Today’s bizarre exchange with my Japanese girlfriend:
“Even elves need to do peepee, just like everyone else.”
“No, he just wanted sausage. Currywurst.”
Well, I am on a creative roll. In the past three days, I’ve delivered a draft of that Southern Gothic script, wrote the “alternate” draft, got 10 pages into that wildly over-the-top SF actioner (If Tarantino produced scifi, this would be it!), came up with two disturbingly memorable teasers for the two new scripts Paul and I are about to write – PLUS beat out rough outlines for both, AND put together a four page pitch for how I would translate “that book” to television. I’d like to chalk it up to discipline or being well rested or maybe even the inspiration offered by my accelerated reading pace, but I have a feeling much of the credit goes to the Knob Creek Single Barrel Reserve 9 Year Old Bourbon I picked up last week. On the one hand, I’m very pleased with my creative output and the fact that, when we hit L.A. in April, I’ll do so armed with a half dozen pilots. On the other hand, if none of these pilots have sold by this time in September, I’ll be less than pleased and may actually have to start considering alternate career options. A few of the ones I have in mind, in no particular order:
1. Professional Magic the Gathering touring gamer: But I’ll have to learn how to play first. It looks like a cross between Gin Rummy and Dungeons and Dragons. Am I close?
2. Llama farmer: What more is there to say?
3: CNN pundit: Probably the easiest to achieve since the position doesn’t require any actual qualifications.
4: NFL cornerback: Given the fact that I’ll be competing with men half my age, I’d have to temper expectations of actually winning a starting position. Unless, of course, I try out for the Philadelphia Eagles.
5: Amateur masseuse practice client: Sacrificing my body for a worthy cause.
6: Mystery drinker: Sort of like “mystery shoppers” except instead of being paid to shop and critique retailers, I’ll be paid to drink and critique bartenders.
7: Assistant to whatever YOU do: I’m going to need you to put in a good word.
This list is a word in progress, so feel free to offer suggestions.