March 13, 2016: Things That Have Landed On My Patio But, Thankfully, Not My Head.  Yet.
The view from my patio of the neighboring construction positively looming overhead.

Last year, when we lived in this apartment, Akemi would joke that the construction on neighboring building was so close that she could play catch with the construction workers.  Well, we returned to the same apartment this year to find the construction had inched just a tad closer.  How close?  Well, THIS close –

March 13, 2016: Things That Have Landed On My Patio But, Thankfully, Not My Head.  Yet.

I mean, forget about catch.  She can just hand the ball over the one foot gap separating our patio and theirs.

If you’re wondering about that impromptu safety tarp that covers roughly one eighth of the balcony – well, you’re not the only one.  It seems a bit of a half-hearted gesture considering the wide array of interesting items I discover every time I step outside in the morning.

For instance, over the last month, the following have landed on my patio from the towering construction site next door:

March 13, 2016: Things That Have Landed On My Patio But, Thankfully, Not My Head.  Yet.

Styrofoam chunks!

March 13, 2016: Things That Have Landed On My Patio But, Thankfully, Not My Head.  Yet.

Random plastics!

March 13, 2016: Things That Have Landed On My Patio But, Thankfully, Not My Head.  Yet.

Rusty nails!

March 13, 2016: Things That Have Landed On My Patio But, Thankfully, Not My Head.  Yet.

A hunk of wood!

March 13, 2016: Things That Have Landed On My Patio But, Thankfully, Not My Head.  Yet.

Pieces of concrete!

March 13, 2016: Things That Have Landed On My Patio But, Thankfully, Not My Head.  Yet.

A discarded take-out coffee cup!

March 13, 2016: Things That Have Landed On My Patio But, Thankfully, Not My Head.  Yet.

Whatever these are!

March 13, 2016: Things That Have Landed On My Patio But, Thankfully, Not My Head.  Yet.

A long piece of wood…

March 13, 2016: Things That Have Landed On My Patio But, Thankfully, Not My Head.  Yet.

With several nails sticking it out of it!

March 13, 2016: Things That Have Landed On My Patio But, Thankfully, Not My Head.  Yet.

And last, but certainly not least: This post-it note reminder to google search the 4 steps of “Worker Awareness”.  I suspect they’re missing a few.

24 thoughts on “March 13, 2016: Things that have landed on my patio but, thankfully, not my head. Yet.

  1. Holy crap! That’s downright dangerous, Joe. There must be someone to complain to about that. I mean, that’s a board with a nail in it! It’s clear that they need their post-it note back as a reminder.

  2. Oh my gosh – I got nervous reading your post. Keep that cup and post-it note for evidence if something horrible happens. Hopefully not. Maybe you can do the Google search for them. Write out the 4 steps of safety awareness on a paper plane and send it by air mail to them. Make sure you wear a construction hat before stepping out to do so. 😜

  3. Blimey Joe! That is not good! OK, some of those things could have blown over but not the concrete and wood (with nails!!). Surely the site manager should sort this out asap!
    P’raps you should get your props guys to rustle something up to scare the bejeebers out of the construction workers so they’ll be more careful in future!

  4. Wow; a stray empty coffee cup is one thing. pieces of wood with nails sticking out of them is another. Gotta be someone to talk to about this.

  5. Ah, our poor dear sweet Joey Mallozzi. So sorry to hear you’re still feeling stressed today eh. 🙁

    There now. Easy does it. Slow Deep breaths. Remember to exhale. Those construction guys may not care But hopefully you know we do and that
    we love you. xo

    I promised you I would – So I’ll be sure to get those housing option details typed up and sent to you tonight. In the mean time – sending warmest hugs and dreams of some lovely drunken uncles your way. 🙂

    Sounds like a good day to treat yourself to a pistachio macaron. A long leisurely walk with your boy Bubba, Followed by a couple good stiff shots of whatever bourbon you can get your hands on Then perhaps calling a good friend ya might not have spoken to in a while, who always manages to make ya laugh.

    I cant promise ya its all gonna be ok. Cause really that all depends on you. Albeit, I can tell ya, There’s a pretty good chance the sun will rise again tomorrow. That you’ve put all your heart n soul into season 2 and thus so far it sure sounds like its going to be one helluva awesome ride for us fans this summer!! xo

    And when the sun “does” rise again tomorrow it offers a brand new opportunity to find the joy and feel the love. <3

  6. OMGosh!! That is so dangerous!! Save everything that is landing on your porch. Show it to your building manager. (Don’t let him take any of the evidence.) Surely they can talk with the construction office about this hazard. This is a huge liability for the construction people and your apartment management if they choose to do nothing more to keep their residents safe after you have shown them what is raining down. They should cover your entire porch with a safety net.

  7. TheOtherOne wrote: “P’raps you should get your props guys to rustle something up to scare the bejeebers out of the construction workers so they’ll be more careful in future!”

    Yeah! How about a dead body on your balcony with that piece of wood through it’s head. That would be awesome!

  8. As a construction worker (electrician), I can tell you that those short “tubes” are cut off pieces of “cor-line”. You run those in the wall to connect junction boxes, then after concrete is poured you have a tube to run your wires in. Likely the stray cutoff pieces were blown over the edge, or tossed there by the people pouring the concrete.

    The board with nails in it is part of the wooden concrete forms. It’s put in the corners so instead of having a sharp 90° edge you have two 45° edges as your corner.

    While it’s a nice thought to put the curtain up, in reality it really should be larger to keep your balcony completely free of stray, potentially dangerous falling debris. I would recommend staying off your balcony between the hours of 7:00 and 5:00, just to be safe.

  9. Oh, and the “random plastics” is from the plumber. They put that on the form so that after the concrete is poured and you knock the plastic spacer out and throw it on someone’s balcony, you’re left with a large hole to run drain pipes between floors.

    Overall, I would blame the guys taking apart the wooden concrete forms. You’re just lucky none of the actual forms have come flying down, and it’s all just the little pieces attached to them.

  10. I guess that 5th step is a duesie. Reminds me of an incident many years ago while working in downtown. I was on the 6th and some guy tried to do a bird imitation from the 33rd. Didn’t go well.

  11. Akemi and the Studio might want to take out some extra insurance on you.
    Document EVERYTHING! [Set up a Construction-Nanny-Cam!]
    File a complaint with THE CITY — There must be By-Law Building Code violations galore going on here.
    Contact the Local News Station to do a “story” on it. – [free publicity for the Show!]
    Perhaps let the local SPCA know that your Dogs’ lives could be in danger from all this crap. Who knows what kind of loose screws and such might be lurking about!
    Get HARD-HATS [and signed Injury Waivers] for Anyone who ventures out onto the patio.
    Have someone in Special Effects construct some nifty devices out of JUST those Pieces! – Label it as “DARK MATTER”!

  12. G’day

    Bloody hell that is dangerous.
    Take all the evidence to the building manager. Report it all.
    Make sure you wear a hard hat whenever out on the patio and get one each for the dog’s and gorgeous Akemi. Cannot have any of your family getting hurt.

  13. Definitely a hazard, especially for the pups as well as humans! I’d be pissed & be tossing that crap back over the “safety net” after taking pics. Does Toronto have a Board of Building Safety/Inspections? I’d call them!

  14. @Ganymede! OMG! LOL! 😀 Hey! How’s your new great nephew doing?

    By the way: Ya never did tell us how many pounds he weighed at birth and his name so we could celebrate the new family addition with ya! 🙂

    @Joe M. Ok Handsome .. Now that ya got the natives all good n riled up here! I sent the Season 3-5 housing option details your way. LOL

    Albeit I sent it via Jay Firestones direct inbox and copied to you because I also enclosed a Season 2 promotions proposal I want to obtain his permission for and make you aware of at the same time. Its something already planned out/drafted. Just needs approval from both of you prior to page layout, production & release. xo

    If I by the off chance managed to screw up in the cc & bcc address posting and you do not receive your copy of the post. Please accept my apologies and contact Jay in the next 48 hours to forward it to you. It’ll be in his box marked For: Jay FireStone & Joseph Mallozzi From: NS101 Drea Crysel.

    Hope you’re feelin in better spirits today! <3

    Sending Mucho Hugs n Love to all! from this funny overly affectionate Greek alien pretending to be human while visiting with you funny and apparently Ferocious!! creatures on this rock. XO

    Dang! Especially you! Patricia @ArcticGoddess!!!!!
    If Joe ever needs to have anyone permanently "Taken Care Of"
    -I guess He knows EXACTLY! WHO to call now,eh! YIKES!!!! 😀
    .

    <3 <3 <3
    Blog regulars 4 life

    BECAUSE WE'RE DANGEROUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  15. Nothing handier than a stick with rusty nails in it. Perfect for those days when your craving a tetanus shot or just a fun case of lockjaw.

  16. Perhaps they are Dark Matter Fans hoping to help you out with props and building materials for the show. Although that note, not quite sure if it is ironic or a them letting you know that they’ve realized there is a problem and are working on it. If nothing else it dose make every day an adventure when you go to stop out on your patio to find out what else is there.

  17. Wow. I’m impressed you took pictures of each thing when you found it and somewhat amused by the collection. Since your prop department tries to sneak “cosmic bongs” into the set perhaps you can play tit for tat and sneak “crap that falls on your patio” into the set…

  18. I can’t add anything else to what people have already suggested except when you know they are working, it’s too bad you don’t have a scrap gun like they have in Fallout 3 and 4 where you can load up “junk” and have it kill people; even collected teddy bears can become ammo, and send it over across the netting.

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