Akemi made banana bread last night.  I had it warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.  I was three bites in when I noticed it was possessed of a unique flavor that I couldn’t quite identify.  I asked Akemi if she had changed up the recipe.  In fact, she had:

“I used gremolata oil,”she informed me, referring to the infused oil we had picked up from The Vancouver Olive Oil Company before the holidays.

“Gremolata oil?”  I put my spoon down.  “Why would you use gremolata oil?”

“For the orange flavor,”she said.

“There’s no orange in gremolata.  It’s made with parsley, mint, garlic, and anchovies.”

“You said it’s orange flavor,”she insisted.  “Like the alcohol your mother drinks.”

It took me a couple of seconds before it twigged.  “You mean Grand Marnier?”

“Grand Marnier!”she wailed, double punching her thighs and doing a little bob before throwing me an accusatory look.  Invariably when these misunderstandings occur, I am somehow at fault.  Like that time she went shopping for seafood without success because no one at the St. Lawrence Market had “social crabs”.  Or would own up to the fact.  I tried to correct her but she insisted I’d never said soft-shell crabs but used the term “social crabs” all along – and I’m sure we can all agree these are two completely different things.

Other times, she contends that I’m the one who has misunderstood – like the day I caught her singing Karma Chameleon and corrected her lyrics.

“No,”I said.  “It’s karma karma karma karma karma chameleon.”

“Not come on come on come on come on come on comedian?”


“What karma chameleon mean?”

I shrugged.  I hadn’t a clue.  That was enough for her.  At least HER version made sense!

Hey, our friend Marty G. forwarded me the following link today:


I’ve already sent away for the home kit.

Finally, congratulations to Lawren Bancroft-Wilson and his team for their Canadian Screen Award nomination in the Best Visual Effects category for the Angry Birds episode of Primeval: New World.

PBMom writes: “Cool news about Echoes and Carl Binder and Rob Cooper: http://www.bellmediapr.ca/Network/Bell-Media/Press/Bell-Media-Announces-29-Drama-Projects-in-Development.”

And, yes, congratulations to Carl Binder and Robert Cooper as well.

33 thoughts on “January 15, 2014: Shit my Japanese girlfriend says!

  1. Sorry for a third comment but readers also check out “Strain” with the associated David and Kate Hewlett!

  2. Oh, poor Akemi! It must be frustrating indeed. Still, I laughed my head off at these, especially “social crabs”.

    Great news on “Echoes”, and I can’t wait to see it. Also, which of the projects wound up to be “AKA”? It does sound interesting!

  3. it’s a wonder that people can communicate at all between what you (the general you) said, what they think you said, what you meant, & what they think you meant. the problems are tripled when dealing a language other than your native one.

  4. @ Akemi – Don’t be too upset. Back when he was a teenager, Mr. Das made a beautiful – and perfect – chocolate cake. He put the icing on, and everything. He was so proud! When his parents came home, the first thing they noticed was a fishy smell in the house. The questioned hubby about it, and he said he had only baked a cake. When questioned about what oil he used, he pointed to a can next to the stove. Turns out he baked the cake with oil his dad used to deep fry fish! He make a chocolate fish cake!

    He was heartbroken when his parents threw it out, uneaten. 🙁

    @ Joey – Ahhh…good ol’ song lyrics. I think we had that conversation here before, and I said Mr. Das always thought AC/DC’s ‘Dirty deeds done dirt cheap’ lyric was ‘Dirty deeds and the thunder chief’, while my misheard lyric is Pearl Jam’s ‘Glorified version of a pellet gun’…only I hear it as ‘Glorified virgin on a pelican’. 😛 Point is, English is our native tongue and we still get it wrong, so give Akemi a break! I bet you do your fair share in mangling Japanese, but she’s probably just too much of a lady to make fun of you for it. 🙂


  5. If Echoes can get something, you should be able to get something Joe. Here’s hoping you have the same luck. I would love to read news of one of your projects being picked up for TV Joe.

  6. Wait so you and Paul have been something too? If so congrats. Saw a listing for AKA

    A serialized drama about a woman with the perfect life – and a dark secret that could change everything.
    • Thunderbird Films
    • Paul Mullie and Joseph Mallozzi (STARGATE SG-1)

  7. Hearty congrats on AKA, wonderful news! I think #AKA would have been cool too.

  8. Hearty congrats on AKA Paul & Joe. A perfect candidate for a hashtag in the title. Imho. #AKA – someone will do that, if not already.

  9. LOL – I love Akemi-isms and Akemi. @ Das – I had a friend whose brother thought it was ” Dirty jeans and dungarees”
    Congrats to Mr. Binder and Mr. Cooper!

  10. @Akemi – don’t be worry…it is NOT your fault. Joe has to speak more slowly.

    @Joe – YAY!!!! for AKA

    and we wait…wait….wait….for more news.

  11. social crabs made my day. I owe Akemi big for bringing a smile to my face for the first time today. Now, if only I have the nerve to ask for social crabs next time I go shopping at a fish market….

  12. Lots of interesting things on that list, but the first is the best! Congrats to you and Paul!

  13. By unique – was the banana bread tasty and Akemi actually made something awesome that I should be trying too?

  14. Thank you Joe and Akemi. I apologize, but I laughed so hard at “social crabs” I cried. I could just picture the sellers faces when she asked.

    Congrats to Mr. Binder and Mr. Cooper.

  15. Congrats on AKA! As for Akemisms, just love it. My family is a mix of German French, Filipino, and a few others, so family gatherings can be quite riot with accent misunderstandings and oddly translated cultural sayings. It’s fun.

  16. That made my day. Very funny!

    That, and I found a 10 hour loop of the Game of Thrones theme on YouTube. Guess what I’m listening to at my desk all day? http://youtu.be/5YU1TMazV3c

    Congratulations to all: LBW, Carl, Rob, Joe and Paul!

    AKA, Echoes, Soulhunter, Strain, Haunted all sound great.

  17. Nice, lots of interesting stuff there. Congrats!

    But did the banana bread taste okay?

  18. Come on comedian does make more sense. That banana bread sounds delicious with the gremolata; gremolata in corn bread would be tasty too.

    I authenticate my chocolate with my tastebuds; I found more Lindt Dark Coconut on sale today, putting me in chocolate heaven.

  19. Congratulations Carl Binder and Robert Cooper!

    Congrats AKA too! Can’t wait to see both shows!

    Akemi’s lyrics DID make more sense. Also, remember that CCR song lyric nearly everyone gets wrong? “There’s a bathroom on the Right”. (supposed to be “Bad Moon on the Rise”)

    On the Uber taxis yesterday…it reminds me of the evolution of progress/trends. In my lifetime, I’ve watched Walmart move in and devour small businesses. Now Walmart is complaining about online sites like Amazon! The shoes on the other foot Walmart. I know those Mom & Pop businesses didn’t like Walmart undercutting their prices either.

    Don’t get me wrong. I feel terrible for people that lose their jobs due to technology changes but that’s the way of life. It’s very disturbing that a city is standing in the way of this taxi evolution. Sounds like the local politicians are being too subjective and are sticking their noses into preventing progress.

    That whole Net Neutrality thing is scary. So my internet provider can block I.E. and make me use Google, if it wanted to. Politicians don’t understand technology yet and are leaving big loopholes for abuse.

    I hope everyone has a great day!

  20. A big congrats to all the Stargate Alumni for the listed shows:
    AKA – Paul Millie and Joe
    Echoes – Carl Binder
    Soul Hunter – Rob Cooper
    Strain – David and Kate Hewlett

    I hope it goes well for all.

  21. So, here I am, watching my favorite channel, HGTV, and who do I see? Mike Dopud, our well-known Kiryk and Varro (and also recently on White Collar!). Vancouver actors really are everywhere aren’t they? 😀

  22. Well congrats. WE now have a name to go with the nameless project. Best wishes to all the familiar names. With your current activity of watching Stargate Universe, it gave me the impetuous to watch the Atlantis series. Still good stuff. If Akemi is to go out crabs perhaps she could look for some dungeon(ist) crabs.

  23. Congratulations to all the Stargate chums for getting some wonderful sounding new projects going. My only concern is that are these available for US cable TV, US network TV, Internet, Canada-only, or, how I can I view them once they are produced and airing?

    Thanks to PBMom for the Bell Media link info!

  24. I’m from Amish country, and currently live in “the hood”, language barriers are everywhere even when everyone thinks the speak English. Don’t even get me started on those drunken international Skype conversations on SGU nights!

    I like to think of them as fun little puzzles, much like my hilarious dyslexic reads. This comment alone would have been one of it’s own, if not for spell check.

  25. I am really hiding my head in shame. I just scrolled down the list from Echoes instead of scrolling UP! Will you be able to forgive me? What an immense FAUX PAS!!!

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