“Excuse me! Excuuuuuse me!”the guy in the bathrobe called out to the hospital staff. “Can I have a yogurt?” When it became clear he wasn’t getting one, he sighed, strolled into an examination room, turned off the lights and went to sleep. There he snoozed peacefully away – until he was chased out by a doctor about twenty minutes later.
As the elderly lady in the gurney started to regale a nurse with tales of her recurring bowel obstructions, I checked my phone. I’d already been there three hours – but, in that time, I’d accomplished quite a bit: read three graphic novels, one novel novel, taken a blood test, an EKG, and a chest x-ray. Seemingly out of tests, and reading materials, there was nothing left to do but wait. And avoid eye contact with the bearded starer roaming the hall.
I’d been suffering from what I’d termed “a sore lung” for going on almost two weeks, a dull ache that manifested whenever I took a deep breath – or lay down for any extended period of time. When the initial visits to my doctor yielded no definitive results, I decided to get a second opinion. Dr. Google’s findings were more expansive and, potentially, more dire, running the gamut from strains and pleurisy to embolisms and cancer. And so, suitably terrified, I decided to get a third expert’s opinion.
The blood work, EKG, and x-ray came back all clear. I wasn’t suffering from any of the more tragic possibilities. And it was unlikely I was suffering from a blood clot.
Hang on. Unlikely?
Well, yes. The doctor informed me that the only way to know for sure would be to do a ct scan, but he wasn’t convinced I needed one and it would mean being subjected to more radiation. I gave it some thought and decided to what the hell. It had worked out for Peter Parker and Bruce Banner. Besides, I had a few hours to kill before I had to wake up and put that turducken in the oven.
They hooked me up to an i.v., pumped the blue liquid through my veins, and ran me through the humming machine like a leftover dinner on sensor reheat. And, when all was said and done – another all clear. I was perfectly healthy! Except for the whole sore lung thing. I still don’t know what THAT is.
Anyway, having received the clean bill of heart health, I was able to enjoy THIS today…
[Thanks to Rob for the charcuterie platter, Ivon for the pie and ice cream, Tio for the laughs, and Akemi for EVERYTHING else including the turducken she popped in the oven at 5:30 a.m. to ensure it was cooked in time for lunch.]
After all is said and done, I’m glad I went and got checked out. I can finally rest easy knowing it isn’t anything serious.
Instead, I’ll just worry about the alarming amount of radiation I was subjected to.