Hey, have you noticed how those financial gurus on youtube all dress like they shop at Goodwill?  Would you take investment advice from someone who looks like your uncle from his vacation photos in Boca Rotan?

No, it would seem the only one you can rely on to make sound financial decisions in your interest is yourself.  And that doesn’t exactly inspire confidence either.  I mean, I actually enjoy statistics, isolating and identifying patterns within the data, but, damn, it’s exhausting.  And it seems that, most of the time, those analysts. indicators, valuation models and formulas contradict each other.  As my former writing partner used to say: “I’m not looking to make a killing.  I just want to not lose the money I have.”  Which is, I feel, a reasonable ambition.

Another thing he used to say is: “The only way I’m going to make money is by earning it.”  And, I suppose you could argue day traders and serious market investors do earn their money, but for every massive success story you hear about there are many modest failures you don’t, because the sad truth is, when it comes to the stock market, for ever winner, there is a corresponding loser.  Or, in the case of a big winner, multiple losers.  It’s a risky game.

Which is why I prefer instead the job security of being a freelance writer, a career where hard work and dedication guarantees absolutely nothing outside of a file to clutter your desktop.  BUT, every so often, like those who bought Tesla stock in late March, you do see moderate success.  This usually takes the form of an option or development work or, if you really luck out, a staff position on some production.  Sometimes, if you’re REALLY lucky, like whoever bet big on Microsoft when it first went public, you can actually land your own show.  And if you’re outrageously lucky, like whoever bought Microsoft and Apple in the early days, you could even land TWO shows!

So that’s where I’m at now, trying to secure Apple stock circa 1980.  Hell, I’d even be happy with January, 2009.

Okay, Crime Club members.  What did you think of Three Kings?

A great premise buffed and polished in typical Hollywood fashion until rendered a standard, easily digestible big screen offering. The movie’s opening moments hold the promise of something quirky and different, but it quickly devolves to formula. The movie progresses in paint by numbers convention, devoid of any surprises or characters to care about. It all culminates in a predictable communal sacrifice predicated on a cringeworthy exchange of knowing nods.

The action pieces are well-executed. The underlying message about the unfairness of war less so. In the end, it’s the filmic equivalent of fast food for the masses – quick, convenient, and totally forgettable.

Tomorrow’s Crime Club selection is the French psychological thriller Caché: