Some thirteen years ago, a masseuse at the Peninsula Hotel in Hong Kong predicted I would have shoulder problems when I got older. Well, she was right. Turns out the Mallozzis have notoriously bad shoulders and this curse has manifested itself over the past decade in the form of limited mobility, aches, pains, and the occasional sleepless night. During my last physical, my doctor had me attempt a range of motions and, based on my shocking inflexibility, surmised I may be suffering from a torn rotator cuff. He recommended physiotherapy and, after weeks of resistance exercises, spider-climbing walls with my fingers, and rolling a rubber ball against the sore spots, I was sent for x-rays and an ultrasound. Which is where I was today – twisting, turning and posing while they scanned and snapped. The ultrasound technician isn’t allowed to offer any meaningful insight into the results, so you are left to suss out potential bad news on the basis of changes in facial expressions or subtle shifts in mood. I tried to commit to memory the various wispy images that flashed by, rushing home to cross-reference them with results I brought up on google images. Hard to say but from the looks of things, it’s either a tear, a detached tendon, or I might be pregnant. At one point, the technician highlighted a dark section. “That doesn’t look good,”I prompted. “Oh, there are a lot of these,”he noted, running the cursor over similar smaller dark sections that he hadn’t taken the trouble to highlight.
“You’re doctor will contact you in one or two days,”I was reassured, leaving me less than reassured.
And so now I wait for the results. Fortunately, I have tomorrow’s dentist appointment and Thursday’s echocardiograph to keep my mind otherwise occupied.
Insect Sour? Yes/No
Kick back after a hard day with a thirst-quenching bottle of Insect Sour https://t.co/Yofu2oQLx5 via @RocketNews24En
— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) December 7, 2021
Finally, lets conclude with some goodies from the Stargate vault…
9 thoughts on “December 7, 2021: It’s either a tear, a detached tendon, or I might be pregnant.”
Feel better. I have a lot of shoulder problems myself, so I hope yours is easily rehabilitated.
I am so sorry about your shoulder. That sounds very painful. I remember when I found out that I had a previous sprain of my ankle and then knew exactly when that was (as a hurricane was approaching) and I just thought at the time I had a bad twist on it. Let’s hope it is something that can be fixed and not something that they can’t do anything to help about. I hope your dentist appointment and your echocardiogram goes better for you.
As far as the yes/no: Absolutely not.
Love the Stargate pictures.
doctor wants a new boat
I hope your tests are nothing but good news!
I have a medical background and am fairly good at reading x-rays and scans. Plus, I sometimes get professional courtesy and access to preliminary results. Even so, it remains very stressful until I see the final results copy and work through a treatment plan. I get it. Try not to read anything into the process at this point.
Gorgeous concept artwork! Thanks so much for taking the time to share it. “The Other Guys” is one of my favorite episodes.
I’ve known two people that got a new shoulder joint. They’re doing ok. 😉
What you really should be worried about is your cholesterol. 🙂
I spent Monday getting a physical and knee x-rays. Mild arthritis. If this is mild, I can hardly wait until it just explodes. Also, my AC1 is bad. Really bad. Gah.
I feel your shoulder pain. I tore my left R.C. in 1999 (and broke my scapula) by trying to avoid a 40 foot fall down a crevice in a cave. (Really.) Surgery and the shoulder is better than new.
Then in 2001 I was bike riding, the front wheel hit a rock and turned 90°, and I landed face down in a puddle with a badly torn right R.C. Two surgeries, including a piece of pig intestine put in to help it heal, and I still have limited motion. Then a few months ago I was trimming tree branches with a pole lopper, and apparently tore the shoulder more by pulling the rope on the lopper. Now I have even less motion in that shoulder and have pain when I try to sleep on my right side. I’m not even going to try seeing a doctor for this one, since it’s the shoulder that two surgeries couldn’t fix.
In between the two shoulder surgeries I fell off a stage and tore my right ACL. Surgery fixed it.
Yeah, I’m a real klutz.
I hope you have better luck than me with healing!
So. When do you find out if it’s a boy or a girl?