Who’s up for a mailbag?  I am!  If you are too, leave me your burning questions in the comment section.

You know what’s annoying?  When people say “Hey, our team wanted to reach out to you regarding your efforts to save the show but didn’t know how to get in touch.”  The fuck?  Really?  My perfectly legible name is onscreen as the series co-creator and Executive Producer.  Also the writer on fully half the show’s script. That knowledge, combined with an awareness of something called google should have been all you needed.   Unable to get in touch?  Really?

So just in case you ARE looking to get in touch, this is the place.  Leave a comment here on the blog.  I read every one because I moderate every one.  And, because I moderate every one, if you want to discuss something on the down low, just say so and I won’t approve your comment for public consumption.

Twitter is an equally good way to get in touch.  Now, I know, twitter is, for the most part, the exclusive domain of rage-a-holics looking to roast people for the most seemingly inconsequential utterances and political partisans eager to dub anyone who disagrees with them doesn’t agree with them doesn’t wholeheartedly enthusiastically support everything THEY believe inhuman monsters, but it is a good way to reach out to people.

Failing that, you can always go with reddit where I am still fairly active in the Dark Matter, Stargate and, of course, fantasy football communities.

If you try to get in touch with me on facebook – well, you’re out of luck.  That Joseph Mallozzi facebook page was set up by a fan and while administrator privileges have been handed over to me, I rarely venture over.  My actual facebook account is under Baron Destructo – but I rarely bother checking that one out.  Let’s be real.  Facebook is only used by the elderly as a way of keeping in touch with distant family.  I am honestly amazed it’s still kicking around.

Yeah, I have an instagram account, but I’ll be damned if I know how to use it. Last week, Akemi showed me how to access the messenger section of the app and I discovered an archive of old unread texts dating as far back as 2016.  And, I’ll be honest.  It’ll probably be another two years before I check again.

Probably the best way to get in touch is the most direct.  Just stop me in public and say hi.  As was the case the other day when, while on my way to a pitch, a woman stopped and asked “Are you Jeff?”  “No, but do you need a Joe?”I asked. “Jeff,”she said.  “No, Joe,”I said.  “Joe Mallozzi,”she said.  Turns out she was a producer and huge Stargate: Atlantis fan.  And, also, she WAS saying Joe (as Vanessa later informed me).   So, yes, the direct personal approach is best, but there’s no guarantee I’ll understand what you’re saying.

November 19, 2018: Get In Touch.  Or Not.

Pictured: Lynne and Jeff.

So, after much back and forth and spending of money for upgrades, and working through a plethora of bugs, and spending even more money, we finally settled on this blog theme.  What do you think?  Me?  I hate it.

53 thoughts on “November 19, 2018: Get in touch. Or not.

  1. First let me say thank you for doing mailbags… it’s so awesome that you keep in touch with all of us! My question for you is what advice would you give a new writer trying to get into the industry? Thanks!

  2. Here’s just a spitball/BS kind of question… If you could take your original cast of Dark Matter and cast them in a new, completely different show, how would you cast them and what kind of show would it be? For example, would you do a sitcom (not your genre, I know…) knowing that the actors are so funny, or would you do something that pushed all of them in different ways? This isn’t something I would expect anyone to hold you to, just curious to see a fun idea or two pop out!

  3. I was wondering, is “Teal’c” derived from “TLC”, as if trying to phonetically pronounce “TLC”? Which would be amusing, since “TLC” is an acronym for “Tender Loving Care.”

  4. Why did STARGATE’s producers have a relationship develop between Samantha Carter and Pete Shanahan, then sever it just as they were about to marry? Was there a “real world” complication?

  5. Ha ha, Yeah, I hear you Joe. That cock and bull story about wanting to help you but didn’t know how to reach you? What a crock ! Thanks for letting us know. My question is: how many of the DM cast do you catch up with and what are the chances they could all be available IF IF IF you were able to bring a season 4 to air?

  6. Facebook is only used by the elderly as a way of keeping in touch with distant family.

    Well I do use Facebook for keeping in touch with the distant (physically not emotionally) relatives. Maybe I can use this as evidence for the Senior discount at Denny’s?

    “Are you Jeff?” “No, but do you need a Joe?”I asked. “Jeff,”she said. “No, Joe,” I said. “Joe Mallozzi,”

    Dang…she wasn’t supposed to expose the next steps of our evil “Jeffs taking over the world” master plan. You heard nothing, right? RIGHT? Good.

  7. Thanks for doing another mailbag, Joe……

    How many main characters are there in your UAP?

  8. As for the mailbag:

    Have you and Akemi got an itinerary mapped out for your Japan trip? I’m hoping for some vicarious Japan foodie tour type of posts…

  9. When we first nattered on Twitter it was because i’d had one of my usual late-night thoughts about how/where/when so and so was created, which happened to be SG1 that time and the hope of some new series. A bit of typing on google as you wrote, and your name popped up on Twitter and the rest is history.I get it, if you’re not in the know and barely used twitter and internet searches before then it does seem crazy to think producers, celebs and so on are suddenly more approachable, but if your job is in entertainment of some sort and you are a noob…well maybe you shouldn’t be in that job >.<

    Anyhoo, i’ve a question for you Jeff: What’s been your weirdest/creepiest/funniest moment in meeting a fan in person, even if they were just passing and maybe did a double take.

  10. Hi, Joe. Thanks again for answering questions (always enjoy seeing what others have to ask and responses).

    So I have a quick question about Lulu. I know how old Suji is and her backstory, but not so much about Lulu. Was she adopted around the same time as Suji (also is she around the same age as well)? Also, with future rescues/adoptions, would you focus on just pugs and frenchies or are you open to other breeds?

    Just curious – thanks!!

  11. Geoff, I mean Joe…
    If you ever want to do something totally different, please write a book, create a course or at least do a YouTube or at the very least do a post or 5 season series on how…
    You get so much done.

    In the unreal world of business, read busyness, your output is incredible. Plus the food, family and pet time. We need your help! Teach us oh wise and prolific master

  12. Next time I spot you across a crowded building lobby I’ll make sure I shout out “Jeff!”

    Mailbag: I asked this a couple of days ago. What does “UF” stand for? Or is it still a secret?

    Mailbag: If the planets align and you end up with two, three, or more projects greenlit at the same time would you have to drop any of them? Or will you be able to schedule things so you can work on all of them?

    The theme sucks. I think it looks like a 13 year old’s Myspace page. Sorry! And I miss being able to use formatting in comments: This is bold. This is italic. This is underlined.

  13. I just want to thank you for being so open with how things work behind the scenes. It really helps me have a greater understanding of how the television world works and why sometimes my heart gets broken. (Nope. Not over Dark Matter.) I check out your blog often and I’m never disappointed. Also, CUTE DOGGIES!

  14. So how was I supposed to get in touch with you then? Leave it here leave it there dont leave at that one place but put it somewhere else. Damn I’m so confused. I’ll just hit you up on the Twitter. Oh! And Mack says “hey suji”

  15. Just seeing the word “mailbag” got me thinking about actual mail. I used to get/give great mail as a kid. I’d send you folks a letter, maybe a mixtape if you did that. I know it’s all playlists now.

  16. Hmm. I’m having difficulty thinking of a question for the mailbag, but I am looking forward to the answers to some of the other questions, though.

    I’ll echo Jeff’s comment that I hope we get some good foodie pics from Japan. I feel the urge to go on a virtual culinary tour!

    I think the blog looks fine. I do still have an issue though where it does not save my email and name, regardless of selecting the “Save my name, email, and website for the next time I comment” control.

  17. Hi Joe. Long time reader, first time commenter. I’m a huge Stargate and Dark Matter fan, and I would love to have a career in television production someday. Your behind the scenes tidbits have been very insightful.

    My question is, who decides how many episodes a show gets per season? The standard for most broadcast dramas used to be 22, but a lot of shows are moving to 13 eps, and some shows like True Detective only have 8 episodes. Does it mess with your game plan for the season if the network orders more episodes for a season after production has already started?

  18. Mailbag question: Since you were so curious about our shower preferences, how about yours?

    Here in California we are in a drought, so, in the interest of saving water, co-showering or separate?

    I conserve water by sharing my shower with my Chihuahua when he needs cleaning. We also share ice cream together….from the same spoon. I suspect I have more germs than him. Ummm, maybe it’s time for another shower.

  19. After reading your comments about Facebook you may be interested to know that the family I use it to keep in touch with is my Stargate family. Friends living all over the UK I met at the chevron conventions dating back 10years now. The last one was 2years ago so this is a good way to keep in touch.

  20. I don’t know about other people, but finding you on Twitter was no problem. Simply typed Dark Matter and walla!!! There you were!!! EZPEEZEE!!! Joe, at this point after your RUMBLING article, any news on the progress of our beloved DARK MATTER??? Respectfully, The Dunn family

  21. OK. I take it back. It looks like formatting does work. But the reply button doesn’t! Not for me anyway. I just get a Javascript error in the console.

  22. If I know how to get in touch, it can’t be that hard! I’m not entirely sure I would recognize you in person; I once walked by my own mother on the street. I’m not good with faces. And I’m shy, no, really.

    Facebook is how I stay in touch with most of my Burning Man friends, my Navy mom friends, Utah burners, and yes, family. Reddit is weird. I spend a lot of time on r/widowers lately. It is a strange club to be a part of. I have twitter. I rarely check it as it is not on my phone. I moderate on eplaya, the Burning Man board. Very quiet this time of year. I’m also on Navyformoms, helping the families and loved ones of new recruits figure out what the Navy is doing to their kids. I even have a DeviantArt account and sell a few prints there now and then. Very few. And a blog with six readers, although I have zero clue if they’re the same six each time, or how they have found it.

    Mailbag. Hmmm. Do you ever visit shrines or temples in Japan? I loved them, big, little, or tiny roadside niches. Just fascinating to me. Do they interest you at all? Thanks, Jeff.

  23. I like the blog theme, however there are two things I don’t like about it:

    On the main page, after reading the current entry, I have to scroll all the way back up to the top to click and read the comments. It would be handy if there was a link to the comments at the bottom of your daily entry.

    Then, after reading all the comments, I have to scroll all the way up to the top of the comments to leave a comment. It would be handy if the comment box was at the bottom of all the comments. But, I’m sure there are others who think, “I don’t give a damn what everyone else says, I like the comment box at the top where I can easily get to it.” So… both places?

  24. Ok, I’m reaching out, ha ha. But seriously though, here is the question: What was the most amazing, fantastic and utterly world transforming idea you ever had for a series or episode that was totally shot down? Thanks!

  25. No questions at the moment; at least, not any you can answer because they would be related to your works in progress.

    Like JeffW and gforce, I’m looking forward to food blogs from Japan. My travel at the moment is all vicarious and you go to swell places, so I’m happy to tag along.

    Blog theme: I vote no. It’s not quite there yet. And I miss the snow.

    Facebook: yeah, you’ve got that mostly right. I pretty much use it to keep track of friends and family spread out across the country. However, I know a few twenty-somethings that use it to organize parties and send out group invitations.

  26. Mailbag question:

    How would you rank (best to worst) the following Japanese foods (feel free to add more to the list):

    Sushi
    Nigiri
    Sashimi
    Maki
    Temaki
    Teriyaki
    Tempura

  27. Mailbag question: I’m sure you’ve met many people in the TV and movie industry (actors, directors, writers, etc.), have you ever been “star-struck”?

  28. Do you ever read a book and think “That would make a great movie or series?” If so, how do you approach the author (have you ever approached an author?)? Or have you ever suggested an author to another director/producer looking for a pitch?

  29. I hate Instagram with its backward interface & old-school commenting system. I also hate Facebook for similar reasons, but I’m old and you say I have to use it so there’s that.

    I’ve tried to get into Reddit, but it also seems so old-fashioned. I use an almost identical system called Usenet that’s been around forever. I still prefer it over Reddit, but I think it’s because I’ve run across more asshats on Reddit than Usenet.

    I tried ChapSnat (yes, that’s what I call it), but apparently after a certain age one’s synapses refuse to recognize that system as anything more than a mass of confusion. Besides, anything I can’t run on every platform I will automatically hate. Doubly so if it’s popular with those darned kids and their dog.

    Oh, and since I prefer Twitter over all the aforementioned social media platforms I want to know just what the hell you’re trying to say about me? You probably voted for a goat. I’m not an inhuman monster, you’re the inhuman monster! Look at this funny dog GIF, please RT & follow.

    Wait … was I supposed to ask a question?

  30. Omg im old because i rarely use Twitter and i Facebook everyday hey at least I feel somewhat youngish.

  31. Thanks Joe 🙏🏻

    I’m fine with keeping this private, but up to you.

    I’ve started following you on Twitter since beginning my binge of the Stargate canon. To wit, I restarted my run-through of Dark Matter before finishing S3, just for my girlfriend’s sake. So… 😂 I’m watching SG-1 and Atlantis in tandem, while watching Dark Matter S1 & S3 simultaneously. I feel ridiculous, but we ARE enjoying it, and I hope you take it as a professional compliment.

    I really appreciate the didactic integrity of your narrative structure, and the savvy attention to detail that makes your fictions feel so grounded. I was first exposed to Stargate Atlantis, and I’ll admit that some episodes of SG-1 S1 had me up in arms over logical inconsistencies, because I was so spoiled by the seamless writing on Atlantis. Of course, SG-1 shaped up nicely by S2 and overall it’s been a treat to enjoy some of the finest sci-fi writing I’ve ever known. It really is the most plausible scenario to begin with; a stable wormhole is technologically as far beyond our grasp as FTL, but once it’s established in the world, the technology seems perfectly intuitive and takes the viewer from where we are now to practically everywhere we could be. As well, the rationality of the logistics in all your shows are one of the things I enjoy most about your work.

    I’ve never written a screenplay until starting recently, but I’ve done enough self-study to know how simple it can be and how difficult it is to do well. I had a nice exchange with Steven Lisberger, the writer of Tron, about a story I’m working on that I feel would make a good Black Mirror spec script. I also have 13 other stories that I’ve cooked up in my spare time on Evernote, and I’ve decided to take the mad plunge of producing all of them in parallel as graphic novels, for consideration as film adaptations. I have already solicited illustrators for each story, and my grand design is to pay them $300 up-front for completed covers and concept sketches, which I intend to use for 13 separate Kickstarter’s, for their respective art budgets. I’m cognizant of the liability issues that prevent you from being too open to submissions, but I think you’d be genuinely tickled by some of the premises. I believe one writes their best TV when they’re writing the show that they would wish to watch. And on that note, could you comment on the specific pleasures of writing dialogue for Teal’c? It’s so buttery & noble, and his lines are so beautifully appropriate to his Olympian bearing. It never fails to crack me up…

    Aside, I’ve also recently published a strategy/rap card game on hip hop culture, called “Legend of the Cipher: the Game of Hip Hop”.
    http://www.LegendoftheCipher.com
    • Please have a look.
    (Feel free to buy a copy 😉)

    As a fan of Asimov and Buckminster Fuller, I think you’re probably the most consistently solid contemporary sci-fi writer I can name, and I would jump at the chance to support your work in any capacity. I’m pining for the opportunity to make friends with some truly excellent writers, but even though I live in Hollywood it hasn’t come to pass yet. I’m sure you must be spoiled for choice when it comes to talent, but I would definitely show up for anything I’m invited to. Just FYI. I have a natural propensity for story and dialogue, a decent vocabulary, and a genuine yearning to be useful.

    My primary vocation is teaching Tai Chi and practicing a special form of Tai Chi healing that supplants the need for massage or chiropractic. I would of course welcome you for a private lesson or treatment anytime, at your convenience.
    http://www.discovertaiji.com
    http://www.hmehealing.com

    That’s about all I have to say for the moment, and I’ll say thank you again for being so engaged. I don’t mind telling you that I’m looking to you as a modest example for engaging my own small but growing following.

    Thank you Joe 🙏🏻

    Best wishes,
    Ben Sanchez
    Tai Chi, Tabletop Hip Hop, and Storytelling

  32. I really miss Dark Matter so much! I actually finally just met someone else in the astronomy department at my school who also watched it and it’s so good to have another person to talk to about it.
    My question: At what point in the process of making an episode do you add the music? (Yes I still want a release of the full score from Dark Matter.) Do you know before filming what you want it to sound like or is the score made first?

  33. I’m a little behind so sorry if this question has already been asked. You can answer or ignor me like you usually do. I’ve been busy preparing for Thanksgiving company that invited themselves and said we don’t want you to have to do anything. Yeah right.

    My question is, who is the horror author you are working with? Stephen King? Edgar Allen Poe? Is it someone you recently mentioned on Twitter in a list?

    I am very very excited to hear more about this project. Especially if it is scaring Akemi so bad.

    Thanks Jeff for answering our questions.

  34. Here is a Suji question. Do you think she is grateful? Could you tell she was happy to be adopted by you and Akemi?

    I wonder because they say some dogs seem to realize how lucky they are.

  35. No burning questions. My oldest son is watching Stargate for the first time. We just finished meeting the Tok’Ra – I can’t wait for season 4. It’s so much fun to finally introduce my favorite sci-fi show to him. I’ve seriously been waiting for this day since he was a baby 😀

  36. I would like to ask a personal question for your mailbag. Feel free to ignore it since it is none of my business, but I have been naggingly curious for a while now so I have to ask: Why aren’t you and Akemi married at this point?

  37. Good Morning Joe…or is it Jeff?

    Maybe she was saying Joseph and it sounded like Jeff? Anyway… I have to say what’s with this ‘I didn’t know how to get in touch’ BS?

    I thought the entertainment industry, once you were a part of it, was relatively small? Also they are in the industry it would have only taken a few calls or what have you to find you or at the very least your agent.

    I have lots of burning questions, many of which involve your new projects… like names and plots etc… oh and do you need an Aussie assistant? I’m great with dogs 😉

    Just out of curiosity, if by some magic SGA was back on the air or we stepped back in time and it was about to start it’s 6th season, where would pick it up/take it?

    Thanks for being such a legend!

    Cheers
    Christina xo

  38. Come on. You’re the most reachable producer I know. I also know for a fact that you do answer, which is uncommon and really REALLY appreciable.
    Concerning the blog theme; well, it’s not sexy but it does the job. Simple and efficient. As long as it’s solid and allow you to make your voice be heard properly, it’s fine. I guess.

  39. Honestly, I don’t like the new blog design. I liked the simplicity of the old wordpress blog. As you may know, I don’t handle change well. I mean, I still have a flip phone, a land line, a checkbook, and a manual toothbrush! My mom just ordered a Ninja Foodi and when I found out I had a mini-meltdown. Not sure how to make the jump from pots and pans to the big black monstrosity sitting on the counter. What can I say, this old dog just doesn’t learn new tricks easily. She also doesn’t like ugly appliances.
    I tried twitter and couldn’t figure it out. I don’t even know what Reddit is. Instagram is just a ‘look at me’ platform. I’m on it, but I get bored just looking at me…and you…and everyone else. Facebook is also a ‘look at me’ platform, but with the added benefit of actually being able to have a sort of conversation. Sort of. I only use Facebook now, even though I sort of hate it. But it’s all I can handle. See second to last sentence in point 1 above.
    Do you have a new snail mail mailing address? I may have missed it. I may have asked before and have since forgotten. I know I’ve forgotten to mail things to you…so I ate them instead. 🙂
    Now I’m hungry.
    Coke or Pepsi?
    You better say Coke. 😉
    What are your plans for the future if this showbiz thing doesn’t pan out? Have you ever considered becoming a personal chef? Asking for a friend.

    Have a happy! 🙂

    das

  40. Well Jeff, I think this blog theme looks okay.

    So what kind of “team” can’t get a hold of a producer in the industry? Or use The Google? Probably best they didn’t get in touch. THREE would be carrying a stick with a flashlight duct taped to the end instead of Bubba.

    No questions today.

  41. Hi Joe.
    A couple of mailbag questions here…
    Have you ever visited London, UK?
    Would you ever consider popping over (again?)?
    If asked, would you ever consider being a guest on a convention panel with any of our Raza crew members?
    Thanks for this opportunity to ask you 😊
    Looking forward to your answers to all questions asked here!

    Just to add, I’m a tweeter myself and must confess I have only found the very best of people here, people I consider best of friends for a lifetime. Just saying ….

  42. Hey Joe.
    1) When your show idea gets picked up, are there negotiations before production begins about what things the Studio/Broadcaster can demand changes for and what things you demand that they take it or leave it? How much control do you contractually retain?
    2) When you pitch your show ideas, what keeps a Studio from rejecting your ideas and then 6 months later creating a project that mirrors 80-90% of your original idea? Say you pitched a 5 year show with a mind-blowing-never-seen-before plot twist for the Finale. What keeps that awesome idea from being slightly modified and stolen?

  43. I’m just waiting for more Dark Matter revival updates. Huge fan of the show and Stargate SG-1. We need more shows like these…or better yet, more episodes of these shows! LOL

  44. The new blog is fine and I can open it, so win-win! I was looking at website yesterday and it was in a bright pink (‘My eyes!”).

    A few of the others asked about your Japan trip itinerary, so I’ll go with that too.

  45. Oh shoot. I meant dialectic integrity, not didactic integrity. That was a voice typo. But it does remind me of what I think is the best (only?) joke I’ve ever written:

    What do you call a giant flying lizard that teaches you things?

    A pterodidactyl

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