuit, ça parrait pas comme ça mais il est tard dans l’Est et j’ai pas juste ça à faire moi écrire des commentaires sur internet ! Non mais…J’AI UNE VIE AUSSI !!! (Bon je crois qu’il est temps que j’aille me coucher…)

  34. “…or knit me a cool shoulder holster, something that will help me while I convalesce.”

    You got it. Any preferences on color? What about yarn – cotton, wool, mohair, buffalo?

  35. hi, joe,

    does your mom like christmas lights on houses and such? you could take her on a tour of the best made up houses. or maybe a harbor cruise to see the lights on houses in the harbor?

    merry christmas,
    sally 🙂

  36. Great to see things are starting to get back to normal Joe… There goes your excuse for not having picked up Fondy’s Christmas present yet… and damn I had just re-financed the house this morning to help with the rescue effort. At least I managed to get a new retina out of all this. The monocle look is very in I hear.

    I discovered a book in an alternative shop the other day that was based on Atlantis, the Ancients, Ancient Egypt and Buddhism/Taoism (all things I love and in one book!) and was wondering if you ever have any legal issues that come about when you come up with ideas that , unbeknownst to you, have been published elsewhere? (I’m searching through my Blackberry for the name and author of the book).

    PS: I was hunting through my Dad’s book collection and found a book on archaeology from 1966. Thought, hmmm this could be interesting. Chapter 1 – How to Buy Antiquities. Chapter 2 – How to Steal Antiquities. Seriously! How times have changed. Now it’s just not politically correct to admit you steal antiquities.

  37. @ SusanW

    That was wonderful! Great job! I loved the singing and the lyrics are awesome! (gee…do I use exclamation marks too much?!?!) 😀

    Now you need to put some video to it and upload it to youtube!!! Or you can post it at David Hewletts forum http://www.davidhewlett.com, under the thread “Christmas Songs Rewrite”! http://tinyurl.com/26tnnq

    Admiringly,
    Kimberly

  38. Well as one who is forced at least once a year to entertain her mother solely and come up with entertaining notions of fun things to do in Kansas City (there are none if you’re wondering), I think I have some good advice. Ask your mom what she would like to do. What things she enjoys doing in her free time and accompany her there. If she has no suggestions, the zoo and aquariums are someplace that me and my mother always enjoying checking out. My mother also enjoys things like craft fairs and holiday fests of that sort. It’s also possible that your wife might have a better idea then the couples spa. Oh and you’re also not the only one who has a mother who loudly comments on movies in the theater. Maybe it’s that getting old bit (my mother is 68) I dunno. Just wanted you to know you’re not alone in having to patiently shush your parent during a film.

  39. As it happens, I have a mother, know of mothers, and am a mother. So with my expertise, I am backing your suggestion to Paul McGillion. I’d certainly love three days of sight-seeing fun with my favorite Stargate Atlantis character: Carson Beckett. And I suppose you could go along, too, if you’re careful not to crimp her style.

    As for noting your absence from blogging and the logical assumption which should have been made….I’ve only popped in there occasionally. Yes, I confess to stalking Paul by proxy. Lucky you!

  40. Hi Joe,

    Nice to see you again. What is a spam blog? I don’t get it. Oh well I hope it gets sorted out soon. Are you going back?

    I have no idea what you should do with your mom. Maybe take her to that giant Japanese dollar/toonie store (Daiso?) Do you live anywhere near that? I’ve never been to it but everyone I know who visits Vancouver goes and brings goodies back. I hear you can spend a lot of time in there.

    Maybe take her out and about town, visit Chinatown for some dim sum and wonder around for a few hours. I have no clue…

    I think your best bet is still Paul McGillion, who wouldn’t love that? I’m sure you could bribe Paul into spending some time with your mom.

  41. So nice to have your blog back! 🙂 Oh, and yeah, condolences for being stuck under the fridge. But as long as you can do your blog, that’s what counts. – OH NO! I meant to say, that’s absolutely horrible, and please move your legs over so I can check out whatever goodies you and Fondy have stocked up.

    Re: where to take your mom, *definitely* to the Bodyslam for Toys. My grandmother is part québécoise, and she loves wrestling! (So naturally every other French-Canadian woman must like it…. ) And like someone else posted, she could make all the noise she wanted. Grandmère certainly does. And while undoubtedly your mother is younger than my grandma, probably – this is just a guess, here – she wouldn’t really enjoy the 80’s retro thing all that much, unless you think she might really like being able to exclaim over all the extra-large safety pins in people’s ears, and stuff like that.

    Then, at home, you could have some rented highlight reels of the 1960’s Raiders, to continue a fun night of gratuitous violence (sometimes even by the players) and yelling obscene comments at clueless referees. Sounds great, eh?

  42. @ Susan W ~ Bravo, that was lovely! 😀 (Wish I’d had you around to play the piano for me when I recorded mine!)

    See, now you *have* to have a musical ep of SGA, Joe! (Especially since Fox nixed the Buffy Horror Picture Show at conventions …)

    (BTW, whoever penned Lulu and Jelly’s heartfelt plea — that was brilliant! I nearly did a spit-take on my keyboard when I read the bit about them being willing to sell the boy pugs for the rescue efforts…)

  43. All I want for Christmas is:

    Weir back.
    Beckett back.
    Kolya back.
    Atlantis cut off from Earth again.

    Any of those ideas strike your fancy? (Please say yes to bringing Lizzie back!)

    I promise you I’ve been good all year…

  44. You should take your mother to The Elbo Room and be rude to the waiters. Then wait for her to tell you off for it, as mothers like to do in public places. Then maybe they’ll tell her off for being rude to you. Oh to be a fly on the wall.

    Now I’ll give YOU a dose of Elbo Room attitude. BRING ELIZABETH BACK FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! WHAT ARE YOU, A MORON????

    Before anyone throws a hissy fit, I’m sure JM knows all about The Elbo Room. And you don’t.. so don’t have a cow.

  45. <>

    How about Capilano Canyon, Grouse Mountain, a walk on the Seawall, or a trip on the Skytrain from one end to the other. (If you do the Skytrain thing, best not to do it too late at night, though. My sister, a friend, and I took it from Van to Burnaby at about 1:00 a.m. once. Some guy got on around Main and then started undressing. Not sure what your mother would make of that.)

    There’s also the Planetarium and the art museum. Or you could take a trip to Vic and go to the museum, the Parliament buildings, or Craigdarroch Castle. And, a trip to Vic would include a ferry ride!

    As your mother is a Paul McGillion/Carson Beckett fan, maybe you could convince the Baron and his cronies to kidnap him, wrap him in a nice ribbon, and deliver him under the tree on Christmas for her. I’m sure the Baron would graciously accept the ransom money that’s been collected to rescue you and which, as it turns out, wasn’t needed as you seem to have rescued yourself.

    On a side note, do you want the rescue party to attempt to recover your shoes?

  46. Oh God, I HATE going to movies with people who feel the need to comment loudly on the goings-on on screen. But I laughed out loud (lol, if you will) reading about your mom’s comments. Especially the chapped lips scene. 😀

    But I hate it more when people make loud comments to the entire theatre in a way that suggests that they think their comment is so great that EVERYONE must want to hear it because it’s just SO funny and clever.

    I hope my comment is blue-highlighted. It’s much prettier.

    I’m just testing to see if wordpress recognizes html coding. Pardon.

  47. Well I don’t know much about mother-son outings, as I am a girl, and my brother doesn’t do outings with my mother. I would always suggest looking for raccoon plushies but I am just slightly obsessed, so maybe bingo. I here tell there are bingo fights and that at least should be interesting for you. But if perhaps that doesn’t sound exciting enough, (Bingo fights how could it not be exciting?), you could mayhaps take her to some sporting event. Although I think a local aquarium with sharks at feeding time would be pretty awesome too. But I don’t know that there are any aquariums in Vancouver that would allow you to watch sharks being fed. Or really any that let you watch shark feedings… So sad. So maybe I don’t have any really good ideas but I am sure your mother will have a bunch of ideas about what she wants to do. I hope her visit goes well regardless of the lack of raccoon plushies and or sharks being fed. And I really pleased to be reading you blogs from the last few days. Sorry Blogspot hates you.

  48. How about the UBC campus? Museum of Anthropology, Rose Garden, Chen Centre (as seen in The 4400 *and* SGA), campus bookshop, cafes, and, best of all, at this time of year there are hardly any students or academics cluttering up the vistas.

  49. that should be Elbow Room, of course.

    I think I was channelling a certain trouble maker over at GW when I wrote Elbo instead.

  50. Hi Joe! My suggestion for an outing with your mom? Get on a plane, fly to the North Pole, Alaska and go meet the Santa there. While you’re there, take a trip out to the Chena Hot Springs, stop for a relaxing dip in the springs, then keep on going ’til you reach Fairbanks. Trust me, we’re much cooler than the map shows us to be! But if taking a trip out to good ‘ole Fairbanks is out of the question, then in lieu of such an event, I vote for #2 on the list. At the very least, it’ll give you and your mom something to talk about for the rest of the evening. By the way, I love that your mom gave her critical analysis of LotR throughout the movie. Does she enjoy the books?

  51. “knit me a cool shoulder holster”
    Do you love Pushing Daisies as much as I do? I have not, however, knitted *anyone* a shoulder holster.

    I laughed out loud at the paragraph about seeing the Supersonic game versus a tour of Vancouver with Carson Beckett. I can see why Paul McGillion might not have liked that idea, however–particularly if you told *him* about your mother’s performance at the LOTR movie.

  52. I’m basing this entirely on my mother (but hey, what other point of reference do I have?) but gardens are always a good idea… I know that it’s really not the best time of year, but perhaps if the weather picks up you could try UBC Botanical Garden?

    Mary

  53. Bouncy castle! Bouncy castle!

    But then, I’m biased toward anything with “Castle” in it, having nieces named Sunshine Castle and Starr Castle. Honest. They’re Californians.

  54. Hey, I’m with the guy who’s suggesting UBC. It’s a great place. Also, don’t forget to visit the Hennings building, where you can hang out with all us cool Physics students (what? No, it’s not an oxymoron!).

  55. Ok…come back and the decor’s changed. Nicer. Any significance in the grass growing? Or is that healthy wheatgrass?
    Spent last night enjoying a few drinkipoos and THINK I FOUND THE CLUE TO CARSON’S WHEREABOUTS. I won’t tell but I’m sure it’s given away in dialogue (from someone who’s not male)right at the end of one of those episodes as you mentioned. I feel rather proud of myself!

  56. Hi Joe,

    I think all mother’s deserved to be spoiled. So if there is a place you know of in Vancouver which does a high tea (sorry can only help you if you wanted to know of a place in Sydney!) that is my suggestion.

    Also, a trip to the theatre is something my mum enjoys.

    Have fun with your mum!

    Susan

  57. Dear Joe,

    OK, I’ve GOT IT! Contact the local Red Hat Society and see what event they are planning for her stay. There is ALWAYS something going on with this group and she would LOVE it!. You can find the local chapter on the web. I’m a member and there’s always something up. My son helped me when I arrived in Atlanta to locate these wonderful ladies and I still thank him today for helping me locate my local ladies.

  58. Susan W wrote:

    To free our man fettered
    Anne kidnapped John Sheppard
    And duplicate RepliJoes filled the earth.

    I kidnapped no one. I placed him in protective custody. Thee’s a huge difference.

    Anne Teldy (No. Sorry, John. There’s still no news. Mallozzi’s still missing so you’ll just have to stay with me a bit longer. 😀 )

  59. take her to the wrestling,my gran and great aunt used to love going here in the uk,they took me sometimes cos they said i was very loud(dont know what they meant)just to say thank you for your blog,havent been able to comment before cos i didnt understand how to on the other one so thanks and dont forget your promise of half naked jason pics,it is xmas!!

  60. I’m a 51 year young mother to a 29 year something son, and personally, I enjoy playing games on the Nintendo Wii and beat the crap out of him. Ha Ha. He is easy to beat in games because he laughs to much and I take advantage of it real bad, no mercy. Actually, anything is great as long as you enjoy yourself as much in her company as she does with you.

    Wishing you the best time of your life woth your mom

    Constance Auclair

  61. I forgot to say, I’m very glad that I finally caught up with you. I only noticed that you went missing on the 14th, I know it’s bad but in all fairness I thought that you might have gone on a well deserved vacation. I found this place while reading the comment starting from the end of your other blog. Hope everything resolves itself soon.

    And thank you for Stargate Atlantis

    Constance Auclair

  62. Hi Joe. I love your blog and I love the show!!

    I have a couple of questions regarding Teyla and her baby. Will she raise her baby on Atlantis? If so, will her involvement with the team and going out on missions be decreased in season 5?

    Thanks!

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