Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog

January 16, 2014: An All Food Post!

·

,

1They just don’t make ’em like they used to.  Pictured above, Frosted Ribbon Loaf – layers of ham and egg nestled under a cream cheese frosting.   Yum!  I’m thinking of making it for this weekend’s football Sunday festivities.  I was inspired, not solely by the horrific picture, or the prospect of a ham and egg and cream cheese flavor combo, but the many other similarly dated yet no less interesting dishes that made this list:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ariannarebolini/truly-upsetting-vintage-recipes

Which came my way compliments of my friend, and fellow football enthusiast, Ivon Bartok, who no doubt had his heart set on the Ham and Bananas Hollandaise.

Just like mom used to make!
Just like mom used to make!

But what would football Sunday be without a grand dessert (provided you don’t count the cream cheese frosting on the ham and egg loaf as dessert)?  I was going to pick up some cream puffs, but changed my mind after reading about this far manlier option:

Spice base filled with tangy baked blue cheesecake mousse, topped with a hot sauce buttercream and crispy chicken sprinkles.
Spice base filled with tangy baked blue cheesecake mousse, topped with a hot sauce buttercream and crispy chicken sprinkles.

Buffalo Wings? Whiskey? Vancouver company making ‘manly …

Why have cupcakes when you can have mancakes?  Am I right?  (ManCakes Bakery)

Also, these –

1Just in case.  Available in a six-pack of flavors including lemon mascarpone to creamy pistachio and cherry meringue.  (Soirette Macarons and Tea – Buy Online).  Thanks to gforce for the tip.

So, yesterday, my friend Martin alerted me to this chocolate scam: http://gizmodo.com/science-finally-gives-us-a-way-to-authenticate-premium-1502035564

And today, I came across this article about oyster scams: http://www.yahoo.com/food/oyster-fraud-the-restaurant-industrys-dirty-little-72450900944.html

What’s next?  Phoney pho?  Fake foie gras?  Counterfeit cronuts?!!

One more congratulations!  This one goes to out to former Stargate VFX Supervisor Mark Savela for HIS Canadian Screen Award nomination  in the Best Visual Effects category for the Angry Birds episode of Primeval: New World!

Discover more from Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

Podcast also available on PocketCasts, SoundCloud, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, and RSS.

26 responses

  1. gforce Avatar
    gforce

    You know what’s kind of sad? Or maybe it’s actually impressive – Is that after reading your blog for this long that I would actually consider trying most of those dishes. They kind of remind me of the time I ate (on a dare) an After Eight Mint and tuna fish sandwich. It was… strangely tasteless.

    You have to let us know how those eclairs from Soirette are! They look fantastic. *wants*

    Yes, big congrats to Mark Savela! He deserves to win every award he’s nominated for. And the ones he isn’t! Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

    Reply
  2. gforce Avatar
    gforce

    Also, I see that Soirette is participating in the Hot Chocolate Festival. All four of their versions sound great. Make sure you guys try them out!

    Reply
  3. sylvia Avatar
    sylvia

    Dude, you need some Jazzy Cakes! Too bad they have not reached the point in marketing and production to ship.

    And, WINGS….love wings and football.
    ok…hungry again,

    Reply
  4. Marsha_R Avatar
    Marsha_R

    I wondered how many of those vintage recipes I might have seen before. Fortunately, the Perfection Salad is the only one I’ve ever been served, that or something very like it. In case there is any question, NO THINGS BELONG IN JELLO EVER. Also, I think #6 is the monster in your new horror script and #8 are its eggs. ewwww

    And yay for Mark!

    Reply
  5. IggyMing Avatar
    IggyMing

    Reminds me of my Dad’s old Betty Crocker cookbook from the 1950s. I was curious enough about the tuna casserole recipe that I actually made it (I think it may have even been topped with crushed potato chips)… needless to say, it was inedible. Took 2 bites and threw the rest away. One of my rules about choosing a recipe is to reject it if it considers a can of mushroom soup to be a sauce.

    Should you ever think that questionable recipes are relegated to the 50’s and 60’s, take a look at some of Paula Deen’s. Here’s something of hers that somehow passes as a “recipe”: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/toffee-brownies-recipe/index.html. Now, I’m not saying that it’s not good (I’ve never tried it), but how is it a recipe if it calls for a box of brownie mix??

    Reply
  6. dasndanger Avatar
    dasndanger

    This is kinda funny because I just got a recipe for an igloo cheese ball dip – and it IS adorable! Especially the black olive penguins!

    http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/igloo-spread-with-cream-cheese-penguins/3c411d56-1ba3-4f9a-9c5c-23b2c33ccb81

    And yes, most of those recipes sound horrific. However, some recipes that may sound terrible are actually very good. My mom makes a really good gelatin salad with carrots and mandarin oranges, and another with lime jello, cool whip?, and nuts. I think, however, many of those recipes from the late 50s through the early 70s were pretty much influenced by drugs of some sort. 😛

    Joe – quick question: When (if?) you make hot chocolate at home, what cocoa powder do you use? Something special, or just regular Hershey’s (or whatever they have up there in Canada)?

    das

    Reply
  7. Deborah Rose Avatar
    Deborah Rose

    I sometimes wonder if the people that like some of these offerings are the culinary equivalent of those whose olfactory senses make them enjoy the smell of skunk spray. Or if I am really missing out on something. I applaud your ability to find these things, online or in the real world. At least you have a starting point for weird foods if you elect to resume that tradition. Thank you for sharing.
    Aso, RIP Russell Johnson aka the Professor. As a kid, as idiotic as the show was, it was the Professor and his use of science (sort of), that kept me watching the show.

    Reply
  8. JeffW Avatar
    JeffW

    First congratulations to Mark Savela on his award, and congrats to those who won yesterday (I read yesterday’s post briefly due to a bad cold/chesty cough, so I’m sorry about not being more specific).

    On the cold front (pun intended), I’m a little grumpy. My daughter, Jackie, likes it when I’m grumpy; she thinks it’s funny. A case in point; we went shopping tonight for comfort food and beverages. I wanted to make a “Hot Toddy” like grandma used to make (Southern Comfort instead of JD), and get some soups and stews. I’m a little sick of Chicken Noodle, so I wanted to get some oysters to make oyster stew.

    Well, this is the part where I got grumpy. I was looking for Orange Pekoe tea (what my grandma always used) and after searching through a whole aisle of teas with Organic Orange Spice, Wild Blueberry Essence Chamomile, and Lemon Chiffon Green teas, I finally gave up and had to go with the Organic Orange Spice.

    This is when I started getting grumpy and began grumbling, “This is insane! How can you have all the traditional teas such as Darjeeling, Earl Grey, Irish Breakfast, Mint, English Breakfast, and Oolong teas and NOT carry Orange Pekoe? Half the aisle is devoted to organic essence whatever and no Orange Pekoe! Really?!?”

    I believe this is the point where Carl Binder would say something along the lines of “Damn Hippies!”.

    So now I’m walking around the store mumbling about organic teas and hippies, with Jackie giggling and pushing the cart when we head over to the seafood department so I can get some canned oysters for stew. Here’s where we have a repeat of the tea incident (and one of the reasons I hate seafood shopping in the Midwest). Looking in the cooler I see a dozen varieties of herring; pickled, smoked, in sea salt, packed in olive oil. I see a number of salmon packages; smoked, packed in olive oil, et cetera. I see imitation crab, lump crab, and crab claws. I see mussels packed in brine. I see gefilte fish.

    No oysters.

    What? Is this the wrong month? I start mentally tabulating the month…yep, January has an ‘R’ so it’s an oyster month.

    I look over at the disinterested seafood counter attendant and ask “Where are the oysters?” He shrugs and says “I don’t think we carry those.” He then turns around and heads to the back of the store in a way that suggests to me that he’s not coming back.

    Okay, well maybe I can find some in the canned soup aisle…not my favorite, but maybe better than nothing. So we start looking down the soup aisle, while I’m grumbling about the lack of packed oysters, and I find oysters in beef gravy soup (really?), I find oyster chowder (sorry, go get clam chowder if you want that; I’m not interested). And of course I find the various varieties of clam chowders.

    No oyster stew.

    Jackie then points out to me “Hey, they have oyster crackers!”

    Now, my grumbling goes into overdrive. “Why the heck have oyster crackers, but no oysters or oyster stew?!? The reason you call them OYSTER CRACKERS is because you have them with, you know, OYSTERS! How can you have oyster crackers an NO FRIGGEN OYSTERS! Uggh! What is it about the mid-west and decent seafood? We can fly in salmon! We can fly in Alaskan king crab! We can fly in herring and sardines, but we can’t fly in ONE FREAKING TUB OF OYSTERS?!?”

    Jackie starts giggling uncontrollably, and I realise I’m done. I grab a can of beef broth and say “Aww, the heck with it. Let’s call it a night.”

    Yes, colds make me grumpy.

    Reply
  9. dasndanger Avatar
    dasndanger

    Speaking of gross food combinations…

    PHILADELPHIA – January 16, 2014 (WPVI) — Philadelphia police have arrested a man they believe used Swiss cheese to sexually proposition unsuspecting women.

    The suspect, identified by authorities as 41-year-old Christopher Pagano, was arrested at his Norristown home Thursday.

    Investigators suspect Pagano is the man who reportedly drove up to women on several occasions and offered them money to put cheese on his genitals and perform a lewd act.

    The story went viral after a Philadelphia neighborhood town watch group posted a blurry cellphone picture on its Facebook page of a half-naked man in his car holding up what appears to be cheese.

    The group dubbed him the “Swiss Cheese Pervert.”

    http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=news/local&id=9396185

    I’m surprised he didn’t prefer monterey jerk… 😛

    das

    Reply
  10. JeffW Avatar
    JeffW

    And Soirette has eclairs?

    I guess we’ll be visiting them way more often during the next trip!

    Reply
  11. Ponytail Avatar
    Ponytail

    Ham and Bananas Hollandaise – now that’s just lazy.

    Reply
  12. Debra From The South Avatar
    Debra From The South

    LOL I think you should have NOT posted, invited all over for WONDERFUL food… then served those with a serious excited face… sort of like when you suckered your friend into trying the hot stuff in weird food video.

    Also… on the awards notices, Michael Shanks got a “Canadian Screen Award in the category of ‘Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role in a Dramatic Program or Mini-Series’ for his role as hockey legend Gordie Howe in Mr Hockey: The Gordie Howe Story.” (from MSOnline)

    Reply
  13. archersangel Avatar
    archersangel

    a lot of those vintage recipes are WTF-worthy.

    http://vintage-ads.livejournal.com/tag/regrettable%20foods

    http://vintage-ads.livejournal.com/tag/regrettable%20foods–no%20jello

    (some of this my repeat, because of multiple tags)

    Reply
  14. Carol Avatar
    Carol

    I’m glad someone else has noticed that Michael Shanks was nominated for a Canadian Screen Award..I did mention it a couple of days ago too when the news first broke…also congrats to Andy Mikita….wasn’t he a stalwart of the SG1 crew too?

    Ah yes, I found it…Andy does indeed get one for Direction for Mr Hockey..

    http://www.academy.ca/Canadian-Screen-Awards/2014-Nominees-Winners/Television

    Reply
  15. Peter Ståhl Avatar
    Peter Ståhl

    Hey Joe, just read about AKA, please tell us more!

    Reply
  16. Line Noise Avatar
    Line Noise

    The Ham and Bananas Hollandaise looked pretty good . . . until I realised it was bananas and not the chicken I originally thought it was. It was worth it going to that page just for the Banana Candle!

    Reply
  17. Maggiemayday Avatar
    Maggiemayday

    My mom made some of those dishes, and I think I still have the cookbook. And honestly, I’ve made a ribbon sandwich loaf for someone else’s party. Wedding or baby shower? The cream cheese frosting is not sweet. You fluff it up with mayo or some such crap, and can color it and pipe it. Oddly tasty. But then, I like good deviled ham, and I adore egg salad, so it wasn’t a stretch. The cocktails helped a lot too.

    Reply
  18. Deni Avatar
    Deni

    The Frosted Ribbon Loaf is actually good, depending on the fillings. I’m so old. 🙂 I’ve had it with egg salad and ham salad (with olives) and without the green stuff on the cream cheese, and it’s basically a cream cheese and whatever sandwich. 🙂 The green on the cream cheese really makes it look awful, though. I’ve had this one lots of times growing up, always for baby showers and such.

    Reply
  19. JeffW Avatar
    JeffW

    @Joe:

    My mom used to make a sliced corned-beef wrapped cream cheese and sweet gherkin pickle wraps for parties. Not quite on the level of the fish and jello combinations from Buzzfeed (can we all just agree that jello and fish should never mix?), but I thought the wrap was good.

    On the oyster article (which set off my grumpy rant earlier…sorry about that), I’ve often wondered about some of the taste texture differences. The oysters I grew up with (Chesapeake Bay oysters) are a sweet brackish water variety, so I tend to gravitate towards the sweeter/low-salinity types.

    Unfortunately, due to the oyster plagues and over harvesting, it’s rare to find Chesapeake Bay oysters in restaurants (although they seem to be making a comeback on the east coast). My fallback is the Malpeque and other PEI oysters. They seem to be the closest in texture and sweetness that I remember of the Chesapeake Bay oysters, although they seem to be missing a little of the ‘butteryness’ (can I make that a word?).

    I agree that it’s getting hard to tell exactly what type of oyster you’re getting anymore, and I expect that to only get worse as more and more aquatic farmers start their own oyster beds with a variety of source stock and water conditions. Maybe something akin to what has happened to wine where you had names describing the regions the wine came from coming to represent the taste of the wine instead (regardless of where it comes from). Merlot anyone?

    So, do you have a favorite oyster variety?

    Reply
  20. Mike from Canada Avatar
    Mike from Canada

    What’s next? Bung!
    Hog anus!.

    http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/484/doppelgangers

    Well, not really. But it makes for a good story.

    Reply
  21. Mike from Canada Avatar
    Mike from Canada

    Dasndanger

    I use a no name hot chocolate mix. I never noticed a difference between that and the name brands of hot chocolate.

    I usually prefer frozen mocha frappe drinks.
    I used to buy BigTrain mocha frappe mix from Costco, but they stopped carrying it at the local store. I emailed BigTrain asking about local distributors but they never bothered to reply. So I read the label of my last can and realized it’s just milk powder, sugar, instant coffee and cocoa powder, so I made a mix myself and have been using it ever since.

    100 grams skim or whole milk powder
    80 grams granulated sugar (I use vanilla sugar) as little as 60 grams (to taste)
    15 grams instant coffee
    15 grams cocoa powder

    I then blend them all together in a food processor to make a smooth even powder with no lumps of vanilla sugar or instant coffee granules. It’s about 1/4 the price of the mocha frappe mix I can get in the local supermarkets.
    It makes a great summer drink for a hot sleepy afternoon.

    I would have thought a nice soft spreadable cheese, like cream cheese. Too bad someone didn’t offer to spread it on with a steak knife or cheese grater. Would have served the perv right.

    Reply
  22. JeffW Avatar
    JeffW

    Opps, I should have said Chardonnay (a village that the original chardonnay wines came from), not Merlot (a color of grape). A wine connoisseur I am not.

    Reply
  23. gforce Avatar
    gforce

    @Das: I am totally NOT going with the obvious “cream cheese” joke.

    Er, maybe I just did.

    Reply
  24. skua Avatar
    skua

    @JeffW Im giggling uncontrollably too. 😆

    Reply
  25. Tam Dixon Avatar
    Tam Dixon

    That cupcake looked good and then I read the description. 🙁

    I’m enjoying everyone’s comments today. Somebody got them wound up!

    Reply
  26. PBMom Avatar
    PBMom

    Congrats to Mark. That was a wonderful episode. It was good seeing Patrick Gilmore on it, too. Sad the show didn’t get another season.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Latest episodes

Discover more from Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading