Spending half my afternoon trying to nail down this recorded pitch, and the second half of my afternoon drinking bourbon, trying to nail down this recorded pitch. I fucking hate pitching. It's the equivalent of judging a chef's culinary skills by the layout of their cookbook.
— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 4, 2021
I honestly hate it. I fucking hate it. I”ve often said that writers must master three skills in this industry: generating ideas, pitching, and, oh yeah, actual writing. The maddening thing is that the system is weighted towards those who can pitch over those who can actually deliver on the page. Positively mediocre writers can do very well if they are great salespeople. Conversely, the greatest of writers can languish in relative obscurity if they can’t pitch. When all is said and done, I’m perfectly fine at pitching provided I have proper prep, but my strength lies, without a doubt, in the actual writing!
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— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 4, 2021
9 thoughts on “September 4, 2021: Hurray for bourbon!”
It just occurred to me that half-face Apophis would make a great Halloween costume for someone.
What a tough profession you are in! What’s the “carrot” you see dangling in front of you?
Reading your heartfelt angst over the years about writing and trying to sell it, I have often wondered how many great movies, TV shows, books, etc. are out there that have not, and will not, ever see light beyond the author’s typewriter. How many deserving awards will never be presented. It’s a shame to think that many good ideals have been pitched before a distracted executive with a headache, or someone who didn’t get enough sleep the night before, or who is just personally disconnected and distracted that day. And then all the public sees is another rehashed clone that isn’t particularly good yet seems to sell. Maybe you should write a “NCIS:Space” version.
And go easy on the bourbon!
At my current job, we mostly keep our heads down and code except for a 5-minute “stand-up” meeting. For interviews, we try to not screen for people who’ve been getting by on their sales skills and I’ve pointed out that in every type of job, even sales, introverts perform better than extroverts. Some on the team are insisting on hiring people who aren’t assholes and I don’t know how to tell that from an interview, especially in IT where someone could insult you but not be an asshole because so many are autistic. I’d say my work location is mostly people with autism, not because those people get through the interviews better, but because they stay for a very long time because, once they’re here, they can get by on their code alone.
But I’ve worked at another large corporation and, boy howdy, do the corporate psychopaths make a lucrative playground of the place while not getting a lick of real work done and distracting and discouraging the competent people from getting work done. These kinds of places put a lot of emphasis on fitting in with the company culture and it’s really about being the best BS’er, because that’s what the people at the top are. If they actually let you work productively, watch out, because they may be planning on taking credit for it.
Don’t sell yourself so short, Joe. You’re not just an excellent writer. You’ve also become excellent at show running. Understanding all aspects of production. Also, most excellent at spotting young promising inexperienced talent and giving them opportunities to learn, grow, and move up in the business. And you are beyond excellent and experienced at social media. Building fan club followings, networking, and getting fans excited about projects. Soooo, instead of complaining about young mediocre, likely inexperienced, writers who are good at sales/pitching, …
why not use your social networking saavy to locate and partner up with one of these younger excellent sales people, who might benefit from your talent and experience. In exchange for them successfully writing and selling your next pitch you could offer them to shadow you as a show runner/producer on your next production set so they could learn and gain experience in all aspects of the business. Just as you supplied opportunity to the young, talented, Allison Hepburn. Ayisha Issa. Ivon B. And so many others whose names i cannot think of at that moment. All have benefited well from the opportunities and experience you afforded them. Just as you greatly benefited from the opportunities Brad Wright afforded you.
Seems to me if someone is only a mediocre writer but excellent at pitching and sales, ( excellent enough to successfully sell that mediocre script idea to a major streamer or tv network), they have the potential to become excellent production execs. Maybe even starting and running their own major production company someday. You could possibly help get them started on that path.
Hugs, love and much gratitude to @Tam and @Ponytail. Thanks to your generous pitch in to the med fund, fellow cancer patient and lifelong sculpture extraordinaire Naomi was able to make and deliver my new prosthesis last week. It’s wonderful. It’s so comfortable, even and natural looking, no one has looked at me funny at work or in the supermarket at all. You honestly really can’t tell the left side of my chest is missing under my clothing.
A couple local friends are still trying to raise enough money offline to get me a lightweight/ portable/ foldable, motorized bicycle, that can easily, inexpensively, be shipped north when my case is transferred to Massachusetts, but haven’t been able to raise much. This is super important guys!
Even more important than my self confidence in public being restored. Because I dont drive and am currently having a very difficult time getting around in a reasonable amount of time on my manual pedal bike, I need slightly quicker, easier, transportation to secure and maintain full time work hours to keep a reasonably safe roof over my head. I’m currently only working part time locally and the closest, reasonably virus safe, job I’m qualified for offering full time hours is 6 miles away. If you guys could pitch in for it, it’d be mucho, mucho, appreciated! I am making some progress on meeting prerequisites for oral chemo at home so my case can be transferred to Ma, but I’m still probably looking at 3 more months here in virus infested Florida.
On a happier note: I’m finally off the steroidals i was forced to take and now that a few more food restrictions have also been lifted, a pal from my former neighborhood brought me some of her homemade dark chocolate, orange and almond cake. OMG! SO DELICIOUS!! She’s promised to make me something with hazelnut filing in the next couple weeks. XO
Med Fund: https://fundrazr.com/d1rUX1
Venmo: DreaCrysel @gmail
Hire Lemke or equivalent to do the pitch.
I hope you were at least drinking Rebel Yell or Jack Daniels. There are probably better bourbons, but those two are good for what ails you. I am sorry that pitching carries so much weight because you have more than proven you can provide a good script coupled with competent show running. Hopefully, your track record of writing and delivering successful entertainment will be taken into consideration.
I have never tasted matcha, so I wouldn’t know with what to pair it.
Awesome concept art and photos! Apophis’ makeup for this episode gives me the creeps. I think that’s a good thing. Thanks again for sharing!
That looks painful, I forget how gory life in the rings can get. I agree with the vast blandness of network stuff which is why I’m always hunting for quirky shows like Truth Seekers and Resident Alien, my next binge will be Reservation Dogs. I’m not a fan of the “medical folks race to a helicopter” shows or cop/lawer/doc anything which I’m sure were all great pitches. I loved the heck of People of Earth and Wonderfalls.
My pressing question today is how long to cook to a fresh hamburger patty; so it looked done, then it started looking not done, now it looks overdone. I’m toasting brioche buns, i’ve got roasted red and yellow peppers sizzling with vidalia onions with the burger plus tons of spices. I’m also baking sweet potato fries to go with it and I’ll top it with aged cheddar. I haven’t had a burger in at least two years so I’ve gone a little over the top.