Well, no sooner do I make the grand announcement, letting the world know that my good friend Ivon Bartok had won the role of The Android on my new series, Dark Matterthan I have to recast the role – this the result of Ivon contravening the strict non-compete clause in his contract.  The provision actually has nothing to do with our actors getting jobs on other shows but specifically prohibits them from being competitive against me in my fantasy football league. This weekend, Ivon and his team, The Running Dead, were in breach of contract when they beat my Snow Monkeys, dropping them to .500.

As a result, we’re recasting the role of The Android.  Although acting ability is important, preference will be given to candidates who already have their own robot costume since the production already blew its Android wardrobe budget on Ivon’s outfit –

November 9, 2014: Seeking Actor/actress With Own Robot Suit!
Beep meep boop!

Which he apparently took home with him along with the lemon squares from tomorrow’s catered lunch and Roxanne, one of our set PA’s.

Since word got out that we were recasting the role, we’ve had many great performers throw their (spring-loaded boots and motorized) hats into the ring:

November 9, 2014: Seeking Actor/actress With Own Robot Suit!

Mandy Patinkin!


November 9, 2014: Seeking Actor/actress With Own Robot Suit!

Annette Benning!


November 9, 2014: Seeking Actor/actress With Own Robot Suit!

Javier Bardem!


November 9, 2014: Seeking Actor/actress With Own Robot Suit!

Anne Hathaway!

November 9, 2014: Seeking Actor/actress With Own Robot Suit!

Daniel Day-Lewis!


November 9, 2014: Seeking Actor/actress With Own Robot Suit!

Morgan Freeman!


November 9, 2014: Seeking Actor/actress With Own Robot Suit!

Dame Judi Dench!


So many great possibilities.  And the actors to go with them!

19 thoughts on “November 9, 2014: Seeking actor/actress with own robot suit!

  1. These are better choices as the aging won’t be so apparent going into the third feature film release. I say go with Hathaway since casting the stand in will be a cinch.

  2. *sighs* Well, Dark Matter’s loss, I suppose. 😉 Although, SOMEBODY has to do the DVD special features, right?

    Oh, pick Judi Dench! She always brings class to whatever she’s in. Including a robot costume! But not including that terribly written Skyfall. Yeesh.

  3. You could hire me at a fraction of the cost of those big stars. FYI, I could do double duty as a house sitter too. ;).

  4. LMAO… I’ve decided I’m a jinx to all Quarterbacks in Fantasy. I had Nick Foles & Andy Dalton. then Nick got injured & will be out for a month or more so I dropped him and picked up Carson Palmer. Played him once and he injured his knee, so I’ll have to swap him. how did Andy Dalton do? Negative Fantasy points. At this stage I think I’d be better playing empty at the position. Strangely though I’ve only lost two games so I can’t really complain.

    Sad that Ivon won’t be Android. I’d already printed fan t-shirts. I guess Morgan Freeman would be OK. He has a nice voice, but can he cook Chilli & Paleo Muffins?

    Good luck Joe.

    Hope all are well…. I’ve been moving furniture & purging junk at my house.

    Cheers, Chev

  5. So Ivon is not “the one”? That’s low down and dirty. Don’t toy with poor Ivon, or me. I’m the gullible one here.

  6. I’m pulling for Anne Hathaway. Simple, but elegant, and chromey. Easy to buff out all the laser weapon hits.

  7. I’m sure Google’s lawyers would have had something to say about Ivon’s costume, anyway.

    Even though I love Dame Judi my vote is for Mandy Patinkin. He’s brilliant! And can sing, too! Perfect for the musical episode in season 4!

  8. Javier is gonna kill it, I rewatched Skyfall last weekend just for him. Okay, for Daniel Craig’s abs too.

    I’m still coming down from Interstellar and the thousand questions my sister had about it.

    I made brussells sprouts with bacon and asparagus. I roasted the brussells sprouts with minced garlic and onions in half the pan and bacon on the other side. I should have less bacon because the brussells sprouts soaked up way too much oil but it was still amazing. I added skinny asparagus close to the end, let them get tender and it was so good. Next time I’ll let the bacon cook first before adding the brussells sprouts, to let the bacon get crispier.

  9. We saw Prometheus he other day and I’m nominating Michael Fassbender as the android. Of course, that’s if Ivon is truly out of the running. Prometheus did have huge plot holes but M. F. was great as “David”.

  10. Being the showrunner you can do anything , right? Could you write a cameo for Ivon, on Dark Matter? That would be awesome.

    Cheers, Chev

  11. Joe, if there’s a musical episode in Season 4, I will PERSONALLY deliver a Beta5 Chocolate Union pack to your door every month for 6 months!*

    *Some restrictions apply. Offer may not be valid in certain provinces. Or anywhere.

  12. What about an Awesom-o 4000 type robot? I think the budget could stretch to a costume like this lol.(Excuse the dreadful quality, best I could find from this episode oddly enough).

  13. Hey…do you have room on that ship for a First Nations actor? ‘Cause I just stumbled across Wesley French (I first saw him in Skinwalkers, but was just reminded of him while watching an episode of Murdoch Mysteries – a.k.a. The Artful Detective ~ U.S. title). He’s very beautiful. 🙂

    Also, lots going on. I’ll tell ya about it someday.


  14. @das – Looked up his pic and you are quite right, I vote for Wesley French! And he’s six-two; what is in the water up north that all the people are smokin’ hot?

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